Julian POV
Jaskier watched Geralt for a moment, carefully, to see what he would do with being given with such a challenge. He never really thought him and Geralt would be doing this right now. Or at all really. It seemed strange, like a dream that he would never want to wake up from. He thought kisses, maybe, yeah that made sense. But here they were, whatever they were, and they were kissing, biting, licking, teasing and they were both fucking shirtless.
He could feel his chest against Geralt's, careful not to rub into it as he was sure Geralt was being just as careful. He could feel the warmth radiating off of the other man and onto his own chest which was starting to warm up, his whole body was now warm to the touch. He could feel Geralt's heartbeat slightly against him but he knew Geralt could probably hear how hard Jaskier's heart was pounding from being around Geralt in general, And now, now although it was not pounding out of his chest as hard as it could be, it was damn well pounding and he had let his guard down slightly with keeping it in check so he knew it was faster.
Jaskier felt his eyebrows raise as Geralt kissed him and gently too. He hummed, kissing back and closing his eyes as he smiled into it, moving his lips just as gentle as Geralt was before but he could not help but chuckle lightly into the kiss. He let his hand continue to keep giving gentle tugs at his hair before he parted his lips and ran his tongue over Geralt's bottom lip in a teasing way. He knew this was one thing he definitely had power over Geralt in. The man would not kiss him with tongue, he knew he wouldn't.
He would not return it whenever they did anything with tongues unless they counted the one time Geralt licked his bite after giving him it. He let Geralt lead it, it was his answer, his turn. He could decide what happened next but that did not stop Jaskier from nipping at Geralt's bottom lip, sucking on it and giving it a small bite before allowing the man to have it back.
Geralt POV
Geralt could feel, rather than hear, Jaskier's heartbeat. His sense of touch was as mutated and enhanced as the rest of them. It was both a curse and a blessing. He was acutely aware of everywhere he and Jaskier were touching, from how they had ended up with their legs alternating between each others, to how Jaskier's skin was beginning to warm.
The man was kissing him back. Good. Geralt was improvising from here, but he was sure he could find something. Jaskier was chuckling, though. Geralt didn't react, nor did he give any signs of acknowledging the tugging of his hair. He noticed both, he simply didn't give signs of it.
Geralt wanted to grind his teeth as Jaskier's to the ran over his lip. Shit. That was one part that Jaskier controlled here, and the man knew it. And probably knew that Geralt knew. He let the man bite his lip, waiting to see if that was Jaskier's answer or if the man was just being stubborn.
When Jaskier let go, Geralt gently pulled back. He needed a next move, right. And to not freeze. He moved again before he lingered too long and seemed like he had run out of ideas.
He ducked his head and mouthed gently at Jaskier's neck. There were no teeth, and there was no tongue. Just mouthing. He worked his way down slowly, pausing at the spot he had bitten at the hollow of Jaskier's throat. The man seemed sensitive there, and Geralt was going to take advance of that.
Julian POV
Jaskier Felt as Geralt pulled away and was half expecting to instantly feel lips somewhere or teeth but there was nothing for a moment. He opened his eyes for a moment, curiosity taking a hold of him before he felt Geralt's lips on his neck. Only his lips as well and- oh. Oh, he liked that indeed. He could feel his heart speed up at the feeling, his body let a small shiver run throughout it as he pressed into Geralt's chest some more as he made his way down but had to take off some pressure as he could feel it pulled. He slid his hand down to Geralt's hip, not losing contact with the skin, and allowed his thumb to rest above where Geralt's pants line started. He gently caressed into the exposed skin, s small smirk on his face as he tilted his head directly back for Geralt to have more access.
He was somewhere between grinning and smirking as he felt Geralt's lips trailing but allowed a gasp to escape him, a little quieter than the last but he could still feel his throat muscles moving from the sensitive spot as he swallowed. Fuck. Now they were even ad both know each others weaker spots on their bodies. Geralt's was Jaskiers tongue. And Jaskiers was the feeling of Geralt's lips on the most sensitive part of his neck. Christ, he was melting under the mas touch.
