[Rayne]
Being a hunter was not all fun and games...or rather, cases and chases. The majority of the time it was just driving from one town to another or spending night after uneventful night in identically ugly motel rooms.
It also involved things like Dean and I fighting Sam for the best bed, or the three of us shoving each at other to get into the shower first. Playing rock paper scissors to see who would go pick up the fast food was also a daily routine, as well as wrestling over the TV remote.
In other words, the life of a hunter was far from glamorous. And I only had two weeks left to enjoy it.
We still hadn't heard anything from John, which I took to mean that he hadn't been able to find anything that could get me out of my deal with Azazel.
Sam and Dean didn't know yet. I wasn't sure why I couldn't bring myself to tell them. Maybe because I didn't want Dean to feel guilty about the fact that I gave up my soul for his. Or maybe because I didn't want the brothers getting into one of their blind destructive frenzies where they would do anything to fix the situation.
I decided I would tell them at the last possible minute; when they would have to realize that there was nothing to be done about it and that all we could do was spend one good last day together.
Having known the Winchesters for a while, that was not likely to happen — both of them being extremely angry with me was way more probable — but it was still better than having them feel as hopeless as I did for the next two weeks.
There was still a chance that the angels would swoop in last second to save the day, but not having heard anything from them in almost a month, I wasn't about to hold my breath.
We were still at the same motel that we checked into for the Djinn case, waiting it out till we found anything strange in the newspapers to chase after. All had been quiet for the last several days — which was a rarity — so we were all glad for the break.
Dean was especially in need of it. Whatever the Djinn did to him really messed him up. He hadn't been willing to talk about it, so Sam and I left him alone in the hopes that he would come to one or both of us when he was ready.
I was sitting on the carpet of the motel room, stretching after my run, while Dean was cleaning his weapons on the bed. Sam had left to grab a late dinner for us an hour earlier after losing at rock-paper-scissors. Not many words had been exchanged between his brother and I since then.
We weren't fighting, and Dean wasn't mad at me or pissed at someone else; he was just...quiet. Like he was thinking intently about something. Or maybe remembering someone.
I knew that Djinns used poison on their victims to make them think that they were living in their ideal universe while they fed on their blood. They were able to read a person's mind to learn their deepest desires and then create an alternate reality using those wishes.
And if Dean was in a reality where his deepest desires came true, that most likely meant that his mom was there. And if his mom was there, then I didn't blame him for being as reserved as he was. I knew all too well how hard it was to leave a place where your loved ones were well and alive.
Still, I was a bit curious as to what other things Dean's ultimate universe consisted of. Was I there? Were we together? I hoped someday soon he would share those things with me.
The door opened and Sam walked in with a paper bag of food and a trey of drinks. The smell of French fries reached me instantly, and just like that, my stretching was forgotten. I got off the floor to take the food from his hands and set it on the small kitchen table. Unwrapping the bag, I stuck my hand in and pulled out a few fries.
"Hey, uh, Ray?"
I turned to find an uncharacteristically shy Sam by the door, shifting from one foot to the other. "Yeah?"
He gave me a lopsided smile and pulled out an envelope from the inside of his jacket. "This is for you," he said, holding it out.
Curious, I went up to take it. "What is it?" I asked as I flipped it over, only to find that there was nothing written on it.
"Happy birthday."
My eyes flew to his in surprise. "How did you know?"
He shrugged. "I remember you mentioned once that it was on October 24th."
Dean set aside his weapons and came to stand beside me, glancing between the envelope in my hands and his younger brother with a frown. Finally, he looked down at me. "It's your birthday, and I didn't know about it?"
My face heated up under their searching gazes. "It's okay, I don't really celebrate it."
"How come?" Sam asked.
"Well...after my dad died, it wasn't really the same anymore. He always made my birthday extra special."
Sam sat on the edge of the bed while Dean went over to the table with the food. "Like what?"
Smiling, I thought of the few birthdays that stuck out in my mind. "He'd wake up early to make me monkey pancakes, which was basically just pancakes with white and dark chocolate chips topped with bananas, and then we'd take an early morning drive for the best milkshakes in town all while blasting our favorite rock songs in the car." I had to clear my throat and wipe away the few stray tears. "And then every year on that day, at exactly twelve o'clock at midnight, he would turn on "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns N' Roses and tell me all the things that he loved about me."
