21st November, 2012
Tuesday ( Sweden )
Harry has got to be the second most annoying person on Earth (the first has got to be Rebecca Black honestly). He keeps tagging along everywhere me and Liam go, never giving us any privacy whatsoever, trying to seduce me by taking off his shirt every 2 seconds or flashing me that perfect smile, making these really suggestive, HIGHLY unappropriate comments and subtly pointing out to Liam that he and I kissed (thank God Liam doesn't really notice). He's a homewrecker!! And the worst thing is he knows he's right on the fact that I liked kissing him and I can't do a bloody thing about him trying to homewreck my relationship with Liam unless I want Liam to know and then I won't have a almost, sort-of boyfriend I'm insanely in love with anymore!
God. I hate him. That's just BLACKMAIL. And sometimes I feel like screaming "I don't care if you tell Liam, JUST STOP" but I can't because ever since Liam told me he loved me in the airport (sort of, not really the real thing), you can't stop hoping he might really mean it or something and we've definitely grown.
God I hate Harry. But he's just so sexy. DAMMIT. No.
Sorry I'll start from the beginning. It was a lazy Sunday afternoon and even though Liam was supposed to be in an interview with some Toronto radio station, he pretended he was throwing up to management so he didn't have to go (it honestly KILLED his conscience to do it, he kept wanting to blurt out "I'M LYING" but Zayn kept hitting him everytime he tried). It was actually kind of funny really to see him try to lie because he really was horrible at it. It wasn't natural at all, absolutely. Niall was trying to muffle his laughing in the next room. When he hung up, he kept asking us "Should I call management back and tell them I feel better?" and was rewarded with slaps.
Harry even threatened to start a jar where he collected 10 pounds from Liam everytime he tried to tell the truth and he rolled around on the sofa holding his head in pure anxiety. "What if they found out I'm lying?" he asked.
"What are they going to do, ask you to show them your puke?" Niall asked, rolling his eyes. "Demand you throw up in front of them?"
"Errr... maybe not," he said. The whole reason he did it was to be with me (because the whole hospital incident really 'woke him up' about how little time he really was spending with me, how sweet ). He grabbed his jacket and I was putting on my really cute pink cardigan that I got from TopShop that's only 10 pounds which is a real deal.
He insisted we went walking and we somehow ended up in this 'boutique walk' that's apparently really famous in Toronto and of course, I took a ton of photos in the way. Me and Liam definitely took a whole lot of photos and there was a few of him in his white shirt, jeans and leather jacket and he just looks so hot that I sneaked when he was walking to look at a window.
I walked into Prada because I wanted something in Prada for years. And they have all these stuff you can't have in London!!Score! I found this really gorgeous amazing creamy white toga-style dress with gold accents and they have these amazing shoes that goes really well with it and a matching bag! I didn't even KNOW about the bag. I was trying on the shoes, and they were almost affordable (okay they costs about 900 pounds which is a month's rent but it was so adorable I couldn't give it up).
"Those look good," Liam said, but really I don't think he was paying much attention because he found out Prada's got really good belts and wallets and he decided he needed a new wallet.
"I'll take them," I told the assistant. "I just need a really quick wee. Liam I'm heading off to the bathroom for a minute, okay?" He was too busy choosing a wallet. "Liam? Liam!" He turned. "I'm off to the bathroom okay?"
"Yeah... yeah," he said turning back to the wallets. Prada's actually got really nice bathrooms with mosaic tiles and really clean toilets, unlike half of them in London. When I got back out and maybe I stopped a bit to look at Accesorize and then decided to get this really nice pair of earrings. When I reached Liam, he was paying for something in a big Prada paper bag.
"Did you finally choose a wallet?" I asked him. He smiled at me and handed me the bag. I took a peek inside and I can see the perfect dress, the toga-style one I wanted but was too expensive so I put it back. Here it was. For ME. I mean he handed me the bag so obviously it's mine unless Liam planned on wearing a dress himself or something.
"This is so expensive! OhmyGod Liam no this isn't for me or I swear to God... I told you I didn't want any more presents from you. This is wayy too much. I can't. Liam, you swore! God, I told you or... I'll break up with you," I said. But I was totally joking by the way.