He let a small tug on Geralt's hair as he gasped, hips going against Jaskiers will and wanting to squirm slightly from the sensation so he allowed them to but only once. All it felt like was Jaskier's hips bucking forwards int he slightest, which they did before he allowed them to still and be set in the same place as they were before which he only just realized now that their legs were practically intertwined, chests pressed up which was now just as hot as each other.
He knew Geralt would've noticed the hip buck seeming as if he moved any closer forwards then he would be straddling the man's thigh which although did not sound unpleasant, it still sounded rather like he was trying to get Geralt to have sex with him. Which, as lovely as it may be, trust him when he said he has imagined it while being occupied, it was not his intention towards Geralt right now.
Nor would it be any time they loved on each other unless Geralt said that he wanted to. He was utterly helpless underneath his touches right now but he was going to win. He had to show who was in charge so he moved one leg forwards slightly, the one between his legs and let Geralt's inner thigh rib against Jaskier's outer thigh to show he still had tricks up his sleeve. He was a stripper after all. All he had to do was get Geralt to sit down and jump on his lap and start dancing over him and he knew he would win. But if you know you're going to win, where's the fun in playing?
Geralt POV
Geralt could feel how Jaskier pressed more firmly against him for a moment, before shifting away. He let the man adjust as he needed. Any expressions he didn't make sure hidden by Jaskier's neck as a hand was slid down his side to rest on his hip.
The gasp and with it, the hip movement nearly turned Geralt away. But Jaskier caught and stilled himself, and so Geralt stayed.
Geralt seized Jaskier's offer when the man exposed his neck further, trailing up it with his mouth. Jaskier appeared to be most sensitive by the hollow of his throat, but Geralt would have to come back to that later. He moved to just below the man's ear now, nipping at that skin before moving back down a little ways.
He hissed lightly, not in place of a gasp but instead as a teasing warning, when Jaskier moved one leg forwards slightly. He trusted Jaskier. He HAD to trust Jaskier, both right now and later. It wasn't that he wasn't alright with sex, he just didn't want it now. And he didn't do it with clients, or ex-clients for that matter. Jaskier was on that list.
Geralt instead recaptured Jaskier's mouth with his own, still going for softness but this time also trying to be the one in control of the kiss. He was going to win this challenge, damnit, but he played by his own rules.
Julian POV
Jaskier allowed a breathy bit of air to exit out of between his lips as he felt Geralt move to below his hear and nipping at it, which made him smile and a little bit of a laugh comes out. Curse his ticklish side of him. Damn, Geralt had found it. He was ticklish, yes, but many people had never discovered it about the man. There was no way Geralt would have missed that slight laugh either.
He heard Geralt gasped and felt a smirk come onto his face. So, the man was indeed affected by it. Jaskier would lock that information away in the back of his mind for if it ever needed to rise, it would be there. Not that he was really expecting it to rise. As mentioned earlier, it was not his intention to try and have sex with him, it was merely testing the waters. He couldn't help but find the way he hissed was his warning as anything really but adorable. He hissed, gave a warning but he had not gone ahead and admitted Jaskier had won.
Jaskier felt Geralt take his mouth once again and smiled instantly, noticing how Geralt had decided to keep it just as gentle but still take charge.
That was impressive, Jaskier would give him that. It did also make him weak at the knees. Unfortunately, quite literally. He felt his left knee, the one that was on the outside of where he would be straddling, give in slightly. He managed to lock it before it made him fall over but it made his whole body drop towards the left slightly which made Jaskier frown in pain from the two's chests rubbing together. His lips pulled away from Geralt's as soon as he felt the shooting pain and hissed slightly.
Curses for not being able to stand for too long. He had done a lot today, considering that he was still recovering. It was only expected, as he had been warned, that his body may sometimes give out under slight stress of some sort. His heart had been beating fast, and he had been standing for a while seeming he had not sat down since tucking Ciri into bed. He face unscrewed itself, not wanting Geralt to see how badly it had hurt him.
His eyes were slightly watery from the sudden sensation but he was not crying. It was similar to when your nose gets pressed a little too hard and your eyes just water slightly. It was the same feeling. He blinked a couple of times to clear his eyes of the glassiness, even though it was still visable and he looked to Geralt, giving a sheepish smile. He had not noticed how his hand naturally gripped to Geralts hair lightly so he loosened his grip. His other hand that was on his upper hip was also gripping onto him so he loosened that.
