Nardole enters the office through the door followed by girl. Nardole's arm squeaks mechanically as he gestures for her to sit in front of the desk, then a bolt falls off. He smiles and kicks it behind him, then backs out and closes the door. The girl investigates the Police Telephone Box parked in the corner by a window. It has an 'Out of Order' sign hanging on the door. The desk has photographs of Susan Foreman and River Song on it, and there is a little glass with a tiny rose in it. The clock chimes. The girl is reaching for the pot that contains not pencils or pens, but sonic screwdrivers, when suddenly the peace is ripped apart by an electric guitar playing Beethoven's Fifth.
"Ahem!" silence, then the Doctor puts his head out of the other door, then back in again. There is the whir of a sonic screwdriver and a bit of amplifier feedback, then he comes out followed by me.
"Potts?" I ask.
"Yeah."
"Bill Potts."
"You wanted to see me."
"Er, you're not a student at this university," the Doctor says.
"Nah, I work in the canteen."
"Yeah, but you come to our lectures."
"No, I don't. I never do that."
"I've seen you" I say.
"Love your lectures. They're totally awesome."
"Why do you come to our lectures when you're not a student?"
"Ok, so my first day here, in the canteen, I was on chips. There was this girl. Student. Beautiful. Like a model, only with talking and thinking. She looked at you and you perved. Every time, automatic, like physics. Eye contact, perversion. So, I gave her extra chips. Every time, extra chips. Like a reward for all the perversion. Every day, got myself on chips, rewarded her. Then finally, finally, she looked at me, like she'd noticed, actually noticed, all the extra chips. Do you know what I realised? She was fat. I'd fatted her. But that's life, innit? Beauty or chips. I like chips. So, did she. So that's ok."
"And how does that in any way explain why you keep coming to our lectures?"
"Yeah, it doesn't really, does it? I was hoping something would develop. What's that? A police telephone box?"
"Yeah" the Doctor replies.
"Did you build it from a kit?"
"No, it came like that."
"Then how did you get it in here? The door's too small and so are the windows."
"We had the window and a part of the wall taken out and it was lifted in."
"What, with a crane?"
"Yeah, with a crane. It's heavier than it looks. Why do you keep coming to our lectures?"
"Because I like them. Everybody likes them. They're amazing. Why me?"
"Why you what?" I ask.
"Well, plenty of people come to your lectures that aren't supposed to. Why pick on me?"
"Well, I noticed you."
"Yeah, but why?"
"Well, most people when they don' t understand something, they frown. You smile."
"I'll tell you what I don't understand. You've both been lecturing here for a long time. Like, fifty years, some people say. Nabeela in the office says over seventy."
"Yeah, and you're thinking, 'Well, they don't look old enough." I say.
"No. I'm wondering what you're both supposed to be lecturing on. It's like the university let you do whatever you like. One time, you were going to give a lecture on quantum physics. You talked about poetry."
"Poetry, physics, same thing," the Doctor says.
"How is it the same?"
"Because of the rhymes. What are you doing at this university?"
"I always wanted to come here."
"Yeah, to serve chips?"
"So anyway, am I nearly done?"
"Do you want to be?"
"See ya."
"You ever get less than a first, then it's over" I say.
"You what?"
"A first. Every time or I stop immediately."
"Stop what?"
"Being your personal tutor."
"But I'm not a student. I'm not part of the university. I never even applied."
"We'll sort all that out later."
"You kinda have to sort that out earlier."
"Leave it with me. I'm assuming that it's a yes."
"Yes.
"We'll see you at 6 pm every weekday. I don't care who's dying, never, ever be late. We're very particular about time" the Doctor says.
"Oh, er. People just call you the Doctor and the Seer? What do I call you?"
"The Doctor, and the Seer."
"But Doctor and Seer isn't a name. I can't just call you Doctor and Seer. Doctor and Seer what?"
*Time skip*
"Time! Time doesn't pass. The passage of time is an illusion, and life is the magician. Because life only lets you see one day at a time. You remember being alive yesterday, you hope you're going to be alive tomorrow, so it feels like you're travelling from one to the other. But nobody's moving anywhere. Movies don't really move" I say "they're just pictures, lots and lots of pictures. All of them still, none of them moving. Just frozen moments. But if you experience those pictures one after the other, then everything comes alive."
---
"Am I on time?" Bill asks running into the office.
"That's a very big question," the Doctor says as he throws her a book.
---
"You know you're my foster mum? They're like my foster tutor" Bill says.
"Am I going to have to break every bone in his body?"
"It's not like that."
"You need to keep your eye on men."
"Men aren't where I keep my eye, actually" Bill whispers.
---
"Imagine if time all happened at once. Every moment of your life laid out around you like a city. Streets full of buildings made of days. The day you were born, the day you die. The day you fall in love, the day that love ends. A whole city built from triumph and heartbreak and boredom and laughter and cutting your toenails. It's the best place you will ever be" the Doctor says.
"Time is a structure relative to ourselves. Time is the space made by our lives where we stand together, forever. Time And Relative Dimension In Space. It means life" I say.
