JAMES POV
Her words echoing inside my head, making it spin. I froze for a few seconds unable to say no more. I was afraid of what she had to say, the reason why I had to come back home was more than scary. A million questions passed me by at an incredible speed, not giving me time to process them.
"Come home." She said again when her desperate cry subsided. I took a hand to my eyes and cleaned the tears that persisted falling.
"What happened Andrea? Tell me..." I finally asked her, getting courage from an unknown place. "How is our girl?"
"She's...she's in coma..." She said. I fell down on the bed as if I had been shot by her words. Each letter craving right in my heart, wounding me almost deadly.
"What? But how?"
"They have put her to sleep, they thought it was for the best, because she was very nervous. I guess Trish's death affected her and she was being unstable. He cells' count is very low; they are trying to get the result of the test to her bone marrow but it's not here yet. The doctor suspects it's failing even more...I don't know what to do..." She cried again.
"Did he say anything else?" I asked looking for some good news in the middle of that horror.
"He said her condition is very fragile and dangerous. We might lose her..."
"NO!" I yelled not taking the pain. "No...no...no..." I repeated time and time again not accepting the idea. Losing my little girl...no way, that couldn't happen.
"I think it's better if you come, in case anything happens, and I need you. Now, I also need you here."
"Nothing is going to happen. Andrea...hold on. I am coming home as soon as I find a flight back to San Francisco. Stay calm sweetie. Are you alone?"
"No, Belle is here with me. She has been so wonderful."
"Ok...look, I am getting the flight and I let you know." I stuttered all over and my jaw was trembling a bit as if I was cold, but I was not. I hung up the phone and stayed still for a while, trying to think and put some order in my head. I began to trace a plan of all the things I had to do and first, obviously, I had to talk with my band. I grabbed the phone and dialed Lars's room. If I was right, he was having another party and was still up. I wasn't wrong...a loud noise came from the speaker as soon as he got the call.
"It's me." I told him with no further politeness.
"Hey...come here! We're having this major party, lots of stuff going on man." He told me.
"I need to talk to the band. Like now...gather all and come here." I said.
"What? Band meeting now?" He asked surprised.
"Yes! And hurry. It's important..." I said.
"Ok...wait a bit." With that Lars hung up the phone and I began to pack my stuff. Tears fell down my face while I was putting some clothes in one of the bags. I fell down on my knees, losing strength and my shoulders shook. I was desperate.
"NOOO..." I cried loud and not caring if someone could hear me. The pain I had felt when I lost my mother and Cliff attacking me again. "It can't be...it cannot fucking be." I sobbed. "Is it a curse? Uh? Do I have to lose everyone that is important to me? Am I condemn to be alone in the world? How much pain do I have to take? I looked up to the ceiling talking to no one. I got myself together, got up and continued grabbing the stuff scattered all over the room. Later, they knocked on my door. I ran to open it for them and came back to what I was doing leaving the door opened and I heard them coming in and then I felt their presence.
"Are you alright? You call me at fucking 6 am to have a band meeting and now you're cleaning the room?" Lars blurted clearly drunk.
"I am not cleaning. I am packing." I clarified picking up a shirt off the floor and shoving it in my bag, then I looked up at them.
"You're packing?" Kirk asked.
"I have to go home." I delivered the news coldly. Lars looked at me and then smiled.
"You're kidding right?" He asked.
"No..." I shook my head and rested my hands on my waist. I looked down at my feet 'cause I wasn't able to look them in the eye. It was the first time in my life I was leaving the band behind and I felt like a deserter.
"You're going home? How? I mean...we have two more weeks!" Lars said. "Are you ok James?"
"My daughter is in the hospital, as you all already know..." Lars, as most of the times, didn't let me finish and burst.
"And Andrea is with her, she's fine. You can do the rest of the tour!" He yelled. That is why I sometimes felt the need to punch him, because he couldn't keep his mouth shut and didn't hear when he was supposed to listen.
"No...it's not ok!" I yelled back. "Andrea is there, yes...but she doesn't have the need to be there alone and for the record, I need to go because Sarah has gotten worse! My daughter is in coma at the moment, I might not ever see my daughter again..." There my voice betrayed me, and I choked, my eyes blurred, and I had to make a pause to get my shit together again. By then Lars had already calmed down and was looking at me remorseful. "I have to go home and help my wife and be with my girl. I need to be there." I said. "I've never done this, so I don't know what I have to do. I am sorry...to leave like this." Kirk approached me and tapped my back.
"She's gonna be alright man, you'll see. She's strong!" He told me.
"Thanks." I said.
"Pack your things, I'll try to find you a flight." Lars said.
"I'll help you." Kirk said turning to Lars.
"And I'll help you packing." Jason offered.
"Don't we need to call the management?"
"I'll talk to them, just grab your stuff." Lars said. With that, him and Kirk left the room and Jason stayed with me to help me. I cursed the fact that I was always such a messy person on tour and had all the stuff scattered along the room, but soon all my bags were ready and near the door. I took a shower and changed and then waited for Lars and Kirk to bring me some good news. Around 7 am, they came back.
"Are you ready?" Lars asked me and I nodded. "The van is waiting for you at the door. We got you flight, but you have to go to the airport now." He handed me a piece of paper. "There you have the number of the flight and the place where you have to go to grab your ticket. It's economic, I couldn't find you anything else, but it goes directly to SFO:"
"I don't know how to thank you guys." I told them, completely grateful.
"Go home." Lars said tapping my back. "We'll meet you there in a couple of days, we just need to organize things now. Give my girlfriend a kiss and tell her I am coming home sooner."
"Belle is at the hospital with Andrea." I told him.
