A/N: Hey!! I just wanna remind everyone that when something is underlined, it resonates or is/is going to be a part of Harry's life or means something to Harry. Enjoy!!
December 13th, 2018
Over the past few months, I've been on multiple TV shows, have met with dozens of designers and finalised my court decision to sue Melody for a breach in the contract when we found a loophole – turns out Melody was bluffing, and the contract was never legal. I've also got a new manager and after many background checks, he's pretty perfect. Tomorrow is my twenty-fourth birthday and Anne and Dad are coming to L.A. to be with Harry and I, Harry was able to make it home from tour for a little while to see me. We've been spending a lot of time together whenever we can and honestly, I feel myself falling harder every day. I suppose things are starting to look up from here on out, I met with Greta Gerwig only last week to discuss a period piece and filming for the Jane Campion movie wraps next weekend - everything is just perfect.
I take a sip from my mimosa and look out over the sweet city of L.A. that I've learnt to love. The soft pastel pink clouds above my head make me feel at ease, Harry's soft strumming of his guitar soothes my running mind as we sit on my balcony together. I should focus on my phone; I'm expecting a call from Montelle about a fitting for the movie premiere with Jane, but his strumming sounds so beautiful.
"What're you playing? It sounds new." I say to him and he looks up from his guitar at me, continuing to strum a gentle melody.
"Something I'm working on; I've actually got about five songs written for the new album." He says with a smile, setting his phone down on his knee as he strums at the guitar gently and I watch as his ring clad fingers pick ever so carefully at each string. Harry tried teaching me how to play once but I grew bored very quickly, maybe one day I'll pick it up again. My phone begins to ring and the name 'Montelle' appears on my screen. I pick up the phone and press it to my ear, hearing the soft voice of Montelle on the other line.
"Salut comment allez-vous?... Je suis heureux de me retrouver à Paris la semaine prochaine si cela vous convient? Parfait, je ne sais pas encore quoi mais je veux que vous ayez un répertoire créatif complet! Ok, parle vite alors, Montelle!" I say and hang up the phone, I figured it would last longer but I suppose she's a busy woman these days.
(Translation: Hi how are you? ... I am happy to be in Paris next week if that suits you? Perfect, I don't know what yet but I want you to have a complete creative repertoire! Ok, speak soon then, Montelle)
"What the fuck?" Harry says with a chuckle and I smirk at him.
"I picked up a few words here and there." I say confidently and sit up straight in my chair, pulling a cigarette from the fresh deck I bought yesterday, and Harry shakes his head at me.
"Don't be so judgemental." I say, lighting one as I place it between my lips.
"I'm not, just don't know why you smoke." He says, picking up his phone and pressing something on the screen and I shrug my shoulders at him.
"When you left, I grew very bored and Agatha Blue, remember her, Black hair and a wicked eyeliner? Well she asked me to hang out with she and her friends one afternoon after school so she drove us all out to the fields where we sat listening to Joni Mitchell, 'Big Yellow Taxi' and chain smoking cigarettes. I came home and showered straight away so Dad wouldn't smell it on me, but I was very sick that night so I'm pretty sure he knew." I say and Harry breaks out laughing at my very adolescent esque story.
"Shut up." I say, throwing a chip at him and he catches it in his mouth. I clap and laugh as he stands to his feet, overdramatically bowing with a serious look on his face.
We spend the rest of the night dancing around the kitchen, listening to old music and making tacos, watching Golden Girls re-runs and playing multiple games of UNO, which I won every single last game.
"I should probably go." Harry says and I look at my phone, the time reading '11:57pm'.
"You don't wanna stay a few more minutes?" I say walking over to him as he slides on his vans.
"Baby, I'd spend the rest of my life in this little apartment of yours but it's getting pretty late." He whispers into my ear.
"That's very sweet of you but I meant until 12am, my birthday is in, well, two minutes now." I say as he kisses my cheek, trailing along my jaw and I smile.
"Ahh yes! How could I forget! Sorry." He says, placing his hands over his mouth and I punch at his shoulder playfully. However hard I continue to fall for Harry, we'll always be best friends first. He leans down and kisses my lips gently, holding my cheeks in his hands as he does and I smile into the kiss.
"Maybe you could stay the night?" I say through his kiss and I feel the smile curl up onto hus lips.
"Tilly..."
"I'm serious." I say as I pull away, gripping the collar of his black tee shirt in my fists.
