"I'm sorry," Ron said, staring at Harry. They were sitting in the sixth year boy's dormitory, killing time before dinner. "You spent your day practicing Occlumency?"
"Yes," Harry said. "It was miserable, though I am getting better at it. What did you do?" At this, Ron blushed scarlet, his face clashing nicely with his hair.
"Not much," he mumbled. But Harry had been friends with Ron for too long to know that this meant Ron was hiding something.
"Ron," he said slowly.
"Okay, fine," Ron said. "If you really must know, Pansy and I went to the Room of Requirement." Harry nodded sagely. That explained why Ron looked so relaxed. He'd gotten laid.
"And?" Harry prompted. He had a longstanding bet with Seamus as to when Ron would lose his virginity. Not that he would ever tell Ron that. Seamus had predicted that it wouldn't be until seventh year, but Harry would never sell his best friend that short and had bet it would be before Christmas.
"You really want to know?" Ron asked.
"Yeah, mate," Harry said, even though he didn't really. "Give me all the details." They were sitting on their respective beds, across from each other. Harry pulled his legs up until he was sitting crosslegged. He leaned down and rested his head on his hands, elbows on his knees - the picture of rapt attention.
"Well, first we kissed a lot, and then-" Harry sat up, held out a hand and stopped him there.
"Ok, by all the details, I guess I mean all the pertinent details."
"Right," Ron said, turning, if it were possible, even more red. He was nearly the color of his bedspread now. "And you're sure you want to hear this?"
"Why wouldn't I?" Ron shrugged.
"Fair. Sex is sex, I guess." Harry nodded, already counting his winnings in his head. "Well, she sucked me off. Which, might I add was not like fucking an apple pie."
"I'm not sure that's how the metaphor worked," Harry muttered, but Ron carried on, ignoring him.
"Which, like, it's already great when you use your hand, you know? But it's like ten times better when it's someone else, and, uh, it's their mouth." Harry nodded. This he did understand. He understood the sex part too, but he figured it would be different with a girl. Fewer dicks for example.
"Definitely," Harry agreed.
"And, uh, well, then I returned the favor. I think. It took a while and I had no idea what I was doing." Harry nodded again. "I think it went well? She made all the right noises either way." This was starting to enter the too many details territory. And Harry was starting to wonder if he wasn't going to win his bet with Seamus today. "Then, I dunno, we went to Charms class."
"Charms class is not a euphemism, is it?" Harry asked.
"No," Ron said, then he paused and cocked his head to the side, frowning at Harry. "Why do you ask? Is this about your bet with Seamus?" Harry's mouth fell open.
"How?" he stuttered.
"Oh, Seamus let slip the other day. I appreciate the vote of confidence, mate." Ron leaned across the space between their beds and clapped Harry on the arm. "Particularly as I didn't have a girlfriend when you made the bet."
"Does this mean you have a girlfriend now?" Harry asked. Ron leaned back again and shifted nervously on his bed.
"Unsure," he said. "I haven't officially asked, you know?"
"Perhaps you should," Harry said.
"What if she says no?"
"Ron, she gave you a blowjob earlier today. I think that indicates she likes you."
"But-"
"-Ron, she had your dick in her mouth," Harry snapped. "She likes you. Ask her out you numpty."
"Okay."
...
Dinner was a somber affair particularly for a Friday evening. Most of the students were still subdued. Even Seamus was quiet. Seamus wasn't sitting at the Gryffindor table, but rather was sitting at the Hufflepuff table, next to a pale Justin Finch-Fletchley, rubbing small circles into his back. So maybe he could be good boyfriend material.
Harry felt drained after his mostly full day of Occlumency training, but he was strangely not hungry. Having Snape delve into his mind over and over again had left him feeling empty in a way that food couldn't fill. He had been grateful that Draco had been there. If he'd been alone, he wasn't sure he could have managed it.
At least it seemed as though he had made some progress. Once he had shared his patronus theory with Draco and Snape, Snape had seemed almost impressed that Harry had made the connection. Though he had then sneered that had Harry figured this out last year they wouldn't still be having these lessons. Because everyone knew (or at least the teachers did, Draco had been surprised) that Harry could perform a corporeal patronus. And Merlin, was Harry slow for not realizing the similarities sooner.
It had only been Draco's foot brushing against his calf that had kept him calm enough to continue the lesson after that comment. Snape was better this year, but he was still a bit of an arse.
And so Harry picked listlessly at his steak and mushroom pie. Or, at least, he did until he felt a note scuttle up his leg.
Meet me after dinner? It read in Draco's handwriting. Harry was pleased to realize that he knew what Draco's handwriting looked like. It was cramped and narrow, but with long verticals and large, looping capitals - both elegant and spiky, just like Draco.
Hermione looked over at the note and preemptively handed Harry her quill.
"Thanks," he said.
Sure, where? he scrawled under Draco's words before banishing the note across the hall to the blond. He watched as Draco read the note and slapped a hand to his forehead. He looked up and caught Harry's eye.
Potion's room came the eventual response. Harry caught Draco's eye again and raised his eyebrows. Draco scowled and nodded in return. Harry shrugged.
"Oh, stop flirting," Neville said and Harry realized with a start he had been facing Neville the whole time, just looking over his shoulder.
