CHAPTER NINETEEN
FIREWORKS
—
"So, are you excited for today?"
Kaspian looked at Atreya in bewilderment. "No, I'm not excited! I'm fucking terrified."
Their school was holding a track meet, one which they held every year, just a week after their break ended, and Kaspian was nervous, to put it lightly. "Ugh, this is so nerve-wracking. Fucking hell. How are you not scared? I'm gonna shit my pants."
"Please don't do that. There are way too many people here, shitting your pants will create a scene."
Kaspian groaned, placing his hands on his neck. "I hate this. Why did I even sign up for track, knowing that I hate the feeling of competing with other people?"
Atreya laughed. "You say this at every track meet. Be glad this is in our own school though, not in some other school with a bunch of random strangers."
"That doesn't make me feel any better! Honestly, how are you not panicking right now?"
Kaspian was supposed to run his eight hundred metre race, and a relay with Atreya and two other dudes. He knew he was good, he knew he had the potential to win, but that didn't stop him from being any less nervous.
Hunching over, he grumbled softly. "I'm going to literally shit myself, I'm so fucking nervous."
"Stop being dramatic, dumbass. Come on, we have to warm up." Atreya lightly tapped Kaspian on the head, offering a hand to him. Kaspian took it, still grumbling about how he didn't want to do this.
Kaspian stared at the sea of people in the stands, and the extremely intimidating eyes of the people who was up against. As he was warming up, he suddenly had a thought which made him gasp involuntarily. Shit, is Rowan going to be here? Wait, of course he's going to be here, Atreya's running too. Oh my god, what if I fuck up in front of him?
"Oi. Knees up. Shut your brain off for a minute."
Kaspian obeyed, focusing on the tracks in front of him. Even though he was still nervous, he maintained light conversation with Atreya, who was so calm that it made Kaspian jealous.
"Wait, so your dad wants you to continue the family business? Even though you don't want to do it?"
Atreya nodded. "Well, it's not so much my dad. He's trying to open himself up, be more liberal and shit, props to him. My mom's a bitch though. Can't stand her."
"At least you'll be going to college soon, right?"
Laughing, Atreya sat down, and Kaspian followed. "Yeah. My mom wants me to go to community college so that I'm close to home. She wants me to be around for Ananya and Aryan, but as much as I love them, I intend on going far, far away."
Kaspian nodded in understanding, tying his shoelaces tight. When he looked up, he saw Coach Adamson's face, staring down at him.
"You're up, son. Go. They're starting your race soon."
The nerves floating around in Kaspian's stomach returned with a vengeance, and he groaned. "Fuck it, I'm not doing it."
Atreya smacked him on the head. "Kaspian, don't be fucking stupid. You say this every single time, and this is my reply every single time too. You're doing it, and you're going to do it well. Now go."
Kaspian got up, stomach churning and shoulders tense. As he made his way to the starting line, he looked over at the stands and saw his friends sitting there, anticipation on their faces. Next to them was Rowan, who made direct eye contact with Kaspian, and gave him a big thumbs up.
And as cliché as it was, the knots in Kaspian's chest loosened just a little.
Crouching down, Kaspian got into his starting position, and as soon as he heard the shrill screech of the whistle, nothing else mattered, just him and the tracks.
Kaspian ran.
—
"Oh my god, you guys were so fucking good!" North wrapped their arms around Kaspian's body, and Kaspian let out an elated laugh, hugging them back.
Rowan was excitedly talking to Atreya, who was beaming. He had a silver medal around his neck, and Kaspian felt the weight of his own two medals— one silver and one gold— around his own neck. Quickly taking out his phone, he sent a message to his mom.
Kaspian -
mom mom MOM I won !!! asjdsjeirebdj
Kaspian -
only my race, but STILL !!!!!!!!
He was pulled in for another hug by Zahra, who was squealing at a volume only fucking dogs could hear. His phone buzzed in his hand, and Zahra pulled away, congratulating Atreya too.
mom💕 -
I'm so proud of u!! Wish I could be there😢😢♥️♥️
Kaspian's heart warmed at the message, and he sent a heart back to her. He was immediately pulled into a conversation with Phoenix, who congratulated him, before taking a picture of him and his medals while he wasn't looking.
"You did well," Rowan said, a smile on his face.
"Yeah? Did I live up to your standards?"
"Hm, maybe. You'll get there eventually, don't worry."
Kaspian laughed, and Rowan pulled him in for a hug, holding him tight. His shoulder blades were digging into Kaspian's arms as the two of them hugged, but Kaspian didn't make any efforts to move, or even make himself comfortable.