Sam smiled. "That sounds like it was great, Ray."
"Yeah, it was." I released a long breath and then grinned at him. "So, can I see what my present is now?"
"Go for it."
Inside the envelope was a gift card to my favorite coffee chain place that Sam and Dean never let us go to because they both claimed it was too expensive and pretentious, as well as two tickets for some music show.
"The concert tickets are for you and Dean," Sam said. "They're playing at a local theater here tomorrow night. They perform covers of the most popular classic rock songs."
My smile was genuine that time as I jumped into his lap and gave him the tightest hug I could. "Thanks, Sammy. I love it."
He laughed and hugged me back. "I'm glad."
"Dude, you couldn't have given me a heads up?" Dean asked in between bites of his burger. He looked so adorably grumpy that it made me giggle.
"I thought you knew," Sam replied.
"It's okay, Dean. I didn't expect you to know."
"I still feel like a jerk," he grumbled, taking a sip of his soda and setting it back down with a little too much force. Then his eyes widened and he clapped his hands together. "I know! We'll have a little birthday party right here at the motel."
I started to shake my head. "Dean, it's not nec–"
"Cherry Pie, it is necessary and it's settled. We have a few beers in the fridge; we'll plug in your iPod for some music. It'll be great."
"I'd really prefer it if we didn't make a big deal of this."
Dean threw his burger wrappers in the trash and then came over to stand before me. He placed his hands on my shoulders. "Rayne, it's not every day you turn twenty-two."
Sam chuckled. "Well, at least he knows how old you are, Ray."
Dean shot him a glare. "Shut up."
The brothers then turned to me, as if silently asking if they could proceed with their plans. They definitely weren't the type to celebrate their own birthdays, and they both looked like they genuinely wanted to do something special for me.
And it was likely to be my last birthday. I shrugged and gave them a surrendering smile. "What the heck?"
[Sam]
We were sitting around the kitchen table in the motel room. Dean and I had a beer each in front of us, and Rayne had a can of Sprite in her hands.
"Okay, this is how the game works," Dean said. "I say something I have never done before, and if either of you have done it, you must take a drink."
"A drinking game?" Rayne said. "Seriously?"
"Yeah, seriously," Dean barked. "You grew up a home schooled kid and missed all the fun. Tonight, you're gonna catch up."
"...With a Sprite," I added, trying to hide my smile.
"Yeah, well, we don't want a repeat of last time," he said.
The whole thing was a bit adolescent, but it was nice to have a laid back night for once. The last month had been so stressful, and my nightmares of Azazel were getting more frequent — not having to think about any of that for even a few hours was more than I thought I would ever get.
"Okay, I'll start," Rayne said. "I have never broken a bone."
Dean and I exchanged a brief glance and took a swig of our beers. Our childhoods consisted of more broken bones than the average kid's. "Your turn, Sammy," Dean said.
"Umm...I have never dumped someone."
Rayne and I grinned at Dean who narrowed his eyes at us and brought the bottle back to his lips. "You guys are boring." He grinned wickedly and then said, "I have never skinny dipped."
Dean was watching Rayne who was laughing like that was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard. They almost didn't notice me take a sip.
Rayne gasped. "Sam!"
"Jess was...adventurous."
Dean grinned. "I bet."
I rolled my eyes at him. "Your turn, Ray."
She pursed her lips in thought and then smiled wickedly at Dean. "I have never done it in the back of a car."
Dean winked at her and then took a sip. "Don't worry, we'll change that real soon, Cherry Pie."
I nearly laughed at how her face turned instantly bright red. "I have never had beer for breakfast before," I said.
"Are you two ganging up on me now?" Dean asked after taking another swig. "Fine, if that's the way you wanna play...I have never kissed someone's significant other."
Grudgingly, Rayne and I took a sip, not having to be reminded of the time that we had to kiss each other to break the spell of the Green-Eyed monster. "Dean, I'm pretty sure you've done that as well," I pointed out.
