*** I've been trying to make sure that this is an extra good chapter because it's CHAPTER FIFTY!!! I hope you guys enjoy it! ***
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four days later, I was being wheeled to Demi's room. I didn't like the wheelchair at all - the seat was scratchy and the back was too stiff - but it was the only way I could get around now for the next month or so. it was the first time I'd see Demi since the accident, and I was scared. scared of how she'd react to me, scared that she'd blame me completely and never want to see me again. I was the reason that we'd been in the crash in the first place, the reason she was in hospital, the reason that she had to halt album production and cancel the rest of the tour.
some of the Lovatics pretty much hated me with all of their soul by now. most of my twitter mentions were hate. people thought that I had deliberately run away back to my hometown to find my family because I was ungrateful for Demi/wanted attention/wanted to pull a publicity stunt. some people thought that I didn't want to be in the industry and wanted to run back to Uniondale to resume my normal life, so they thought that Brooke should've won The X Factor.
I hadn't heard from Brooke and Marie in ages. I missed them, and I wondered how they were. I knew that Brooke had released some stuff and I heard it, but it was a bit foggy because I hadn't listened properly. feeling a twinge of regret, I made a mental note to contact them sometime soon.
Nurse Bri knocked on Demi's door and another nurse opened, then helped to push me in.
as soon as Demi saw me, her face lit up, biting her lip to try to contain her smile. she held out her arms, and Nurse Bri helped me out of the wheelchair and to sit on Demi's bed. wordlessly, Demi leant forward and wrapped me in a tight hug. neither of us said anything as I began to cry softly, realizing fully now how much Demi meant to me. sure, we'd had our little spats and the whole thing last year with the mutual ignoring that literally turned into a competition of who could send the most vicious indirects, but sometimes I took her for granted, which shocked me. I never thought that I'd ever take Demi for granted since she had always been so special to me, but as the thought fully processed, I sobbed into Demi's shoulder. I remembered the first time, at the X Factor stage, when she sat on the edge of the stage next to me as I told her my story. I remembered her holding me close as I woke up screaming from another nightmare, and her stumbling sleepily to the kitchen to make me a warm glass of milk just so I could fall asleep easier. I remembered her stopping a conversation with her manager just to calm me down and run the tub for me. I remembered all the love and care and compassion that she had shown me and those nights that we lay on the floor of her room in LA and talked about anything and everything.
we hadn't had those nights in ages.
shaking from the crying, I pulled back, surprised, when I felt my shoulder getting wet. I struggled to wipe away my tears with my right hand, and bursting into fresh sobs upon seeing the tears race down Demi's cheeks.
"D-Demi," I sobbed.
"shh, baby girl," Demi said, her voice wobbling violently as she reached out to wipe my cheeks, ignoring her own. "I got you. we're safe now, my love. it's going to be okay."
I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, and turned to see Nurse Bri handing me some tissues. "Nurse Emma and I will be right outside, darling," she said softly. "just press that button on the monitor if you need us, okay?"
accepting the tissues gratefully, I nodded. when the two nurses left, I turned back to Demi.
"I'm sorry!" I blurted out, tears springing to my eyes again.
"no, no, no, baby, why are you sorry?" Demi pulled me towards her carefully, shuffling over so I could sit next to her comfortably.
I stared at her. "don't you blame me?"
Demi stared back. "for what?"
"the accident."
Demi's mouth fell open. "of course not! why would I?"
"because it's my fault. it's my fault that you had to come and get me from Uniondale and if you hadn't come we wouldn't have been speeding down the highway and we wouldn't have cras-"
"Lea, no. no no no no no. none of this is your fault. I know that you've been online recently - Maddie came and confessed to me all guilty for letting you use her phone - but do they know about what happened? they don't. they're assuming things based on what little information they have. it's not true, Lea. it wasn't your fault. none of this was. did you want to be taken?" I shook my head. "didn't think so. did you want to be involved in a high speed chase down the highway? no. did you want to be in hospital? no! you didn't plan any of it, Lea. that's why it's called an accident - it was accidental."
"but-"
"no 'but's, sweetie. it's not your fault, and you don't deserve any of this. you don't deserve the injuries you got, and you don't deserve to die."
how did she know? "how d-"
"I know you, Lea. I know you like the back of my hand. I know what you're thinking, and I know that you're upset about this."
"oh." I toyed with the comforter, rubbing the edges of it between my thumb and forefinger.
it was quiet for a while as I snuggled into Demi's side and closed my eyes.
---
I woke up, feeling more comfortable than I had in a long time. Demi was cuddled next to me, and when she saw that I was awake, she pretended to fall asleep again. [picture on side]
I touched her nose lightly, and she opened her eyes, smiling widely.
"slept well?" she asked.
I nodded. "much better than I have in a long time."
she reached to touch my head bandage gently. "I've missed you, Lea."
"I've missed you too, Demi."
Demi kissed my cheek lightly. "you're safe now. I'm never letting you go."
"you better not," I joked as Demi laughed.
Nurse Emma opened the door slowly.
"hello," Demi said.
"hello, Demi," Nurse Emma replied kindly. "you two have a visitor."
she stepped aside, and a tall, slim figure came into view.
"NAYA!" I shrieked.
Demi's hand flew to her mouth as she struggled to sit up. I straightened my back and helped Demi up, and Naya came to our bedside.
"LEA!" Naya reciprocated in the same tone I had used, then gave me a gentle hug, making sure that she wasn't squeezing any wounds. then she leant above me to give Demi a kiss, and I ducked under them.
when they broke the kiss, both Demi and Naya's eyes shone brightly, and all of our faces held the same glow.
"babe," Demi breathed as she closed her eyes. "oh, god. I've missed the both of you so incredibly much. three days when I was the only one conscious? that was a nightmare."
