'Gabiela! I swear to God you little shit get out of bed before I come and get you myself' a voice yells into my disrupting me from my perfect dream. Mom seems like she's in a bad mood today, no surprise there.
I quickly get dressed and run out the flat heading to school. I flicker my gaze onto Mom for a moment, her laid out on the carpet with a fresh needle in her arm. You never quite get used to the sight, that's meant to be your mother but you're the one who has to be responsible. Despite this hard exterior I've built of myself, I can't look too long. I know this is my fault, the way she is.
I instead distract myself with the thought of school. I love school, I know it's weird but I get this weird rush of excitement. There I'm not just normal, I'm perfect and I crave that acceptance. Everyone looking at me and wishing they had my life, that they looked like me. I swear you get addicted to that feeling. Once I arrived it was just a normal day. I was in the canteen laughing at a meme on one of my friend's phone when the intercom ran out.
'Miss Cattaneo to the office please'
I could feel everybody looking at me wondering what on earth was going on. I was known for creating a perfect image for myself and everybody loved me for it. I was the most popular girl in the school, but I felt like nobody knew me. Well, not the real me anyway. I gathered up my stuff and headed to the office. The receptionist gave me a somewhat sympathetic look as I knocked on the headmasters office. I could feel that small bit of anxiety growing, but before it could escape I got called into the office.
'Come in' boomed the deep voice of the headmaster. I'd never met the headmaster on bad terms before and I wasn't going to start now.
'Hi' I confidently said giving him my best smile. He returned my smile but only half-heartily. I notice that he has an older man and woman in the room. The man stared at me intently whilst the woman gave me a soft smile. There was something familiar about this man, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
'Gabriela please sit' he instructs me, gesturing to the chair in front of him.
'Miss Cattaneo I'm so sorry but your mother died today. She took an overdose and by the time they found her, it was too late.'
'My Mom died? My Mom? Valentina Cattaneo.' I frantically ask.
They all give a long slow nod. Only the headmaster and the woman look upset for me, the man looks like he's stifling his anger.
I can't imagine what's going through their head, how did it happen? Was she always an addict? Is it my fault? Is Gabriela addicted as well?
Adults always think we can go to them for help, but the situation will always get a million times worse.
The lady begins talking and introduces her self as a social worker 'It is the law for an minor to be given an guardian. Naturally, you need one as well. I'm sure you're aware of your father's death so the next parental figure isn't possible. However, your oldest brother Alessandro Cattaneo has agreed to take guardianship over you just as he has for your youngest brother Xavier Cattaneo and previously for the twins.'
My dad died 4 years ago but Mom didn't allow Xavier or I to go to the funeral and this is the first time I've heard someone mention my dad. I can scarcely take it in. My mom is dead, my dad is dead and now I have to live with my brothers who I haven't seen in 10 years.
The headmaster continues talking 'This is your brother Matteo' nodding his head towards the intimating man in the corner. He continues talking, instructing me how Matteo will be taking me home with him but I am barely listening.
This is Matteo? This tall man covered with muscles is my brother? He looks at me smirking. He probably still remembers me as the small five year old who used to run into my brother's rooms when my parents were arguing. How different things used to be.
I don't return the smirk and stare at him stone faced. They let her leave with us. They were 18, 17, 16 and 9 when Mom took Xavier and I. They could have protected us, God knows they were old enough, but they didn't.
I think that's worse than what Mom did. At least she stuck around, they never bothered with a Birthday or Christmas card. No loving messages. No nothing. It was like they disappeared off the face of the earth and didn't bother to take us.
Can you imagine that? Brothers leaving their baby sister. It hurts more than I care to admit.
'Can I not just stay here' I ask bluntly interrupting the flow of the conversation.
'No' Matteo speaks for the first time 'It's been arranged, you're coming with me'
This isn't the brother I remember. His voice is firm and emotionless. What happened to my brother who used to stick pasta up his nose to make us laugh? Then again, what happened to me?
