he had to remember atsumu had already left walking out the door. as sakusa pushed past the same door a part of his heart yearned to search for the setter, to take a left instead of a right. he was sure the setter would be there, but he instead fought the will and pushed past taking a right to make his way to get ready for his game.
little did he know atsumu wished just as much that sakusa went looking for him too.
─── ∙ ~εïз~ ∙ ───
how long has it been? atsumu stayed staring at the ceiling which stared back at him blankly. he had been alone in his room since they arrived home hours ago. a random show was on in the background but was muted to not disturb his thoughts. the tears had dried on his face leaving a salty feeling as they rested on his lips. he sniffled quietly as he sat up. his head was pounding as he reached for his glass of water, his chest trying desperately to go back to its regular breathing patterns. a quiet knock sounded from his door.
"atsumu? i'm coming in," osamu quietly spoke. their walls were not the thinnest. the past few minutes osamu had just been listening to his brother cry.
atsumu wiped his eyes trying to hide any evidence of his sadness. "come in," he spoke his voice rough and raspy.
osamu pushed the door open walking in to see atsumu sitting on the edge of his bed. his hair was disheveled, tears brimming his eyes, and face red.
"it wasn't your fault you know that," osamu whispered, being sincere for once. he understood just how much this was eating up his brother.
this did not help one bit as atsumu started sobbing harder, stuffing his face in his pillow to muffle the noise. osamu walked over to sit next to him lightly patting him on the back. atsumu sat up tears still rolling down his face.
"it's my fault though."
osamu went to protest but atsumu cut him off.
"if i had practiced harder we could have won and still been playing. it's all my fault i didn't react fast enough. i should have tried harder. i'm never going to be good enough. it's all my fault that omi is g-gone," atsumu stammered his voice cracking at the mention of sakusa.
"i will never understand that relationship you guys had but it isn't your fault. you guys already said you weren't going to date in highschool anyways," osamu calmly spoke.
"but i wanted more time with him," atsumu choked out.
"time doesn't stop for anyone, it passes, all of us just remember that," osamu made eye contact with his heartbroken brother, the TV shining on his face so he could see the obvious tear tracks. "now go to bed suna and i will take you out for ice cream tomorrow ok?"
atsumu only nodded laying back down. "you sound like an old man speaking all wise like that," atsumu tried to laugh. his eyelashes left heavy as he closed his eyes. the last thing he remembered was the sound of osamu shutting his door. as more tears ran down his face he let himself find peace in his sleep.
─── ∙ ~εïз~ ∙ ───
that winter had been the last winter together for the pair. as osamu has said, time didn't wait for them. as the days and week passed the pain began to reside within them. seasons passed the boys as their final year set it, both working extra hard. to say the other did not cross their minds from time to time would be a lie. for sakusa especially, it was hard to let go of the only person he let in. in result, he got colder, pushing more people away than ever. atsumu's normal cheerness dialed down bringing down everybody's mood around him. he grew rather fond of laying under the stars at night and just thinking. the silence felt nice. despite this, when he went to school he put back on his mask of the overly loud, straight forward twin. sakusa had changed him and it wasn't something he hated. maybe it was the boys forgiving the other or the small hope that things could end up well that kept them motivated but none the less it worked.
the boys had learned to forget that following winter, whether it helped or not neither knew the answer.
┌─────────────────┐
two years later
└─────────────────┘
"sakusa do you really need to pack that many masks? i mean can't you just buy some up there. your deadass taking up half of the space with those masks," komori laughed at his ridiculous cousin.
sakusa looked up, deadpanning him. "there is no such thing as too many masks."
komori laughed again looking around at the boys empty room. well, it had already been pretty empty but the usual hand sanitizer and masks scattered around the room were packed away neatly in sakusa's suitcase making the room even more bland.
komori looked back down at sakusa who was idly packing things into his two black suitcases. he had grown in the past years mentally and physically. they had finally done it, they had both graduated highschool with little to know struggle and had made it into a pretty nice collage. today was move in day and of course sakusa had chosen to go on the least busy day. to say he has hoped sakusas deathly fear of germs would go away had been an understatement -- he had prayed countless times trying everything he could to help but it was no use. he didn't get better. in fact he got even worse than komori would have thought he would.
komori had to practically beg sakusa to go to the same college with him due to the fact sakusa was rudely told by an employee there that he can't pick his roommate or switch. this definitely had shaken sakusa up a bit at the thought of having a random roommate living with him in close quarters. komori was broken out of his thoughts as he heard sakusa zip up his suitcase.