"You can't break up with me," Liam told me, pretending to look all arrogant and proud. "I'm Liam Payne."
"Oh really? I'm Lucy Hale and I can break up with whoever I like," I said, pretending to act all insulted and turned to stomp away. Liam grabbed me by the waist, spun me around and kissed me, one firm hand on my back as he leaned my back backwards in those ballroom-style moves.
*
We headed back to the hotel after a long romantic walk, plenty of kissing and a little cafe stop. The cafe is the most perfect little secret garden place I've ever been to. It's very private, surrounded by these hedges and roses and just... God, it was beautiful.
For some reason, our conversations switched to Liam's childhood and all that and then to my childhood. He asked me about my childhood, growing up and all that and I told him. "I was born in London, but I grew up mostly in this really nice big farm in Doncaster. We moved to our current house when I was nine. Dad got a new job and only then did we start actually having money. We had this big farm but we were really poor. We didn't have turkey and presents at Christmas because we couldn't afford it, so we had chicken instead and little treats from the candy store to make up for presents. We couldn't afford a tree to decorate but we had this tiny fake Christmas tree we sprayed with pine scent on it. Mum used to get us tiny boxes of chocolates with 5 pieces and we had one each and tiny candies.
I have two siblings, my older brother and a sister that was a year older. Me and Tasha, that's my sister, we were so alike and we were both really tiny as kids. People used to think we were twins everywhere we went, and for a long time it was so fun to dress up exactly the same and pull pranks on people. My brother Michael was your typical troublemaking, obnoxious but still lovable older brother and me and Tash used to pick on him together. He was the only boy and used to beg Mum for a baby brother because he was so tired of being bullied by girls all the time. But Mike actually turned out really well because he grew up with girls so he knows how to treat them right or we would beat him up. He used to pull practical jokes on us and we used to have prank wars all the time.
I remember we had horses, all of us had 3 named Lightnight, Star and Quickfeet. Lightning was my horse and he was this really old, massive and really gentle horse. I'm actually really good at riding, I love horses. We had horse races and played with the ducks and sheep. It was really fun, we could run wherever we wanted to, do whatever we wanted... I remember I hated school so Mum used to not let me ride on Lightning until I finished all my homework. Mike liked to climb to the barn's roof and swing on this rope, then splash into the creek. He broke his foot once and ever since then, he stopped.
One Christmas, Mum went all day and we got so bored we decided to throw a slumber party in the barn. It had this cool platform upstairs that we jumped off until Mum told us a snake would swallow us whole and he lived in the haystack we landed on. We got some paint and wanted to paint the walls pink but we spilled it and Mike went belly sliding on the floor. We got all sorts of foods and got the stereo blasting on full volume.
We got this wooden table as a pretend 'ship' and used a tablecloth as a fake mast. We dragged it down to the frozen pond and rowed on it, pretending we were pirates. We were all on it when it crashed through the ice and we ended up swimming in freezing cold water. Mike was the only one who could swim and he dragged us both to the side. Mum freaked out when she saw us all dripping wet and cold. We all got high fevers and Mike got really sick. He died at the age of 12.
All of us missed him so much, he was such a loud, lively boy the house sounded so empty and silent without him. That year we moved to London because the farmhouse reminded us too much of him. Mike had a dog named Rover and we sold him to another family. It wasn't easy. Mum cried for months and we used to wonder how much Mike would enjoy all the treats we could afford now that we're richer.
Dad changed to being really overprotective and strict because he thought he caused Mike's death because he let us do whatever we wanted. Tasha got so sick of Dad, she moved out to live with her boyfriend and she had this motorcycle accident with him. She got a little crazy in the head and now dates 40 year old married perverts. Dad blamed himself for not teaching her properly and turned all his attention to me, hoping I won't turn out like Tasha."
I took a deep breath. I think Liam was just processing that as he sipped his coffee. After that, we changed topics and talked about something less depressing. Honestly, ever since Mike's death, none of us have been happy.
We walked around Toronto a lot and surprisingly, there was no papparazi but a lot of fans. All of them were really nice though, except for this one girl who accused me of seeking for attention that time I fell in Paris. Liam was really nice and told her politely I tore a ligament in my leg and had to have surgery. That shut her up. HAHA. It was just a really beautiful city and a great day with the sun shining.I'm holding on to the most perfect outfit in the whole entire world thanks to Liam. The moment we walked into the hotel room (we managed to get a penthouse with 3 bedrooms so we all shared), it's silent serenity.