There is a short staring contest but I know I'm not going to win so I submit to the move.
'It was nice knowing you Gabi' the headmaster says as I leave the room. I give him a weak smile in return.
I follow Matteo to the car and wow have things changed. I wasn't expecting him to pick me up in a posh black land rover but then again I wasn't expecting my Mom to die so oh well shit happens. It's just another reminder that he's a grown up now, and I'm in their care.
He already knows the directions to the apartment and I'm not surprised. This is typical Matteo I think, always has to act superior.
He follows me into the flat and I can feel the disgust on his face. I instantly feel protective. I know mom wasn't the best but she did the best she could considering her addictions.
'Wait here' I murmur 'I'm going to get my stuff'
I can feel him glaring at me but I'm guessing he doesn't want to have a fight from the first moment we've met so he lets it slide. I walk slowly heading to my room taking it all in. The hole next to the door from when Mom's ex got drunk and smashed her head into the wall or the stain on the ceiling from when the neighbors over flooded their bathroom and it crashed down onto us.
Their bad memories, but it made me who I am and I fear my brother's aren't going to understand that.
I take a look around my room. I don't have much apart from lots of clothes. My clothes were my armor, it hid my poverty and sadness. People at school would never have guessed I was from a council estate by the power of fashion.
I shove all my clothes into Mom's big suitcase, the one she used the night she ran away with Xavier and I. Any extra objects I put into plastic bags. I shuffle out the room bumping into the walls. Matteo leans over to help me but I flinch. I don't want their help.
'Well lets go' he mutters in his deep voice.
The car journey is painfully awkward. Neither of us say anything for the entire journey until we pull up to the familiar gates.
'I'll show you where your room is' he commands me whilst getting out of the car and unlocking the front door.
'I remember where my room is' defending myself. I don't want his help so I rush up the main stairs in a huff.
Actually, maybe I did need Matteo's help. I am getting slightly lost. It has been a while since I've been here.
I was on one of the corridors when I hear the thudding of footsteps behind me. I know who they belong too. I turn round with a smile only to be met with a sudden darkness came over.
'Gabrielaaaa! My favourite sister. It has been too long'
I look up to see the grinning face of Xavier. His blue eyes were flashed with excitement and although I wasn't excited to be here, I was happy to see Xavier. Xavier was still my best friend despite not seeing him in 3 years.
'I missed you' I muffled out.
Xavier choose to live after Mom's ex Ian hit him over the head with a beer bottle after he attempted to help her when he was drunk. I was going to go too but when I found out he was going to our brother's, I refused. I didn't understand his reasoning, they left us and only welcomed him was he came. Children shouldn't have to save themselves. Separation from my closest brother broke my heart, but we tried to keep in contact through social media but that wasn't the same as seeing him in person.
I breathed in his familiar smell of fruity cologne.
'Where do you think you're heading too?' he chuckles while still laying down on me.
'My room dumbass'
'And you think you're room is on this floor?'
'Well get off me and show me then' I giggle back as he hoists me off the floor.
'Let's go Gabi my babi'
We link arms and he runs to the other side of the house pointing out who's room belonged to who.
'You remember the order of the rooms, oldest to youngest. So that means your next to me'
I walk into my room and I can't say anything. Nothing has changed. The walls are still bright pink and the bed would only fit a small child, not a 15 year old. The walls were covered in princess posters. This room bought back so many mixed memories I didn't want to remember.
I was happy here. I had my dad, my brothers. I was part of a family, with members who would read me stories at night and comfort me during thunderstorms. I don't think I'm part of that family anymore.
I can feel Xavier still standing behind me 'I know, my room was the same. It was a shock seeing my superman posters compared to the tit photos at home. Once Alessandro gets home he'll give you money to redecorate it.'
