A heavy silence engulfed the two men sitting face to face in the study of Wayne Manor. Bruce had recounted all that had happened to Tim two years ago and Jason had listened each painful word, jaw clenched tightly and eyes burning up.
Tim had been abducted by the Joker in his very early days of being Robin. And Richard had been right in saying that it was probably the darkest part in their lives after losing Jason because the incident had left all of them shaken up terribly even though they had not yet recovered from the sorrow of Jay's tortuous death.
Bruce had never wanted Tim to become Robin because he feared that he would not be able to protect him, his failure in Jason's death used to glare back at him every second of the day and he never wanted it all to repeat. But Tim had been adamant, stressing that Batman needed a Robin and Gotham needed the crime stopping duo.
After Jason, Bruce had lapsed into a a terrible self loathing state. As Batman he was more reckless, more dangerous and it was something he could not control. The guilt of not being able to rescue his son from the flames and the torture harrowed up his soul even then. It was the time when Gotham had fallen into a chaotic heap because Batman without his Robin was not in the state to keep going with his mission.
Yet he had trudged on but gotten even more frustrated when things took a turn for the worst. At that time Tim had dropped in like a glimmer of hope and Alfred had seen the boy as Bruce's second chance. With Tim and Alfred jointly persuading him, he had finally agreed to let the boy join as Robin.
He had trained him himself and though it was hard for Tim to adjust at first, the boy had still continued with a fervent passion and as time passed, he had not only become trained enough to be Robin but had also warmed Bruce's heart towards him. Tim was naturally a very lovable child, with his wide star struck eyes, adorable smile and the way he looked up to Bruce like a father figure and mentor all contributed in him getting attached to the boy.
But right when Bruce was beginning to think that things were coming back to normal and maybe he did deserve a second chance, Joker had swooped in again like a terror from hell and snatched little Tim out of his hands.
And the fear of losing another son, another young soul to his crusade of battling for justice had struck Bruce with a high intensity. He could never forgive himself for risking not one but two lives and both at the hands of the maniacal Joker.
Joker had tortured Tim to near insanity, damaging him mentally in such a drastic manner that Tim was no longer able to remember who he was. And using his fragile state to his own advantage, Joker had controlled him like a broken puppet, tormenting Bruce as well by making his own son, his own partner stand up against him with a bazooka in his trembling hands.
That night was what haunted Bruce's worst nightmares along with the night he had lost Jason and carried his dead body out of that detonated warehouse in Bosnia.
Tim's face painted with clown paint, the grin cut onto his features, the unnerving laughter and tears pouring out of him at the same time was a terrifying sight Bruce could never get rid of from his memory.
But deep beneath those layers of torture and insanity inflicted upon him, Tim was still a warrior, a survivor, a soldier who was trained to fight till the last breath. So when the Joker had ordered Tim to kill Batman and the boy was supposed to follow the order because he no longer remembered anything and Joker had been manipulating him a lot, still he could not press the trigger at Batman.
Some part him had still recognized Bruce and instead of shooting at Batman he had snapped out of Joker's manipulation turning on him and pressing the trigger. Tim had shot Joker but his aim was not perfect due to his trembling fingers so Joker was not hurt fatally. But it had taken all the little remaining strength and will from Tim to fight back against the manipulation and soon as he had pressed the trigger and the bullet pierced through his tormentor, poor Tim had collapsed on the ground, tears pouring down his eyes and he had lapsed into an unresponsive state.
It had taken two years for Tim to fully recover but the boy had turned out to be much stronger opposed to his fragile appearance. And finally after two years of rehab and special care, Tim was finally back and had taken the mantle of Red Robin. Bruce had once again tried to convince him not to resume being a vigilante but Tim had refused, stating that being a vigilante kept him sane and if Bruce refused him his wings in the night sky, he would collapse and not be able to resume with his life.
So Bruce had to give in and it was that very year Jason returned to Gotham that Tim had started operating as Red Robin. And even though the boy was traumatized to the end of his wits, like Jason had stated earlier, even though he still had nightmares, he always covered it all up and moved on.
That sort of resilience in him kept Bruce going in turn. If Bruce was still donning the cape and the cowl, it was due to Tim.
But as Bruce recounted each tormenting day of bringing Tim back to normal and watching him suffer, his features had drawn from guilt, sorrow and self loathing. An expression that didn't go unnoticed by Jay and for that short instant, he almost felt sympathetic for the man sitting in front of him.
However, that did not justify the fact that Joker was still alive.
Jason spoke up at last, "and you can't kill the Joker?"
"You know my answer very well, Jason," he replied with a weary sigh, worn out eyes connecting with Jay's stormy irises briefly.
Jason's features had drawn in a frown as he was deciding what to do next, his brain going on a different but dangerous track, one that would put him in life threatening danger once again, "then maybe I will have to do something myself."
Concern struck Bruce's exhausted features and he spoke up, "Jason no... Please, don't do anything you will regret later."
Jason looked up, eyes connecting with his frantic blue once again, "what? And leave that psycho to ruin more lives?"
"Jason, it is not easy to take him out, you will end up getting hurt," Bruce had an almost entreating look in his eyes, "I... I lost you once, I can't let it happen again."
Jason froze at those words for he was not expecting to hear that. For all those years he had made himself believe that he was just a mistake to Bruce; nothing less, nothing more. But right then seeing him sitting in front of him, his eyes full of concern and the fear of losing him again struck through Jason's heart.
"But you did. You almost lost Tim too even though he was your second chance."
He looked down saying not another word and Jason observed him closely, realizing just then that Bruce appeared much older than he last remembered. Old and tired, exhausted from the burden he carried on his shoulders each second of his tough life.
Those sharp brows were drooping from guilt and fatigue, wrinkles had started to crease his skin and right then he looked so much older than his actual age that Jason could see why it was said that the worries one had age the person drastically.
And right then Bruce looked no less than a father who had lost his one son in the war, nearly lost the other as well and the constant fear of losing the others hung over him. He looked like a father who had been through too much and though he had no strength to pick himself up and go on, he still had to do that because so much depended on his aging shoulders.
"You're right but please... I don't think I will be able to handle another loss. I no longer give myself second chances but Tim makes me think past that. And even though you are not willing to come back to us and I will never pressurize you into doing so either... But still at least I know that you're alive... At least I know that you are living your life and not buried in that grave..."
Hearing him talk, observing his features closely throughout, noticing the fatigue and the burden weighing him down and seeing him plead Jason not to risk his life again made Jay relent. He stood up but Bruce's eyes did not leave his stormy irises, the request written clearly through.
"Jason..."
"You've told me all I wanted to know and that means I should leave now," he replied firmly though the anger in him towards Bruce had subsided by then while his brain had set out on a track to end Joker once and for all. But he could not let Bruce know about that or else Batman would also become an obstacle in what he was planning to do.
Bruce did not stop him as he left and shortly after Richard stepped in through the very door Jason had stepped out of. Richard's features were evident of concern as he took in Bruce's exhausted stature and approached him cautiously, "Bruce, are you alright?"
"I am fine," he replied though his words contradicted the look in his eyes, "where's Damian?"
"In the training hall. He's fine though, he was angry at Jay first but I have talked him out of it."
He sighed, "can you please send Alfred in? I need to talk to him."
Richard nodded and stepped out too in order to bring Alfred over. He could see that the confrontation with Jason had been emotionally devastating for Bruce and Alfred was the only one who could help Bruce at that moment.
***