Double update because it's the season of giving :) and I love you guys!
***
Ana didn't look too happy when her eyes landed on my face and she gave me a disapproving look. I'm sure I look like shit from crying so much.
I could tell she wanted to say something but she held her tongue all the way to the kitchen were my mum and Temi were deep in a conversation.
"Mum what are you doing here?" I heard her leave the house not less than two hours ago so seeing her here is really shocking.
"So I can't be inside my own house again? E gba mi oo," (help me oo) mum looked at me like I just fell from the sky.
"No mum it's not like that," I laughed. "I'm just surprised to see you here so early that's all."
"I didn't have much work to do in the office so I had to come back," she explained and I nodded. "Also call your friends over for lunch next week."
"Okay," at least that's something I'm excited about.
Sometime while eating my mum spoke up, her fork clattering on the plate.
"Victoria what's going on with you and Andrew. Why are you guys fighting again? I thought you had settled," her face held concern.
I looked at Ana and she gave me an encouraging smile. I'm not telling mum what happened at least not now. If I do now, she'll kill Andrew in seconds.
I gave a fake smile, "mum it's nothing to worry yourself about,"
"Well I'm worried, if it's something you need me to beat his ass for I will," she was serious.
I chuckled dryly, "mum it's alright. We'll sort it out soon." I lied for her sake. I'm not getting back with Andrew.
She dropped it after that and when we were done I went upstairs and called Adrian, Funke, James and Maya for the lunch mum talked about next week, they said they'd come. I sent a text to Andrew and he replied that he'd be there.
The rest of the week ran fast, on Sunday morning we all went to church and that kind of lifted my spirit a little despite the fact that Andrew was there, I totally ignored him talking to my old friends I hadn't seen in a while.
On Monday the entire Ezzeh household came over to my house and we had dinner. It was nice seeing Grace and Michael again, Michael had grown so much now and he still wouldn't stop sneaking into my closet to steal my sneakers.
When he was younger he always eyed my sneakers and now that we're using the same size he must find away to sneak into my room to see if I'd added a new one to the collection.
This time around he took a new pair of Nikes I got while on campus. I haven't worn it much so he took it. I don't know why he enjoys taking mine when he can just ask his parents to get him one if he wants one badly.
Grace was still single but she was telling me and Ana about some new guy that works in the company and it looks like he's interested in her. He's a hot piece of cake I must say.
No matter how many times Andrew tried to talk to me I found a way to ignore him until they all left that night.
The next morning Andrew sent me texts apologizing but I ignored all of them. The next day was the lunch with my friends and I was excited to see them again even though it's been barely two weeks.
Andrew was the first to come and when I opened the door for him he tried to talk to me but Ana came over, stopping him.
James and Maya came next looking really good together. We all sat at the table, two seats beside me left for Funke and Adrian, Andrew was to my other side closer to my dad at the other end of the table.
Opposite Adrian and Funke's empty seat was James and Maya then Ana opposite me and Temi's seat which was empty opposite Andrew.
The doorbell rang seconds after and my mum went to get it. I could hear their voices then their footstep as they made their way towards us.
Good afternoon sir,” Funke and Adrian greeted my dad at the same time.
“Adrian and Funke, welcome.” He beamed at them, ushering them their seats.
They both sat down, Funke beside me. Mum came back into the room and took her seat and shortly after Temi came in.
Funke wove at James and Maya and they returned it before she nudged me.
“How far,” I said in a way for greeting.
“Good, are you and Andrew still fighting?” she nodded towards Andrew.
I stole a small glance at the said guy, “yeah.”
She smiled tightly at me before finding my hand under the table and squeezing it lightly.
We started eating and when we were done, me, Maya, Ana and Funke were inside the kitchen cleaning up. mum being mum had to add desert to the dish so she went ahead dishing it up.
“So Funke, you and Adrian huh?” Ana smiled. I could see the excitement radiating off her.
“Yeah,” Funke nodded.
“I’m happy for you, you guys are perfect together,” Ana placed a hand on her shoulder and Funke smiled in return.
“Gosh you’re so cute when you blush,” I said causing everyone to laugh.
“Oh please, like you don’t blush too when someone brings up Andrew,” Funke sad and instantly both our faces dropped.
"What can I say, I’m head over heels in love with him.”
“Shit, I’m sorry I didn’t think,” Funke apologized.
“Hey hold up am I the only one who isn’t aware of what happened between those two?” Maya spoke up.
“Sorry about that,” I placed the last plate on the rack and wiped my hands dry before taking a seat on a stool.
I told her what happened and halfway into the story, my mum came over and served us our own ice cream and the cookies she baked last night that I was highly unaware of.
Done with my story Ana excused herself when Josie called her. We washed the ice cream bowls before heading upstairs and I made sure the rest of the cookies went up with me.
Maya said Andrew was an asshole for what he did but I should follow my heart. We talked a lot more and Ana even joined us at some point.
When it was starting to get dark, Adrian and James took Funke and Maya away. They promised to hang out some other time.
Andrew followed me upstairs to my room and I just didn't have the strength to talk to him.
"Riya," he called.
"What?" I took off my shirt making sure my back was to Andrew.
"Can we talk?" He asked coming closer.
"No," I walked into my closet and slammed the door hoping it was in his face.
When I had changed back into comfy clothes I walked back into my room to find it empty but a note was left on my bed, a note I'm sure wasn't there before.
I took it up and sat on my bed reading it.
Riya,
I know I've messed up big time and no amount of begging can ever change what I did or stop the pain we both feel in our hearts so this letter is not necessarily to beg you to forgive me but to let you know that no matter what, I love you.
I have done a lot of cruel things to you, things I'm not proud of, never have and never will be. I've made a lot of mistakes, mistakes that cost our relationship and even our friendship and I must say that I'm deeply sorry for that. I never wished to hurt you, never have and never will. All I want is to see you happy and if that happiness isn't with me then I'm willing to let you go somewhere else you can be happy.
If you ever wish to come back to me, my arms are always open but I can't promise not to hurt you as you can't also promise not to hurt me but I'll try my best Riya, I'll do my possible best to make you happy and to love you. And if you decide to walk away from me, I'll keep saying this over and over again Riya, I love you and nothing is going to change that.
-Andrew.
I didn't know I was crying until a tear fell on the paper getting that spot wet instantly. I wiped at my eyes furiously wishing for the tears to stop but they just kept coming.
I don't even know what to do anymore. The words of my friends and everybody coming back to me. They all said one thing, whatever decision I make, they'll stand by it as long as I'm happy with it.
Ana was right, even if I accept him back, he'll still make mistakes, he'll still hurt me and I'll also make mistakes and hurt him but that's what makes us stronger.
I can really see he wants to be better for me, for us but he keeps fucking up everytime. I want to forgive him and let go giving him one last chance. And I also want to forget about him and move on.
I'm conflicted and lost and for the life of me I can't find my way.