"Name one person."
"Um, Rachel?"
He thought about it for a moment and then took a reluctant sip. "Okay, but that was in high school. And I didn't know that she was dating that douche until after I kissed her."
"Everyone knew that she was dating the quarterback. Even me!"
"All right," Rayne said as she stood up. "While you two argue about that very important detail, I'm going to go to the bathroom."
When she left, the mood dampened a bit, and Dean immediately retreated back into whatever headspace he'd been in since the Djinn case.
"You all right?" I asked.
He looked up at me. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
"Come on, man. You haven't said two words about what happened to you in that warehouse."
"I don't remember much about it."
"We both know that's not true. Rayne and I have been worried about you, dude. You gotta talk to us. What was it like?"
"Right." He cleared his throat and fixed his gaze on the label around the beer bottle, a faint smile on his lips. "You should have seen it, Sam. Our lives. You were such a wuss."
I treaded carefully, knowing it wasn't easy for my brother to open up. "Did we get along?"
"Yeah. Yeah, surprisingly we did. I thought because we never grew up hunting that we wouldn't have much in common, but I think Rayne brought us all together."
"Rayne was there, too?"
He glanced up at me, and there was a rare spark in his eyes. "We were married. Had a house and everything. Heck, we had a kid."
My eyes bulged. "You were...a dad?"
Dean chuckled. "Hard to believe, huh? You were going to Law School; you'd just met Jess. And Mom, Sam. Mom was alive. It was...well, it was perfect."
"Well, I'm glad you dug yourself out, Dean. Most people wouldn't have had the strength. They would have just stayed."
He face darkened. "Yeah...lucky me."
"Dean...it wasn't real."
"I know. But I wanted to stay." I'd never seen him look so lost and sad before. "I wanted to stay so bad. I mean, all I...all I can think about is how much this job's cost us." He paused for a long moment and looked up at me. "We've lost so much. We've...sacrificed so much."
"But people are alive because of you," I said, to which he scoffed. "It's worth it, Dean. It is. It's not fair, and you know, it hurts like hell, but...it's worth it."
He went back to staring at the beer label pensively. "Yeah, I used to think so, too."
"You can't go down that dark hole, man. These are just the way things are. These are our lives."
"Well, I wish they weren't." Suddenly, he flashed me a hard look. "And what about you, Sam? Huh? You're giving me this crap about sucking it up and accepting our fate for what it is, and all you've been doing for the past month is moping around about the demon blood in you."
I shot up from the table, glaring down at him. "Look, when you get demon blood in you, then you can instruct me on how I should act about it. I'm just trying to deal in whatever way I can."
His eyes softened. "Okay, Sam...I didn't mean that."
There was no stopping me, however. I was fine with ignoring it – figuring it out on my own. I thought I was succeeding, but apparently if even Dean –who never noticed anything –noticed, then I was clearly not.
"No, I get it," I said, grabbing the jacket off the back of my chair. "You have Rayne, and she was somehow able to beat Azazel's powers because she's got Heaven on her side. Well, your brother isn't as lucky. I've got demon blood in me, Dean! This disease pumping through my veins, and I can't ever rip it out or scrub it clean! I'm a whole new level of freak!"
"Dude, come back here. Where are you going?"
"Out," I replied before slamming the door behind me. He didn't get it. He didn't know what it was like to have something inside of you that you could actually feel moving and changing you a bit every day.
I made it all of a few steps before I heard the door open again. "Sam, wait!"
"Rayne, not now."
"No, stop!"
With a heavy sigh, I turned around to face her.
"I heard you," she said, "...in the bathroom. I know exactly what you're feeling right now."
"Yeah, but this is different, Ray. I don't have the light, or whatever, like you did. There's nothing in me that can stop whatever Azazel's blood is doing to me. And if that's anything like what it was doing to you, then I don't want to wait around till it takes full effect."
She looked so small, standing there barefoot in her shorts and one of Dean's t-shirts. "What are you saying, Sam?"
"I don't know what I'm saying, Ray." I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Look, I'm sorry I put a damper on your birthday. I just need some time to myself."
