Jul-2023: I'm sorry to put the status as 'hiatus'. Bobby's marriage makes me feel awkward for this. I know this entire fic is just a AU; might one day come back to complete it.. for Bobby. 

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I never loved Kim Jiwon. 
  
We were acquaintances once. Friends, at best. I thought Kim Jiwon is a very easy-going and cool guy to be friends with. We kicked it off almost straight away even though I was the shy 'poor rich girl' back in my school days. He craved attention; he liked the attention. That was why he started to learn to rap, and he is very good at it. 
  
I really never really loved Kim Jiwon. 
  
Our engagement was a huge blow to me. I tried my best to convince Kim Jiwon but I never got through to him no matter what I did. When all else have failed, I ran away. From everything and everyone. Only connection left between us is the screen that I used to watch his performances. The rapper idol named Kim Jiwon. 
  
I don't want to love Kim Jiwon. 
  
I disliked how I was forced to be with him. I disliked how I was pushed to the corner to be with him. Like a puppet being controlled by invisible strings, I felt used and the feeling is very sickening. Kim Jiwon was not the main reason I left. He never was. But I didn't want to admit to that. 
  
I really don't want to love Kim Jiwon.
  
I never told anybody how his very presence sends weird signals to my brains that I could hardly breathe. Nor have I told anybody how his voice made my heart skip so many beats, I swear I will be getting a heart attack. Of course, I have also never told a soul that his very touch channels comforting warmth that I would voluntarily drown into. 
  
... but Kim Jiwon knows all this. 
  
"I am a lucky man to have you. No matter how much you deny me, you are mine. Only mine. I will make sure of that." 
  
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authornim: this is NOT your typical arranged marriage. Not your typical fluffy Kim Jiwon either. 
  
TRIGGER WARNING: kidnap. Violence. Mature themes. Rape. Read at your own risk.
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