It had been about a week since Charlie and Alex had kissed, and they were still going head strong with their relationship. They kept it a secret out of fear of judgement though. In school they would do things like hold hands under the desk in lab class, kiss when no one was looking, and sit as close as possible at lunch without looking suspicious. Katie would sit with them as always but she was always so distracted with her own talking that she didn't notice.
Charlie's heart would flutter every time he was close to Alex. He really loved this boy. He felt silly for not realizing it sooner. It all made sense though. He knew now why his ears would heat up when they hugged, why he thought about him so much, and why there were times where he wished he was laying down beside him in bed on lonely nights.
Alex was everything to him. Charlie couldn't ask for anything more.
"Are you guys going?" Katie said.
The sounds of a noisy cafeteria and Katie's chatter came back to Charlie.
He blinked. "Hm?" He said tilting his head.
"To Homecoming?" She replied.
Charlie blinked again. Social gatherings were defitantly not his cup of tea. On his bad days, he can barely handle being in the cafeteria. And a school dance would be much louder than slamming of lucnch tray's, and would feel more crowded than the lines for "Extra Chilli" Day's.
Although, he didn't wanna say no without talking about it with Alex. Maybe he would want to go.
He looked over to Alex for a possible answer. He looked for signs of excitement or hope but found none. He didn't look opposed to the idea either though.
"We'll think about it" Alex said glancing over at Charlie. He blushes, realising what he had said might have been given them away. "I mean-" his whole body tensed up, "Seperatly! Each of us will think about it seperatly!" He stuttered. Katie just looked at him with a confused expression.
"Ooookay?" She said with a raised eyebrow. "Really think about how much fun it could be though please" She begged. "The music, the dancing...the food!" She beamed. "By the way...If you are going to the dance, any thoughts on who you might bring?" She grinned.
Alex chuckled. "If I did go, I think I have someone In mind" He said looking down at his tray smiling.
The bell rang, causing kids to scatter. "Crud" Alex said. He shoved his bag of chips in his pocket and took care of his tray with Charlie. It took them two minutes to make through the crowd and put their trays up. Alex held onto the rest of his sandwich to eat on the way. Katie, not wanting to ruin her perfect attendance, went ahead and left. This left Charlie and Alex to walk on their own down the hall to their study hall in the library.
Once they got there, they went to their usual spot in the far back with the bean bag chairs. Technically they were supposed to be at a desk looking busy, but if they were quiet enough the librarian usually didn't even notice when there were 25 other kids there.
"So uh.." Alex said laying back in his bean bag chair. His fingers traced along the books on the shelf next to him. "You wanna go to that dance?"
There was a long pause. When Alex didn't hear Charlie scribbling down an answer in his notebook, he lifted his head up. He saw Charlie looking down at his notebook, biting his lip. His pencil was touching the paper but he was hesitant to make an answer.
He dreaded the idea of going. But Alex seemed to want to, he did ask anyway. But what if something happened? What if it all became too much for him and he ruined the night for him?...Would Alex want to slow dance with him?...As much as he liked the idea of Alex embracing him like that, what if people stared? What if they laughed? What if they found it disgusting and bullied them for the rest of their school years?
Did Alex not care what others thought? What if he was the one being the coward, and Alex was just hiding their relationship for him?
"Hey" Alex said putting his hand over Charlie's. "We don't have to go if you don't want to" He said.
Charlie looked into Alex's eyes.
Alex did so much for him...the least he could do was do this for him.
Charlie looked back down at his paper and wrote down his answer.
'We can go' He wrote.
"Are you sure?" Alex asked. His thumb rubbed back and forth across Charlie's hand.
Charlie gave him a nod. He could do this. It was just a dance. No big deal.
"Alright. looks like we're going" Alex said smiling.
Charlie nodded again, chewing on his thumbnail. Rather quickly though, his thumb started to slip into his mouth, and soon he was sucking on his thumb without even realising it at first.
"Awww" Alex said as if he was looking at a puppy.
Charlie whined a little in embarassment but kept his thumb in his mouth.
"It's alright" Alex chuckled. "come here" He said stretching his arms out. Charlie got out of his beanbag and crawled over to Alex. He climbed on top of him and snuggled into his chest, all the while keeping his thumb in his mouth. Alex smiled and nuzzled into his little pup's soft hair.
Charlie quickly relaxed in Alex's arms, listening to the boy's heart beat and soft voice as he read a book to him for the next 35 minutes.
******************
"Awwww, Charlie! You look so handsome!" Mia chirped. Charlie walked the rest of the way down the stairs smiling a little. "Does it fit okay?"
Charlie gave her a nod. It was the right size, but the collar felt kinda tight. Or maybe it was the lump in his throat.
"Oh good" Mia pulled out her wallet from her purse. "Here's the money to get in" She said handing him fifteen dollars, "and some extra for some snacks". Charlie put it safely in his pocket and signed 'Thank you' to her.
Just then the door bell rang.
"Oh, that must be Alex and Katie" Mia said going to the door. "Hi guys! come on in" She said.
First Alex stepped in. wow. He looked...so handsome in his suit. Charlie couldn't help but stare. Alex did the same.