---
In the quadrangle, Bill watches the Doctor, Nardole, and I scurry around the corner of the building, Nardole turning the wrong way originally. She follows them to a cellar door which opens for her.
"So, you're tutoring her, then?" Nardole asks.
"Yes, we are" I reply.
"Why?"
"Why not?"
"You're not supposed to get involved. What are you teaching her, anyway?"
"Everything."
"Well, how can you teach anyone everything?"
"Because everything rhymes. Links apple and alpha, synchronous and diverging. Descending multiples" there's a beep.
"Yeah, you want to turn that" more beeps "you want to rotate it" there's a big clang.
"The door upstairs, how did you set the security?" the Doctor asks.
"Friends only" Nardole replies "so turn it, and then it'll..."
"I'm turning it, aren't I?"
*Time skip*
Bill comes across a woman sitting on a bench.
"You ok?" Bill asks.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Sorry, can I ask? What's that in your eye?"
"It's just a defect in the iris."
"Looks like a star."
"Well, it's a defect."
"At least it's a defect that looks like a star."
"I'm getting it fixed."
"Ok. Sorry, none of my business, but are you freaking out about something?"
"Please. You can say no. Would you come with me? Can I show you something?"
"God, yes!"
*Time skip*
"I love this place, don't you?" Bill asks.
"I hate it."
"Why?"
"I don't know. I just do. Everywhere I go I just want to leave."
"Can I come too?" they soon come to a concrete service area between large buildings, with temporary fencing and storage units.
"Maybe. There's a puddle over there, but it hasn't rained for a week."
"Yeah, but, well, you know, half the students here are blokes."
"Go and look in it."
"You want me to look in a puddle?"
"Please" Bill goes over to the puddle
"Ok, I'm looking. What am I looking at?"
"Your reflection."
"Yep. There it is."
"Do you see what's wrong with it?"
"My name's Bill, by the way."
"I'm Heather. Can you see what's wrong?"
"Nothing. It just looks like me. Oh! What is that? That's me, that's my face, but It's wrong" Heather is walking away "hey!"
"Sorry. Some other time."
"Promise?"
*Time skip*
"It's a rug. Haven't got you anything?" the Doctor asks.
"It's ok, it was cheap" Bill replies, later, the Doctor, Bill, and I are wearing Christmas Cracker paper hats, and with plates of nibbles on the desk "going anywhere for Christmas?"
"We never go anywhere" I say.
"That's not true. You go places, I can tell. My mum always said, 'With some people, you can smell the wind in their clothes.'"
"Oh. She sounds nice."
"She died when I was a baby."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"If she died when you were a baby, when did she say that?" the Doctor asks.
"In my head. I'm supposed to look like her, but I don't really know. There's hardly any photographs. She hated having her picture taken. But if someone's gone, do pictures really help?"
---
"I thought you'd enjoy choosing something for yourself, as you're always passing judgments. I hope you didn't spend too much on this."
"Nah. This should cover it. What's that?" Bill asks.
"Oh, I found that at the back of the cupboard with all your old stuff. Just photographs of your mum. I didn't know we had 'em" Bill opens the cardboard box. There are dozens if not hundreds of photographs, and she is moved to tears.
*Time skip*
"Happy new term!" Bill says entering the office.
"With you in a moment" the Doctor replies walking off, Bill sees that the TARDIS is partly sitting on her gift rug.
"You said you needed a crane to lift your box."
"Sorry, what did you say?"
*Time skip*
Bill returns to the site of the puddle and sees Heather standing there.
"Hey! Still making eyes at a puddle?"
"Did you ever work out what was wrong with your reflection?"
"Nah."
"Come round. I'll show you."
"Promise you won't go?"
"Promise" but when Bill gets around the fencing, Heather is gone.
"Ok. Yeah, no worries" Bill leaves.
*Time skip*
Bill enters as the Doctor is writing and I am leaning over his shoulder with my arms around him. I look up.
"What's wrong?" the Doctor asks.
---
"She said it was a defect, but what kind of defect puts a star in your eye? But that doesn't even matter because she was right. There was something wrong when you looked in the puddle. That was definitely my face. I see my face all the time. I've never liked it, it's all over the place. It's always doing expressions when I'm trying to be enigmatic. I know my face, and there was something wrong with my face in the puddle. What could be wrong with your own face?" Bill looks out of the window to see the Doctor and Alex running along the path outside.
"Seer! Doctor!" Bill gives chase "Seer! Doctor!" The Doctor and I are looking into the puddle.
"Why do you run like that?" Bill asks finally catching up.
"Like what?" the Doctor asks.
"Like a penguin with its arse on fire."
"Ergonomics. That's my face, yeah?"
"You seem a bit flexible on the subject."
"Oh, you've no idea."
"Maybe it's got to do with that thing in her eye."
"How?" I ask.
"Maybe she's like, affected by something."
"By what?"
"I don't know. Look, I know you two know lots of stuff about, well, basically everything, but do you know any sci-fi?" the Doctor straightens up.
"Go on" I say.
"Well, what if she's possessed. Something like that."
"Possessed by what?"
"I don't know. I saw this thing on Netflix. Lizards in people's brains."
