ryna

eight years.  i told my best friend about it.
          
          my wonderful best friend.  she was never on wattpad like i was, but we share the experience of being a weird kid with internet access.  i stood at her doorway in our shared apartment and told her everything.  how i stole glances at my phone constantly, anywhere, to see if my friends had replied to me.  how maybe i should've done a lot more research before i incorporated that one thing into a character, or ew, why did i think that was ok?  how i cried when i killed off one of my favorites, even though i had planned it all out.  how i come back to this site each year to honor her and my time here.  cathartic is an apt description, even more perfect given that i first learned the word on here as a kid.  this was two weeks ago.  i went to bed imbued with nostalgia and wondering what i might write here this time.
          
          it's funny.  for one day each may i slip into the skin of the person my teenaged self wanted to be.  it's dusty from disuse and doesn't fit quite right anymore, but it's comforting all the same.  next year will be a decade since i made this account to try my hand at playing my own character and engaging with others who liked the same things as me, people i couldn't really find in person.  maybe it's silly to come here and wax poetic each year about an experience that my friends cringe at when they learn of, but i like it.  i'll send this out and live my life and then come back to do it again.  rinse, repeat.  i feel like i blink and the day arrives.  time really does move faster as you get older.
          
          machi, i told my best friend your story.  she raised an eyebrow at the vampire stuff and frowned at your last moments and giggled over how despite it all, you were my favorite.  i doubt any of us would have ever thought i would be in my twenties and still talking about you.  but i am, and i am glad.
          
          may 13th.  i hope you are well!  i hope you are happy!  as always, love and gratitude from me to each of you.

may 13th, seven years forward.
          
          hello everyone.  i do not know how many of my old friends still use this website.  i do not know whose eyes will come across this post.  but as always i sit myself down and write on this special day, machi's anniversary.  time has flown.  i am big now!  i study and i work and i still write my silly little heart out.  some things never change, i guess.  i am doing well, and i hope you are too.
          
          i often find myself looking back at my time on this site and aching.  cringing at my words, my actions.  i try to be nice to little me.  she was so young, had so much room to grow.  and she did!  she grew and grew and the ache in my heart is proof of that.  i still catch a glimpse of her in all i do.  i see her in my love of media, i see her in the poems i write, i see her in the characters i speak into the world.  i am not her, but she is always holding my hand, asking me what is coming next.  goodness, i hope she is proud.
          
          to be loved is to be changed.  i am proof of that.  and i will forever look back fondly on the time i spent loving and being loved on here.  so, once again, thank you all for the memories.
          
          sweet machi.  thank you.  love to all, always.

hi friends.  it's may 13th again.
          
          i thought about writing a long update like i did last year, but i would like to keep it short and sweet this time.  i think that life is finally starting to fall into place, maybe.  i've set myself on the path toward a future i have always wanted.  i've made friends who care about me and put up with my silliness.  they remind me a lot of my old friends on here.  i hope, wherever everyone is now, that they are well.  again, as always, thank you for the memories.
          
          and machi.  machi!  six years ago i said goodbye to you, that is so wild.  i wish my younger self could see who i am now.  i thought about rewriting a biography document for her, just for nostalgic fun, but i would rather not.  i think it is best to keep her as a relic from my time on here, a taste of who i was and what i loved to do.  i'll listen to her song again tonight.
          
          if anyone does read this, feel free to tell me how you're doing.  i hope everyone is thriving, you all deserve it.
          
          love to machi, love to you all.  happy may 13th.

wow.  i cannot believe i am sitting here and typing this out after vanishing from this platform for an entire year.
          
          hello, dear friends.  i hope you have all been well.  it's been quite the past year, huh?  hopefully everyone has been safe and healthy through these tough times.  i apologize for falling off the face of the earth without so much as a warning.  life has changed so much for me that it is incredibly hard to sum up in one post, but i will give it a shot.
          
          as per usual, i am stressed, but i am now in control of my own life.  my primary platforms are twitter and discord, more so the latter.  i have fallen deep down the dungeons & dragons rabbit hole;  i am in several campaigns and have made some incredible friends, characters, and memories that keep me going.  never thought roleplaying on this site would ever do me good in the real world, but it definitely helps in dnd :')).  i've become more of a pc gamer and am currently fighting my way through the blazblue franchise.  i still love music and autoheart is in full control of my life.  go stream dodie's debut album, build a problem (thank you to whoever from this site introduced me to her - i owe you my life).  i fell in love!  i fell out of love!  i lost!  i found!  i experienced so so much!  and there is so much more coming in the future if i am willing to take it by the reins.
          
          also, the date!!  may 13th, an astounding five years since i said goodbye to machi.  time truly does fly.  i am no longer the young girl i was back then, these five years have sent me challenge after challenge, but i still cling to the memories.  the friends i made along the way, who i've been apart from for so long, will always have a special place in my heart.  thank you to anyone who was a part of my youth and to anyone who has actually read this far.  you're the best.
          
          if you're still here, how are you?  please update me on how you've been doing.  wishing you all the very best!
          
          i love ya, machi.  and i love you guys too.

it's the last hour of may 13th, and for the fourth straight year, i listen to the song that reminds me of my most beloved character.  so much has changed since this time last year.  i went through a lot, met some of my best friends through twitter, and overall grew mentally and emotionally.  despite it all, i will never forget this place, where this crazy online journey began for me, nor will i forget the friends and characters that shaped my experience.  i treasure every person i have met here and will always be grateful.  i love you, machi, always.  thank you.

HI IT’S ME AND MY BIANNUAL MESSAGE TO YOU
          
          I MISS YOU SM AND I HOPE YOU’RE DOING OKAY <333

ryna.. you wouldn’t happen to be going to bts may 17th are you?

rynarynaryna 
          
          i lov u and i miss u <33 i hope life’s treating u well <333

oh my god!!! i’m sorry i just now seeing what u wrote! that is so sweet and honestly made my entire week ❤️ i missed u so much we need to talk more! how’ve u been??

hello i love and miss all of my friends