CHAPTER NINE
CRASH
—
Only Zahra, Phoenix, and Atreya actually wanted to swim.
"Just come in for like ten minutes," Zahra said, trying to persuade Stella to enter the water.
Stella gave her an adamant shake of her head. "Hell fuckin' no, I'm freezing just looking at the lake."
"You're a bore. Kas? Rowan?"
Rowan gave her a grim smile. "If you want me to become a human icicle, sure."
Kaspian noticed Rowan's hands were trembling again, like they did sometimes, and he decided to make a bold decision. "Give me your hands."
Rowan held his hands out for Kaspian, and he took them in his own hands, wincing at how cold they were. "We're going to have to get you gloves or something. What the fuck?"
Chuckling, Rowan replied, "My hands are just always really cold. And really fucking pale. If someone saw only my hands and no other part of my body, they'd assume I was white or something."
Kaspian grinned, letting Rowan's hands go after realising that they can't be warmed up anymore. He turned to North, who was sitting on the ground, warming themself up. North couldn't swim, nor did they like to swim, so Zahra didn't even bother to ask them if they wanted to get in the lake.
"Are y'all hungry?" Phoenix suddenly asked.
Just at that moment, Kaspian's stomach decided to make an animalistic growl, causing North to let out a loud laugh.
"Clearly Kas is hungry. We have ramen and we have some biscuits. Take your pick." North started to stand up, Stella following them inside the cabin. Rowan got up, dusting himself off and he gave Kaspian his hand to help him up. Rowan pulled him, and Kaspian went stumbling forward, not even having to use his own strength to get up.
"How the fuck did you do that?"
"What?" Rowan asked, as they made their way inside.
"Pull me up like that."
"I may look like a twig, but I still have some sort of muscle." Rowan rolled up the sleeve of his jumper and flexed his non-existent biceps.
Kaspian looked at him dryly. "Looks great."
Rowan beamed at him, pushing his sleeve back down. The two of them entered the kitchen, and found North taking out a bunch of bottles. Alcohol. Ew.
"What are you doing?" Kaspian questioned, opening a packet of chocolate biscuits and offering them to Rowan. He shook his head and took his own packet of normal salted biscuits.
"Checking the stash."
Stella rolled her eyes, and lightly smacked North on the head. "We have enough. Kas isn't even going to drink."
"I'm not drinking either," Atreya commented, entering the cabin with Phoenix and Zahra.
"Athletes are so boring." Stella sighed, but Kaspian knew she was joking. "But also, y'all are very useful at parties when everyone else is drunk, so. Guess it works out either way."
Atreya hummed, shaking the water out of his hair like a fucking wet dog. "I don't think it's an athlete thing, to be honest. Tons of kids on the team drink and smoke up and shit. My parents have just instilled it in me that I shouldn't drink or do drugs and shit, and I guess it just stuck."
"That's valid!" North exclaimed.
Phoenix yawned, and then said, "I'm going to shower. Lake water is nasty." And then he looked directly at Zahra and Stella, causing North to groan.
"Oh my god, you guys are the horniest people I've ever known. It's literally three o'clock. It's the afternoon."
Stella shrugged, washing her bowl in the sink. Zahra had already left, going into their room.
North sighed. "I'll wash your bowl, just... go. Shoo."
Giggling, Stella blew them a kiss and headed into the room. Atreya just watched her leave, a mild look of concern on his face.
"These walls are soundproof, right?"
—
It was just past nine, when North suggested that they play a game.
Kaspian was washing everyone's bowls of ramen, something he found therapeutic, when Rowan asked them, "What game?"
"We have alcohol. We have water. That calls for Never Have I Ever."
Zahra rolled her eyes, snorting. "The last time I played that game was when I was fourteen."
"Good! It's been four years, meaning that we should play," North declared, already grabbing the bottles of beer.
After drying all the dishes, Kaspian took two bottles of water, tossing one to Atreya.
"Can you get me one too?" Rowan asked him.
Trying to conceal his surprise, he took another bottle of water for Rowan, and sat down in the middle of him and Phoenix. Phoenix had already cracked open his bottle, taking a swig from it.
North giggled. "Save some for the game, I think you might need it."
Taking a pencil out of their pocket, North placed it in the centre of their circle. "Okay, so if the tip of the pencil lands on you, you have to say something you've never done."
They spun the pencil once, causing it to go flying out of their circle.
"Hmph. Okay, we'll just go clockwise, I'll start! Never have I ever had sex," North said, grinning deviously.
Everyone drank, except Atreya.
"You've never had sex?"
"Nix, it's normal. Not having sex is normal. North is asexual, they don't have sex. Atreya is whatever the fuck he is, and he doesn't need to have sex. We're in highschool. It's normal," Stella spoke slowly, enunciating each word.
"Straight, by the way. Heterosexual. Not ace," Atreya interjected, giving Stella a grateful smile.
It was Atreya's turn to go next, and he thought about it for a while, before saying, "Honestly, there's not much I have done. Never have I ever skipped class."
Everyone drank to that.
"Jesus, Atreya." Rowan took a gulp of his water. "You're never going to drink in this game."
"It's okay, being disciplined and shit is hot," North stated, winking at Atreya.
It was Rowan's turn, and it seemed like he had something ready. "Never have I ever masturbated in a public place."
Stella and Zahra looked at each other, before doubling over in laughter. "Does a bathroom count as a public place?"
"Wait, what?" Phoenix asked, clearly confused.