"Sorry." he mumbled, a slight bit embarrassed at how fragile he seemed to be compared to Geralt. He felt as if he would instantly be seen as weak.
Geralt POV
Geralt frowned as he felt Jaskier slip slightly, like a leg had given out. He leaned away some as the man pulled away, hissing. His eyes were watering some, and he had gripped Geralt more tightly. Geralt waited, concerned, for the man to speak or at least do something to indicate what had just happened. It had been small, all of it, but clearly the movement had caused Jaskier pain. Had the movement on his chest pulled on anything? Geralt's frown deepened.
The smile was sheepish and the man's eyes were glassy, but Geralt accepted it. Somewhat. He loosened his grip around the man's waist and brought a hand up to Jaskier's face. "No need," he muttered at the apology. "But we are moving." He wasn't taking protests. They had come in here to sleep, anyways.
He let go of Jaskier, taking a step back to duck and get an arm under the man's knees and under his back. He stood, now carrying Jaskier bridal style. He was careful to try and not let the man's chest touch his, keep Jaskier mostly facing the ceiling instead of him. He searched the man's face for any discomfort, then walked over to the bed. He deposited Jaskier on the far side, the side closest to the window and the bookshelf. Geralt walked back around the foot of the bed to take the other.
Julian POV
Jaskier smiled at Geralt, thankful to his response being so relaxed before nodding in agreement. They should be moving to bed as it is. He stood up properly and went to turn but was caught by Geralt bending down and- he was in the air? Geralt had picked him up. He blinked a couple of times out of being surprised, Did Geralt know that his chest didn't make his legs stop working? Well, supposedly. It just made his leg give out then but still. Jaskier had no complaints though, he just smiled and gave a light laugh at it.
He was silent, allowing for Geralt to do as he pleased and smiled when he got placed on the bed before watching Geralt move around to the other side of the bed. He wiggled a little, getting more comfortable into the bed. He probably would not be able to sleep like he normally did when he was with Geralt due to letting his chest breathe. It had hardened slightly though, not being as soft anymore. But he had not realized how tired his body was until now. He clenched his jaw, trying to hold back a yawn which surfaced itself anyways.
He could feel his heartbeat was still faster than normal, feel the slight blush on his cheeks from being carried which he only now just realized he had. Gods, he was starting to feel like a true princess. Well, he wasn't too far off. He was still technically a man with a title. His eyes followed Geralt as he moved around the bed and Jaskier gave a smile to him as he watched him lay down in his own time. Jaskier knew he could not go on his chest, nor could he go on his side. Geralt could possibly cuddle into him? There was no harm in asking was there?
"Darling, seeming I can't exactly roll over to you I was wondering if you wanted to, ya know, rollover to me tonight?" He asked. Suddenly he felt rather self-conscious of the words he was asking. Would it be too much for Geralt? They weren't a couple but they were something that's for sure.
Geralt POV
Geralt lay down on his side of the bed, the one closer to the middle of the room, and therefore the door. Even when he was the only one there, he preferred to be closer to the door. Easier to react to whatever came through it, that way. He kept a knife under the pillow, for easy access. There was another tucked between the mattress and the frame, should the first be disposed of.
He could feel how Jaskier was watching him. He seemed to be considering something, from what Geralt could tell.
The question caught him off guard, nearly. He was better trained than to be completely defenseless right now. Geralt frowned. He wasn't much of a cuddler. Sure, if other people decided to do it to him and he liked the person enough, he'd let them. But he didn't initiate it. Though, to be fair, Jaskier was only asking here because he couldn't do it himself. Geralt didn't blame the man for asking.
"Will it upset your wounds?" Was his reply. Because if he was to be copying Jaskier's position, then there would be pressure across the man's chest anyways, which could very well defeat the purpose of why he was the one doing the rolling over in the first place.
But Geralt moved over regardless, unsure of why he even was. He could have just.. offered to hold Jaskier's hand that night, or something. Why'd he choose to do this? Geralt shifted until his shoulder was brushing Jaskier's, legs and his hip doing the same. His arms he kept crossed over his chest. His head he turned to face Jaskier, Amber eyes searching for brilliant blue in the dimness.
