why do i kill?
i kill for my sister, the one person that saw hope in italy even when italy had no hope for her.
---flashback time!---
"youre a cheater!" i screamed, throwing my hands into the air. "why would you do that!"
Alessia would laugh, blocking her face as i threw monopoly money at her with rage. "because you never caught on! i could be the greatest villain in the world and you'd never know!"
my sister, Alessia, was always sharp-minded. she would constantly come up with little schemes and ideas that could improve italy, for both better or worse. some involved a change in politics, and others involved certain degrees of murder, which i for someone reason agreed with as an actual answer to a few of italys many problems.
she was also exceptionally quick to defend herself, her excuses for anything almost coming up on the spot and allowing her a quick getaway, just like myself. if i didnt know any better, id say she was a criminal mastermind, honing the ability to bring a simple country to its knees with her schemes.
if only she wasnt bound to a freezing cold bed, wires plugged into her veins and monitors screaming for several doctors to come in every other day. indie music would play softly on low-quality speakers to dull the beeping of a rising and falling green line, almost as if it were drawing mountains according to the beat of a dying song.
"so, how's your new job doing?"
i would freeze for a moment, but only a moment. "it's doing me fine. income is steady, and your bills should be payed soon!"
Alessias hand would come up to scratch her bare scalp, wires pulling against the stands they were attached to. "really? i didnt think that the mob would pay that much."
while she may have the mind of an expert criminal, she was still an eleven year old. worrisome and innocent. "ideally, that would mean youre involved in the more dangerous jobs, such as killing and drug trades, correct?"
i was never able to deduce how she managed to come to those conclusions. the correct conclusions, nonetheless. "how did you know?"
"its obvious, (y/n)! you wouldnt give someone one hundred dollars to go make a five-minute deal with another gang, right? youd give them a hundred dollars to do things that take more risk, more expirience. its that simple."
"truly a genius, alessia." i would reply rather starkly, cleaning up the monopoly mess we made on her sheer blankets. "tell me, why are you so interested in crime? why not try to better the country instead of focusing on whats making it worse?"
"because," she'd reply, "the only things that are supposed to be good about this country, italy, are the worst. crime runs rampant because of corrupt police. do you happen to understand why police are corrupt?"
id pretend i didnt know, just to see her face light up and to hear her endless string of ideas to improve a minimal issue. "no, i dont know why police would end up as bad guys. why is that, alessia?"
"theyre corrupt because of bribes! well- thats obvious, but, why do they accept bribes? its because the criminals are able to offer the cops more in bribe money than what their jobs are willing to pay them! if, perhaps, the government managed to raise the pay for cops higher so it wouldnt be worth accepting bribes, then the issue would be solved! now, we know no one is going to take action to do this, so, i have a second idea!"
i leaned in close, an excited and anxious expression turning my face into a giddy grin. "what is it, oh wise one?"
"are you ready for this idea? i dont think youre ready for this!" she giggled, hugging her new, pink teddy bear i bought for her close to her chest.
"oh, believe me, i think im ready."
"we need a new crime. italy needs someone to restore order, even if theyre seen as a bad guy, y'know? like maybe... a murderer, but a good murderer! something to keep the police on their toes and improve their pay so they dont become as corrupt! because, why accept a bribe of one hundred dollars, when you are getting payed three hundred every two-three days? plus, if a killer were to arise in the streets of italy, they could partake in an array of different crimes and pretend they were committed by different people."
i folded my hands. "well, what's all this talk of murder and criminals about? why would you want to... to suggest that someone should come in and start a one-man-riot? are you saying that someone should come chaos to an already broken country?"
"no! i mean- yes, but thats not exactly what i mean! im talking about someone like batman or spider man, someone who is viewed as a villain when theyre actually slowly restoring order behind the scenes."
alessia looked down at her thin, weak fingers, seemingly noticing the lack of color in them what so ever. "...maybe you could be someone like that, (y/n)."
"well, why couldnt you do something like that, alessia? why not become the best vigilante out there?"
