"...you don't know what it's like" Harry had just finished talking about what it's like to experience the dark arts in real life. Hermione had read my letter from Sirius and organised everyone to be at the Hog's Head the very next day. No one really wanted to be there, some there because Hermione made them, some because they wanted to find out what happened to Cedric and some to support Harry. I didn't know which category I fit into.
"You're right Harry, we don't, that's why we need your help. Because if we're going to have any chance of beating....Voldemort", Hermione paused, barely able to say his name.
"He's really back?" A small first year asked.
Harry nodded and everyone stayed silent, no one knowing what to feel. Fear, sadness and determination flowed through the room as we all stood, wrapped in our warmest clothes as the winter air bit our noses.
"I'm in" I raised my hand and looked at Harry, who shot me a grateful smile. "Brilliant."
The sign up sheet was soon full and the first task was to find a place to practise our spells. As we walked back to the cattle Harry hung back from the group to wait for me. As I pulled my scarf tighter around my neck he said "hey, I think we need to talk."
"Yeah me too" I placed my hands in my pockets and we walked slowly, neither of us knowing where to start.
"Tori I'm sorry, I just have a lot going on and I'm stressed and I keep taking it out on you, it's not fair"
"No it's not fair, you're not the only one with things going on Harry"
"I know that now, I know you probably feel really sad about your dad and I wish I knew what to say. I really do"
Harry's been through this, we related to each other about both having dead parents. The only person in the world I thought would understand and I received more comfort from Draco than my own boyfriend?
"Sometimes you don't need words, just a hug would do" Harry awkwardly swung his arm around my shoulders at hearing this.
"I'm sorry about the whole Malfoy thing too"
"He's my friend Harry, I know you and him aren't exactly best buds but he looks out for me, he's got his own stuff going on too", it's strange, even though Harry and Draco hate each other, I can't help but care about the boy, like he has some hold of me that I just can't shake. Surely it's just a friendship kind of caring feel that I have for him?
"I just, I guess I'm just scared. Of everything. Having to lead an army, having to fight, and losing you."
"You shouldn't be worried about losing me because you won't. You don't have to protect me Harry, I can look after myself."
"But isn't-isn't that my job?"
"What?"
"To protect you. I don't know I've never had a girlfriend before, I don't really know what I'm doing."
"You don't need to wrap me in bubblewrap and treat me like a baby. Besides, Sirius told me I'm on my way to being one of the most powerful witches of my generation" I flipped my hair over my shoulders dramatically, earning a small giggle from Harry.
"Ah well I can see that. Let's put you to good use in that army then shall we?" Harry smiled down at me and I placed a small kiss on his lips.
"Well I guess one good thing came from today" Hermione said as we caught up with the group.
"What?"
"You two can't take your eyes off of each other."
~
"EXPELLIARMUS" I screamed at the dummy, knocking it's fake wand clean out of its hand.
"Excellent Tori!" Harry said, smiling from ear to ear.
Dumbledore's army was officially a thing now, and Neville had stumbled across the room of requirement, a room that changes to give you what you need, and we were now practicing every evening.
In order to keep the army a secret we were keeping our heads down in lessons, doing everything the teachers told us, with no arguments. We had no time for detentions. I also found myself avoiding Draco more often, I didn't want to lie to him, or have him become suspicious and tell someone about anything, but more often than not I found my eyes looking for him in crowded rooms, and his seemed to be doing the same.
That day after practice I headed out on a walk as I couldn't sleep, and found myself standing at the top of the astronomy tower, almost as if my legs had taken me up there by themselves. He was there. Sat, staring out at the world below.
"Shouldn't you be in bed Belle" he said, not even turning his head to look at me.
"How did you know it was me?"
"You're a heavy breather you know, can hear you coming from a mile away."
He patted the spot next to him and I sat down, his glimmering grey eyes meeting my icy blue ones.
"So what brings you here this fine evening?" He asked, smirking slightly.
"What makes it fine? I couldn't sleep, walks always help to me."
"It's fine because you're here. You've been distant lately, where have you been? Is everything ok with potter?"
"I've just had a lot of studying for the OWLs to do, Harry's fine, we don't really spend that much time together but we're both busy."
"Like you need to study, you could pass those exams in your sleep. Unlike me, potions is still ridiculously hard. Potter being busy? Probably up to something."
I paused for a moment. "Well, maybe I could help you, like I used to."
"And we both know how that ended Belle." His eyes suddenly filled with hunger and I felt butterflies deep in my stomach.
"Well just control yourself and we'll be fine."
He came closer to me, every second he moved closer to my face, until our foreheads were pressed together and our lips were just inches apart.
"And you, can you control yourself?" He asked, our foreheads still together.
"Yes."
"I don't believe you."
"Draco we can't."
"I know, but I can't help it."
I pulled back, feeling guilt rush through my body and saw a flash of sadness in Draco's face.
"Do you love him?" He asked.
"Yes."
"I asked you that question a while back remember? You hesitated once again."
"He needs me right now. Maybe if things were different..." I trailed off.
"God I hope things were different."