"Hi" Alex said grinning like a goof. Charlie giggled. He loved the way Alex's ears lifted when he smiled. If they were alone, he would of kissed his face a dozen times to keep that adorable grin on his face for as long as possible.
"Guys" Katie said poking her head in. "My mum's waiting in the car". She blushed and put a hand up to her mouth. "Mom" She corrected herself.
Alex looked at her with a raised eyebrow, still smiling.
"I didn't know you had an accent" He said curiously.
Katie's face almost went beat red. "I'm...originally from England. We moved here when I was eight. I try to hide my accent as best I can but it slips out sometimes". She said looking away.
"You shouldn't hide it" Alex said. "It adds onto your...interesting personality" He chuckled.
Katie looked at him. "Really?" She said full of hope. "Wait..why'd you say 'interesting' like that?" She said scrunching up her nose.
Alex just bursted out laughing and pointed at her. "You should see the look on your face!" He laughed.
Charlie looked at them both. His collar felt as though it was getting tighter, and his stomach was sinking.
"Ugh, let's just go" Katie huffed crossing her arms.
"No no wait!" Mia said pulling out her phone. "Let me just get a quick picture of you guys".
She had them stand together at the bottom of the stairs together, Charlie to the left and Katie to the right, leaving Alex in the middle. She snapped a few pictures and finaly sent them on their way.
"Hey, race ya to the car!" Alex said to Katie before sprinting off.
"Hey!" Katie said. She picked up her poofy dress and ran after him. "No fair, I'm wearing heels!"
Charlie watched as they ran to the car together. He felt as though he was third wheel. Despite the fact that Alex was his date, not Katies.
Though it already felt like she was.
****************
The music was so loud you could hear it from outside the building, a clear sign to Charlie that it was already going to be too loud for his comfort.
The three of them walked in, handed their admission fee, and it was off to the dance floor. Or, more like it was off to the dance floor for Katie and the side of the wall to Alex and Charlie.
Charlie could feel the bass vibrating through the floor and under his feat. Colorful lights flashed everywhere. muffled Cheers and laughter flooded his ears under the music. He stayed close to Alex, even latching onto his arm.
"You doing alright?" Alex said looking over to him.
Charlie nodded. He looked around the gym, maybe he could find a distraction. He looked passed the crowd and blinding lights until he spotted the snack table. Those cookies looked good...
Alex chuckled. "I'm ganna go get us some punch". He said. Charlie looked up at him with pleading eyes. "Yes" Alex giggled "I'll get you a cookie too. Be right back". He ruffled Charlie's hair before making his way over to the snack table.
Charlie kept his back pressed up against the wall, trying to make himself invisable, as much as he could anyways. He looked down and moved his feet around to distract himself. Two minutes passed of staring down at his shoes passed, Alex didn't come back. Another minute passed, he still wasn't back.
The room was getting louder. Smaller. Hostile.
He looked up, desperatly looking for Alex. He found him standing by the snack table, cookie and a punch cup in hand. He started to feel releived.
Then he saw Katie standing next to him, her hands twidling around like she didn't know what to do with them. She looked behind her at a group of girls who were giving her thumbs up. She turned back to Alex and started a conversation. Charlie waited eagerliy for him to come back, wishing they would stop talking already. He realised how selfish he sounded. "Why do I have to be so clingy?" He thought to himself.
They sopped talking, but Alex didn't walk away. He looked stunned and confused, as if trying to process something.
Then it happened. Katie grabbed Alex by the shoulders, and they kissed. And Alex didn't pull away.
People around them cheered, but it was blocked out for Charlie. He stared at them wide eyes, filled with tears.
The world has stopped and was spinning all at the same time. His heart felt so heavy he could barely breath.
He couldn't think of anything else to do but run. He ran staright for the nearest exit.
As soon as he was outside, alone, He bursted out into sobs.
"Why?!" He thought to himself. "Why? Why? Why?!" His sobs grew louder. He dropped to his knees on the cold pavement and grabbed onto his hair. "How could I have been so stupid?!" He mentally screamed. He tugged at his hair a little. "Of course he wouldn't like me...Of course he was going to leave me for her..."
Suddenly, he heard the door open and footseps running over to him. Before he could turn around to see who it was, a pair of arms wrapped around him in a tight hug from behind.
"Charlie!" Alex's voice spoke. "Thank god you're okay!" Charlie started to tear up again.
He was not okay.
He pushed Alex's arms away.
"Charlie?" Alex spoke in a hurt tone. Charlie only sniffled in response. "Charlie please...That wasn't...I didn't..." He hesitated.
Charlie didn't want to hear it. He shook his head as tears streamed down his cheecks.
"How could you do this?"
"Charlie, that kiss didn't mean anything I swear. She kissed me." He said. "And I explained to her that it wasn't going to work about between me and her because..." He paused for a moment. "Because I love you, Charlie..."
"Lies" A voice whispered to Charlie.
"Do you really think he's telling the truth?" It said a bit more harshly.
Another voice spoke to him, this one sounding an awful like his Father's.
"Nobody could ever love you"
"Charlie?..." Alex spoke, hoping he had reached through to Charlie.
"I wanna go home" Charlie said in a heavy voice. "I...I need some space".
*******
A/N: Next update will be up very shortly!