"Right. So, you meet a girl with a discoloured iris and your first thought is she might have a lizard in her brain? I can see I'm going to have to up my game. Oh" the Doctor says.
"What?" Bill asks.
"Oh!"
"What is it, what?"
"Oh, I get it. I see it. It was easy for your friend because of her eye."
"What, because it gives her special powers?"
"No! Because her face isn't symmetrical. Look! Look into the puddle. Your face looks wrong because it looks right. What's the one thing you never see when you look at a reflection? Your face. You never see your face the right way round. Right. Look for a freckle or a funny tooth. Something that's not symmetrical."
"My badge!"
"See, your friend saw it straightaway because of her eye."
"But, it's moving like a reflection."
"It's not reflecting you. It's mimicking you. There's something in the water pretending to be you" I say as I scoop some up into a test tube and puts a cork in it "of course. It isn't water. Now, what are these? Let's have a look."
"What are they?"
"Scorch marks. Interesting."
"Right, you. Let's get you on the bus" the Doctor says.
"The what? The bus?"
"Tutorial's over, take the night off. It's all cancelled. Go and be a proper student. Texts, snogging, a vegan wrap."
"But what about the puddle?"
"Oh, it's just some freak optical effect. We're bored already."
*Time skip*
"Hey. I'll make you a cuppa for the bath" Bill says knocking on the bathroom door. She goes to the kitchen and her mobile phone rings.
"Hey."
"Sorry I'm not there, love, but I think we both know it's time I treated myself."
"Are you with Neville?"
"Why would I be back with Neville after last time? Why do you think I'm such an idiot?
"Well, you're calling from his phone. Is there someone staying here in the flat?"
"Er, nothing. Never mind. I'll see you tomorrow" the water stops running, and now sounds like someone taking a bath "hello? Is someone in there? Is that Barry? Because she's with Neville, and it's not my fault" there's a sound of wet feet. Bill grabs an umbrella "sorry, I need to know who's in there. I'm coming in. Do you hear me? Make yourself decent" she goes into the bathroom. The bath is empty, the last drops gurgling down the plughole. There is a shadowy shape behind the shower curtain "If that's Barry, let's not make this worse. Just say it's you" she pulls the curtain aside, as the last of the water drains away. Then Heather's eye looks up at her from the drain hole. She gasps and falls backwards, then runs out of the flat.
*Time skip*
Bill sees the Doctor and the Seer up in the office. Heather is standing nearby, with the sound of trickling water.
"Hello," Bill says.
"Hello" Heather replies.
"You scared me."
"You scared me" Bill steps forward and can see the water dribbling from Heather's mouth and running off her hands. In fact, it is pouring off her entire body.
"You're dead."
"You're dead" Heather leaps forward.
---
Bill bursts in as the Doctor and I are analysing the liquid from the puddle. She jams a chair under the door handle. There is a loud sound of water.
"Hello, Bill" I say.
"Oh!"
"What's that?" the liquid starts to seep in under the door.
"I'll tell you what it isn't. It isn't a freak optical effect" Heather starts to form from the liquid "and it's following me. Oh" the Doctor starts to reach for Heather "no, no, what are you doing?"
"I'll tell you what, let's just pop into our box" I say.
"Your box? What good is getting in your box going to do?"
"What an extraordinarily long and involved answer this is going to be" the Doctor shuts the TARDIS door behind him, then opens it again to grab the Out of Order sign and shuts it.
"How do we stop it getting in? We're trapped in here!" Bill says.
"Nothing gets through these doors" I say.
"But they're made of wood. They've got windows!" The Doctor and I go down the ramp and turn on the power. Bill doesn't turn around "look, this is all mad, I know, but that's the girl I told you about. Heather. Only I don't think it's really her. I know this is hard to believe. I know you're not exactly sci-fi people" then she turns around.
"Time And Relative Dimension In Space. TARDIS for short. You're safe in here. You're safe in here and you always will be. Any questions?" I ask.
"Is this a knock-through?"
"Well, in a way, yes."
"Look at this place. It's like a..."
"Spaceship."
"Kitchen."
"A what?"
"A really posh kitchen, all metal. What happened with the doors, though? Did you run out of money?"
"What you are standing in is a technological marvel. It is science beyond magic. This is the gateway to everything that ever was, or ever can be" the Doctor says.
"Can I use the toilet?"
"Pardon?"
"I've had a fright. I need the toilet."
"It's down there, first right, second left, past the macaroon dispenser."
"Thanks" Nardole is coming up the stairs as Bill heads down.
"Oh, human! Human alert. Do you want me to repel her?" Nardole asks.
"She's just passing through. She wants to use the toilet" I say.
"Oh. I'd er give it a minute if I were you" suddenly the TARDIS judders "oh, what was that?"
"We have an incursion on campus. Extra-terrestrial. We're under attack" I say as I bring the scanner around, Heather is on the scanner "let's move" I set the TARDIS into motion.
"Oh, my God! This isn't just a room, is it?" Bill asks.
"No, it's not just a room."
"This is a lift!" the TARDIS stops and the Doctor and I run out
"Well, come on, then," Nardole says gesturing for Bill to follow.