Previously...
Elmer: *grabbing blindly at something in the snow* *hugs it*
Elmer:
ELmer:
ELRme:
ELRK:
E:
Eaewv:
*()9124098051-529852 Entity "Elmer" not found 1839204829348423()*
I wish...
I wish...
I wish this ain- wasn't real.
I wish it ain't.
------------------
Elmer?
Elmer?
Is he-
No. He cant-
SHUT UP!
ELMER FOR THE LOVE OF *bleep*ING GOD WAKE UP
THAT'S NOT NICE SKYE
ARE YOU THE NEW ELMER?!
YOU'RE MAKING ALBERT CRY
---------------------
Elmer: *waking up* Huh?
Skye: *about to smack him* Oh look. He's okay.
Elmer: Wha-
Albert: *hugs him and kisses him*
Wait. Am I back to normal?
Skye: Yeah. I think.
Yes! Anyway, wh234ile Skye, Albert, Elmer, and Jack are over here, and were 2345previously thinking Elmer was dead, Tater is trying to help 2345 Race and Spot talk through some... things. We are not going to intrude on their conversation.
Jojo: You're still glitching out a bit. What's your name anyway?
I don't have one.
Jojo: Where's Applez? She told me to name whoever I found without a name Samantha.
Skye: *facepalms*
Tater: *leaving Race and Spot alone* No, but where is she? Wheres- This isn't everybody. *bleep*
Silence
Skye: That's alarming.
Tater: Where's Davey?
Tots: *digging up sand* WHERE'S LES?!
???: Well, you could wish for him back.
Skye: Who are-
Tater: Don't. It's-
Genie: The genie of the lamp! *shaking Tots' hand* Nice to meet ya-
Tater: Pleasure. And no, we're not wishing for them back.
Genie: Oh no, not you. *pointing at Elmer* Him.
Tater: *sighs* Elmer, what did you do?
Elmer: Well, I hugged something, and then said that I wished for that to not be real.
Tater: Well, before we go dance with a genie, lets check who's here.
~A few minutes later~
Tater: So, we're missing George, Jack, Davey, Les, Applez, Hayden, Blush, Spromeo, Katherine, Smalls, and Sniper!
Skye: Poor Applez and Hayden.
Tater: If they come back singing Heathers, we blame Davey.
Tots: NO! HE'S MY FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW!
Tater: Woah, calm down there.
Skye: So, what do we do now?
Tater: Blame Davey?
Skye: *sighs* I'M DEALING WITH *counting* 11, 12, 12 CHILDREN HERE! WHY?!
Race: Actually, it's 13.
Skye: WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO COUNT?!
Race: You.
Skye: *screams and faceplants into the sand*
Tater: Well, at least your tongue is better.
Race: *shrugs*
Genie: *looking at us impatiently* So, kid, ya gonna make a wish?
Elmer: A wish? Like, anything?
Genie: Well, everything except-
Elmer: *hugging the lamp* I WISH FOR A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF ELMER'S GLUE!
Genie: *kind of confused* Ok then. *gives him a button that makes Elmer's glue appear when he presses it*
Elmer: *starts pressing the button over and over again*
Elmers Glue bottles start falling out of the sky, miraculously never hitting Elmer. But-
Tater: OW! WHY IS IT RAINING ELMERS GLUE?!
Elmer: *pressing the button so fast it starts to smoke*
Tater: I hate genies...
Elmer: *holding a broken button* Aww... It broke.
Albert: *hugging Elmer* Its okay El, we can make more later-
Tater: Please tell me that-
Tots: While mating?
Everyone stares concernedly at Tots.
Tots: That's what all animals-
Tater: *laughs nervously* WE ARE NOT DISCUSSING THAT RIGHT NOW!
Tots: But they-
Tater: *dragging Tots away* Yes, they're old enough, but they are also a bunch of hor-
Skye: I may be fine with that, BUT THAT'S A CHILD YOU'RE TALKING TO!
Tater: FINE!
Genie: So, what's your third wish kid?
Elmer: *hugs the lamp* I wish...
Tater: Oh no.
Elmer: TO GIVE HENRY A SANDWICH!
Henry: YES THANK YOU YOU'RE THE BEST! *hugs Elmer*
Tater: And we wasted our last wish. Great.
Elmer: But Henry needed a sandwich...