"Okay, so, Stella and I had just started dating. Like we were probably a month into the relationship. And we were Freshmen, yeah? So we were really fucking horny. It was Stella's birthday, and she looked way too fucking hot, it should have been considered illegal to look that hot. I don't know what it was that she saw in me that day, but she says that she was hella turned on by me too. So, in the middle of her birthday lunch, Stella and I went to the bathroom. But we didn't really know what the fuck to do to each other, so we decided to just jerk off instead, while watching each other," Zahra recounted, a smile playing on her lips.
Phoenix gasped. "I've never heard this story!"
Stella kissed him on the cheek. "Sorry. It's embarrassing." She sighed. "Anyway, someone came into the bathroom, and saw us jerking off to each other. It was so fucking mortifying."
There was a brief silence before someone said, "Kaspian! Your turn. Tell us what you haven't done."
Pondering on it, Kaspian drew a blank. What haven't I done?
"Uh... Never have I ever gotten pulled over?"
Stella, Zahra and Rowan drank to that.
"Huh. Would you look at that?" Rowan said with a teasing tone.
Zahra laughed, looking at the two of them. "And that's on?"
"Systemic fuckin' racism!" Stella exclaimed.
"Mhm."
Letting out a muffled yawn, Kaspian blinked his eyes tiredly. He was already getting sleepy, despite it being just past ten thirty.
"Are you tired already? It's literally ten thirty!"
"Fuck off," Kaspian groaned. "Phoenix, your turn."
The game went on until half past midnight, and by the end of it, Kaspian was struggling to keep his eyes open. Phoenix and Zahra were completely shit-faced, and Stella and North were only tipsy. All of them (minus North) went to their room, and were asleep as soon as they got into bed.
Kaspian and Rowan cleared the floor, picking up the empty bottles, and throwing them away. Atreya had already gone to the room, claiming he had to shower. North was fast asleep on the couch near the kitchen.
"God, I'm fucking exhausted."
Rowan laughed, rubbing his eyes. "Me too. Can't wait to go the fuck to sleep."
There was a moment of silence, before Kaspian asked, "Do we swear too much? Is there a thing like too much swearing?"
"You do. I don't," Rowan said cheekily.
"Fucker," Kaspian mumbled, going to their room where Atreya was already asleep on one of the beds.
"Wait, should I wake North up?" Kaspian suddenly asked.
"Nah. They look like they're comfortable, we'll let them sleep."
Rowan got into bed with Atreya, and Kaspian slept in the other bed, leaving enough space for North in case they woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to sleep in bed.
"Night," Rowan said softly, the glow of his phone illuminating the room.
Kaspian hummed in response. Closing his eyes, he drifted off into a restless sleep.
—
Kaspian woke up to screaming.
It took him a minute to realise it was his own screams, as memories of his nightmare came rushing back to him.
Fuck. Shit, fuck, fuck.
"Kaspian?" He heard someone speak, but he wasn't completely sure if it was Atreya or Rowan.
Staggering out of bed, he nearly fell over as he rushed to the bathroom, nausea overtaking him.
Switching on the light, Kaspian looked at himself in the mirror- he was pale, a sheen of sweat coating his face.
Why the fuck did I have a nightmare? What the fuck is happening?
His stomach suddenly turned, and he quickly leaned over, gagging into the toilet, as his chest ached. His throat burned as bile rose up, and he had to prevent himself from throwing up.
"Kas? What's wrong? Do you need something?" Atreya muttered, leaning against the door of the bathroom.
Kaspian felt exposed. Caught, like a deer in headlights. "I'm fine, it's fine. Go back to sleep. I'm fine. I'm fine."
"Sounds like you're fine," Rowan stated, standing behind Atreya.
Kaspian felt like there were caterpillars eating at his stomach, at his chest, ones that would never turn into butterflies. He closed his eyes, leaning on the edge of the toilet. There are probably so many germs on this toilet right now.
"Please. Leave me alone," Kaspian mumbled. His stomach lurched again, and he dry heaved into the toilet, eyes involuntarily closing from exhaustion. His t-shirt was damp with sweat, and he yanked it over his head, removing it completely.
He heard footsteps, and forced himself to open his eyes.
This shouldn't have fucking happened. Why am I having nightmares now? Fuck, just shoot me in the fucking head.
"Atreya's gone back to sleep. Got you some water though," Rowan's silhouette said. Kaspian raised his head up, taking the water that Rowan was holding out for him.
"You okay?" Rowan asked, and then his eyes fell on Kaspian's back, which was glistening with sweat. "Shit, what the fuck happened to your back?"
Kaspian nodded weakly, before saying, "Got into that fight in school with Brandon, right? Bruises are still there." Kaspian pushed himself off the floor, getting up onto his feet, while using the wall for support.
"Are you going back to sleep?" Rowan asked, exhaustion evident on his face.
"Can't," Kaspian croaked out, grabbing a thick jacket- he was sure it was Stella's or Zahra's- and he stepped out of the cabin.
Rowan did the same, causing Kaspian to stare at him. He looked hazy, it was just past three o'clock in the morning, and everything looked like a blur to Kaspian. The back of his head glowed, the harsh white of the light outside contrasting the colour of his figure.
"What are you doing?"
Rowan sat down beside him on the gravel. "You can't sit out here alone. I'm sitting here with you."
Kaspian didn't have the energy to argue with him, so he didn't say anything at all.
Silence fell over them, as the two of them stayed outside, sitting side by side, without saying a word, until the sun started to rise.
—
+2100
AN: i don't kno how i feel about this chapter ,,,, but anyway, thank u all for commenting and voting and shit🥺 reading everyone's comments makes me so mf happy, so thank u💕