Yoon Jin Ah POV
For the past three days, Yoo Jin Woo has been staying with me in my apartment. He works from my flat, and refuses to leave me, said until he's sure that I can firmly grip on a thing with my right hand. What he does mostly is about taking care of me, and I feel so loved, so protected. When he's not online to meet with people for business, we spend our time together, mending what has lost during the past six weeks. Relax walking in the park, grocery trip, helping me cook, watching movies, or lazy cuddling.
I've been trying to draw his attention back since he rejected my little stunt under the shower when I decided to take off my top. He was surprised, but the joke was on me. He did drool on me, of course, but though I was anticipating his mouth ravaging, he didn't even touch me there. Even more, he asked me to turn my back so he can continue helping me to bathe without distraction. Leaving me in confusion, shame, and desperation.
Before that day, whenever we were making out, not even once he would not initiate to take me further, he would. Started from lightly touching, kneading my curves, until aggressively slipping his hand under my garments. He didn't put any force, but persistently crippling my defense day by day. The last time we did it, he begged to see me, asking permission to unhook when his hand was teasing my back. But I wasn't ready, and I said no.
Six weeks of no communication gave me time to think about us. What's wrong with us? Why he wants my physical presence so bad? that is shown by his impatience for us living together and how he encourages me to get physical, as that's his language to love. It confuses me. Does he love me, or does he only want my body? from being so smitten falling in love, I get reluctant to get married.
But look at Se Ri, and how she always sees physical intimacy as an integral part of the romantic relationship between adults. Maybe not her best decision to hook up with Jeong Hyeok without protection but lucky her, he is Ri Jeong Hyeok, what else she could hope for from a man?
Once she said, "it's either from me, or my man will get some sex from other women. I don't want another woman to know how to please my man better than me. It has to be me, and only me."
So I decided to call her.
"Jin Ah! How are you? Switch to video call, switch!"
"Is it necessary? I just want to have a brief talk. Are you busy?"
"Am not. I'm just bored. I'm at Incheon right now, going to fly to Zürich. Don't tell Jeong Hyeok! It's a surprise visit. How is your hand? Are you sure you don't need me and Dad to come?"
"I'm better today, it's recovering well. How are my little Jeong Hyeok and little Se Ri?"
"They're craving for food! I'm starting to worry about how many pounds they will leave me once I pop them out of me? My God, I didn't think that I would be hungry all the time!"
"I've sent some recipes to our maid at home so you can eat healthy delicious food. Do you like it?"
"Honestly, even Dad agrees, our home-cooked meal tastes better when you're still here and control the kitchen. We hire a chef now but chef Jin Ah is our favorite! Anyway accept my video call request!" she demands.
Reluctantly I press accept to her video call request and as I predict, she immediately teases me about, "says who, that Se Ri is flirty among the Yoon twins? It's Jin Ah! My God, Jin Ah! Look at that voluptuous body you hide under your dresses. No wonder Jin Woo can't keep his hands off you."
I feel my cheeks get hot from her comment. I quickly get up from my couch and move into my bedroom and close the door, leaving Jin Woo who's playing games on his phone in the living room.
I cover my chest with the first thing I can reach with my hand, that happens to be Jin Woo's hoodie, and back to Se Ri.
"Whatever you're clutching, it must be Jin Woo's isn't it? So how was it? Amazing, or amazing?" she squeezes her eye flaunts her teasing smile.
"What are you talking about?" actually I know where she's heading, but too ashamed to admit that I know.
"Makeup sex!"
"Se Ri, you know I don't do such things!"
"What such things? Oh please, you two are engaged. I wouldn't even surprise, Jin Ah. If you don't want to do it then why are you wearing sexy chemise when he's with you?"
"I'm considering it, Se Ri. I'm not sure, is that necessary?"
"That's for you to answer, Jin Ah. You know yourself better, and he is your man to take care of. But anything, don't if you don't feel like to, okay? You have no obligation to do it."
"How was it suppose to be, Se Ri?"
"What do you mean?"
"I feel like sexual intercourse is a... What's the correct word? I don't even talk about it with anyone."