"I don't have any clothes here." He says and I kiss into his lips again, leading him to my room.
"You don't need any right now..." I mumble and he pulls away from me, his eyebrows raised as his smile spreads across his face and I struggle to find out whether it's in shock or confusion, but I'm gonna go with shock.
"Matilda Jackson!" He says wide eyed and grinning as I lead him upstairs.
"Harry Styles!" I say back, mimicking his tone and he tugs at my hips gently as we reach my bedroom door, his lips press against mine in the dimly lit room and he walks backwards as we kiss, aimlessly trying to find his way to my bed despite never being in here. I become so invested in his kiss and the way his touch feels we continue to walk back when Harry bumps into something and I hear a rolling sound, causing me to cease kissing him and we turn around, both watching the ceramic mint green lamp roll off my bedside table and onto the hardwood floors.
"Harry!" I say laughing and he crouches down beginning to pick each piece up as we laugh but I tap at his shoulder and he turns around, I lay back on the bed and usher him with my hand to come onto the bed with me.
"Maybe we should clean this up?" He says laughing and I shake my head at him laughing.
"I'd rather do this." I say as I reach up to press my lips to his neck, slowly undoing his belt, followed by his zipper.
"Tilly..." He whispers with an exhale.
"Harry..." I whisper back as I pull down his trousers, watching them drop to the floor.
"I love you." I say, standing to my feet and moving his body to sit on the bed.
"I love you too." He says as my lips make contact with the skin of his inner thigh, causing a gasp to leave his mouth. His hands trail through my hair, holding it back behind me, letting me do my thing, making him feel good.
******
December 14th, 2018
My eyes gently flutter open in the sunlit room, the room heating up from the summery heat that rises from June weather here in L.A. I roll over in the sheets, tucking the soft yellow sheets under my arm to conceal my bare chest. I lay next to him, watching as his chest rises and falls as he sleeps. I gently trace his chest with my fingers, admiring how at peace he looks as he sleeps next to me, his soft curls falling over his face.
"Ha-"
The next thing I know my bedroom door is swinging widely open and I'm met with the horrified faces of Anne and Dad, Gemma standing behind them laughing.
"Happy birth- Oh my god!" Dad shouts loudly, carrying and dropping a birthday cake onto the floors.
Harry sits up in bed and holds the sheets over his chest, as if he has anything to cover, everyone in the room screaming and frantically moving about aside from the very naked Harry and I.
"Get out!" I shout in horror and Dad and Anne apologise profusively, scrambling around as they shut the door behind them.
"No, no, no." I say standing to my feet and throwing my pjs on, Harry doing the same.
"Our parents just-" Harry says.
"Your sister just walked in on us!" I shout and he laughs, covering his face as he shakes his head.
"Why are you laughing, Harry!" I whisper shout at him as he pulls a tee shirt over his body.
"Our parents just walked in on us and you're worried about Gemma?" He says and I stand still in a tee shirt and my underwear, accepting what just happened.
"I'm traumatised." I say, staring at the smeared cake on the floor.
"I think Mum and Dean are gonna have the trauma, baby. Go downstairs and make some coffee and I'll clean this up, everything is gonna be alright." Harry says calmly and I reach for a decorative pillow on the bed throwing it at his chest, making him laugh loudly.
We get dressed and slowly make our way downstairs in utter embarrassment; Gemma, Anne and Dad nowhere to be seen. They would have left for a little while. Harry sends Gemma a text message saying they can come back to the apartment and I make a cup of coffee for Harry and I. The two of us spend the next thirty minutes, drinking coffee after coffee and chain-smoking cigarettes out on the balcony, Harry only has one, but I swear I just finished half of my new deck. A knock at the door is heard and Harry walks over, springing it open.
"I'm glad we learnt how to knock, everyone!" He says jokingly and I cover my face in my palms.
"Harry, I love you like my own son, but get out of the way before I shove you aside, mate." Dad says sternly and Anne smirks, Gemma chuckling behind them. The three of them make their way into the apartment, Anne kisses me on the cheek but Dad nods at me and walks past. This is gonna be awkward.
"So, are you two like, dating now or?" Gemma says and Dad screws his face up as he looks between Harry and I.
I wish I could answer that question to be honest.
"Um... well... it's not really, sorta, look I'm guessing that, I don't know." Harry says as he fumbles with his words, for a guy whose been in the media for almost half his life, he's not great at talking to people.
