Dean could still hear it, even now that they had been back for a few weeks. He could see the horror on Cas' face, the panic. He could hear the pain in his voice, recalled how it had twisted and turned in the depths of his eyes and contorted his features. He could still feel his own body go numb with hurt and shame, only to come alive with pain and dread once Cas told him about it.
He hadn't been able to say it. He'd finally been ready to say it. But he didn't. Couldn't.
Cas had begged him. Had begged him not to.
"Dean. Please, if you're about to say what I think you are- please. Please, you can't-"
Dean had waited so long to be able to say it, had fought and denied and swallowed those words, those feelings so many times. Now that he was ready to let them go, they weighed heavily on his heart, demanding to be set free and fly. Kept inside, they seemed to settle in his chest, pulling him down.
"Don't", Cas had begged, something inside Dean shattering, coldness spreading, closing around his heart like a fist. "Please, don't."
~oOo~
Or the one where Cas tells Dean about the Empty-Deal after his Purgatory Prayer and everything hurts until it doesn't.
A college Destiel AU fic.
Castiel Novak is 20 years old, and on the verge of a mental break down just about every damn day of his life.
He went to college to live up to his mother's expectations, but he's starting to rethink whether or not he actually cares about that.
Maybe it was the new found independence of living his own life? Or maybe it was the mysterious chat from a stranger that set him on the edge of rebellion.
He only accepted the chat because he had no friends in the real world to begin with... maybe he could use on online friend.
---------
Dean Winchester never knew how much he needed someone to care for.
With his little brother Sammy away at a different college and living with his girlfriend, Dean was all alone, where he previously had never had a moment to himself.
Dean started a chat with a stranger to find himself a new friend. He quickly realized how much he actually enjoyed the anonymous personality on the other side of the screen.
And through his 22 years, he had never fallen for someone as much as he did the kid from the party.
Little did he know, they were the same person.
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started publishing: september 16th, 2018
ended publishing: february 10th, 2019
I hope to update daily, I pre-wrote most of this story before the publication date, so if I'm not updating enough, let me know :)