"are you ready?" komori happily asked, springing to his feet.
"as i'll ever be." sakusa huffed, pulling up his mask and a pair of black leather gloves he had grown accustomed to wearing the past year.
as komori stepped around heading to the door he prayed one last time that sakusas roommate wouldn't be a complete slob and would actually be a good friend to him.
the drive up wasn't as bad as they thought it would have been so far . they pulled up to their first stop during the three hours for snacks. komori ran out to the local gas station to pick up a bunch of chips and drinks cheering that it was necessarily for celebration.
"celebration for what?" sakusa judgingly questioned.
"for moving onto our next chapter of our lives of course," komori happily took a sip from his pepsi.
"you make it sound cringy," sakusa rolled his eyes, still taking a sip from his sprite.
komori laughed as he passed sakusa the aux cord making sure to hold it from the far end. sakusa thankfully grabbed it before scrolling through his spotify to find his familiar playlist. he finally settles on my boy by billie eilish as he closes his eyes letting his head rest against the car window.
as komori looked over as he turned the music up slightly.
'my boy my boy my boy don't love me like he promised'
─── ∙ ~εïз~ ∙ ───
"move it asshole," osamu said, nudging atsumu with the corner of his backpack.
atsumu stumbled out of the car as he hissed at his brother for being a jerk.
"we're literally an hour early, could we relax for a minute," atsumu yawned. his nap in the car had seemed to make him even more tired as he rubbed his eyes.
osamu ignored him as he helped suna out of his car.
"tsk' ya don't get how lucky you guys are to end up roommates. for all i know i'm with a freak that murders people."
"i can only hope," osamu interrupted.
atsumu ignored him and continued talking, "but seriously osamu did you sleep with the principle to get a dorm with suna or something, your luck is way too good to be true," atsumu laughed slightly annoyed.
osamu just stared at him as he slowly raised his middle finger to his twin. "i think somebody is a bit jealous i have a good roommateeee," osamu bragged.
"am not."
"am too."
"am not."
"am to-."
"enough," suna calmly spoke to the bickering twins.
atsumu stuck his tongue out as he grabbed his suitcases from the trunk.
"you're so immature; i feel deeply sorry for your roommate," osamu deadpanned.
"oh shut yer trap," atsumu protested.
"guys for the last time shut the fuck up or i'm leaving both of your asses in the deepest ditch i can find and blame it on your own dumbasses fault and you know what the police wouldn't even question it seeing how you too act," suna looked up a slight crease in his brow.
atsumu gulped and he gave up the argument. suna being angry was a whole different type of scary. as suna started briskly walking towards the first of the many lines they would have to wait at the twins slowly followed like injured pups.
'what a great start to the day,' atsumu mumbled in his thoughts.
─── ∙ ~εïз~ ∙ ───
sakusa sat silently waiting for komori to come back. they were at a local cafe waiting for the workers to call them back so they could move in their stuff. sakusa had his hands wrapped around the coffee mug that he had wiped down twice but kept his gloves on anyways appreciating the little heat he could feel through them. he carefully rose the glass to his face, liking the way the steam felt hitting his face. komori walked back over trying his best to balance his drink and his textbook he had just picked up.
"why the hell did you let me choose to take physics fucking 16," komori huffed while quickly flipping through his textbook.
sakusa looked up, making a confused face. "i told you not to and you complained saying you wanted to take the hardest classes for the best future do you not remember."
komori let out a sigh laying his head on his textbook. "you will help me right?"