I'm still stunned so Xavier's lighthearted comment just rolls of my back. I don't understand why they didn't change it. I can tell Xavy is sensing my bad mood so he just backs off and tells me he'll call me for dinner. How dare they? I haven't lived here in 10 years. I've moved on and so should they. I'm just so angry and I can't help it. I start pulling down all my posters in a blind fury and ripping off the curtains and wallpaper. I go to tip over the bed when I'm restrained by some strong arms
'Shh Gabi' the mysterious voice says.
I can't breath. I need to get out of here but I can't move. I can't communicate it either as I'm sobbing and sobbing. The mysterious guy drags me out of my room and into another. He then releases me to which I collapse to a crumble on the floor. I just cry for a couple minutes until I look up and met by the face of one of the twins. I'm not sure which one it is.
'Which one are you?' I growl getting off the floor, wiping away my tears.
'Lorenzo. You ok?' He looks somewhat concerned, couldn't fool me.
'No. Why the fuck was my room exactly the same'
'Language sorella. We didn't want to go into it until you came back home'
'This isn't home'
'It's where you're family is' he fires back
'I don't want to go back in there' my voice break downs
He stares at me weirdly but then grabs my arm and leads me down a corridor and then down a different one. He enters the room
'It's the spare room, you can stay here till we sort out yours' remarked Lorenzo
I take a look around the room. Its white and sparse but clean so I don't mind it. It has no link to the old me so thats good. It also has a shower so I head there and freshen up. I'm so tired though so I pass out on the comfy mattress.
I wake up to Xavy sitting on the other side of the bed. He's busy on his phone but looks up when I turn round to see him.
'Everyone's home now, they want you to come down for tea'
I shrug and follow him out the room. He throws his arm around my shoulder and I snuggle into his chest.
We head into the kitchen laughing over a meme where I'm met by the smell of steaming hot lasagna.
'We thought we could have a family meal tonight sis as you've just arrived.' Lorenzo shouts from across the kitchen whilst chucking cheese at his double who I'm guessing is Leonardo. They're both around 6'2 from the looks of it. Leonardo barely acknowledges me as he's too busy catching the food from Lorenzo.
Matteo walks suddenly into the room behind me and takes his place at the table. I can hear more footsteps following him and I know it'll be a full room of brothers for the first time in 10 years and I don't know if I'm prepared for it. I look at Xav with a panic look on my face and he takes the hint and shows me to the table where I sit next to him for security. Just as I'm sitting my two eldest brothers enter the room, Alessandro and Francisco. They take a fleeting look at my face for a second and thats that. Like everyone, they don't care what I've been through. They help grab the side dishes and assist the twins with setting up the dinner on the table. When it's all done, I have Xavy to one side of me and Leonardo opposite. The table is awkwardly quiet and I can feel everybodies eyes on me.
If they want me to say something they're more fucking stupid than I thought they were.
'Well lets eat' Alessandro commands us.
The table soon fills up with conversation but despite Xavy and Lorenzo's attempts, I don't speak. I can't eat either. It's not serious, it's just that I don't like it. I get anxious and worried, so when I do eat I nearly always throw up. I can't have my brother's on my case from the moment I arrive though so I put some salad onto my plate and eat that. I can feel Alessandro's eyes on me but he chooses not to comment. The meal goes smoothly and I discover that Alessandro and Francisco were working at the family business today, the twins and Xavy were at school. The twins were in their final year and Xav was just in the year above me. Matteo was obviously with me and I was thankful that he didn't talk about how awkward our meeting was.
I helped Xav clean away the dinner and was walking up the stairs when I felt a hand on the shoulder. I turned around to see who this belonged too only to be met by my eldest brother. Even when I was little he was able to intimidate me, but I don't remember it being this bad. He was the tallest of the brothers with a towering height of 6'6 and sharp blue eyes. He had grown a trimmed, stylish beard now and was definitely a man now.
'Lets talk Gabi' he commands leading me down a different corridor leaving me alone with my guardian.
XXXXX
Please comment and Vote! What did you guys think? xx