Tater: So-
The genie then goes back into his lamp and yeets himself far, far, far, far, afertag, afefamgm,w hw-
Jojo: SAMANTHA!
I'm okay! -far away.
Tater: Shoot.
Crutchie: Okay! *grabs a gun he had hidden somwhere*
Tater: NO NO I'M NOT IMMORTAL *runs away screaming*
Crutchie: But you said-
Race: *giggling*
Skye: *facepalms*
Tater: So, how are we gonna get back?
Skye: I don't know.
Jojo: Where are we?
Tater: A desert.
Skye: No shit, sherlock.
Silence
Skye: Wow.
Tater: Yeah, it's kind of weird without Davey.
Skye: No, I was saying wow about that. *points to a city*
Tater: Hey this reminds me of-
Tots: AGRABAH! *running/falling down to Agrabah*
The newsies, well, th233rewf se who are there, follow Tots down into Agrabah.
Tater: Wait, where's Race?
Race: *for some reason still just sitting on the sand just staring at the sky.
Tater: Does shock last this long?
Skye: *shrugs*
The newsies put Race on the somehow still surviving sled and pulled him into the city with them
Tater and Skye are talking about... something stupid probably.
Skye: You know we can hear you?
And I don't care. It was probably stupid. Somehow Spot has pulled the sled with Race in it. Nobody knows what's wrong with Race. He can tell colors though?
Tater: I just had a conversation with him and Spot-
Spot: *glaring at Tater*
Tater: I SAID I HAD A CONVERSATION WITH YOU!
By now, the newsies have arriefg32 in Agrabah. They stand out, most of them wearing old worn-out semi-long sleeve clothes, only one of them wearing a shirt with no sleeves. Most of them are wearing pants, with the exception of the smallest one, who's wearing a bright pink shirt with green shorts. One of the teens is wearing clothes for the complete opposite weather, with their thick green hoodie and jeans. And very long hair. Have you ever considered cutting it?
Tater: I have very scarring memories of hairdressers. If I ever cut my hair, its gonna be because my cat ripped some of it off or something.
And of course, the one that stands out probably the most, is the teen sitting on the sled staring at everything with wide eyes, and the short one pulling the sled.
Spot: THERE ARE MORE THINGS ABOUT ME THAN SHORT!
Yeah, sure.
All the newsies: GO AND LOOK IT UP THE POOR GUYS HEAD IS SPINNING!
A lot of people stopped and stared. Good job. Now you're the center of attention.
Jojo: *hiding behind Tater* So, what do we do now?
Tater: Not get arrested?
Mike: Smart.
Elmer: Why is it so hot?
Tater: Well, the sun-
Skye: No time for science! Let's find a way out of here!
Tater: There's always time for science!
Suddenly, all of afwfthe citizens of Agrabah start dancing
Tater: The dancing plague!
Tots: *dancing with the genie* ARABIAN NIIIGGHHTTSSS
Crutchie: *starts to follow two other and IS NOW SUDDENLY WEARING THE SAME CLOTHES AS THE OTHER TWO WTF*
Jojo: *notices* Ah, shit.
Nearly everyone in the whole universe stops what they're doing. Some people don't know why. But, everyone is shocked for some reason. The universe as a whole is shocked that Jojo cursed.
Skye: Well, we're definitely gonna die now.
Tater: What is it Jo-
Jojo: Andrew played Omar in Aladdin.
Tater: WELL *bleep* THIS SHIT IM OUT-
Skye: WHAT DOES HIM PLAYING THAT MEAN?!
Everyone has gone back to what they were doing now.
Tater: Omar is scared of everything! He'll be scared of us! Say goodbye to Crutchie, because we are never getting him back again!
Buttons: Can't we kidnap him?
Tater: Yeah, but the others have swords.
Elmer: Don' you 'ave like a gazillion knives?
Tater: True.
Albert: But how are we gonna get outta here?
Tater: I don't-
Race: *pointing at something* Shiny!
Tater: *sighing* What is it Race?
Tots: *holding up a necklace* Hey look! Its the necklace from your sketchbook!
Tater: My what?
Tots: You know, the one where you drew a lot of newsies and your friend wrote BUT TECHNICALLY COUNTRYHUMANS on every page!
Tater: *grabs the necklace* This looks familiar-
A monkey appears out of 32where and grabs the necklace, running off.
