083020
The media up top ^^ is to be played at the end of the chapter where I've noted it. Enjoy!
"Can someone please get the food now? I'm starving," Taehyung groaned, shutting off his phone and stretching his back.
"How are you starving? I won't be able to eat anything," Jin said.
"The food's ordered," Sejin said, "and ready for someone to pick it up. Should I go get it, or do one of you want to?"
"I will," Jungkook volunteered, standing up and grabbing his keys.
"Thank you, Jungkook," Taehyung sighed.
"Mm hm," the younger nodded, before getting ready to head out the door.
I stood from my seat in the company's artist room before following quickly after him. "I'll come. I need something to do anyway."
Jungkook looked at me and nodded, so I followed him down the company building's stairs and to the parking lot.
"I can't wait! It's almost time for this album to be shown to fans. You've all worked so hard, and Stigma is beautiful, the Outro that I worked on... Everything is just great! I really can't wait!" I said as we walked towards the company sedan.
"I can wait," Jungkook said, sounding a bit defeated.
"Is it because you're nervous?"
"Worried, yeah. You could say that." He opened the door for me, and I climbed in as he headed to the drivers side.
"There's really nothing to be worried about, though."
"Of course you'd say that," he sighed, throwing his wallet into the back seat and getting his keys out of his pocket. "You just haven't felt anything like this. You've never done this before. You don't know how it feels. You didn't do anything."
The keys were shoved into the starter, and he grasped the wheel with knuckles that were almost turning white.
I pouted slightly to myself, because I felt the harshness of his words. But I understood he was under a lot of pressure. "I get that, JK, I really do." I ran a hand through my hair. "And I did do something, I kinda helped produce the Outro."
He was silent.
"But really," I continued, "what are you so afraid of?"
"I might not be performing in front of those thousand something people live, but that video, the music video, the music in it, and us, we, me... the fans are going to see all that. Not just fans, either. This music video is going out into the world. People are still going to see my face, they're still going to judge me, and BigHit is still going to be using this music video for an idea on how our album sales go, how much money we gain, and our future performances.
"That especially counts for tour. Heck, the entire tour depends on this music video, because this is going to give us a serious idea of what attendance for the tour is going to be. It's going to tell the members and I how much money, effort, and time is going to be put into the tour, and how much pressure we, as artists are going to have to expect. This one music video is not only more spotlight on me as a human being -a being that sometimes wants to hide- but a huge determination on my future. My whole, entire future."
I scowled. "Well when you put it that way..."
"Didn't think of it, huh?"
"Yeah." I slumped in my seat. "And that's not even counting what they'll think about the music."
"Indeed, and that's a hard one too, because the only big way to know how much they're liking it is by streams. Not by likes or dislikes or views. Most fans don't just go onto Twitter or Weverse and say 'oh yeah this song is pretty dope' or 'nah why did Bangtan flop on this one?' you know?"
"Mm hm," I nodded.
He paused before saying a little quieter, "Aren't you scared about what they will think about your song? The outro you helped produce?"
I rubbed the back of my neck as he glanced away from the road to look at me. "Sure, I guess. I didn't think about it too much because it was one song and I didn't do all of it. If choreography comes in later and I can help with that, I will, but no one's going to see that any time soon. I don't know, I'm more excited to see how the fans react to you guys."
"And are you nervous about that?"
I shook my head, "I'm not sure, but I don't think so- woah."
"What?"
I pointed out my side of the car's window, and at a shop that had a bunch of displays. Inside of one was a deep, royal purple dress. It looked silky along most of the body, but had lacing covering all of the shoulders, arms, and down just past the knees where the silk wasn't hanging. My mind couldn't help but think of the school dance that was coming up pretty soon, that I was attending with Jiho. "That purple dress. It's beautiful. I wonder how much it is, I'll have to look into it before the dance."
Jungkook's eyes followed the store window until it went out of view, and he looked thoughtful for a few seconds afterwards, before urging me to continue what I was saying.
"Right, sorry. I don't think I'm nervous about what the fans might think. Maybe because I used to be on the receiving end of the album releases. And you all weren't nearly as nervous about the last album that came out a few months ago, right after I came into the equation."
"That was a compilation album, not a new one. Plus, it wasn't as big as this one, nor did we have as many fans."
"I know, JK," I said. "It'll be okay."
"I sure hope so," he agreed.
We reached the restaurant we'd ordered from and picked up the food before heading back to the BigHit building. It was about 10 in the evening, which meant we had about two more hours of time to kill. It was definitely late to be eating dinner, but the big lunch from before and the busy schedule of the day had prevented us from thinking too much about food.
