December 12

BLEATING FORMALITY

Stupidity stalks me when I am tired, hijacking my
mouth.  I can put this off to pilot error
or interruption of service on my neurologic pipeline, but truly I have been
captured by senseless, irrational muttonness. 
I would love to say it was pigheadedness but, alas, I am not
self-determined, I am a sheep.  I open my
lips and out pours the same plaintive cry as the surrounding herd.  In addition, once begun, the wail is
unending; it’s as if the bellows works on its own carrying a tune which blends
with the entire wool-coated world.  I
shift and run with my position according to the movements at large.  I am following the reactionary breed, dropping
the specifics of my personality as one of the crowd; my brain is switched off
and a quick veneer grows over my eyes.  I
can’t see, think, or speak for myself and yet it doesn’t occur to me to hit the
hay.  When as a petulant three year old I
do fall to sleep in my tracks, I wake as myself with many bleating apologies to
be made.

Put morbidity on a
leash and never walk it alone.

*

Peter and I

This flight is not filled

with the giggling cherubs of my westerly flight,

but among the solemn children on this flight

is Peter, the oldest of four,

who is reading Tolkien

and marking his place with a two page wish list.

Christmas is coming and Peter seems confident.

 

I wonder if we are what we read

and ponder if I am what I write.

Poetry, stories, novels, declarations,

it all feels like arms and legs,

things I cannot move right without.

 

I live better when they are out and free.

I am free too, when they live on their own

and I am not their soul residence.

 

I have to rededicate myself

to the work entrusted to me

for so much living depend upon it.

 

Vlog:  http://youtu.be/pIxhPgXDifU

 

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane
and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
All Rights Reserved