votrestyles

hey all.
          	
          	i'm not sure if anyone will be here reading this, but it's been a week and a bit of change since we lost liam tragically. 
          	
          	i have not known what to do with myself since that day. i've been operating through my daily life in a daze, spent half of it crying and the other half wondering why i could feel so much sorrow for someone i never truly knew.
          	
          	a lot of you may or may not have known this when i was active on wattpad, but my fics were created during a time of conflict and sadness for me. one direction was an escape. the environment that blossomed from these men was one that was vital to my adolescence. when everything in my life was uncertain i always had one direction. i had my friends that i made through loving the art they created. 
          	
          	it's been years, at this point. i STILL have those friends. i left high school and i had a sense of hope, confidence. i turned  writing, something that used to hinder me constantly, and turned it into a full time hobby because of them. and even though i don't want to take away from the lessons i learned and the experiences i had after i grew past one direction, part of me forgot that. the influence, what it meant. that even though i didn't know them, they were a formative part of my life. 
          	
          	losing liam reminded me.

votrestyles

and i hope that you guys take care of yourselves. do what you need to do. consume their content, love them, revert back to the good days for a week if you have to. you're valid, and everything you're feeling is normal. i love you all very very much
Reply

votrestyles

i guess i'm saying all of this because a lot of people have had a lot to say, and all i can think about is liam as we knew him. that's the liam i see wen i think about it, and that's the liam i want to remember. creative and caring and so so loving of everything and everyone around him. and this isn't to take anyway from those who were harmed by him. that's just what it is; he definitely hurt people. but hurt people hurt people, and i can't help but think about that here.  
          	  
          	  liam,
          	  
          	  i wanted to write to you when i was a teen, but didn't because i doubted you would have read it. and maybe you wouldn't have, but that would have been fine i realize. because at least it would have been there. and you would have known, in some way or another, that you were loved that much more. 
          	  
          	  i will continue to love you and the other boys for the rest of my life, in turn for the love you had for me. parasocially, or otherwise.
Reply

votrestyles

hey all.
          
          i'm not sure if anyone will be here reading this, but it's been a week and a bit of change since we lost liam tragically. 
          
          i have not known what to do with myself since that day. i've been operating through my daily life in a daze, spent half of it crying and the other half wondering why i could feel so much sorrow for someone i never truly knew.
          
          a lot of you may or may not have known this when i was active on wattpad, but my fics were created during a time of conflict and sadness for me. one direction was an escape. the environment that blossomed from these men was one that was vital to my adolescence. when everything in my life was uncertain i always had one direction. i had my friends that i made through loving the art they created. 
          
          it's been years, at this point. i STILL have those friends. i left high school and i had a sense of hope, confidence. i turned  writing, something that used to hinder me constantly, and turned it into a full time hobby because of them. and even though i don't want to take away from the lessons i learned and the experiences i had after i grew past one direction, part of me forgot that. the influence, what it meant. that even though i didn't know them, they were a formative part of my life. 
          
          losing liam reminded me.

votrestyles

and i hope that you guys take care of yourselves. do what you need to do. consume their content, love them, revert back to the good days for a week if you have to. you're valid, and everything you're feeling is normal. i love you all very very much
Reply

votrestyles

i guess i'm saying all of this because a lot of people have had a lot to say, and all i can think about is liam as we knew him. that's the liam i see wen i think about it, and that's the liam i want to remember. creative and caring and so so loving of everything and everyone around him. and this isn't to take anyway from those who were harmed by him. that's just what it is; he definitely hurt people. but hurt people hurt people, and i can't help but think about that here.  
            
            liam,
            
            i wanted to write to you when i was a teen, but didn't because i doubted you would have read it. and maybe you wouldn't have, but that would have been fine i realize. because at least it would have been there. and you would have known, in some way or another, that you were loved that much more. 
            
            i will continue to love you and the other boys for the rest of my life, in turn for the love you had for me. parasocially, or otherwise.
Reply

votrestyles

votrestyles

i may just be talking to myself here, but i've finished my first year of college, which is crazy in itself...
          
          but i just saw that my fics are now in wattpad rankings, and i remember back when i was writing it was a huge goal of mine. to see it achieved despite my inactive was certainly something.
          
          anyway, it's 2 AM, i have to write for a zine, but i just wanted to say thanks for the support i've never stopped receiving.
          
          - bria
          
          (btw, if you like voltron, my AO3 is the place for you)