After the meeting, Emma settled down in her room and thought about what was said.
"So that's the plan..?"
She wanted to be apart of something big. Something that'll help her family. She wondered about the plan, whether it would work, if it goes smoothly, how long would it take? These thoughts circulated her mind, endlessly.
"I want to hurry and get my family to the human world. No matter what! I'll lead them through whatever it takes!"
Stuck deep in her thoughts, Ray's words echoed her in her mind.
"I just don't want you to get hurt!"
She knows he meant well, but that stung more painfully than her wounds. She didn't want to be seen as weak, or fragile, or something to protect. Ray was the last person she wanted to hear that from. Then slowly, her mind drifted to Anna.
"She was helping him cook, right? Yeah... I saw her there."
Emma looked to the ceiling. "He let her help." she said out loud. Her head throbbed in pain, still.
She let out a sigh as she closed her eyes, wandering deeper into her mind.
"I think I really hurt him back there. I can't believe I did that. I can't even control my emotions of sadness and anger! He was probably so confused.. Of course he probably sees Anna better than me."
She opened her eyes in shock, staring at the ceiling.
"What.? That's why I'm upset..? That's why I..."
She fought her tears the more she thought about Anna.
"Jealous of my own younger sister."
She squeezed her bed sheets.
"I'm pathetic. I really am pathetic."
She refused to cry. She pinched her leg to force her focus on her leg instead of her emotions.
"Sorry for hurting you, Ray.. I'm so sorry."
Her eyes drifted to the reflective ribbon woven into her hair.
She stared at it as her mind went blank.
"Sorry"
~~~
When it was time for dinner, Emma walked down to the dining hall. She awaited the arrival of her other family members as each of them came in one by one.
But when Ray came in, she avoided eye contact. He hesitantly took his usual seat next to her.
Then, the family began eating.
She noticed Ray trying not to look in her direction. His awkwardness was clearer than day. She felt bad for making him feel so uncomfortable. She didn't want to speak, but decided to force herself and atleast try.
"So.. did you hear about the plan?" She asked.
Initially, he looked at her to confirm that she was talking to him and then he replyed quietly.
"Um, no.. Not yet."
"Did Yuugo forget to explain it to you?" She asked.
She noticed her voice. It sounded so plain, uninterested... and mostly empty.
"Yeah, I guess he did."
Ray also sounded awkward. She could tell how hard he tried to act normal but he couldn't. She bit her lip as she thought about what to say next.
"Well.. want me to explain it to you later?"
She squeezed her spoon as she stared at the food infront of her.
"Huh? O-oh if you don't wanna..... you don't have to..!" His voice quivvered.
She didn't know what to say. She wanted to explain it, but she also didn't want to. All She really wanted was to talk to him.
Her patience with herself was running thin.
She decided to simply spit out her true intentions.
Emma looked away from her food towards his direction, but not directly at him.
"I just... wanted to talk to you. If you don't feel comfortable right now, we can talk another time. I can wait."
Ray was taken aback by her sudden honesty. His posture was calmed down and he took a moment before answering.
"Sure. We can talk. How about tonight?" His voice was a whisper. Almost as if he wanted no one to hear. As if he only wanted her to know what he said.
She for some reason became flustered from his idea.
"At night? Just us!? Wait.. it's not the first time it's happened... but still.."
She turned back to her food.
"I...Yeah." She whispered back. "Okay, sure"
He smiled at her response.
But they continued eating in silence.
Once they finished- at the same time- Ray noticed Emma standing by the door of the dining room. She was waiting for him.
He didn't expect that. Ray was slightly surprised that she wanted to walk with him. "Why did she want to talk so urgently?" He thought.
He walked faster so as to not keep her waiting.
"Ready?" She whispered, still avoiding eye contact.
"Yeah."
They instinctively walked to the library as the family fell fast asleep.
The halls grew darker and their footsteps were the only sound in the silence.
The library door creaked with age and they made their way inside.
Ray took his seat first, hoping that she would sit next to him, but instead, Emma sat across from him. The table separated the two.
Emma got straight to the point but she didn't look him in the eyes at all.
"So the plan is..." She started, "three people will enter the seven walls and try to meet the head demon. They will make a promise in hopes to free all of us from the demon world. And the promise we agreed on is,
'We want all humans to be allowed into the human world and for the gate between the world's only to be accessible to humans.'"
Ray looked at her seriously.
"Why does it have to be accessible at All?"
"There should always be a possible way of passage between the world's. We agreed that if anything happened, we want to be sure that we aren't stuck. We want to be able to go back if needed. And it won't be an issue if its just the human side."
"I see." He said as he rested his head on his hand. "Anything else?"
"We don't know enough until we actually go.. so no, nothing else is planned about the seven walls." She said.
"Okay. But who's going? You said three people right?"
"That's undecided." She said. She looked to the side.
He stared at her from that answer.
"Undecided?" He repeated.
She stayed silent.
"You're probably thinking of going aren't you?"
Emma squeezed her hands.
"And you're going to be reckless. Aren't you?"
Her eyes drifted back to him.
"And you're probably going to get yourself hurt, too. Aren't you?"
She got up from her seat and leaned over the table with anger.
"For the second time! I-"
"Which is why I'm going too." He said, cutting her off.
She stared in shock.
"H- What!??"
"I'm going."
"No, you can't! It's dangerous, you can't go!"
"I'm going to keep you safe, Emma."
She anger rose. She leaned further across the table. And shouted to get the message across.
"You don't need to keep me safe! FOR THE VERY LAST TIME, I AM NOT WEAK!"
He stood up abruptly and leaned into the table as well.
He held her chin in his fingers and looked straight into her glowing green eyes.
That was the first time she made eye contact with Ray during this conversation.
He raised his voice.
"I'm doing it because I love you!"
She was thrown off guard.
"Huh?"
"It's because I love you. Not because you're weak. Or in need of help, or because you're unreliable. Because you're not! You have the strongest will, determination and power that none of us have. And you fail to acknowlege it in yourself.
EMMA! YOU ARE. NOT. WEAK! WE KNOW THAT! But I'm not underestimating you. I'm not thinking of you as any less than anyone here. But... I love you. And that's why I wanna keep you safe. I want to keep you from pain... Because I love you... Okay.?"
She stared at him with surprise. She knew that already. She knew that he loved her. She KNEW! So why was it so surprising to be reminded about it?
Tears suddenly fell down her face.
She noticed them, but she didn't believe in them. She let them fall and watched them flow. It's like they were telling her to stop lying to herself, telling her how blind she was.
She watched them flow down endlessly. They blurred her vision but she kept watching them anyway.
Ray looked at her tears fall. He let go of her head and slowly made his way around the table.
Ray brought his arm around her to hold her head to his shoulder. Her fingers held onto his shirt tightly and tears continued falling and falling. There was no end.
He brought his face to her ear and whispered softly while embracing her.
"Lets talk, Emma. Kay?"
"...Kay," she whispered back. Her grip on him slightly tightened.
"Okay." She repeated.