I ran a bath with scented candles and lavender bath salts and this really good book I picked up in Paris. Liam went off to take a nap on the sofa because they've been so jet lagged lately and the time zones are so different, he can't sleep at night because it's practically noon in usual London time. The stupid doors aren't able to lock so I shoved a big suitcase against the door in case any of the lads walked in because that would be probably the most awkward situation in my entire life.
I stepped out of the bath to our room (I shared a bedroom with twin beds with Liam because yes, we've gotten more serious and no, I don't freak out about him possibly seeing my embarrassing pjs or me snoring because I know he won't mind and he probably loves my Minnie Mouse pajamas). I opened the door to Harry digging through Liam's side of the dresser.
"Oh sorry," he said, eyeing my robes.
"It's okay," I said, because I'm all covered up and it's not like he saw me naked or anything. "What are you looking for?"
"Liam's charger. Mine went missing."
"I think it's in that suitcase in the small side compartment on the left," I told him. He unzipped Liam's bag and found it. "I packed it for him, because he's always forgetting stuff." I opened my suitcase for my new cute red polka dot dress and some shoes.
"Can we talk?" Harry asked suddenly. He looked so nervous.
"Can I change at least?" I suggested. He nodded, looking down quickly. I stepped into the supposedly walk-in closet it's joined to our room, but it's just empty rows of racks. I changed quickly into my dress and my flats and brushed my curly hair out. God I think it's something about the air here because my hair has never looked so good naturally. It's usually a total monster. I sweep on some mascara and applied some lip gloss. I walked out into the room and Harry's nervously perched on Liam's bed.
"What's going on?" I asked, sitting on my bed. "Is this about the kiss in Paris?"
"Yeah... sort of," he said. I waited for him to continue. "Lucy I really like you and call me crazy but don't tell me you didn't like that kiss. It's not too late to back out of it now, Lucy and I just know Liam's not the right guy for you. Being with you... it's never felt so right in my life. I want you and maybe more than Liam does. He doesn't deserve someone like you, you're in your whole league and you're complete opposites. He'll treat you right but Lucy you deserve something MORE than just a gentleman."
"I'm in love with Liam. That kiss was a one-time deal. Yes, I liked it. Only because back then I wasn't absolutely 100% sure about Liam and now I am. Harry, I've never been happier in my life and it may feel right to you, but being with Liam is the right thing for ME I know it is. I love him. And he loves me back. We've been growing stronger everyday and I know this hurts but I'll never be the right girl for you, Harry."
"Yes you are, stop saying that. I've never felt so in love with anyone else," he said fiercely.
"Harry, this is never going to happen. It's Liam, it's ALWAYS been him even from day one."
"Lucy, you don't know what you want. Liam can't surprise you the way I can, he's so by the book! Don't you want someone who'll knock you off your feet?" He stepped closer to me. "If I was a bidder, I wouldn't exactly bet on Liam to win."
"He's your best friend, aren't you supposed to be supportive? Why can't you just accept that I've found someone?"
"I am being supportive, I have for the past 2 weeks and it's killing me to watch because you guys aren't made for each other. WE ARE. Lucy, can't you see it?" he cried, clearly getting frustrated. "You two don't match!"
"Harry, this is over. We are over, it never happened and it never will. I'm sorry but I'm with Liam and it's been amazing. I know it hurts you and it's killing me because you're one of the nicest, sweetest people I know but you deserve so much BETTER. I'm can't live up to your level, you're probably the most sought-after 18 year old in the world. Liam is the perfect fit for me, just please can you be happy for me? Happy for US?"
"It's not fair that Liam gets whatever he wants."
"He spent his childhood in a hospital, he was born almost dead and he was rejected 22 times then dumped the next day. How is that bloody getting everything he wants? He got everything because he worked for it, and he deserves everything he's got. You're such a hypocrite, Harry! You're acting like a spoilt baby that doesn't get what he wants. God Liam's an amazing guy and he's also your best friend. Maybe I didn't pick you for a REASON."
"What are you trying to say?" he demanded.