"Sorry," he said. Neville just shook his head.
"No subtlety," he muttered and then waved shyly at someone at the Hufflepuff table over Harry's shoulder.
...
"Hey, Pansy." Ron had run out into the entrance hall after her once she had left with the Slytherins after dinner. Blaise, Draco and Pansy all turned around.
"Yes?" she asked. Blaise nudged Draco in the ribs and jerked his head towards the staircase to the dungeons and Ron had never felt so grateful to the man.
"Draco, wait for me," came a voice behind Ron. This was Harry, lord of obliviousness and master of heedlessness. (Granted, Ron wasn't doing much better on this front, but then again if he started dating a Slytherin and offspring of a Death Eater, it wouldn't be front-page news because he wasn't Harry Potter.)
"Ah yes," Blaise said pointedly. "Friends. Hello. Harry, won't you come with us. We were just heading to the common room. As we're all friends now, we can all do that together." Harry blinked at him for a moment before getting the hint.
"Okay," Harry said. "Yes, friends." He smiled at them. This was helped by the fact that Hermione appeared a moment later behind Harry, quickly took in the situation, and followed Harry, Draco and Blaise down to the dungeons.
Once they were clear of the entrance hall, Blaise rounded on Harry.
"You have no tact," he said.
"This is accurate," Draco said.
"Unfortunately," Hermione said. "I second that." Harry looked around at them, scandalized.
"Potter," Blaise said. "You have been blessed by the fact that most people are as oblivious as you are and so haven't noticed your sudden close, personal relationship with Draco, but if you keep running around after him like a lost puppy, people are going to cotton on."
"And Draco," Hermione said. "You need to stop with the longing glances across the Great Hall."
"I do not," Draco started to say.
"Yes, you do," Blaise said. Draco scowled.
"Who knew dating a celebrity was so much work," he muttered.
"Me," Harry said. "I knew."
"And what celebrity have you dated?" Draco snapped.
"Viktor Krum," Harry deadpanned.
"What?"
"No," Hermione interjected. "That was me. And we all remember the stupid articles, don't we? So let's let that drop now." She put a hand on Draco's arm. "But I do remember how miserable that was, and I don't want that to happen to you, so you need to control your boyfriend."
"I need to control him?" Draco spluttered at the same time that Harry cried,
"He needs to control me?"
Blaise threw up his hands.
"Somehow, you two need to come up with a system of communicating that is much more subtle than the one you have. Note passing in the Great Hall? How old are you? Thirteen?"
"What else are we supposed to do?" Draco snapped. "That's as subtle as I could think of. And I'm a Slytherin, Blaise, in case you had forgotten." Draco crossed his arms in front of his chest and glared at his house-mate. Hermione frowned at the three of them. She was clearly running through spells in her mind. Harry could tell by the way she was staring somewhat at the middle distance to the floor and her eyes were flicking back and forth, as if reading some invisible book.
Blaise started to say something but Harry shushed him. It was best not to interrupt Hermione when she was thinking like this. After about thirty seconds, where both Blaise and Draco started to say things but Harry shut them up either by waving at them, or in the case of Draco, lightly kicking him, Hermione looked up again.
"I think I have an idea," she said.
...
"Uh," Ron said. Now that he and Pansy were alone in the entrance hall, his courage had dried up.
"Yes?"
"Uh, would you," he started. But then he stopped.
"Would I what?" Pansy asked. Ron took a deep breath and tried to remember Harry's words from earlier about her having his dick in her mouth. But then he realized that didn't help the situation at all because now all he could think about was his dick in her mouth and how good it had felt and... Fuck. His trousers tightened. Ron worried his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment, willing his nether regions to stop being so bloody obvious, but to no avail. There was nothing for it.
"Will you go out with me?" he asked. The words came out so quickly he was surprised he had managed to keep them all in the right order. Pansy's eyebrows shot up. Fuck. She hadn't expected that.
Ron steeled himself for the rejection. He had known it was coming. Of course he had. Despite their afternoon (morning? Time was irrelevant) activities, she couldn't like him.
All thoughts of dicks in mouths left his brain and the tightness in his crotch area lessened.
Of course she didn't like him. He was just deluding himself. He was just a warm body on a bad day. Why would anyone as lovely as her like someone like him?
"Yes," she said.
"That's alright, I'll be sure not to make Potions awkward after - wait," Ron had started speaking before his brain had fully processed what she had said. "Wait," he repeated. "Yes?" She smirked at him.
"Yes," she said again.
"Wait, really?"
"Yes really."
"Oh," he said.
"Unless you don't want to?" she asked, sounding confused.
"No, no, I want to. I just figured you would say no," Ron said quickly.
"Why would I do that?"
"Because you're much more attractive than I am."
"Ron," Pansy said with a sigh. "You sell yourself short."
"I do?" She rolled her eyes at him. Then she reached out and took his hands, which had been hanging dumbly by his sides.
"Yes," she said. "And although my parents may disown me for this, I agree to go out with you."
"I didn't know I was risking parental wrath," he said. He shuffled closer to her and she smiled up at him. "That almost makes this sexier." She rolled her eyes at him.
"Don't push your luck," she said and kissed him, right there in the entrance hall for everyone to see.