Without waiting for her to respond — without having to see the hurt in her eyes — I turned around and crossed to the other side of the street. There was a small local bar a few blocks down the road. Drinking away one's feelings was usually Dean's motto, but at the moment, it seemed all too appealing.
As soon as I stepped onto the sidewalk, I heard Rayne yelling after me. "No, Sam! No! You do not get to run away from this! I made that mistake — I'm not letting you do the same."
I ignored her.
"Sam! Get back here!"
She was running after me, I could hear the sound of her bare feet against the pavement. I let out another sigh and turned around to tell her to go back to the motel.
The blue Sedan was coming at full speed from the right — seemingly not having noticed Rayne who was in the middle of the road. She skidded to a halt, staring at the approaching vehicle with huge eyes. She seemed to be hesitating. Probably trying to decide if she had a better chance of running over to my side, or retreating back to the sidewalk before it hit her.
Adrenaline coursed through me as I watched the scene before me unfold in slow motion. I didn't know what to do. The car showed no signs of stopping as it headed straight at Rayne. Her name tore through my lips milliseconds before it was going to collide with her.
And then it just stopped. It froze in the middle of the road mere centimetres away from Rayne. The man behind the wheel was also frozen, his eyes down on the cellphone in his hands. It was like somebody pressed pause on the whole thing.
Rayne and I turned to stare at each other in disbelief, both breathing heavily. "What's happening?" I asked her.
She shook her head, clearly just as confused as me. The silence lasted for a moment longer until a rustle of wings interrupted it. In between Rayne and I now stood the same woman that appeared after the car crash — the one that healed Rayne and got rid of the demon.
"Sera!" Rayne exclaimed.
"You were lucky that I happened to be checking in on you at just this moment," she said, her delicate English accent and soft voice just as I'd remembered it.
She frowned. "Do you...do you do that often?"
"Apparently not often enough."
Rayne glanced between the still frozen car and the angel. "I guess I should thank you."
Sera gave a slight nod of her head. "You should head back to Dean now."
She looked to me, her gaze pleading. "Sam?"
"I'm fine, Ray. I'll come back in a bit."
Although clearly not happy about it, she nodded and turned to go, then stopped and glanced over her shoulder at Sera. "By the way, if you happen to see Castiel, could you tell him that I'm looking for him?"
I watched the angel while she watched Rayne hurry back to our motel room. "Wait!" I quickly said before Sera could disappear. She turned her piercing blue eyes to me. "Can I talk to you?"
"Sam Winchester," she said, sounding as amused as I supposed a celestial being could. "Why is it that you're always present wherever there's trouble?"
I almost laughed. "It's all in the last name."
She smiled. "I suppose that's true. You Winchesters are famous in Heaven for the magnitude of the problems that you cause."
"I'm not surprised."
"Well, what can I do for you?"
"Um, well, Rayne mentioned that you and your...brother, Daniel, talked to her about the demon blood that was in her. She said that you guys were there when she...beat it."
"That is correct."
"I was wondering if, uh...I was wondering if you could sense something in me also."
Her brows knitted together ever so slightly as she took a step towards me. "Yes...you have the demon blood in you as well."
"I don't suppose there's any angel grace kicking anywhere around in there, too?" I asked with a weak smile.
"No. No angel grace."
My shoulders sagged. "So, there's no hope for me, huh?"
She tilted her head. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I just mean that I'm probably destined to turn into whatever weird science project that Azazel had designed for kids like Rayne and I when he gave me his blood, right?"
Her features softened with understanding. "Sam, yes, Castiel's grace aided Rayne in defeating the darkness in her, but ultimately it was her choice. She was the one that did that."
Then, Sera did something I would have never expected. She came up to me and stood very close. She was tall, a few inches shorter than I was. I couldn't remember the last time a woman nearly reached my eye level. Well, 'woman' was a rather loose term in this case, but still.
After a moment, she raised her hand and placed it on the side of my face. I half expected her skin to be icy, but in fact it was quite warm. I found having to stop myself from leaning into her touch. Her sapphire eyes held mine, and there was such kindness in them that I nearly forgot to breath for a moment.
"There is goodness in you, Sam," she said. "I feel it. It's strong. Your soul is pure. Fight to keep it that way."