"There was a lamp broken... Why was there a lamp broken? Wait, forget it, don't answer my question." Dad mumbles under his breath as he sits at the bench, his head in his hands.
God give me strength.
"That is correct! I accidently bumped it over, walking." He says placing his hands together in front of his chest.
"Walking into the room, or into Tilly's-" Gemma begins.
"Gemma Styles!" Anne says, cutting her off and I shoot Gemma a look of disapproval making her laugh.
"Ohhh! Who cares, they're mature adults who've got their shit together. If anything, we should be glad they're talking again!" Gemma says to Anne and Dad and I give her a weak smile, I know she thinks she's helping but I'm not too sure if she is.
"Even if they're doing more than talking..." Gemma say as she sits down on the lounge, opposite me as I sit on the staircase.
"Gemma, I won't tell you again!" Anne says and I look over to Dad who sits staring into nothing.
"It's my birthday..." I say awkwardly, making an attempt to lighten the entire situation. 9am on a Tuesday morning, Jesus Christ.
"Happy birthday my love." Anne says with a smile and I smile back.
"Dad?" I ask, wanting him to say something, to say anything.
"Twenty-four... wow." He says and I bite down on my lip.
Ah yikes.
"Are we still on for lunch later today?" Harry says smiling and Dad shoots him a death stare and he stops talking.
Fuck sake.
******
"I think he hates me." I say to Gemma as we walk down the boulevard together. I pull at my blazer, so it sits neatly over my shoulders. I spent the morning with Gemma because I suppose things were awkward between Dad and I this morning, so Anne showed him around L.A. Harry spent the day finishing up some small details on his album. It blows my mind completely that he's already finished five of the songs, he's just refusing to tell me what they are.
"Your Dad doesn't hate you, Tilly, he's just... in shock." Gemma says as she knocks me from my thought trail, and I shrug my shoulders at her as we approach the café I've come to love. I look down at her hands and she's carrying a large bag which I assume is my birthday present, it makes me nervous how big it is. We walk in and the vibrant colours are a sight for sore eyes, we walk over to Harry, Dad and Anne who are seated in one of the booths.
"Happy birthday, Tilly girl." Dad says as he stands to meet me, his arms wrap around me and I smile, nestling my head into his chest as he hugs me.
"You're not mad at me?" I ask and he laughs, shaking his head.
"No father wants to know about his daughters... um, personal life... but I'm not mad at you, it isn't my choice what you and um... Harold do." He says as we sit down in the booth. We order our lunch and Anne passes me a thin square wrapped in light blue paper and a small pink ribbon. I open it across the centre and my eyes look upon the record that Anne gifted me, 'Build Me Up Buttercup' by The Foundations. I look up at her and smile, noticing Dad is also smiling.
"This is beautiful, thank you. I love it." I say to her as I admire the record. This was Mums favourite song.
"For when you miss home, paint it." Gemma gifts me a paint set and a few canvases which explains the large bag.
Dad pulls out a square box and holds it in his hands for a moment, running his thumb in circles over it with a soft smile taking over his lips. Anne places her hand on his shoulder, and they exchange a glace, Dad exhales and passes me the box slowly and I take it in my hands, I open it to a choker with white and blue beads.
"This was Mums... There isn't a memory I have where she didn't have this on..." I say as I take it from the box and examine it in my hands.
"I made it for her when we we're in high school... She wore it every day after I gave it to her, even when we broke up for a month in university, she wore it... That necklace has seen the world's most wonderful beaches, visited the globes most famous cities... but most importantly... well it saw love and it saw a family. I want you to have it and I want it to see the world with you. There's just no use for it to sit in the attic when it could sit on your neck... or wherever I guess." He says through shaky breaths and I stand to my feet, kissing him on the cheek and sitting back down. I unclip the latch and wrap it around my neck.
"She's always with you, Tilly girl. She's always with us all." Anne says as she looks between Dad and I.
I've never felt closer to my Mum than this moment.
Dad, Anne and Gemma stayed for a few days beforethey had to go back home, and Harry took off again for the tour until he'll beback for New Year's Eve. I hate saying goodbye, but I know I'm never alone. Ihave my mother's love with me at all times and I can do anything I want if I setmy mind to it. All in all, my birthday was fine... But being asked if Harry and I are dating, that shook my world upside down.
Are we dating? We love one another... right?