"We're going to The Diner, right?" North asked, a pleading look in their eyes.
Kaspian contemplated it for a second. He was incredibly tired, probably too tired to socialise, but he was also on a massive high from winning his race, so he said, "Yeah. It's tradition."
It really was tradition. From the time Kaspian started running, the group had made it a point to go to The Diner after every track meet, or race, no matter the outcome.
"Wait, there's a place that's literally called The Diner and I've even never heard of it?" Rowan questioned, his voice filled with incredulity.
Stella grinned. "You guys should come, it'll be fun."
"If you insist," Atreya said, shrugging.
"I didn't, but yes! Come!"
Once they showered, Atreya and Kaspian made their way to the cars. Phoenix, Stella and Zahra were driving in one car, while the rest of them piled into the other car, North in the driver's seat.
"Don't even be alarmed if I fall asleep on you," Kaspian said to Rowan, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes. "Running is so fucking exhausting. I don't know why we do this."
"Felt that," Atreya called out from the passenger's seat, not playing any music, because North was driving, and it wasn't a long drive to The Diner.
"I wouldn't mind it if you fell asleep on me. You have a small head, so it wouldn't be heavy on my shoulder."
Kaspian gasped. "Fuck off, I have a very normal sized head."
Rowan laughed, covering his mouth. "It's cute! I like your head."
"What the fuck are y'all even saying?" Atreya muttered, as North parked the car outside.
"Shh. That's their way of flirting, let them be."
Kaspian's face heated up, and then he remembered Rowan pointing out that his ears got red when he was embarrassed, which just caused him to blush even more.
Stepping out of the car, Kaspian rolled his neck from side to side, loosening his muscles. His adrenaline had completely worn off, and he was left feeling exhausted.
No. You're going to have a good fucking time now, and you're not going to let your stupid exhaustion ruin it.
The Diner was by no means a small place, but it was almost always full, today being no exception. The sun was slowly setting, giving it a dusky glow, tabletops glistening after being smoothly wiped down, and there was a constant hum of conversation filling the air, voices coming from inside, as well as outside. When Kaspian inhaled, he could smell the grease of the burgers that they served there, making his stomach grumble embarrassingly.
As soon as they entered, they spotted Phoenix, Zahra and Stella sitting at a table for ten, and Kaspian made his way over to them, following North.
"You guys took so long," Zahra commented, opening up her menu.
"Not all of us drive like fucking maniacs," North retorted, pinning their hair back with a bobby pin.
Five minutes passed by in mostly silence, as everyone scanned their own menus, deciding what to order. Kaspian didn't really understand why they did it, everyone always ordered the exact same thing as they always did.
The group ordered what they usually did, and when the waiter got to Rowan, he said, "Fries. Small, please."
"That's it?" The words escaped from Kaspian's mouth before he could stop himself. Fuck. Why the fuck did I say that?
"I— yeah?"
Atreya nudged him in the ribs, and whispered lowly, "You know that's not enough. Order something else with it, yeah?"
The rest of the group was staring at the exchange that was taking place amongst the three of them, confusion clear on their faces. Rowan looked startled, and mildly panicked, and Kaspian decided that he had to do something.
"Hey. Can you make my small burger a large instead? Thanks," Kaspian said to the waiter, and Rowan immediately let out a sigh, probably relieved at the fact that the attention was off him.
The waiter nodded, and left. There was a quick second of absolute silence, but it came as soon as it left, and it seemed like Rowan was back to normal. Atreya whispered something to him, something that Kaspian couldn't hear, and Rowan just nodded, taking a sip of his water.
"Are you okay?" Kaspian asked Rowan, when he was sure that everyone else was in the midst of a conversation.
"Yeah. Yeah, it was just a reflex for me to not order as much, I don't know." He wrung his hands in his laps, picking at his nails. Kaspian wanted to reach out and hold them. "It's hard sometimes— ordering food and shit. But yeah, I'm okay, I'll just get something else later."
Kaspian didn't like the thought of Rowan having to go through anything bad in his life, he definitely didn't deserve to feel bad for ordering food. But Kaspian didn't say anything at all, in the fear of saying something stupid. Or insensitive. Or both.
When their food arrived, Kaspian took his burger, smiling gratefully at the waiter, and saying, "Thank you."
He cut the burger in exactly half, and placed it on another plate, handing it to Rowan. "That's for you."
Rowan didn't say anything in response, but Kaspian could tell that he was trying to prevent himself from crying or something. Jesus fuck.