When we got back, we handed out the eagerly awaited food, and sat down to eat quietly. The staff members were slowly declining around us, and it was mostly a few of the managers. We all wanted to watch the new album be released together as a BigHit family, with some of the people who had been important to making it happen. We fed the few lingering staff, production team, and those others we wanted to thank especially.
I sat down with my paper bowl of chicken soup and began eating, humming at the wonderful bursts of flavor. (A/N: I made this for my family for dinner tonight, it's elite. It's heavenly. My whole family loved it. Make it.) It had chicken, a little bit of rice, tofu, sprouts, and scallions, all sitting in a ton of chicken broth with ginger and garlic. I added a few packets of spicy paste, enough that my whole mouth seemed to light up with every spoonful.
Taehyung, who was sitting across from me, had a small plate of kimchi, so I stole a few pieces of it as I ate. And I couldn't help myself from stealing a few pieces of bulgogi from Hoseok, either.
In the middle of eating, a staff member came up and told us the MV was uploaded to Youtube but was private at the moment, and was ready to release at midnight as planned. They asked if anyone wanted to watch it once more. I still hadn't seen it yet, but I decided to wait. I wanted to see it as a fan, not a member. This could be my last time, because later on I might need to be more involved, enough that nothing would be a surprise anymore. I'd see it in two hours, and I'd be happy.
Namjoon suggested that I should listen to the finished album, at least, because one midnight hit and we celebrated the MV, it would be time for me to head to bed since I still had school in the morning. I agreed, and sat down to listen thoughtfully to the music with Namjoon.
He pulled out his phone and two pairs of earbuds, as well as a jack splitter, so we could both listen with both earbuds in. He wrapped an arm around me, and I tensed at first. But I let myself relax into his side.
I'd missed Namjoon.
Then, he went to the files with the music since it wasn't on Spotify yet, and played the first one. "Oh, wait, you've heard this before. Should we move on?" It was Hoseok's song, which I'd already pretty much heard from his song being the Intro and already being released with it's own music video. I nodded, and when Namjoon realized the second song was the title track for the music video, he stopped again, realizing I wanted to wait to hear it.
"Actually, Joon," I said. "Can I listen to the Outro?"
He smiled, "Of course. It was your hard work after all."
Hearing the familiar intro I'd worked so hard on, butterflies found their way around my stomach as I got ready to hear the boy's voices. I hadn't heard the song after they actually recorded the vocals.
Jungkook started with the English line I'd crafted with Namjoon's help, saying [If you feel like pulling up Interlude: Wings on the Wings album, feel free to jam along with the lyrics I've put here uwu], "Take me to the sky-y-y-y, oh woah."
Then, it continued to Namjoon, "Put your hands up to the sky, yea, if you feelin' the vibe, come on, if you ready to fly, yo J, let's do it."
And Yoongi, "Fly fly, up in the sky, fly fly, get them up high..."
Then Jungkook again, "Take me to the sky-y-y-y... If my wings could fly high yeah yeah."
It took everything I had not to scream. Hearing the work I'd put in that whole day I'd been home from school finally come together, was breathtaking. The rest of the boys saw my excitement, so Namjoon ripped out the earbuds and connected his phone to the Bluetooth in the room so we could all listen together. Their voices were angelic in the song, and it fit every one of their voices so perfectly.
This song was refreshing, new, and seemed as if it could fit the definition of BTS perfectly. I couldn't believe it.
"Higher than, higher than, higher than the sky...
"Spread spread spread my wings, la la la la la la, la la la la la la.
"Spread spread spread my wings, la la la la la la, la la la la la la.
"Wings were made to fly-y, fly-y, fly-y,
"Fly-y, fly-y fly-y, if my wings could fly...
"Wings were made to fly-y, fly-y, fly-y, if my wings could fly."
My heart seemed to race even faster with every passing second of the song. It was so beautiful. I was speechless for the rest of the song, but the members seemed satisfied by my reaction.
When it finally ended, I closed my eyes. "I have no words. No. Words."
"And we only made a third of it," Namjoon reminded me. "I can't wait to sing this as the closing song on tour. Fans are going to love it, so much."
"I... really hope so." I shook my head in disbelief once more, but was eager to move on.
We went to Begin, Jungkook's solo, which only proved what I'd been thinking about him recently. He was really growing up and changing. His song was about how he'd met his hyungs, the other members, and how they'd shown him the way and path through life. It was really heartfelt, I could totally tell. It made me feel so warm.
Lie was Jimin's song. It was... another story. I couldn't wait to see how the choreography was for it, because I knew it was going to fit him so well. The song sounded dark for Jimin, but fitting in a way. It scared me, but then again, in a thrilling way. I couldn't help but feel there was still pain sitting inside of him that he wasn't letting out or telling us about. Though in the end, he seemed happy with the song. I really liked how it sounded, though. It was very new for BTS and I enjoyed listening to it.
