The Last Philosopher
  • Reads 48,841
  • Votes 5,815
  • Parts 89
  • Time 5h 33m
  • Reads 48,841
  • Votes 5,815
  • Parts 89
  • Time 5h 33m
Ongoing, First published Sep 23, 2015
11x featured wattpad story.

Before everything, it's assumed there was nothing, but what if there was no real difference between the two? Just two extreme philosophies from the first conflict.

The planet Huom has been under observation for longer than should technically be possible. The primary watcher, a bitter black hole, is excited to see that there is finally a proverbial Darkness at the end of the tunnel.

Meanwhile, on the planet, in the freezing mountains of Empris, Lyeasrakardsul, the oldest living sorcerer, suffers from devastating nightmares. At the same time, far away in the sandstone desert of Zenon, Herschel, a man filled to the brim with weird ideas is escaping a prison filled with strange old men.

What does all this have to do with arsehole Gods, hairy Dwarfs, frustrated Afreets, curious Knomes, lizard-women, and nude Áettar? Perhaps Nothing, perhaps Everything... but why can't it be both?
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The Myth of Wile E

119 parts Complete

Highest Ranking: #1 in Humor [FEATURED, SEPT-OCT] An idealistic poet refuses to budge from the last parcel of land a developer needs to acquire in order to build a shopping mall. (Literary satire with pop culture references and environmental themes.) synopsis: The Myth of Wile E. is a riff on the modern obsession with fame and acclaim, as well as a mediation on the artist's place in the modern world, as seen through the eyes of a naive poet who is made simultaneously pathetic and heroic by the pursuit of a singular goal. In this novel, we meet an assortment of eccentric monomaniacs, from mushroom hunters in search of a legendary truffle, to birders pursuing a possibly-extinct bird, to competitive Duck Stamp artists, to "the World's Foremost Living Statue"...and even a very stubborn spider. Meanwhile, our narrator--a terrible, yet persistent, poet--battles a ruthless land developer who's determined to acquire the poet's humble property, in an escalating battle of wills that spirals out of control when the media gets involved. With these quirky events as a backdrop, we gradually learn of the misfortunes that befell each member of the poet's family in their various misguided quests for glory. We also learn why money makes the world go flat, why talent is a white elephant, and what it means for parents to love their children "to pieces." Some of my influences are Richard Brautigan (especially), Christopher Moore, Kurt Vonnegut, Tom Robbins, and George Saunders, so if you like any of them, I hope you'll enjoy this, too.