Ever since Namjoon had been chosen as the leader of the group by Bang PD-nim, he had taken his job very seriously. He was the official spokesperson, the one who the others depended on to give them guidance and inspiration. Namjoon might not have been very experienced back then. He made many mistakes that made the others resent him. But he had learned. He had learned what was required of him and what the others needed after a hard day. It took time, but now, most of the others came to him when they had any problems. They accepted Namjoon's position and his actions.
Even if Namjoon didn't fully understand why people called him a "president" or that nonsense, but he did appreciate it. It made him feel like he was doing a good job.
He tried his best to listen to the others, to their opinions and voices.
So when Hoseok tapped his shoulder after the show to tell him about what had happened when Jin had gotten his nosebleed, he listened. Hoseok gave him a description of what Jin had looked like and about the fear in his eyes. When Namjoon looked into the dancer's face, he could see a different kind of fear in Hoseok's gaze.
He was worried for Jin.
To Namjoon, it was a bit of an annoyance that Hoseok insisted they hold a group meeting at the dorms after the concert. He didn't see any reason why Jin's condition was that concerning, but if Hoseok was worried, then there must be a reason why. Namjoon was tired; he had gone through the final songs just dreaming of getting some rest. Practicing eighteen hours was no easy feat.
But if Hoseok wanted to talk it out, then they would.
The others exchanged worried glances when the dancer had told them about the talk they were going to have. Jin, especially, looked terrified.
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"You wanted to talk about something?" Yoongi asked. His neck pillow was around his head - there was no guarantee he would stay awake for the talk.
They looked strange - some sleep-deprived boys sprawled around their living room to talk.
Hoseok rubbed his hands together, nodding. "There is something important that we all need to talk about."
Jimin and Taehyung glanced at each other.
"I cleaned my room yesterday, don't worry!" Jungkook said.
Namjoon groaned internally. He wanted to sleep. But as he gazed around the room, he noticed the horror in Jin's eyes for the first time. He looked like he was hiding something. The eldest had a faint smile on his face, but it didn't match the look in his eyes. Namjoon looked away. He wondered what Hoseok was going to say.
"No, it's not about you Jungkook." the dancer said in a soft voice. "It's about Jin hyung."
"What?"
"Why? I don't understand. What happened?"
Yells with varying volumes filled the room before Hoseok screamed at them to shut up.
"Let me talk, then you can yell all you want." he lowered his voice. "You remember when he got a nosebleed right before the new song? I went backstage to help him out."
Yoongi nodded. "Yeah, it looked pretty bad." he leaned backward to see Jin. "You alright?"
"Of course. Never been better." the eldest replied.
"For once, why can't you stop lying?!" Hoseok stood up, stalking closer to where Jin sat. His face was red and his hands were shaking. "You're not alright, I can tell you're not alright!"
Jin said nothing, his eyes cast downward to the floor.
Namjoon shot up, going over to Hoseok and touching his shoulders. "Calm down."
After a short break, he added, "Yelling won't help. Tell them why you're worried for Jin hyung."
"Shit, what's going on?" Jungkook asked. He used one finger to sweep his bangs to the side. His gaze went back and forth from Jin to Hoseok and Namjoon.
"He's not eating." the dancer pointed to Jin. "He's losing weight. He's hurting himself-"
"What?"
Jimin glanced at Jin. His eyes revealed the shock and horror he was feeling. The others, excluding Hoseok, gawked at Jin in shock. Yoongi started noticing how Jin had on a thick sweater to hide his frame. Jin had never recovered. He had just gotten worse.
"Hyung don't do this to yourself."
Similar remarks came from the others as they slowly unfroze from their shock.
"You're hurting yourself."
"You are perfect just the way you are hyung."
"Hyung!!"
The loudest voice was Jimin's.
"Hyung, don't do this. I did it before and where did it take me? Nowhere."
The words stung Jin's mind when Jimin said them. Jimin's diet was a terrible memory. Comparing himself to the mochi wasn't a great idea. Jin never intended to take it that far anyway. All he wanted to do was hit 120 pounds. He didn't want to starve himself to death or anything.
"Hyung, why are you doing this?" It was Yoongi this time. "What's going on?"
"Nothing's going on," Jin snapped. The rage was building up inside his chest. He didn't know why the members couldn't just keep their noses in their own business. He was only going to lose until 120 pounds. He wasn't even going to do anything crazy!
"Mind your own business, leave me alone. You have no right to tell me what to do." Jin continued, voice rising. The others didn't say anything; Jungkook only shook his head slowly.
The hairs were starting to rise on Jin's neck. He felt sick. The others looked so worried and concerned for him that he was starting to feel uncomfortable.
After a while Taehyung said, "Hyung, we're saying this for your benefit. We care about you, we don't want you to hurt yourself." he got up from his spot on the couch, coming over to stand next to the eldest. "I really really love you Jin hyung. Please don't hurt yourself. Please, please, please..."
This is getting more annoying by the second...
Yoongi grabbed Jimin by the arm while the others sat in silence, lost in thought. Quietly, the rapper pulled him up and out of the living room. The mochi's face was contorted into a tight-lipped grimace. He wasn't happy hearing heard Jin's predicament. Yoongi took him to the hallway right outside his room - a ways away from prying ears.
"We need to keep an eye on him," the rapper started. When Jimin looked into his eyes, he could see the tiredness in them. Yoongi was exhausted. He stayed up night after night in his studio working hard to make music for the group and, even if he refused to admit it, it was taking a toll on him. Jimin suddenly felt a pang of fear run through him. Jin wasn't eating properly; if he wasn't getting enough rest either, it was an emergency waiting to happen. He made another silent pledge to protect Jin and tell him about the dangers of what he was doing to himself.
"Hyung, I know." Jimin nodded.
Yoongi scrunched his eyebrows. He sighed. "I'm going to start making meals for him, and together, we are going to nurse him back to health." he shook his head when he saw Jimin's eyes widen. "No, I'm going to do this for him. This could get worse if we don't do something. You know how secretive he is, he's just going to hide everything."
Rubbing his face with the back of his sleeve, Jimin mumbled an agreement. There was nothing else he could say, Yoongi would be right. The mochi was finding it somewhat hard to breathe. Jin was falling into the same pattern he had once fallen into - the same maze, the same obstacles. Jimin was handed the map and managed to get out, but who was capable of doing the same for Jin?
"It will be okay Jiminie, don't cry." Yoongi shot a little smile at the mochi as he wiped away the faint tear tracks with his thumb. "Go to bed now, it's really late."
Jimin nodded. His room was right next to where they standing. Entering, he flopped down on his bed. He wrapped himself with his blanket and tried to muffle all the sounds from outside with his hands. He wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight. His mind was alive with the memories of being trapped in the maze of self-loathing. Jin had wandered into that maze too.
Yoongi shuffled into his own room. Usually, he never bothered setting alarms, he knew the others would wake him up, but today he set one for the early morning. He had to make sure he woke up early enough to catch Jin before he ran out the door to go to practice. He would make Jin eat. Somehow or other he would.
A few minutes after he settled in, he heard the door open and close. Footsteps entered his room. More shuffling and footsteps came from the other side. He heard the blanket and sheets being unfolded and then a flop as someone slumped into bed. Jin.
Yoongi wondered if he should bring anything up to talk about but decided against it. It was time to sleep.
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young forever is such a deep and beautiful song, lemme tell you
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