Last Day of Ramadan.🌻
Today I've learnt that everything takes time to change either for the better or the worse. Therefore, I should never rush anything or except any of my self-sabotaging behaviors to stop in a blink of an eye. Even a month is incredibly too fast for me to change any behavior and create a new one. The main thing I should focus on is being consistent as well as never giving up even when I mess up too many times, otherwise I won't ever change and I will eventually hate myself for the person I've become or for not trying hard enough. I'll slow down from now on and take my time getting to know myself better and forgiving all the wrongs I've done. I think it's because the last couple of years, including this one, I've been avoiding getting to know/ acknowledge my feelings and thoughts. I've been filling my thought with other people's opinions or POVs by either watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts, researching psychology and trying to relate to everything I listen to or read. This, I think, has caused a minor identity crisis. I need to listen more to my own opinions and thoughts and see why I think or feel as I do and if it's coming from a good place or not and try to correct what doesn't lineup with my core beliefs and values but has just been slipping into my subconscious due to my overconsumption of content.
I'll give/ allow forgiveness and grace for myself from now on; however, at the same time, I won't/ can't let go of my goals or objectives. For example, I have 6 research papers due before the 11th of June, and their start date was almost a month ago, so I've already given myself a huge break during the month of Ramadan because I do think I needed it, but I can't procrastinate no longer than this. I have to push myself in this case, but not in losing weight or singing or even learning Korean.
I hope you too go easy on yourself because no one needs any more stress than what we're already under due to the epidemic. Please be forgiving and loving towards yourself and others. Stay healthy and calm. 🌸🤍