"Taboo? Oh, dear Grandma. Jin Ah, you're still into him, are you? Or are you thinking about shifting to another preference?"
"Se Ri..."
"I'm just asking! All this time would be such a waste if deep down, the most basic thing of all, is you have a different preference! Chill... Sex is supposed to be good, it's a way of expressing your love and care for him, and works the same for you, it will bound you and him."
"Would it be hurt?"
"Might be a little uncomfortable for you at the very first time, just communicate it to him. I can see that he loves you so much, Jin Ah, and I'm surprised until today you remain a virgin, after everything that you've been through. I didn't think that he'd be this patient. But I admit Yoo Jin Woo is a very persistent man. Didn't you feel hot when you two making out? Like horny, perhaps? It's an instinct Jin Ah."
"I don't know what to do first!"
"Play some tease as a starter, do enough foreplay, you know what I mean. Just communicate it to him. He won't blow his chance by forcing something on you. He will guide you. Fix your trust issue, once again, communicate! You have to be able to trust him before you decided to level up your relationship."
"Se Ri I know nothing about foreplay! I read some in magazines but I was too ashamed for just thinking about it."
"What? Seriously what did you do all this time when you get hot?"
"I...shoo it away. It's a dirty mind. Inappropriate."
"Holysh- now I feel like a super sinful. Whatever. Jin Ah, look at what you're wearing. If that's on yourself, that you want him to see your sexy side by wearing it, that's a sign that maybe, you're ready to take things there. Communicate, Jin Ah. Men aren't us, they don't read minds and they're too dumb to take the cue, okay?"
"Okay. Okay. Thank you, Se Ri. Is everything alright with you?"
"I am. It's just that suddenly I feel like I need to check on my husband. Make sure that he's good, you know, he's my husband and if he needs to be taken care of something, that's my business, not others."
"Wait....what? Do you think that he cheats? No no no, Jeong Hyeok is a very nice man, impossible!"
"Not yet. But I'm afraid that he gives other women the wrong messages, blame him for being always nice to everyone."
"Oh, okay. Well, indeed he's nice, to his students at least, I met some of them and mistakenly thought as you. He has groupies!"
"At this thing, Jin Woo is better than him, he doesn't simply act nice to anyone, he flirts only with his woman, you. But Jeong Hyeok... he may not mean to flirt but women get easily flattered by his acts, and he doesn't seem to realize that he's a husband now so he needs to put some restrain!"
I chuckle. "You're funny when you're jealous, Se Ri! Well, good luck!"
Suddenly the bedroom door is opened. Jin Woo creases his eyebrow looking at me doing a video call.
"It's Se Ri," I tell him.
"Jin Ah, talk to you later!" she notices that Jin Woo has just got into the room, and squeals in excitement.
"Do you need something, baby?" I ask.
"No, but I just remember isn't today the time to wash your hair, baby?"
"Yes, why?" I pretend to be clueless about what he's implying.
"Nothing," unlike the usual Jin Woo, he looks nervous. "When I'm not around, you don't wear this kind of cloth, do you?" he stares at me.
"Why? You don't like it? It's a woman sleepwear."
"I don't like if other men can see you in this, you've been wearing a very much different kind of outfit compared to when you stayed with me in London."
"You noticed? Well, what do you think about my latest outfit selections?"
"Provocative. You have no idea what you have caused me. I took more cold showers in a day more than I have ever."
Half chuckling, I pat the empty side of the bed beside me. "come here."
Wasting no second, immediately he lays down beside me and pulls me closer. I lean down to kiss, just to kiss, but Jin Woo pulls me even closer and whispers in my ear, "sit here on my lap."
I straddle on him, bite my lips and question his unusual gaze on me, "what? Is something wrong?"
"No. You're so beautiful," Jin Woo tucks some hair behind my ear, and slowly his hand goes down to my shoulder, where the strap of my chemise was.
He doesn't say any word after that but his eyes speak so much more. Lust. He plays with the strap, running his fingers along. I pay attention to his handsome face looks with his boyish grin and think, how lucky I am. Looks aren't everything but until today my heart still flutters whenever he smiles at me, that just simply double his attractive appearance. Handsome face, broad shoulders, toned muscles, cocky dimple smile. Oh, God.