"That maybe you should go look in the mirror and check out what's wrong with yourself before you start giving that attitude," I snapped back.
He ran a hand through his hair. "You know what? Maybe I will." He stepped closer and I stared into his green eyes, daring him to just take one more step closer. I may be tiny but there's no way I'm backing down. "Did you ever think, that maybe you might want somebody different?" he asked, lowering his voice I could barely hear it.
"No. I've got everything I want, thanks." He leaned in super close and I almost thought he was going to - He pressed his lips to mine, urgent and rough. I tried pushing him away but he wrapped his arms around my back, forcing me to stay there. Damn he is so strong! I was struggling with all my might and I wished maybe I took that free gym membership they offered so I'll be in better shape to kick his ass.
"Lucy?" someone said blankly and Harry froze, letting me go. I stumbled backwards and tripped, landing on my butt. I looked up to see Liam's shocked, horrified face staring back at me and Harry.
"Liam, I can explain," I stammered. "I didn't do anything, Harry -"
"What. The hell?" Liam said, pronouncing each syllable one by one in slow motion. His eyes flickered to Harry. "I thought you were my best friend!" he shouted angrily. He turned and walked away.
Shit. "LIAM!" I screamed helplessly, trying to get up. The cast has been taken off but my stupid ankle never really did work right anymore. If I walked too long, it hurt and somehow I didn't manage to get to my feet properly. "LIAM STOP!" I yelled and stumbled to my feet. I ran out the door to an empty living room. Shit shit shit. I ripped open the front door and slammed my fist on the elevator button. I watched it desperately as the numbers on the screen told me the elevator was reaching the lobby and I don't think I could handle the stairs down 14 floors. What if I fell? DAMMIT. I called Liam on my phone, but obviously he didn't pick up. I didn't expect him to either.
Finally, the elevator reached my floor and it felt like pure torturous hours as the lift finally reached the lobby. He was nowhere to be seen by now and I stumbled to the doorman. "Excuse me did you see a guy running here a second ago with brown hair and -" I stammered.
"Yes, he took a cab," he said.
"Where did he go?"
"I'm afraid I don't know," he said, smiling apologetically. Fuck. I called Liam again and again, leaving frantic voicemails. "Liam I know you're mad but it's not what you think. Harry kissed ME. I didn't do anything! Please. You have to believe me, Liam. Call me, please." "Liam just please call me. It didn't mean ANYTHING! I swear!"
I can't believe this is happening to me, on my third last day of being here with the boys and this is just so... horrible.
I sat there on the steps of the Milan hotel waiting for Liam for an hour, crying my eyes out. God this probably the worst thing that's ever happened in my life ohmyGod fuck Harry. What is WRONG with that kid?! He clearly couldn't take no for an answer, goddammit. I sat there with my head in my hands just going "fuck fuck fuck" the entire time. My phone buzzed to life with a message. From Liam! Oh thank God.
I can't believe you would do that. Just go away Lucy and I don't want to talk to you ever again.
Shit this is probably the worst... I felt a hand land on my shoulder and I looked up to see Niall sitting down next to me. "Are you okay, love?" he asked and all I did was break down and cry even more, burying my face in Niall shoulder and he hugged me close. The air was so cold and I was probably freezing to death but I couldn't even feel a thing because I was just... numb. This isn't happening, it's a bad dream.
God just please let it be a bad dream. Niall gently helped me up to my feet and put his jacket around my shoulders. Somehow I hobbled up to my room and I just sat there and cried for a long time in the dark on my bed. At one point Louis came into my room and offered me some ice cream and lots of tissues and tried to get me to stop crying.
"Thanks," I said, my voice sounding like some alien. "Is Liam back yet?"
"No, we don't know where he is," Louis said. Lou stayed with me for a bit, but I was too busy crying my eyes out and I think he didn't know what to do. They left soon for concert rehearsals and all that and then I decided I'm leaving. There was clearly no point in me staying here any longer and Liam would of course, refuse to talk to me. This was all Harry's bloody fault. God. If I was in Liam's shoes I bet I would refuse to talk to me too.
So I packed up all my stuff and left a long note for the lads about pretending I needed to leave early for some 'family emergency'. I took a cab to the airport and I was determined not to cry in the plane or anything until I actually reached home.