Tater: *facepalms* Abu...
Finch: How are wes supposed to get that back now?
Tater: We have to find his hideout.
Ike: THE MONKEY HAS A-
Tater: No, Aladdin.
Ike: Oh.
Tater: Lets split up.
Skye: That's-
Tater: You take half, I take half?
Skye: Sure.
Eventually, three groups were decided. Somehow. Skye would go with Albert, Elmer, and Ike. Tots would go with Finch, Mike, Buttons, and Tommy Boy. And Tater would go look for the hideout with Jojo, Spot, and Race.
Tots: Why do you get to have less people?
Tater: Do you want to deal with this? *gestures to Race and Spot*
Tots: Nope. Good luck, I'll be at your funeral!
------
Elmer: I'm hot.
Albert: Yes, you are-
Elmer: No! It's hot!
Albert: *confused*
Skye: Well it's not my fault your wearing those clothes!
Ike: I'm free! Free!
Skye: What the heck?
Ike: My brother isn't here! *starts trying to dance in the crowded streets*
Skye: *facepalms* Where would a hideout be?
Albert: Skye?
Skye: No, not in the sky. What about-
Albert: SKYE! WE LOST ELMER!
Skye: Oh well.
Albert: *runs off*
Skye: NO! I WAS JUST- shit.
Ike: Woah! LOOK AT ALL THESE- *runs off*
Skye: Ugh.
-----------------------
Tots: One foot, after the other!
Buttons: One branch, then to another.
Tots: WHY IS EVERYONE OBSESSED WITH TUCK EVERLASTING?!
Finch: Its a song from Dear Evan Hansen?
Mike: *shrugs*
Tommy Boy: We're wasting time!
Tots: WELL LETS WASTE THAT TIME TOGETHER! *starts dancing in the middle of the street*
Finch: *sighs* I wish Grace was here...
Tots: Be careful what you wish for!
Mike: *points to the top of a building covered in blankets* Is that the hideout?
Tots: Who cares! Dance through life, skim the surface!
By now, Finch, who apparently loves dancing, maybe its because they're all dancers, maybe not, has started dancing next to Tots. Obviously, he's much better at it. Mike joins him, and soon the whole group is dancing to Tots' singing in the middle of the singing.
Tots: Do, do do, do-
Tots, Mike, Finch, Tommy Boy, Buttons: Do, do do, do, do-
-------------
Race: Blue, teal, red, green!
Tater: Yes, colors, wow.
Jojo: Since when has this been happening?
Tater: Since he ripped off part of his tongue.
Spot: *pointing at a random house* Maybe its there? I don't know, and I don't care. Cant we just leave?!
Tater: We could try that house...
Spot: *groans*
Tater, Spot, Jojo, and Race enter the abandoned house
Jojo: Hey, Race! I found a box of cigars!
Race: Really?!
Jojo: Yeah. I think.
Spot: What did you do to him?
Tater: *going through some stuff on the ground* Huh?
Spot: I said, what did you do to Race?
Tater: Nothing. Skye says its shock, should wear off in a day or two or something. Or an infection-
Spot: WHAT?!
Tater: Well, it's not like I-
Spot: *grabbing the book Tater is holding* Gimme that. *goes through it*
Tater: What are you-
Spot: Magic... Heal... Die... I found it!
Tater: What do you-
Spot: Racer!
Race: *runs (kinda) in and hugs Spot* Wha?
Spot: *reading off of the book somehow* Eleka nahmen nahmen, ah tum, ah tum, eleka nahmen.
Tater: Wait-
Spot: *hugging Race* Eleka nahmen nahmen, ah tum, ah tum, eleka nahmen.
Tater: *trying to grab Race to stop Spot* NO! YOU CANT-
Spot: *kicking Tater away* Let his flesh not be torn, let his blood leave no stain, though they beat him-
Pieces of paper start to fly around the room
Tater: HE'S GONNA TURN INTO A-
Spot: *kicks Tater in the mouth* Let him feel no pain, let his bones never break, and however they try to destroy him, let him never die-
Jojo: WHAT THE FISHSTICKS IS HAPPENING?!
Because of the interruption, the papers and stuff fall back down. Tater is on the ground unconscious because apparently kicking someone in the mouth can knock them out.