"of course not, i mean do you really think i could take that class and pass? i think the fuck not."
komoir let out a laugh as he took a sip for his cup of coffee. the taste was bitter on his mouth as he instantly gagged. sakusa instinctively brought his mask back up, jolting away from the table. as komori calmed himself down he held up an apologetic hand as he forced a closed grin.
"no....su-su....gar and v..ery hot," komori choked out.
sakusa nodded as he hesitatingly sat back down pulling out his phone. komori excused himself as he went in search for some sugar or anything in fact to make this god awful coffee taste better.
he made his way to the coffee making section that was filled with random packets of all different types of sugars. a large window laid in front of as he saw the sun beginning to set leaving the sky in a range of orange and red hues.
'i could get use to this,' he thought happily. the coffee shop was playing calm music in the background making his mood even better. he grabbed a pack of sugar eager to tear it open. the sugar fell perfectly in the cup as he reached for another his movements halted.
his heart instantly quickened as he felt his mouth begin to over salivate. he felt like his head was underwater, all noise sounding muffled. of all the things he had worked hardest to fix, there was no way he would be able to comprehend what he was seeing. from his view from the window komoris eyes settled on to no other than miya fucking atsumu and osamu playfully pickering as a rather bored suna followed behind them with a cart filled with bags.
he couldn't hear exactly what they were saying but he could tell from their body movements that osamu had said something to piss off atsumu. from what he could see atsumu also had clearly changed physically. he swallowed again to break his thought. it wasn't the time right now to worry about them. plus both men had clearly moved on from each other and the chance of them even living near each other had to be what 1%?
komori finished putting sugar in his coffee before turning around to return to sakusa. he held the mug tightly to keep his hands from shaking.
"you good?" sakusa questioned, barely looking up from his phone.
"y-ya all good," komori awkwardly laughed.
he had only just started to keep this secret and it was eating him up inside. the bitter taste never left his mouth and he blankly sipped his coffee too scared to speak.
"hey were supposed to go, my dorm is ready," sakusa snapped after repeating himself for the third time.
"s-sorry," komori shakingly responded, grabbing his textbook as they walked out. komori kept a wary eye out looking behind them from time to time.
"are you sure you're ok, your acting very strange?" sakusa once again questioned his right brow slightly rising.
komori only nodded, not trusting his voice to lie.
sakusa chose not to push it half because he didn't care and half because it might have been better to just not know.
they reached the tan building as they both looked up. it was a fairly tall building with a flat roof. komori stepped in first, opening the door for the pair.
"want to take the stairs or the elevator?" komori laughed.
sakusa didn't even raise a brow as he knew komori already knew the answer. the bare thought of getting sweaty didn't appeal him right now. komori laughed again at his reaction as he pressed the elevator to get them.
─── ∙ ~εïз~ ∙ ───
"who the fuck decided we should take the stairs?" atsumu complained for what had to be the 30th time. music blasted from his earbuds making it hard to hear anything. he continued to drag his two suitcases up the 7th flight of stairs.
"only 4 more and you obviously need the exercise if you can't handle this," osamu snapped back trying to hide the fact he was out of breath too.
"you guys are pathetic," suna laughed a low laugh.
osamu smiled at hearing his boyfriend laugh. atsumu made a gagging motion at this, earning a hit from his brother.
"you should be grateful we're helping you move in first."
"ya ya, i knew yer just worried it's going to be a weird pedo and i'ma be killed and you will be all like, 'oh no my dear brother what will i ever do without him i just miss him so much,' and you will live a miserable life without me," atsumu dramatically preached.
"for someone taking an english major you sure have a terrible imagination," suna called out.
atsumu laughed as he continued jamming to his music and catching up.