"you know why i cant, (y/n)."
the room broke into an uncomfortable silence, the whirring of the ceiling fan above being the only sound beside my heavy sigh. "...yeah, i know."
and then all was silent.
light, empty, unforgiving silence.
then, a voice. "(y/n)?"
i picked up my head, looking at the girl in front of me made of thin skin and bones. somehow i had only just noticed how serious her condition is; her veins were visible through her thinning skin, and her eyes were sunken into her sockets, their color beginning to dull as if she was passing away. "can you promise me something?" she asked me in a low, almost hoarse whisper.
i grew concerned, watching her eyes drop slightly. she must be tired. at least, thats what i thought. "im not sure, it depends on what you want me to promise."
her left hand reached out to me, making a grabbing motion until i intertwined mine with hers. "i want you to promise that you'll.. you'll..."
i noticed her breathing grew heavy, eyes fluttering closed before the last glimmer of life reflected off of them for the last time, escaping its demise as a single tear that rolled down her cheek. "that youll bring my home back on its feet..."
the long, single line beat of a flatline echoed throughout the room, my body paralyzed with fear and a life-long sting of grief before i even processed what happened. "..alessia?"
my (s/c), calloused hand tightened around hers, almost breaking the brittle bones that held her together. "alessia! dont mess around with me! wake back up, damnit! tell me what you want me to do!"
no movement, no breath, and no response, leaving me to hear my heart pound in my ears. without warning, men and women in lab coats and special attire of every kind burst into the room, crowding around alessia and yelling curses and orders. i couldnt make out what they were saying, as my hearing was replaced with nothing but static as i turned just as braindead as my sister.
"alessia! if you can hear me, i promise! i promise ill bring your home back to the top!" i managed to scream over my own deafness, a wet substance pooling out of my eyes in waves of sadness. "ill get rid of 'em! ill get rid of all of those bugs you call people and make this country worth loving!"
two men in white labcoats thundered over to me, sweeping me off the ground from under my arms and forcing me out of the room, my legs only able to kick and thrash around in defiance as i was hurried from my sisters bedside.
"im going to be the best of the worst this country has ever seen!"
and so, i did. however, i only truly became morte nascosta after my incident with bucciarati and the gang, during the time of which i was freaking out over alessias medical bills. i tried proving it was a bad job, that i was cheated out of my proper pay and that the reward i was given was fake, but no one trusted poor, little (y/n).
i just wanted to do the job right, get the bills paid, and be done. though, after my accident, ive come to believe that maybe alessia was onto something, and that this country truly did need a villain. one that would break down buildings to finally let the flowers underneath grow.
i burned a single note at her resting place before departing to become the most well-known serial killer in all of history, thinking that maybe by burning it, it would somehow reach her in the afterlife.
'dear alessia, i love you. i hope youre happy wherever you are, and that you've seen my progression. im slowly but surely turning italy into the country you always knew it could be. no matter how long itll take, ill see it through. i know its a silly question, but how's mister fear? did he go into the afterlife with you? are you both hosting your silly tea parties, wearing feather boas and oversized heels as you pretended to have an accent? i still remember why yuo named him 'mister fear', you know. you told me it was because 'he absorbs all my fear when i go through my tests! he'll keep me safe.'
i hope he's still keeping you safe in the afterlife, too. its strange, though, that my new stand happens to have your same voice. maybe im just delusional, or maybe im trying to remember ou. nonetheless, im sure that youre watching me from above, helping me wth the rebuilding of your favorite nation.
with love (and a bit of kisses), (y/n) (l/n)'
got tired of seeing all these villains have heartbreak, love and stuff as their motivation and backstory, so i decided to involve a family member in something that would truly start a downward spiral into the morte nascosta you know and probably hate :)
fun fact! doppio reminds y/n of alessia, their little sister, which is why theyre so afraid to get attached to him. he could die and leave them alone again, y'know? why risk it? they've convinced themself that what they feel is hate, and a desire to kill, when really they just want to finally have a connection with someone again.
if you have any further questions about my book so far, please ask me here!