Julian POV
Jaskier watched as Geralt moved towards his side of the bed with a small smile. He hummed at the question in thought before shaking his head. "as long as you don't rub up against it then it is fine. My knee buckled which made my chest rub against yours which is why it.. Stung a little before. I forget I am still recovering from blood loss and other activities." He said with a small chuckle. He tried to word it a bit more delicately seeming he knew Geralt probably had the guilts enough as it was. It was the man's job and he followed through with it. Which was more than Jaskier was going to be doing in London. For that, he was envious of Geralt.
He smiled slightly, feeling the contact of Geralt of his own body which made him visibly relax with a small smile still gracing his lips. He turned his head to look at Geralt and his gaze soften as he stared into his eyes. It was dim, but he swore to the Gods that his eyes glowed slightly or reflected or maybe they were so bright and picked up on the smallest bits of light because they were shining. Perhaps it was the moonlight they should be blaming everything on, not the helpless wine.
Geralt POV
Geralt nodded as best he did with his head against the bed. He might just end up staying where he was. Jaskier was still weak, and even if he wasn't, Geralt was still heavy. He knew the man was stronger than he looked, and his time as Irys had added muscle, but he was still bigger than Jaskier. Not much, but then, that brought him back to the blood loss and injuries.
He'd just being staying where he was, then. He was alright here, just watching Jaskier's eyes. The moonlight came in from the other side of the man, meaning Geralt was the more illuminated one. Particularly as he shifted onto his side with his bottom elbow under his head, and flat against the bed. But he could still see Jaskier's expression, even if it was hidden in shadow.
The man looked so damn soft right now. Geralt couldn't have said he liked it. That gaze could have been directed to a thousand people more worthy. A hundred thousand, maybe. But not Geralt.
"Don't look at me like that," he muttered finally, closing his eyes. He could just fall asleep, wake up before the dawn, and except for the bites, pretend none of this had happened.
It wasn't fair to Jaskier though, or to himself. Alright, maybe not pretend. The bite marks and the scent of cinnamon would linger. But he certainly didn't have to speak about it come morning. He was tired, that was all. Tired, and probably imagining how Jaskier was watching him. Just his mind and the moonlight making a mistake.
Julian POV
Jaskier smiled contently, watching as Geralt rolled over onto his side to face him. Gods, the man was gorgeous. No fair maiden could ever compete. Well, considering he only likes men that were obvious as it was but, if men were also counted as fair maidens, then still none would compete. Geralt's beauty made the world look dull in comparison if you even bother to compare it. The eyes, the hair, the lips, the jaw, the body as well. But most of allt that Jaskier loved was his mind. The way he cared, the way he was gentle.
The way he gave Jaskier small touches when he didn't have to and Jaskier in his past relationships had always been the one giving. Now it was less so because Geralt just gave it back to him in his own way. From an outsider's point of view, he did not know what it looked like. Seeming everyone kept calling them boyfriends, it was sort of obvious what people thought.
Jaskier's eyebrow raised to Geralt as he spoke. A confused but intrigued look coming across his face. He moved his hand that was closest to Geralt up ad allowed it to Gently stroke Geralt's cheek with his fingertips. Not the most romantic way to touch someone's face but seeing he could not roll over, iit would have to do. "Why can I not look at the person I care about the most with love in my eyes?" He asked softly. It was a proper question towards him, despite the poetic wording.
Geralt POV
Geralt snorted. "Don't do this, Jaskier." Don't play these games. Because Geralt was fully aware that he didn't deserve Jaskier. Did the man think him pure? Did he appreciate the protection? Because it was the only thing Geralt could give. He was incapable of love. Whatever Jaskier felt, or thought he felt, had to be false because who would love Geralt? Ciri didn't have a choice, and she would never truly be his. She was legally, but that hardly counted.
He ignored the man's hand on his face for a moment, then used his free hand to pin Jaskier's wrist down and hold it still, out of reach from his cheek. "You don't mean it, so don't say it." He warily let the hand go, keeping his own nearby in case Jaskier tried anything.