And then I was standing alone in the street. Just like after the last time we met, Sera's departure somehow darkened everything around me. I stood motionless for a while, thinking over the bizarre meeting I'd just had with an angel and also the sense of calm that lingered on for a long while after.
[Rayne]
Dean was waiting for me back in the room, looking upset with himself. After I heard Sam storm out, I convinced him to let me go after him. If Dean went, they would have likely continued to fight, and I think he realized that as well.
"How is he?" he asked.
"He'll be fine. I hope." There was no point in telling him that my guardian angel had just saved me from nearly being run over by a car, or that that same angel was out there with his brother now. My heart rate still hadn't slowed down.
Dean slumped in the chair. His arm was on the table and he was drumming an agitated beat on the surface of it with his knuckles. "It kills me that I can't help him."
I offered him a small smile. "I know."
He looked up at me. "Sorry that our celebration kinda went downhill."
"Don't worry about it. It was wonderful while it lasted."
"Well, here," he said, standing up and going over to the portable speakers that were blasting my music while we played the drinking game, "I know it's not quite midnight yet, but I have something else for you."
"What's that?" He pressed play and as the first few notes rang out, a rush of emotions came over me. Surprise, sadness, nostalgia; they nearly brought tears to my eyes.
"She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky"
"I thought that even though your dad isn't here anymore, doesn't mean you couldn't still listen to the song that he always played for you on your birthday."
"Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I stared too long
I'd probably break down and cry
Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine"
"I haven't listened to it in so long," I said, and then laughed. "I actually actively avoided listening to it."
He came up to me and placed his arms around my lower back. We began to slowly sway to the music. I let my head rest on his chest, savoring the moment for its rarity.
Dean spoke so quietly that at first I almost didn't hear him. "I love too many things about you to pick my favorites, Cherry Pie."
I smiled. "What, you can't even give me a few?"
He didn't say anything for a long moment. Then he cleared his throat. "Okay, uh, I love that you have awesome taste in music...for the most part. I love how adorable you get on too much caffeine or candy. I love the way you look in the mornings, when you've just woken up." His hand traveled up my back beneath the shirt. "I love when you wear my clothes." He pulled slightly back, tilted my chin up, kissed me softly, and then smiled. "I love that you blush whenever I do that." Then he turned more serious, his green eyes piercing. He said even more quietly, "I love that you're everything I'm not. You're good and kind; you put others before you, always. You accept people despite of their flaws. You never stay mad for long. I love that you love me, Rayne. You're so much more than I deserve."
I blinked through the tears and smiled up at him shyly. "If you think that those are the things that are different about us, then I hate to break it to you, but we're more alike than you think."
"Agree to disagree," he murmured and leaned down to kiss me once again.
"So," I said against his lips, "you and I were married, huh?"
He pulled away to look at me.
"I heard you talking to Sam while I was in the bathroom."
"Oh. Yeah, we were married."
I couldn't tell if he was happy about that or not. He sounded almost miserable saying it. "I thought the Djinn was supposed to show you your deepest desires."
He held my gaze. "Yeah. And I guess he did."
My breath caught. All I could do was stare at him. Did Dean Winchester just admit to me that on some subconscious level he wanted us to be married?
"I think that's also why I wanted my dad and your mom to get together," he said and then shrugged. "If he could successfully break away from this life, then...I don't know, then I thought that maybe it meant that I could, too."
"Are you saying you'd want a normal life?"
He shrugged again and looked away. "Yeah, maybe. Someday."
I studied his downcast profile. "It was hard for you to leave that place, wasn't it?"
"You have no idea."
"Well, I mean...I know not everything in that alternate reality is a possibility, but I want a normal life, too. Someday. And I want that life to be with you."
He looked down at me then and smiled. "You do?"
"I do."
"Good."
"I uh, I also heard you say something about being a father?"
His smile widened. "Uh-huh, we had a kid. A little baby girl."
"Really? What did she look like?"
"She was beautiful, Ray. You should've seen her."
I put my hand on the back of his neck and pulled him down towards me. "Maybe someday I will."
"Someday," he agreed.