DawnIsntMyName

i ain’t been active in a while and I rlly enjoy it here but I’ll deleting the app (not account just app) so rip bye guys, ill remember the fun I had (and ill forget the not fun parts thank you) 
          
          <3 i truly do wanna thank anyone who read my story or who even just saw a comment I made and checked out my profile, I thank you for the fun times and again,
          
          <3 
                - DawnIsntMyName

When did Tears for Tomorrow get 6.5k reads what it doesn’t deserve that- thanks, I really, really appreciate it but why lol- Once again though thanks that’s so many reads

if there’s any questions about the poem go ahead and ask, I don’t mind getting personal about this one, it’s nothing too deep, if you don’t have questions that’s good too tho

…I got sad, so I wrote a poem. Here it is, because i want to share it.
          
          
          
          I hate being alive.
          But I can’t bring myself to death.
          Maybe it’s my “lack of drive”
          that keeps me from my last breath.
          
          …My favorite rose is not red. 
          It is the orange blooms that I’m most fond of.
          Random, I know, but the orange flowers fill my head…
          The orange ones are the ones that I love.
          
          Oh, to be a rose,
          Impermanent and nice,
          To have no woes,
          No worries of price.
          
          And how, oh how, I wish the stars to align.
          For this poor little girl, whose eyes no longer bear shine.
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          The end.

Woah, it’s gay month
          
          neat
          
          
          
          
          (Ik it’s pride month just leave me be, imma call it gay month)
          
          
          
          
          So, on a scale of 1-10, how gay are you? Lately I’ve been feeling kinda idk 7-8/10 cause I usually put myself in the 6/10 area cause I wanna feel bi but lately I’ve been feeling more gay then usual if that makes sense

male pronouns, wow
          
          I’m trying to figure out my gender and what I’m comfortable with and I was thinking “hm girl don’t feel right but boy don’t feel right but non-binary don’t feel right so imma test out male pronouns and see if I like it or not”
          
          anyways I’m using male pronouns until I figure out what’s actually right for me so uh yeah I’m AlexIsntMyName now cause that’s a gender-neutral name
          
          Anyways thanks :^)

flat chested girls are lucky, they don’t have to get a new swimsuit because the top is too small for your chest
          
          anyone wanna trade ;-; 
          
          end my suffering pls I hate this
          
          i think mine might be Ds
          
          In 5th/6th grade I got measured and I was a C but that C bra we got doesn’t fit and I wanna die and not exist bc my mom wants me to be proud and I physically cannot be confident
          
          I’m gonna die of shame

Rant about friends, you’re welcome to ignore this:
          
          
          Their code names will be Leah and Maru. I took those names from my favorite game, Stardew Valley, and, while the people I’m talking about today are frustrating me so uh I could scream, the characters from the game have done no harm.
          
          Leah and Maru have been my friends since 6th grade. We just graduated 8th grade. 
          
          In 6th grade, I had convinced myself that all my friends, not just Leah and Maru, hated me, but I scared them into hanging out with me. Eventually, they pulled me out of that, but that month of crying myself to sleep, writing in notebooks about how trash I am and how sorry I am... That month was awful.
          
          And now those two have made me go back into that awful state. They don’t talk to me about anything besides joking around. I’m the jokester, and I can’t handle anything serious.
          
          But I can. I can handle being serious, but they don’t want serious as I would give it. They don’t want the, “You may say you’re not dating him, but you both still act like you did when you were dating.” They want the “It’s okay that you still talk to your ex behind your dad’s back without his permission even though your ex is in 10th grade and we’re in 8th grade.”
          
          Maybe they don’t think I’m serious. 
          
          Well, they wouldn’t know. They don’t talk seriously to me. 
          
          Maybe they don’t trust me.
          
          I haven’t given away a secret, because they haven’t given me any. I wouldn’t give any away anyways.
          
          I wrote them both a letter that says, in a nutshell, “Don’t talk to me over summer break. You two have hurt me, and you have caused me to shrink back into my 6th grade depression. You have more friends, I have one other good friend. I hide nothing from you, you hide everything from me.”
          
          i want to die
          
          but i dont 
          
          im too scared to die
          
          i just want a better life
          
          a better mom
          
          better friends
          
          a better
          
          me

My first non-straight experience was when I was 12 and I don’t think I knew that girls could like other girls so I was just like “I just like her, she’s a great friend” and I was literally thinking “she wouldn’t dare me bc 1, she likes a guy already, 2, we met on frickin AMINO- and 3, shes 15 and I’m 12 ffs”
          
          yeah my gay awaking was on the Ouran High School Host Club amino lmaooo
          
          I’m not lesbian but I’m not straight but bi and pan don’t feel right so I’m saying bi til I find a better word for it lmao

I used to think I was straight until I watched Toradora and realized “oh no denying it, I’m at least bi” because I’m a bigger Taiga simp than Ryuji
          
          
          
          taiga is precious, and I love her and she’s cute, fight me, I’ll lose the fight but I’m sticking with taiga no matter what she’s adorable and great and leave me alone I’m trying to be gay