Did Geralt regret his time with Jaskier? No. No, he didn't. He couldn't find it in him to do so. But he was uneasy with it, for lack of a better word. That time was steadily undoing his emotional training, undoing what kept him alive and functioning. He disliked it. And it was covered in lies and words that were little more than meaningless. That didn't help Jaskier's case.
This wasn't a mistake, he told himself firmly. This wasn't. Renfri had been, but pushing Jaskier away wasn't. Geralt needed space and to collect himself. That was all. He was losing Jaskier anyways. Hardening his heart now would make the blow softer then.
Julian POV
Jaskier couldn't help but give a slight huff as he Geralt grabbed his wrist to get him to stop. He felt the stretch is made on his arm slightly but it was not enough to directly affect it. Jaskier stared at him the whole time before he turned around and grabbed Geralts wrist back, giving a slight gentle tug towards him so he didn't yank it and Geralt see it as a threat. "Look at me Geralt. I'm a fucked up person who's been through hell and about to put others through hell while I try to stop it. I have a week left here. Hell, six days after tonight. If I say I care, if I say that I love you. Then I love you. You do not get to decide my feeling, if you like them or not that's up to you. I know you don't like me that way, hell I could never dream of you loving me. But don't you care say that the words I say towards you are not true because they are. I love you. Fuck, Geralt, I'm in love with you. And you trying to change that just hurts." he said. He kept his voice low and quiet, not wanting to scare him away but he kept his voice clear and direct and with very obvious intention behind it.
Jaskier looked to Geralt still, there was a passion burning in his eyes towards Geralt as he spoke. He was not angry, no. He was upset but he was not angry. It took a lot to make him angry unless he was having an episode that had regrettably happened before. He gave a small smile to Geralt afterwards.
"I didn't ask to fall in love with you. It just happened. And if you want me to sleep on the couch after me saying this then I completely understand. And if you want me to go stay at a hotel or somewhere differant, then I will leave tomorrow and you'll never know I was here." he didn't know what was going on in Geralts mind after his little declination of love towards him. Well, it was not little. But it was probably all new information to Geralt. They'd known each other properly for like what? A week? And Geralt had his own stuff already happening in his mind and with Ciri and so forth.
Geralt POV
Jaskier's words stung more than Geralt thought the man knew. Frankly, Geralt could never dream of him loving Jaskier either. Not because of anything Jaskier had done, but simply because of what Geralt was. One of Witcher Corps's mutated freaks. Who would love someone like that? He minded what Jaskier had done and what he was about to do, but the man had had no choice. Geralt didn't blame him for that.
He could see how upset Jaskier was, how- not angry, but with eyes still burning. He didn't particularly want Jaskier to sleep on the couch, no.
And at this point? Whatever. He knew that Jaskier couldn't mean those words, those words spelling out his declaration of love for Geralt. The man was dangerous and an ex-client, and Geralt never should have gotten mixed up in this.
Suddenly, Jaskier's presence against his side felt suffocating. "Stay," he said calmly. "If you want." He wasn't going to force the man into anything. If Geralt had upset him enough that he really did want to leave, and asking if Geralt wanted him to was just a formality, then he wasn't going to make Jaskier stay by his side.
He moved back over to the spot he had been in at the start, rolling to his back again. Although, this time he was a bit closer to the edge of the bed. With a gap between him and Jaskier, it wasn't quite so suffocating. It was still hard to breathe, and it felt as if his mind was being pulled through cotton, but he felt better for the distance.
Geralt tucked a hand under his head, eyes open and looking up. Every time. Every fucking time. You'd think at some point, they'd have caught on. But every time they brought teeth to necks, it never ended well. Geralt stared up at the ceiling, the scent of cinnamon filling his lungs and threatening to burn them dry. He kept inhaling, though. "Do you want me to leave?" He asked the still air. The question was for Jaskier, though. If Geralt's pregame made the man uncomfortable, he didn't mind joining Roach on the couch.
Jaskier could have the bed. Geralt didn't really mind.
Julian POV
Jaskier listened to Geralt, watched his body language. He could tell he had made the man uncomfortable or at least was thinking of uncomfortable ideas in his head.