"I know, I talked to her last night, Sarah was still alright." He said.
They all got me to the door, and we said goodbye with a group hug. It felt good to have such great friends all of a sudden, and I wasn't even a hug person or sentimental. I was terrible at dealing with my emotions. In the van I called Andrea to let her know I had a flight and from the airport I told her I was about to fly back home. Germany disappeared in the sky and I managed to fell asleep a while after.
ANDREA'S POV
"Andrea, you should go home." Belle rubbed my arm as I was falling asleep on the chair.
"No...I want to stay here." I told her.
"It's really late. Let's go home and we come back in the morning." She insisted but I resisted, and I didn't move. "We're not doing anything here. Sarah is asleep, she doesn't even know we're here, and you're pregnant, you should rest."
I thought about her words, it wasn't for me but for Tyler. I got and nodded. "Ok...let's go home. James is coming..." I told her randomly.
"It's the fourth time you tell me that." She said looking serious at me.
"Really?" I asked a bit lost. I was numb, not really remembering what I had told her or not. I just wanted my daughter to be alright. Belle gabbed my arm and began to guide me to the car and I made most of my way there in silence. She grabbed the keys off my purse, and I sat on the passenger seat, when she sat beside and right after starting the car I looked at her. "Have I already told you that James is coming? He must be flying now..." I said with a smile on my lips.
"Oh...Andrea..." Belle sighed and there she didn't say anything else; she just nodded and began to drive. I don't remember the way back home even though I was looking out at the window, but I wasn't seeing anything, just shadows passing by in front of my eyes. I wanted to cry, but no tears came out...I was sedated. I was conscious of that because the doctor gave me a medicine at the peak of my crying attack. Belle even took me to my room when we got home and helped me change to my pajama. I was a bit weak and probably not capable of changing by myself, then she tuck me in bed, and I closed my eyes, falling asleep in seconds.
I can't say I had a great night sleep. I woke up several times, having nightmares. Sometimes I just stayed there awaken staring at the ceiling through darkness, then at 5.30 I was able to sleep again. For hours...I began to open my eyes little by little then and realized some light inside the room, I then remembered that I didn't close the curtains. I blinked a few times, my head pounding and then I saw a shadow on the bed, right in front of my eyes. Then the shadow bent over me and I felt something tickling on my face, lips kissing my cheeks tenderly. My vision focus and I could see the shadow then clearly, and I just knew who was there. I knew his scent by heart...without opening my eyes, I crossed an arm over his neck, and I felt his own surrounding me.
"Oh James...James..." I whispered so glad to have him there again. Happy to have his arms around me and protecting me. "I'm so happy you're here." I cried and his hand pampered my hair.
"Shuuuu..." He shushed in my ear and then his lips kissed my cheek again. I turned my face around a bit so my lips could meet his and cupping his face with both my hands we kissed each other counted times. "I missed you." I whispered.
"I missed you too." He said pulling me against his body one more time. After fully satisfying my need I pulled away a bit to look at him. He looked restless, pale...he was jetlagged, big black bags under his eyes and still, he looked phenomenal. His eyes watered when he looked in mine and mine didn't resist to water too.
"Our girl..." I said shaking a bit.
"The doctor called." He said running a hand over my shoulder. I realized he had been home for some time.
"How long have you been here?" I asked him.
"For two hours..." He said. I frowned and looked at my nightstand, I read 1pm in the clock.
"What? I should have been to the hospital already; Sarah is there alone!" I said almost hysterical. "Why did you let me sleep?" I said preparing to get up, but his hand stopped me. James grabbed me, pulling me to bed again.
"Listen to me." He said and I looked at him quietly. "Sarah..." He chocked and cleaned his eyes.
"James?" I called his name as I saw he was unable to talk. "You said the doctor called..." and he nodded, but he was crying.
"She's back to the sterilized room and she's still in induced coma, the doctor called, he wants to talk to us." He said.
"And didn't he say anything?" I asked.
"No... he just said we need to go there."
"You should have wake me up when you got here." I said going to the bathroom. I had a quick shower and got dressed. Belle had prepared a nice lunch and as the great friend she was, she let James go with me to the hospital, giving us the privacy we then needed. On our way there, I grabbed his hand.
"You look tired." I said.
"Well, tour isn't properly being on vacation and all this happening...jetlag."
"You didn't sleep?" I asked him.
"In the plane I did. Don't worry." He tried to shoot me a smile, but there was no way we could do so. He took my hand to his lips and kissed it and then there was silence again. Silence that kept us company until we got to the doctor's office, but our hands were together, our fingers were wrapped around each other and our souls were together too. We sat in front of the doctor with our legs shaking.
"I've got the result of Sarah's test." He began.
"And?" I asked as James was unable to talk.
"I'm glad the two of you are here." He began and there I knew the news were the worst one's ever possible. James got up of the chair and began to walk in circles. "She is not alright; her condition is terrible. Sarah is very fragile at the moment, she's in risk of internal bleeding, even if we had given her blood again, her white cells are very low too and she's having trouble breathing."
"Oh..." I cried and I felt James hands on my shoulders squeezing them.
"And the test?" James asked.
"She's in constant observation, she's being very well taken care of. We've been controlling the situation. Now all this is due to the fact that her bone marrow is failing almost completely. She's at a very critical point now." Hearing the news made me get up too and clutch onto James, who held me close strongly. We both cried because we knew what that meant.
"Oh God...James..." My voice muffled by his shoulder.
"How much time do we have?" James was able to ask in between sobs.
"Sarah needs a new bone marrow in the next two weeks." He informed us and that was another stab in our hearts. Our worst nightmare was coming true.