He tugs the strap and lifts it a bit. As if I know what's on his mind, I nod. He pulls it down. Down, so slowly, the fabric that covers the top part of my bosom slowly follows its strap down. He stops just right above the peak, doesn't dare to for more.
Strangely, I want him to pull it down a bit more. He has seen me anyway, two days ago in the bathroom. Why does he stop?
Jin Woo shifts his position to sit and lean on the headboard. I adjust my position on his lap and take the initiative to kiss him. I plant the lightest one and gradually escalate it to open mouth kisses. With him, I have learned how to kiss the way he loves it.
That feeling you get when you hear your man groans lightly between your kisses. As expected, his other hand reach my hips. I'm waiting for his hand to move on where he loves my curves the most, but it stays still on my hips.
Something isn't right. Is he trying to hold himself? I take more initiative to kiss him even more feverishly. Caging his head and nape with my hands, I go all the way to draw him in. I even can't help myself to plant kisses on his jaw, earlobe, and neck, just like how he always does to me. Using my left hand, I pull his tee up, trying to get him out of it. I do what he did to me.
Finally, he tosses his tee on the floor, and I trail my hand on his chest. Hearing him moan, is like a reward to me, and how his breath turns heavier gets me turned on. I pull back to meet his gaze, waiting for his wild side to take me in.
It takes all of me not to pull down my top for him because it's got to be him who peels me off. I want to once again feel his desire for me. I'm waiting for his hand to get all over me so I can feel how much he wants me as if I'm the most beautiful girl in the world. I put my hand on his chest. But he just stares at me.
"Baby," I gaze at him, "please?" I beg. I hold his wrist with my right hand and put it on my chest. I forget that it's still hurt, but I can care less.
What comes next hits me off like a hard slap.
He takes his phone from the nightstand next to the bed, checking on the screen, which showed a lot of notifications, and says,
"Jin Ah, love, I need to call someone from my office..and I forget that I have to lead a very important meeting in 10 minutes, I haven't checked the material yet. I...I'm sorry, I really am. It won't take long, one hour should be enough. I'll help you wash your hair later. Okay?"
What? Another rejection? I'm done.
I get off from his lap and fix my top. He leans on to kiss my lips but I turn my face away. Freezing for a second, he tucks my hair that covers my cheek to my ear and kisses my cheek. So soft, he stays still for a few seconds and plants another one on my temple before he leaving me alone in my room.
He looks guilty, but I'm devastatingly ashamed. How dare he did that?
I change my clothes to one that easy to wear, a knee-length dress, and wear my coat. Grabbing my purse and phone, I step out of my room and see Jin Woo sitting on the dining table with a laptop on I can see pictures of people on the screen. He doesn't lie about the meeting though, but that doesn't make me feel any better. Not in the mood to talk and to avoid awkward moments seen by his employees, I silently wear my flats on and slip out of my flat. Quickly I make my way to the elevator and step in.
Leaning on the elevator wall, I close my eyes and let out a heavy sigh.
"Which floor, girl? Ground floor?" a male voice startles me.
"Yes, please," I nod awkwardly to him.
I've been noticing his presence near my flat, so I assume that he also lives in the same building as me.
"Tough day?" He asks.
"Yep."
"You're Korean, aren't you? Me too. Where are you going?"
"Yep. Somewhere not far from here."
"Well, looks like my timing isn't right. Well, see you around, neighbor, " he smiles.
We step out of the elevator and I quickly make my way out through the main entrance. The rain has just started. Crap. I don't have any umbrella right now, and I don't feel like going back up to collect it.
"Where are you heading at? Wanna share? My umbrella is quite large," that guy from the elevator again. Reading my hesitation, he adds,
"Relax, I'm just offering to share my umbrella. I'm heading south to the bodega."
"Beauty salon, next to the bodega."
"Okay. Need hairdo? Your hair might get damp again when you get back. Or do you want me to get come and get you back later?"
No. This guy is hitting on me.
"No need to. My fiance will pick me up, but thank you for this," I smile a little and I give him a hint that I'm taken.
