"You were worried about me, Specs?" He smirked. "No, Tyler. I hoped that someone cut up your corpse and fed it to paranas. Obviously I was, you idiot! I'm a doctor. Worrying about people is kind of programmed into my system. It's a curse if you ask me," I surprised myself a lot more than I thought was possible with my answer. And what did he do? Laugh! He fucking laughed! Not full on rolling- on- the- floor laughter but a laugh nonetheless. "This isn't funny, Tyler." "It kind of is. Almost a month ago, I would've sworn that you hated me. Be careful, Specs," he squinted down at me, "or you might actually sound as if you like me." I rolled my eyes. "Don't flatter yourself. I was concerned. Don't confuse that with affection. It's two very, very different things." *** When you think that all is not lost in the world. That not all men are pricks and that not all sushi is bad. When you think that there is a light, no matter how dim, at the end of the tunnel. When you think that life isn't the ruthless bitch you've always thought it was... It turns around and bites you in the ass. When you think that the past will always and forever remain where it should be... It comes at you from every direction. Like a violent tsunami destroying everything...and everyone in it's path. Can you change what happened? I wish. Can you stop what's going to happen? God! I really hope so.

You met Dan in College and became close friends, even dropped out at the same time as him because of overwhelming stress, and your Depression and Anxiety. Your parents won't take you back in because they're abusive and always have been, so you have no where to go. That is until Dan saves you and takes you in. At his place you met Phil and instantly there's something about him that makes you fall in love. Phil and you bond immediately and he promises to help you through your depression and other problems, no matter how hard it may be.

I was what they called a perfectionist. I had everything planned out and wanted a simple straightforward life. Things at home were hectic, disturbed, painful and heart-breaking. I decided that I wanted to stay away from all people that could possibly hurt me. For example, friends, extended family, judgemental neighbours and worst of all, the one I dreaded the most... love. But of course, as any normal story goes, I was unable to steer clear of love. I was unable to steer clear from him. I let myself drown in merciless water, drown so deep, the surface was out of the question. I let myself escape and wonder in his inequitable love, so blinded, so foolish. I thought I could no longer drown. But that day. That one day. That day ensured my belief. That I would forever drown alone.

"The moon's really beautiful, if you think about it," I blurted. "Yeah?" he asked, mild amusement and curiosity mingling in his voice. "Yeah," I confirmed. "It's just- there's something about the moon that's ethereal. I don't really know how to describe it, but it's a constant in life. You can't always see it, but you have to trust that it's out there somewhere. And when you can see it, it's all bright and shiny and overcomes the darkness." I paused, searching for the right words. "I don't know. I guess it's a reminder that there are good things out there, even if you can't see them... And it's cool to think that someone hundreds of miles away is staring at the exact same moon as you. It makes me feel not so alone in life." Turning my head, I saw him staring at me intently with a thoughtful look on his face. "Too deep for a Friday night?" I laughed nervously, feeling my face grow hot. And this was precisely why I didn't go to parties. He shook his head and seemed to snap out of his daze. "It was deep in a good way." *** SHE was quiet & left out. Part of a friend group because of convenience. Dealing with fighting parents at home. Looking for more in life. Always wanting to get away from Chicago & start over. Her parents' divorce gave her the perfect opportunity. Ending up in Haven Beach, she rekindled relationships with estranged relatives & got the teenage experience she had always dreamed of. Midnight drives. Bonfires at the beach. Adventures every day. Friends who actually cared. Because of Haven Beach, she found herself. HE was a focused athlete- Haven Beach's golden boy. The 4 F's were all that mattered: football, friends, family, & food. All that changed when a quiet brunette moved to town. Because of her arrival in Haven Beach, his world shifted on its axis. THIS is Charlotte & Eli's story. Started: 12/10/20 Finished: 2/16/21 WC: 107k #1 in contemporary romance 5/24 #1 in sports romance 7/16 #1 in friends to lovers 8/1 #1 in newgirl 8/8

"I can't do this anymore", I whisper, a single tear rolling down my cheek. I am looking at the floor and try desperately to keep my voice steady. "I gave my best this term. I really did. I studied more than ever, trained harder, tried my best with friends and family... I gave everything I have and I did not give up. But it's not working. It's just not working... I just cannot do it anymore... I cannot do any of it... I- I-... I just want to-" The tears start flowing faster now as my voice breaks. My whole body is quivering and I feel small and vulnerable like I have always been in the past couple of months. But now something is different. A warm hand touches my shoulder, showing me that I am not alone anymore. Astoria Wells is a senior high school student studying by the IB diploma program at a prestigious school in London. She trains in an elite swim team in Islington and is close to being accepted into the London Roar Academy. The coming year is extremely important to Astoria. However, as fate would have it, it's not going quite as planned. Astoria finds herself facing many challenges. Suddenly her everyday life starts breaking apart and she plunges into a deep abyss. It's pitch black. There is no light in sight. The girl is overwhelmed with frustration, suffering, and despair. This is a journey through dark valleys and obscure caves. But it is also a path of self-discovery and healing. Yes, her smile fades... but it reappears again and changes her forever.