"No, stay. Its okay, I shouldn't have brung up the subject. It's my fault." he said quietly before he swallowed. The tears in his eyes stung. It wasn't because of the rejection. No, he was fine with that. He was afraid that he had just ruined whatever him and Geralt had between them. It was probably for the best but still it hurt. Deeply.
He wiggled down the bed slightly and turned on his side to face away from Geralt, mainly so it didn't show his face and the tears pricking at his eyes. If they fell, he didn't want Geralt to have to see them. He was confused, in pain. Physically now as well, he could feel it tugging and pulling at his stitches from being on his side. He blinked a couple of times, willing the salty tears in his eyes away but still, it didn't work. He could feel them threatening but he refused to let Geralt know that he was tearing up.
He moved it so his arms were lightly folded, it wouldn't add to the pain anymore than he was already in. Hell, this was hard just to not go ahead, make himself numb and pretend he didn't love him. What good is pretending? He was here, the whole reason he felt safe around Geralt was that he did not have to pretend. No, he wouldn't pretend but oh god it just hurt so bad. What if he didn't want him to talk to Ciri anymore? What if he didn't want to sleep next to him anymore? What if casual touches were now unwanted? Not that they were probably wanted in the first place.
He closed his eyes. Trying to get rid of the tears. He felt his heart sink lightly. Was this because of his mental health or was he actually feeling this? Was he in a dream or was this real? Suddenly he found himself wishing it all was, Geralt was a perfect man that Jaksier made up in his head. But he knew it was all real. And he was thankful that it was real.
Geralt POV
Geralt gave a quiet grunt, and stayed. "Not your fault," he said quietly, though he heard Jaskier turning away anyways. The faint tang of salt filled the air. Geralt tried to ignore it. He sensed that Jaskier wouldn't want any comments. And it was faint enough that it was easy to push aside.
The ceiling offered him few answers. He traced his eyes along the faint lines of the barely-there cracks, the way he usually did when he was home but had trouble sleeping. It, also as usual, did nothing to aid him. After several more moments, he sighed.
Geralt tried closing his eyes, but the tiny movements of his eyes behind his closed eyelids started to drive him made and give him a headache, so he opened them again. The moonlight washed over the room, some clouds lightly trailing around its source. Geralt supposed it would likely rain. It was too early in the year for snow in Posada. The mountains had been different.
Some part of him wished that he hadn't gone to the mountains. If he had just stayed home, he wouldn't have found Jaskier. The man would still be safe. Ciri.. if he had gotten Ciri to stay behind as well, then she'd have been safe as well. It would have been win-win, except for the fact that he still would have thought Jaskier dead. But that was a small price to pay compared to the shit they had gotten themselves into.
Geralt half wanted to apologise. But this was neither the time, not the place. He could wait until morning, and see if that helped to clear anything between them. They could both use the sleep, if it would come.
Julian POV
Jaskier kept his eyes closed for a total of twenty minutes, nothing was working to try and get him to sleep and his chest desperately ached now thathe had stayed in the position for so long. He gave a sigh. No tears fell, nor did they spill over but his eyes were wet and had stayed wet the whole time.
"Are you still awake?" he asked softly into the air. It was aimed towards Geralt, but he felt he might be invading by asking him if he was. Either way he continued.
"I'll be back in a bit." he said softly to Geralt before sitting up carefully. He swung his legs over the bed and sat up, feeling the relief on his chest nearly made him want to vomit. Okay, he didn't realise how badly that was actually hurting him. He was a idiot, in more ways then one right now.
He needed to go get some fresh air. Go for a walk or talk to Roach or something of the like. He just needed to let Geralt have some space. And needed himself a space to fucking cry because he refused to do it in front of Geralt. It would not help anything but all the emotions were hitting him at the moment. He could feel how scared he was to actually go back to London. He was fucking terrified and he didn't want to leave. He didn't want to go. He didn't want to leave Ciri or Geralt and when Ciri cried in the shop it just made him want to ball his eyes out but he had to be the stronger one then. Christ he was a mess.
He looked to the door as he sat up but instead, he waited for some sort of response from Geralt. If it was his deep death from when he slept or a noise the. He wouldn't mind. He just needed something first to know that he was still here seeming he knew if he looked to him then he would start crying without wanting to. Christ, he really did fuck everything up didn't he?