"No problem, " he coyly answers. "Yoon Jin Ah, isn't it? Your name."
"How do you know?" now I'm scared, because I never introduce myself to anyone other than my course mates, and he's not in my class.
"How can I not know? Not much Korean here, let alone the very pretty one."
Creepy! who's him? All I know about him is just a Korean guy, from his accent, he must be from Seoul and lives in my building. The fact that he knows my name has made me uncomfortable. Now I only want Jin Woo next to me. Not this guy.
I don't have many male friends, and I'm not used to random guys hitting on me like this. The only stranger who didn't scare me yet gave me some sense of comfort from the very beginning was only Jin Woo, back when we just starting to know each other six months ago.
Fortunately, my destination is only a few meters more. I don't even bother to ask his name, I just want to arrive and step into the salon.
"Thank you, Sir," without looking at his eyes, I nod and turn around to get inside the salon.
Around ten minutes later, still having my hair washed, Jin Woo calls my cellphone. Suddenly the hurt feeling from being rejected washes over me again. I ignore his call and divert my mind to other things.
"Where were you? Where is your phone?" Jin Woo gets mad the moment I arrive at my flat.
"Get my hair washed," I answer nonchalantly.
"Why you didn't pick my call?"
"I don't want you to come and get me. I need some time alone," I soften my tone.
"What is wrong with you? I thought you want me to get your hair washed."
"Yeah. Sorry, beauty salon can help me," I turn to my room.
He follows me in, "Jin Ah. Are you mad at me?" His tone is no longer tense.
"I'm tired, Jin Woo."
He doesn't say anything else but joins me on the bed. I can't kick him out, because I want him here with me, but too ashamed to admit it.
"Your hair smells good," He sniffs from behind me. "Jin Ah. Talk to me."
"I told you I'm tired."
"At least take off your coat before bed. Let me help you."
My God. I'm too emotional until I forget to take it off. I get up and Jin Woo pulls it off from behind me. Then I feel his kiss on my shoulder, right between my neck and the neckline of my dress.
"Stop it, Jin Woo. Don't kiss me. Don't. Not after you rejected me like that! You're confusing me," I almost cry.
"I'm sorry. I'm so stupid. But honestly, Jin Ah. I need to ask you, I need to be assured, that you know what you're doing."
"What do you mean? I have no experience at all, Jin Woo, but I know the difference between wanted and rejected. Oh God, why do I even tell you? I'm confused, Jin Woo! Before you came here, that's what you wanted. Now, I...I was going to give it a try but you're reluctant! Am I that undesirable for you, Jin Woo? You don't want me anymore?"
"What? That's impossible!"
"What do you think I've tried to suggest to you? I wore those skimpy clothes, I...took off my top, I even begged you!"
"I forgot a me-"
"I know! I know! But you're the boss! They will wait for you!"
"That isn't professional-"
"Yeah. Right. Bad timing. I'm screwed."
Jin Woo holds me from behind and I exhale, long exhale. It's so comfortable to be wrapped around his arms. He often tells me that he likes when we hold to each other because it gives him some sense of calm. I guess the feeling is mutual right now.
"You're the most beautiful woman, Jin Ah. It's impossible for me to not wanting you. You're the hottest, the sexiest, and you're my fiancee. You have no idea how annoying to take cold showers back to back in a day just because you're here with me, looking damn hot. Do you really want it, Jin Ah?"
"I'm curious, Jin Woo. Things have changed while we're apart. I want to know more, about.....that."
He turns both him and my body so we're facing each other.
"About what?" he asks.
"Don't pretend like you don't know."
"I just want it to be clear. The last thing I want is disappointing you, Jin Ah. You're too precious. I held myself because I... I was surprised, and I wasn't sure that you want your first time that way, " he stares at me wistfully.
"As long as it's with you. I want it to be with you. I'm nervous, Jin Woo, I have no experience at all! But...I want to know how to please my man."
What did I just say? Oh damn. No take-backs and no turning back. I'm a hot mess and no one can help me with this but him.
"Jin Ah, " he strokes my cheek, "would you let me have the honor to guide you?"
"Yes. Yes, please."