Race: *has fallen asleep*
Spot: YOU IDIOT! I'M TRYING TO-
Tater: *wakes up* YOU WERE GOING TO TURN HIM INTO A SCARECROW! THIS IS WHY YOU DONT READ RANDOM CHANTS INSIDE SPOOKY BOOKS IN AN ABANDONED HOUSE!
Race: *wakes up* Dats very specific.
Tater: And his tongue is injured again. Great.
Race: Eleka-
Tater: *knocks him unconscious* No.
Singing can be heard outside, and it doesn't seem very Aladdin-ish. It seems more Tots-ish.
Tater: Maybe they found the hideout?
Spot: Why do we need the necklace anyway?
Tater: It could be useful.
Spot: Really?
Tater: I'm just gonna ignore you now.
Spot: *scoffs* No one ignores the Spot Conlon.
Tater: So, Jojo, did you find anything?
Spot: *screams*
Race: *wakes up and screams*
Skye: *bursts in* RACE PROTECTION SQUAD
Tater: Oh, yay, you found us.
Skye: We need to find the others.
-----------
Surprisingly, the other group had found Aladdin's home. Unsurprisingly, they hadn't noticed and were now dancing with Aladdin.
The newsies and Aladdin: Golden like the sun!
Spot: *carrying Race* What are you-
Race: *suddenly starts dancing* Brand new day shine!
Tater: Tots, why?
Tots: That line is reserved for Jack.
Crutchie: *appears and shoots Aladdin with a rifle* EVIL BANANA
Tots: *screams*
Everyone else: *really doesn't care*
Tots: THERE IS A DEAD PERSON-
Tater: This happens like every chapter, you get used to it. *revives Aladdin*
Race: *still dancing* *voice changes slightly* Everythings golden!
Tater: *dials number into phone* Yes. Hello. God? I found a flaw. Yes, yes, a person. What's the flaw? This human being has no flaws. Yes, it is Ben Cook. Oh, you get 34 calls like this every hour? Oh, well, sorry to bother you. Goodbye! *puts phone back in hoodie pocket* He says it was supposed to be a miracle.
Jojo: *trying to grab Tater's phone* LEMME SPEAK TO HIM!
Tater: IT WAS A JOKE!
Jojo: *screams*
Skye: *actually calling someone* Oh, so that can be delivered. Uh-huh. Today? Great. Adress? A rooftop. In a sandpit. Yeah, in an hour? Wow.
Tater: What coming in an hour?
Jojo: *screaming into the phone* I WANT TO SPEAK TO HIM! PLEASE?!
Skye: I found a company that delivers portals.
Tater: Well, we found Crutchie. Now we just have to-
Jojo: *clicking something on Tater's phone* Oh what's this?
Tater: Wait no-
Phone: GOLDEN LIKE THE SUN!
Crutchie: *screams and shoots the phone*
Tater: GODDAMNIT JESSE
Jojo: *screams*
Race: *somehow still dancing* *strikes the last pose* *falls into a pile of sand*
Elmer: *screams*
~one hour later~
Mike: I'm bored.
Ike: Shut up.
Mike: I'm bored.
Ike: Shut up.
Mike: I'm bored.
Ike: Shut-
Tater: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE SHUT UP
Jojo: *crying because the phone is broken*
A big shadow appears above the newsies
Buttons: We should probably move.
Tommy Boy: Agreed.
The newsies move out of the way, and a giant portal drops where they were previously sitting/laying down. So, good thing Buttons and Tommy Boy are actually aware of their surroundings.
Tater: Well-
Tots: *jumps in* Bye!
Tater: Let's not quote any musicals.
Skye: Smart. Maybe we should just not say anything.
Suddenly, the ground starts to shake.
Tater: Not this again!
Skye: What again!
Tater: Depressing stuff.
Skye: Ah.
Elmer: *hugging Albert* I don't want to be alone again!
The world seems to start to fall apart and c-code is exp-posed. Wh-what 235163t4no 04 203t2ugj 2noitj2 t02 agai9na3 9tu8208r2f
Tater: JUST JUMP IN!
Most 329yt0qfio of t93q2tujf newssies q2938ut9fgh jump UJH 0w IN
We are sorry. The entities "Newsies" are not in our database.
Please try again later.
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Tater: Where are we?
Skye: In a white box.
Tater: Hah hah.
Crutchie: Well, actually...
Tater: I am beginning to hate portals
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