This song was on repeat while writing this chapter and that never really happens with me. I usually have all my music on shuffle but I had to for this chapter. If you know the song or listen to it, you'll recognize the similar lyrics used in this chapter:)
Anyway, surprise! I'm hoping no one expected this chapter ahead.
Enjoyyy♡
"P-please," Jayden whimpered behind the door. It shattered me completely because every ounce of my heart was screaming at me to open the door and throw myself at him. We wanted to be happy like everyone else. But we couldn't. Like always, my heart and head were battling with a decision, and right now...I needed to stand strong with my head because if I go with my heart we both would be broken and fucked up in the end.
Even more, than we are right now.
"Just one final kiss, please," he whispered. My heart craved for him, yet it shattered at the same time. "Jay, it's the right decision. We can't anymore," I choked out, trying my best to not let him hear me sobbing on the floor. "I know, I know but it's more than just fooling around, Ren. I love you, I'm fucking in love with you and I'm torturing myself by being away from you," he sighed. Daggers to the heart. His words were daggers to my heart.
I've loved Jayden all my life. He was a brother to me. When Rieka left we connected differently emotionally and mentally to deal with everything. And we healed each other together. I'm the one that helped him realize that Rieka wasn't the bad guy and convinced him to go see her at the golden cove pack. I wanted to believe that this isn't permanent. I wanted to believe that tomorrow I'll wake up in his arms but the light in the dark is gone.
"Please don't do this to me, I know you feel the same way, Renee so please just open the door," he demanded through the tears and jiggles the doorknob as if it would magically open. "Please go. I can't do this right now," I sniffled and my hand slapped across my mouth to suppress the sounds of my crying.
Please don't leave.
"One last time. I'll do anything for you, Renee. I visited Rieka, I forgave William, I stopped looking for those two boys, I gave Everest a chance. All for you. You can't expect me to throw my all away just because you said so. It isn't so easy," he snapped. Jayden gets angry easily. He told me out of all the tactics he had for his anger, I was the one to calm him down the most.
"You agreed to it two nights ago. We agreed that we'll stop because we aren't mates, Jayden. Remember how shattered Bradey was? You know that was a sign for us, you said so yourself," I reminded him and got enough bravery to stand on my feet. "I wanted us to last, I'm not giving up yet. I don't know what I was saying before. I wasn't thinking with my heart but now I am," he admitted.
Here I am doing the opposite.
The magic, the electricity, the hope. All of it is gone now.
My love for him is the greatest thing ever. So why is it so wrong? The worst thing is, my wolf, Seren, approved of Jayden. She liked him before I did, she was part of the reason I did I guess. But she reminded me that this wasn't forever. We're not forever.
We have mates. Who we are destined to be with.
Why does the moon goddess have to do me like this? I've been a perfect child. I haven't been a jealous sister, I gave my brother the throne even though I'm the older one, I've been the perfect warrior and I'm trying to stop smoking and drinking. My personal life has never come before my pack.
That's what got me in this mess in the first place.
It's all fun and games until one of us falls in love.
"I'm so sorry, Jay," I whispered. I'm really sorry, he knows how sorry I am but I cannot. I can't continue because we'll regret it. Even if we ignore our mates and reject them, the missing feeling that throws us into depression, the dying, what if we actually fall for our mates?
"But you're right," he breathes out and the broken parts of my heart shattered even more. "We have other halves. It's better now than if we're more serious...now we're just a secret fling. I wanna be more, it's you that I love the most but...I Can't have you. All I ask is just one more night to hold you, Ren. One more night, let me love you one last time," he pleaded, his words perfectly pushed my head away and the love for each other hummed through us.
Without thinking twice, I opened the door.
"William," she sang and pulled me into the captivating dream. I woke up on the tree like always, the sky was a different shade of blue that has never been named. The enchanted forest. I'm here again. The humming rings through my ears but I'm barely phased since I've been here countless times already. "William," she calls again and I jump off the tree to the marble and pitch pathway leading to the big white tree where she sat in front of.
"My goddess, what seems to be the problem?" I bowed in respect. She only comes to me when she needs me or something like that. The moon goddess sat peacefully, her long silver blue hair breezing through the air, her silver skin hidden by the white gown she wore. She had her legs crossed and her hands resting on her knee.
"Tell them for me, please. Tell Renee that it's okay to love Jayden. Tell them that their mates are at a better place. They aren't disobeying or disappointing me. They will do great things together, I can already see it. Please, let them know that they shouldn't give up," she says with a smile on her face.
This takes me by surprise but it's impossible for me to react the way I usually would in this state of mind.
Jayden and Renee?
They're...
"Okay, I will. Anything for you," I politely agreed and she smiled again. "You're doing a great job, William. Everest will be a powerful Queen. Just stick by her side," she added on, the thought of Everest made my heart flutter. I'm supposed to be sleeping next to her right now. "I'll never leave her side," I agreed without hesitation.
"Lovely, now go before it's too late. Find Renee where she's supposed to be?" She says and suddenly I'm walking back to the tree. Where she's supposed to be? Her bedroom. It's in the middle of the night. "Oh and William?" Her soft voice pulls me back. I turn around, waiting for her to say something but all I see is her worry. What's this about? The moon goddess is never worried or anything close to it.
"The black magic is coming."
It felt like I'm dropped onto the bed with a hard force but in reality, I just woke up from the vision dream. Everest slept soundly beside me, cuddling into my side. Then the recollecting started. My eyes widened and I threw myself off the bed. I ran out of the room with the moon goddess' message printed in my mind.
Renee's bedroom door was already opened. I stepped inside to see her and Jayden kneeling on the floor as they held each other like their lives depended on it. "She said it was okay!" I blurted out, my heart trashed around my ribcage.
"Will, it's not what it looks like!" Renee says quickly at my notice. "Who did?" Jayden asked at the same time. Of course, I ignored Renee. "The moon goddess- I got a vision dream thing. She said it was okay, she said you can love. You aren't going against anything. Your mates have found better places. It's okay to be together," I summarized the best I can.
Jayden wasted no time grabbing Renee by the back of her head before he slammed his lips down on hers.
Ten more chapters left before the epilogue😬❤