─── ∙ ~εïз~ ∙ ───
the elevator ride had to have taken at least 10 minutes. having to a higher level obviously didn't help. sakusa had counted 17 people who had arrived and left. he was pressed against the corner as he wrestled a pair of earbuds out of his pocket and started playing music to distract him from the conversations of these random strangers. as he turned the volume up the voices faded into bitter nothingless. as the last pair stepped off the elevator he let out a breath of relief. he noticed how ever so slightly komoris foot bounced up and down. the elevator came to halt finally leaving them on their floor. komori stepped out followed by sakusa as he stuffed his hand into his pockets.
─── ∙ ~εïз~ ∙ ───
"guys now a genius idea," atsumu started to wait for a respond. osamu and suna shared a look both not saying anything. "thanks guys, as i was saying i'ma turn around and you guys let me know when we get there; then it's like a big reveal you know?" atsumu exclaimed, acting like a little kid again. he took out a single earbud for a brief second to catch a response. when osamu let out a sigh he considered that a yes as he turned around so he faced them and started walking back with a smile on his face.
─── ∙ ~εïз~ ∙ ───
"why the fuck are there so many bugs in here?" komori asked, swatting away another fly.
sakusa was obviously disgusted with the level of cleanliness already. another fly came into view as despite the music blasting in his ears he could hear it buzz. he whipped his head around turning his back to watch where the fly went. god help them if that fly landed on sakusa he would lose his absolute shit. his front faced komori as he blindly walked backwards still very wary of the fly buzzing around komori. his scowl depended as they turned the last corner. he didn't make any move to turn around his eyes still fixated on the fly.
─── ∙ ~εïз~ ∙ ───
"last corner, you guys should be more excited for me. this is my first time living without that donkey of a brother," atsumu giggled.
suna stifled a laugh. "oh shut it, we are literally two floors beneath you," osamu spoke.
"ya ya, but -- what's up with your faces yer act like you just seen a ghost," atsumu stifled a laugh as he continued walking back.
osamu and suna stood frozen in their tracks as their faces turned ghostly white. osamu and komori made eye contact as komori also froze.
"s-sakusa wait," komori tried calling out.
"atsumu stop," osamu shouted at the same time.
"were here already?" atsumu excitedly said as he turned around.
at the same time sakusa clearly had not read komoris face right as he turned around in hope to see what exactly he was gawking at.
the two boys bumped straight into each other resulting in complete chaos.
atsumu stumbled back as he gaped up at the man he once knew so well. on the other hand sakusa didn't give a second thought to who it was rather jumping back to stare at his now contaminated jacket.
osamu and suna and komori all stared at each other nobody exactly sure what to say or do.
"aha what a coincidence..." komori awkwardly stated.
nobody answered as atsumu stayed staring at sakusa.
he was different. his hair had grown longer reaching below his ears but still held those familiar curls. he had definitely grown taller, but not as much at atsumu. guessing where atsumu ran into he was around sakusas nose height. the familiar set of moles still laid above his eyebrow. as atsumus eyes traveled down he saw the familiar mask he always wore. one more thing startled atsumu as from his mask he thought he could make see a snake bite piercing poking out.
"o-omi-kun?" atsumus voice wavered.
it felt as if the entire room had let out a breath. sakusa froze. he hadn't even bothered to look who he had bumped into at the time, more concerned at getting his jacket off. only one person called him that and he could clearly recognize that voice from anywhere. it was the voice of someone he had thought he would never see again.
sakusa looked down at miya. miya had grown some but the only striking change were his dangerous good looks that have seemed to have gotten only better.
"miya," sakusa gritted his teeth letting out a breath.
'fuck'
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
sigh TEN FUCKING THOUSAND VIEWS ??!! stop that's actually crazy. as promised this chapter is out right on time. also, usually my chapters are about 10 pages ( on google docs ) this one is fucking 19 so ya, i spent a shit loud of time trying my best in between classes to post this and get it done. thank you so much for all the support it means to the actual world to me. i saw your feedback from what you guys wanted and you can always go back and ask for things !! as always feedback, upvotes, and follows are appreciated. having an amazing day cuties.
next chapter will be out : october 21
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