Next was Stigma, Taehyung's song. I couldn't really say anything about it, because I was too busy letting out a few tears. It brought me back again to that day in the park when he sang it to me. I ran to him and gave him a huge hug at the end, telling him how much I loved it.
Yoongi's song, First love, was so heartfelt, as per usual for Yoongi. I was almost overwhelmed, because I knew how much his music meant to him, and I also knew he would come out with more songs like it in the future. (A/N: Because of this song, I have been inspired to say my first love was my piano, and still is. BC my real first love was a mess so we ain't gonna think about that.)
I felt the same way about Namjoon's, Reflection. By the time I'd gotten to it, I was overflowing with the deep and thoughtful lyrics, so I couldn't say much about it.
Hoseok's song was one of my favorites, in terms of how it sounded. Not to mention, he promised me an amazing choreography. Hobi professed his love towards his mom, and it again gave me a hint of homesickness, because it was that gentle reminder that the boys had other family to care about before me. All in all, it was okay, because I loved how the song's retro and film sounding song progressed with Hoseok's meaningful voice.
Jin's song, Awake, was beautiful. I could tell how much Seokjin's voice had improved, and it made me so happy. I knew he would feel so good about it, and better about himself. I told him it was a wonderful song, and said it showed off his voice exceptionally.
Then we got to Lost. It was beautiful, but the boys assured me the choreography was going to be perfect, so I became excited for that. Cypher pt.4 was certainly very different, and made me laugh a little, but I liked it the most out of all the Cyphers. Am I Wrong was cool, but it was basically a cover and a remix of a song by Kevin Moore. I liked it a bit more than the original, but of course I was biased. The remix was certainly an improvement.
21st Century Girl made me smile so much, especially when the boys hopped up and started doing the choreography. They'd already decided on it, and I loved it and the song. It was such a fun and playful song, and I couldn't wait to see them sing it with fans.
The last of the new songs was 2! 3!. I was prepared for some tears, but I couldn't stop thinking about the fans as it went on. The lyrics were aimed towards them and how they'd helped the boys along. It made my heart so warm, as I felt how much they cared for their fans. It was adorable.
"Hoping for better days," I recited as soon as it was over.
"You know more than any fan that we have struggles, and hard times. But we just need to keep looking towards the future, on and into where things can get better, hm?" Namjooon explained.
"And," Jin added, guestering a hand towards me, "we hope we can help you have better days too."
"Oh," I said. "That means a lot to me... thank you."
"Of course," Jimin said as he landed next to me on the couch. "Of course, Sujinnie."
"Now to wait for the Music Video, and then you guys will blow up again," I laughed.
"Let's blow up the charts!" Taehyung said.
"And give fans what they've been waiting for," Jimin added.
"And not die of anxiety," Jungkook said with wide eyes.
I listened to the new songs on repeat for the next two hours as the comeback inched closer and closer to us.
About half an hour before the video was set to release, we all turned our attention to Weverse and Twitter, where ARMY's all over the world were starting to talk about it and prepare amongst themselves. It seemed as if my brother's fanbase had grown ten times over night.
We were here, and we were ready.
Midnight was eventually five minutes away, and all eyes were on the TV in the corner of the practice room. The staff we'd asked to stay were crowded around the room, and the boys and I shared two couches as our phones were on, watching the live comments on the MV Premiere, and the screen in front of us.
A staff member came to us and told us the countdown had started, and the music video was set to release right on time. The seconds passed by way too fast, and soon we were counting down the last minute.
My heart was beating way too fast, and I wanted to slow it down so badly. It was going to distract me from taking in the video.
"Five," the room chanted.
I took a look at the boys. Their hard work since 2013 was going to pay off.
"Four."
Sejin had supported the boys since their beginning, and was now giving me a place in life.
"Three."
The boys had so many amazing and dedicated, talented staff in the wonderful company here. Their work was going to pay off, too.
"Two."
And here I was. I did everything I could. I once was a fan, of a sort. But now I was family, and I had a bigger role in the boy's lives, and their music. I could only hope with my whole heart, that we'd really see it all come together, and that I'd done enough. That this comeback was going to change their lives.
"One."
[Play media from up top now, if desired]
I will say it once again: Wings is elite
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! And that you aren't dead from the Dynamite performance and such, cuz I am.
Anyways... school starts this week for me. Darn it. But updates will resume as usual, I just hope my writing stays ahead of my updates. I'll tell you how this completely online stuff goes -_-
Hope you're all safe, happy, and healthy!
See you next week,
-Rose