* TRIGGER WARNING* there may or may not be parts of this book that people may find upsetting. It talks about mental illness. Also it talks about religion so if any of these things may trigger you then I recommenced not reading this. However feel free to talk to me because I'm hear to support y'all. 16-year-old Matthew is on the lengthy journey of self-acceptance and discovery. How will he cope with a rising taste for a blonde boy who managed the earth on his fingertips like crushed berries. Will he learn to love himself? Or will he allow his doubt to control him and his sprouting relationship? "Taste me in crimson so that when we taste no more, when age will turn our buds sour and memories hazy, that I have hope to scour my letterbox and find you wrapped pristine silk, next to an image of June. Within your eyes, euphoric." Acknowledgements 1# slice of life 15/01/21 23# closeted 15/01/21

"I can't believe you, I can't believe you would do all of this to win? Did it mean nothing to you? Did I mean nothing to you?" His voice was shaking, his hands were shaking and his legs felt like clouds, whether it was because of anger or sadness it didn't matter because he refused to break down in front of her; not after what she had done. "This was never how I intended it to unfold... I swear, I-, it was just a stupid trap at first, I never thought it would work. I never thought you would fall for me" She took a step toward him, reaching to take his hand, the hand that was currently fiddling with the charm she had given him, but as she did he took a step back "But you did, and I didn't know what to do because I- I fell for you too and- God this was never meant to happen" The girl buried her face in her hands rubbing her eyes and hoping that when she'd look up everything would go back to how it was before he found out "I don't want excuses Torres. You could've put an end to this, you could've stopped it all the moment I told you I loved you" No, he couldn't cry, he couldn't show her he was weak, his voice cracked but he wouldn't have any other slip ups even if it felt like daggers were stabbing him repeatedly and without mercy each time he looked into her eyes "I despise you"

SYNOPSIS: A boy at a crossroads in his life must find what he'll become, lest he stay unbecoming. When he stumbles upon something that reveals more about him, his family's past, and more, will he choose to go further into the unknown, or stay in the safe mundanity of his familiar prison where all his familiar faces live in bliss? Real life struggles, character driven, forces beyond our control... Thriller, Romance, Humor, and Cosmic Horror - all in one. I hope that you enjoy my book's free prologue and first episode! ABOUT THE BOOK: I'll be finishing the book's first volume (which is what you're currently reading) and releasing it through a publisher some time in the future! Until then, I hope that you enjoy the free prologue and first episode! This project's been a long time in the making! My first true book. If you enjoy existentialism/metaphysics, true romance (and what it means to love), terror, cosmic horror, and action with some humor, this story is for you!

Twelve years ago, he drove away with my heart in his hands. I've moved on since then. Or so I thought. Growing up in a small town, there weren't too many options when it came to friends. But, even in a sea of a million, I'd always choose Jake Jameson. I felt safe with him. Safe with my secrets, my dreams and eventually - my heart. I thought we'd have forever together. That was a long time ago. I thought I'd forgotten those piercing blue eyes and the sound of his laugh. I tried to obliterate the memory of his touch from my mind. But, one single glance, as he stands at my door, twelve years later, and I'm suddenly transported back to a simpler time when love was easy, and my heart was whole. The problem? I'm marrying his best friend.

I gave the best of myself to someone who didn't have anything to lose. I didn't know how to avoid my lover's toxic and abusive flames. My lover's twisted words were like a maze inside of my head that I couldn't escape. Sadly, my lover's actions hypnotized my thoughts and paralyzed my thinking. I learned the hard way that love isn't leaning in for a kiss, and a fist meets you halfway. Love isn't being a punching bag because someone decided they wanted to beat on you today. Love isn't saying I love you just because someone wants to keep you to themselves. I tried to be there for my lover, but I learned it is impossible to fix the broken pieces when the glass has shattered. There will always be pieces that are not repairable. However, I kept going right back to the person who I needed to walk away from. I was afraid, and I wasn't brave enough to wake up from this nightmare! I made the choice to suffer when life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. Will I find the courage to know my worth and know that I deserve better than the distasteful lies that are whispered in my ears? Will I have the strength to fight my insecurities? Will, I set myself free, or will I let my love be the death of me?