Naya smiled, a little sadly. "I know, darling. I know."
"y-you're not in hospital clothes," I pointed out.
Naya winked. "surprise!"
Demi cocked her head to the side, clearly confused. I tried to furrow my brow, then winced when I remembered about my head wound.
"I'm discharged!" Naya told us, dancing on the spot. "my concussion cleared up faster than expected, and the blood transplant went really well!"
we were silent for a moment, processing the information, before we reacted.
laughing, crying and hugging, the three of us embraced. as I was squashed in between a Daya hug, I closed my eyes and promised myself that I'd never, ever, take the three of us for granted.
---
by the end of that evening, we had established that Naya was indeed well enough to be discharged, Demi was well enough to walk around but needed to be kept for three days more to be monitored, and I couldn't walk but was otherwise fine. I, too, needed to be monitored for a couple of days more.
we decided that Naya was to stay one more night here, then tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn Max would come to drive her back to her apartment. since the hospital we were in was nearer to New York City than it was to Uniondale, it only seemed logical.
it was already December by now, and it seemed like we would be able to go back to Texas in time for Christmas, which sent Demi and I into hysterics when we heard this, because Demi thought that we wouldn't make it there in time. it absolutely devasted her because she loves Christmas (remember last year? yeah. that.) but to hear that we'd make it back there in time made the both of us so happy. and then when Dianna and Eddie invited Naya, she was in excited hysterics too.
I sat in my bed, alone, while Demi and Naya spent some time together (presumably making out) in Demi's room.
I had something I needed to do that I hadn't done, although I really should have.
I dialed the number off by heart on the keypad on Demi's phone, and waited for the call to be picked up. I glanced at the clock - 9:30pm - and waited, tracing circles on the white comforter, feeling the soft fabric tickle my fingertip.
"hello?" a familiar raspy voice answered as soon as the click signalled that my call had gone through.
"Lauren," I breathed, feeling the overwhelming surge of emotion rise up inside me again.
"Lea?" she asked cautiously.
"yeah," I whispered. "that's me."
"oh my god," Lauren said, before I heard her muffled crying over the speaker.
"no," I said. "don't cry, Lolo. I-I'm here."
sobbing, Lauren returned to the phone again. "Lea, oh my god, I'm so, so glad you're okay. I've been so worried. I've missed you so much. how are you? is everything okay? when did you wake up? Demi and Naya alright?"
feeling my throat clog up, I sniffled before telling her everything that happened ever since I woke up, and explaining why it took me so long to call her. "I needed some time to just lie there and stare at the ceiling and slow down, you know?"
"no, no, I get it, Lea, you've been so busy these past few months. I know it's not my place to judge but it was truly 0-100 real quick. you had your youtube going on, then the web show, recording, filming, and to top it all off, school. just promise me to take some time for yourself, okay?"
I agreed, then got her to tell me everything the girls had been doing. I had, unfortunately, missed their UK X Factor performance, but hadn't missed their album due to them pushing back (again). we talked for about two hours before Lauren gave me the other girls' numbers to call since my phone was smashed and they were all back home for the holidays before they were going to perform on the Pitball NYE special, which I would be able to see. she played me their new song that was going to be released in January, Worth It, and we talked about Reflection for a while before Nurse Bri came in to tell me that it was time for bed. reluctantly, we hung up, and I gave Nurse Bri the phone to give back to Demi.
"listen, cherub," she said quietly, bending down and helping to tuck me in. "I'm probably, actually definitely not supposed to tell you this, but either tomorrow or the day after Demi's going to talk to you about something big. regarding... you, and your family." she glanced at the door which was slightly open, then lowered her voice even more. "I'm not trying to scare you, no, but just a heads up, okay?"
my eyes widened. I flashed back to the day in the studio when my mother told me to come with her.
she raised her eyebrows. "and what if I told you what I said about your sister wasn't true?"
"what do you mean?" I asked, confused. she said she liked Katelyn better, but now was she said that she was lying?
"you'll find out when you come."
I nodded, mute.
"don't worry, Lea. we're all here in your best interests."
"thanks, Nurse Bri," I said, lying down and drawing the comforter up to my chin.
"goodnight, Lea."
"'night."
when she left the room, turning the light off, I stared up at the white ceiling and listened to the faint, barely audible ticking of the clock and the deadpan beep of the heart monitor that I had gotten used to.
what did my mom mean? I had somehow managed to forget that, I had somehow forgotten about her statement. I rubbed my eyes, then turned on my left side and stared at the wall.
well, I couldn't do anything about it. thanks to Demi, I now believed that everything happens for a reason. nothing is coincidental, and when something's meant to happen, it will.
so that meant that if Katelyn had passed, or if she was still alive in this world, which suddenly seemed sickeningly possible, there was a reason for it.
but if yes, why had my mother lied?
and why was it a secret?
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A/N:
GUYS. it's mY BIRTHDAY!!
15 doesn't feel much different from 14 tbh
edit 2018: i'm 18 now and i feel the goddamn same
anyway, I hope that you guys like the chapter, and I'm so sorry for that horrible unexpected lack of updating. I was stuck on a terrible writer's block for a while, as well as a complete zero of time/motivation/energy. but I have a bunch of ideas now, so I'm just going to try to keep writing.
I feel like this chapter's like a milestone, like 50 chapters. or it could just be me being overly stupidly sentimental about everything.
I promise to update as soon as I can. the story should be picking up faster now!
and we're nearly at 100K reads. HOW COOL IS THAT?
xoxo
(p.s. am I the only one who watches danisnotonfire/amazingphil/phil is not on fire in unhealthy amounts)
edit 2018: jfc i still do this