I DIDN'T KNOW IT could feel like this.
Like the moment after the first drop on a roller coaster – plummeting as your stomach clenches, your body tightening in anticipation for what will happen next, only to experience joyful ecstasy as you fly through the earth in the most dreamlike way. Floating through the ride, solely to find that each twist and turn gets better and better, and you wish it would never end.
Like you're careening through the universe – getting lost in space with all the bright lights and the dazzling shades of the galaxies. Overloaded with sensory stimulation. Experiencing new sights and colors and sensations all at the same time, but by the most magnificent and awe-inducing means.
I wish I never had to move. That I could stay wrapped in his body forever.
He's released a part of me I didn't know I could revive. What I once was experiencing in muted tones, I now see in vivid red, yellow and blue.
Harry's fingers trace his own artistic designs against my hip. We lay naked, tangled in his sheets.
"I have to get ready for the show," Harry murmurs quietly against me. He plants a gentle kiss on the back of my head. "I'll get someone to pick you up for the Forum tonight, okay?"
I nod my head slowly. My eyes are still closed while a soft smile spreads on my face, but it quickly transforms to a grimace when I notice I can't even twist my torso to move toward him.
My whole body aches.
We kept each other up for several hours into the night and now I can barely move. I can't comprehend sitting up right now, let alone performing a sold-out arena show. But I've never met someone as disciplined and committed as Harry. He would do anything if he was passionate for it.
"Congrats." I say, finally rubbing open my eyes to see his disheveled hair and beautiful smile.
"On what? The sex?" He smirks with an evil gleam. "Yea, that was pretty good."
I glare lasers at him, too tired for his snarky jokes.
"For the album release," I groan, slapping him on the arm.
He laughs boldly.
"I don't know. I feel like the sex deserves more of a congratulation."
"Oh my god, just get up." I chuckle, pushing him off the bed.
I fall back onto the mattress while he moves across the floor. I close my eyes again. My body is refusing to wake up.
I hear his feet tread around the bedroom floor while he grabs his clothes, followed by the rushing of water from the bathroom sink. More soft steps sound before the door to the room closes behind him with a resounding click.
My mind stays conscious for another few moments before the pleasant swells of silence rock me into a deep sleep once more.
✤ ✤ ✤
By the time my mind stirs again a couple of hours later, the clock shows it's already 1 PM.
I groan and stretch my arms, willing myself to untangle my tired limbs from the sheets. I slowly turn my body, moving my legs to feel the fluffy wool rug beneath my feet.
Once I gain my footing, I amble over to the bathroom, pulling the sheet along with me to wrap around my bare body. I take in my reflection. Chuckling at the messy waves of hair, pushed and pulled around by Harry's long fingers.
I comb through it to diffuse the mess, then I brush my teeth and wash my face before putting on the slightest amount of concealer – attempting to feel slightly more presentable for the day.
I wander out of the room to find my bag that Harry dropped in the living room the night before. After grabbing some clothes I make my way to the kitchen – dreaming of all types of food to fill my empty stomach. But when I enter the room, my eyes squint at the unexpected sight.
The largest bouquet of sunflowers I've ever seen in my life rests plainly on the counter.
My jaw drops, completely thrown off by the startling gesture.
I walk toward them tentatively, as if they're just an eerie mirage, bound to disappear at any moment – until I stop, noticing a hand-scribbled note lying near the bottom of the vase.
In large bold letters, the piece of paper reads "For you" in Harry's familiar scratchy writing. My heart nearly bursts at the seams, threatening to spill out all over the floor.
But then I catch sight of another paper, placed carefully under his first note.
Sunflower, Vol. 6 → Listen to me
I grasp both notes in my hand, holding them tightly while the shock rings through my mind.
He did not.
I've been so distracted by everything with my personal life and anything that would hurt our relationship, that I nearly forgot how mysterious he's been with his album. And now that it's finally out, he's let go of his long-kept secret.
The same edgy suspense I experienced before pervades my body – from back when Harry dragged me into his music room in London. It takes a few minutes for me to shake myself out of it. I slowly put the notes back on the counter before grabbing my phone and stepping toward the speaker I saw in the living room the day before.
I connect my phone to the system before sitting down in a velvety cushioned chair. I pull my knees up to my chest, wrapping myself in a ball while I scroll through his new album on my phone.
A wide grin paints my face.
It looks beautiful.
I scan through the songs, hardly able to hold back my pride. He's a creative genius.
I spot the title of the song he wrote on the paper then hold my thumb above the link – pausing for a moment before I nervously press the track. Mystifying notes begin to play through the speaker.
The synthy underwater intro echoes loudly throughout the living room, trapping me in what feels like an inescapable aquarium of sound.
The first pass of his voice resonates through the air. The word "sunflower" rings in my ears, causing a broad smirk to form across my cheeks. A few seconds tick by before the addition of the drums and bass, then Harry's alluring voice sings once again.
Sunflower, my eyes,
want you more than a melody.
Let me, inside.
Wish I could get to know you.
My mouth gapes along with the bopping beat. I let out a small laugh – the meaning of his double innuendo clearly not missed.
Sunflowers, sometimes,
keep it sweet in your memory.
I was, just tongue-tied.
Sitar enters the song. I become fully absorbed in a different universe.
I don't want to make you feel bad,
but I've been trying hard not to talk to you.
Sunflower (Sunflower, sunflower).
I couldn't want you any more,
Kiss in the kitchen like it's a dance floor.
I couldn't want you any more tonight,
(Tonight, tonight, tonight).
The music switches to the bridge and I can't wipe the ridiculous grin off my face.
I hold my knees tight against my chest while I listen carefully to all the hidden references meant just for me.
Wondering headshake,
tired eyes are the death of me.
Mouthful of toothpaste,
before I got to know you.
I've got your face
Hung up high in the gallery.
I love this shade,
(Sunflower, sunflower).
The second refrain passes before Harry sings the chorus once more. I'm hypnotized by his beautiful mind. All his admissions effectively freeze me in the chair.
As the song comes to an end, Harry moves on to a sequence of shrill yells and sounds which only make my smile grow wider. By the time the track ends and cuts off in silence, I'm blushing madly from my chest all the way up to my cheeks.
I pause the music, letting the weight of his words sink in.
I don't know what I did to deserve the infatuation of someone so wonderful.
I wish I could explain to him just how much he means to me, but I starting to believe that's not even possible.
I quickly change positions, releasing my legs while glancing at the time on my phone.
Three hours.
I've got three hours before I'm supposed to be heading off to the Forum.
An impulsive thought comes to mind. I immediately pull up Google, typing in a query to figure out how to execute my idea. I rake my hair into a bun, pulling it out of my face in order to concentrate.
I press play on Harry's album while I search, going back to the beginning to listen straight through. Another smile appears when I notice that the first track of the album is Golden.
I lean back into the chair, bobbing my feet up and down while the sound of his voice reverberates through the home.
✤ ✤ ✤
Author's Note (2/3/20):
Wow. We're nearing the end. That's seriously so crazy to me – my mind can't even wrap around that.
One positive thing is that means I'LL HAVE TIME TO READ AGAIN.
Give me some book recommendations guys! I honestly don't even care what genre. Harry. Non-Harry. Thriller. Fantasy. I don't care, I'm just starved.
If you have any good books – leave a comment here! I'll be checking back consistently. No requirements on your recommendations except that the writing uses decent grammar. Leave me a little summary of what it's about too!
Thanks! You guys are the b e s t.
- Elle