"Chill. You don't have to get emotional every time I'm a decent human being."
"Fuck off and eat your food," Rowan retorted shortly, but he smiled gratefully at Kaspian.
Just as he was about to dig in, Kaspian's phone vibrated twice, and he took it out, reading the messages.
st ella -
You guys are so fucking cute, I'm going to cry.🥺❤️
nix -
Lmao mood lol y'all make me SICK
kasablanca -
shut up and let me eat pls.
Kaspian looked up from his phone, making eye contact with Stella, who was trying to wiggle her eyebrows, but failing miserably.
Biting into his half of the burger, Kaspian let out an orgasmic groan. "Fuck, I love carbs."
"Yeah, we all do. But no one wants to hear the sounds that you're making while they're eating," Phoenix quipped, taking a single fry off Rowan's plate and eating it. Rowan whacked his hand away, giving him a fake-glare.
"Let me be, I wanna eat my carbs in peace."
Phoenix surprisingly shut up.
Once all of them had finished eating, North offered them some spearmint candy they'd bought at school, popping three in their own mouth. Atreya looked at it in disgust. "Spearmint is gross, I said what I said."
"Take that back, heathen."
Kaspian rolled his eyes at his friend's dramatics, before getting up and saying, "I'm going to the bathroom."
"Have fun," Phoenix stated as Kaspian left.
Zahra rolled her eyes. "Nix, this is getting out of hand. You need to stop wishing people luck, or telling them to have fun in bathrooms."
Just when Kaspian was washing his hands, Rowan walked into the bathroom, and locked his gaze with Kaspian's eyes.
"That was really nice of you to do back there. Thank you," he mumbled, watching as Kaspian dried his hands with a paper towel.
"No worries." Kaspian hummed to himself, almost walking out the door, when Rowan spoke.
"I really fucking like you. Shit. Uh. Okay. Like, I really, really like you, it's paralyzing and so fucking painful. And I desperately want to kiss you. Can I?"
"What?"
"Can I kiss you?"
Kaspian just nodded, brain not processing anything else that was happening in that moment.
Heat rose from Kaspian's stomach to his chest, as Rowan took three small steps closer. Kaspian felt as though his senses were dialed up, and he was painfully aware of Rowan's breathing against his face, Rowan's eyes gazing into his own, Rowan's hands slowly moving towards Kaspian's face, Rowan's body so close to Kaspian's that he could barely breathe, Rowan, Rowan, Rowan.
He gently touched their lips together, and Kaspian immediately reciprocated, hands reaching up to tangle in Rowan's hair, heart pounding at a rapid speed. Rowan's lips were only slightly chapped, something that Kaspian found endearing, and Kaspian tugged softly at Rowan's hair, despite himself.
"Is that okay?" Kaspian mumbled against Rowan's lips, eyes still half shut.
Rowan laughed softly, and said, "Yeah. That's more than okay," before crashing their lips together, rougher this time. Spearmint, Kaspian thought, and then, Thank fuck for North.
Rowan pulled back, and then before Kaspian was even done taking a breath, he kissed Kaspian's jaw, leaving a trail of kisses all the way down to his neck. Kaspian moaned softly, and then blushed after realising what he had just done. Oh my god, we're in the bathroom.
"We're stopping. We're stopping," Rowan said, pulling away completely, pupils dilated, and chest heaving. His hair was disheveled, and Kaspian nearly melted at the sight of him like that. Fuck.
"Okay."
"Yeah."
Rowan took one look at Kaspian, and then pressed a soft kiss on his lips again, and Kaspian felt like he was kissing him for the first time all over again, hips pressing against each other, as their lips moved in sync. Kaspian could feel his skin pulsating with electricity, his legs so weak that he could barely keep himself upright.
Some dude who looked to be in his early twenties suddenly walked into the bathroom, whistling to himself, and the two of them jumped apart, breathless and panting.
"Go ahead," said the dude, once he finished washing his hands. "Mad respect to you two." He walked out of the bathroom, and Kaspian and Rowan shared a look between each other before bursting into laughter.
Calming themselves down, Kaspian finally let out a content sigh, and smiled.
"I hope that smile on your face is a good thing," Rowan said.
"Yeah. Definitely a good thing."
Rowan gave him a small smile, and when Kaspian smiled back, his face broke out into a full grin. His smile. That's it. I could stare at it forever.
"Well. Holy fucking shit."
"Yeah." Holy fucking shit indeed.
—
+2567
AN: calm before the storm luvs x
anyway! lmk how y'all are doing/how your day has been bc i like reading about it :) thank u all for reading !!💕