After the 'bomb' had been dropped, the rest of the ride home was quiet. Eddies entire mood had shifted. He didn't crack jokes or even speak for that matter. There was no radio, no tapping on the steering wheel, no humming..
The noise was deafening and even though Piper felt better now that he knew, she couldn't help but feel guilty as she watched him stare ahead at the road.
He was trying his hardest to focus on driving, maybe on the yellow reflectors zooming under the car, the way the steering wheel felt under his hand, the heat on his face.. But nothing was working and all he could do was think back to before he left where he searched for any warning signs he should've noticed.. After all, he should know the signs, he's been in Pops exact worn out leather shoes more times than he cared to count.. But he couldn't find any. Pops seemed happier than he had in awhile, ecstatic that the boys were getting the attention they deserved.. But now that Eddie knew what was really going on, he felt selfish.. Sick to his stomach that he didn't realize.
It didn't take too much effort to figure out that he saw Pops as a father figure. After moving away from the rest of his family, especially after leaving behind that abusive fuck of a step dad, finding the older man was a much needed breath of fresh air. It was like connecting with something he had been missing out on his entire life.. And their introduction was just pure luck.
Through the various people he had met within the first few days in town, Eddie had heard mention of this record store that apparently had the best of the best. Bootlegs, out of print, hard to find type of shit. He was skeptical but was itching to dive into all things music and spent the better half of one afternoon walking around the city, leading him to the market as he tried to find this elusive store but the only thing that looked remotely interesting was a small, dusty bookstore.
Eddie took a chance and walked inside, only to ask for directions or if this record store even existed, and came out with a new lifelong friend and a replacement for the Otis Redding vinyl that broke during his move. After that moment, Pops became probably the closest thing he's had to a 'father' in a long time.
Just like the chance encounter with Piper, it was fate, destiny, the universe, whatever you wanted to fucking call it, that had brought them together.. So it's easy to see why being kept in the dark stung, but what hurt the most was the thought of losing yet another important figure in his life..
It was almost unimaginable.
-
What should've been a simple 40 minute drive turned into what felt like an eternity but finally, they were parked out in front of Pipers townhouse, the car idling quietly and all she wanted was to break the silence but what was there to say? Before she could find the correct words, Eddie switched the engine off, furthering the quiet, and held out the keys for her to take.
"Go ahead in and get yourself situated.."
"You're not coming in? What're you gonna do out here?" Piper hesitantly grabbed the keys and cradled them into her hands, wishing instead that it were his hand and he were coming in with her.
Eddie sighed and slouched farther down in his seat, almost as if he were shrinking himself away. "I am.. I just.. You remember that solitude we talked about?" He smiled up weakly, causing her heart to ache. Every sigh and grimace he made, it made her feel worse and worse. It was bad enough her mind was clouded but now, so was his.. If not even more than it already were thanks to the previous night.
Piper reached across the car and thumbed his cheek, causing him to lean into her touch ever so slightly before he kissed her palm twice.
"I'll be up in a few minutes, okay? Don't worry. And I'll grab your bags too.." He kept kissing her palm, like he were reassuring her but it wasn't helping to get her out of the car any faster. Not only because his kisses were nice.. But because she didn't want to be alone. She didn't want him to be alone either but if that's how he deals with things, how could she blame him?
That wouldn't stop her from worrying, of course.. She'd just have to find something to do to take her mind off things until he came inside.
Piper nodded and reluctantly did as he asked, kissing him on the cheek softly before sliding out and starting inside. She wanted to give him the privacy he asked for but she couldn't help but sneak a glance over her shoulder as she headed towards the front door. The tears must've let themself loose as soon as she had gotten out of the car because Eddie was wiping at his face and grabbed for another smoke, except this time he lit the end and drew on it like it were the only thing keeping him together.
Despite the somber mood, there was still a part of Piper that was excited to see and be in her own space again. It felt so normal, so natural to be back in Seattle right where both of them belonged.. But what had should've been a nice moment was being tainted by the nagging guilt screaming in the back of her head..
After taking an unintentionally long shower, one where she scrubbed and scrubbed at her skin, hoping to rid anything left of him, Piper came out to find her bags put away and Eddie laid in her bed. To anyone else, it might've looked like he were asleep, but she knew that his mind was racing a mile a minute. The sight alone was pitiful enough.. With his arm draped across his face, covering his eyes, his usual smiling cheeks flushed and the front of his shirt riddled with tear marks..
She had to do something.
Quietly, she walked to the bed, to his side, and laid a hand gently on his stomach, trying to get his attention without startling him this time.
"Eddie... I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have brought any of that up. I just assumed that you knew cause you've known him longer than I have. "
A few moments passed before Eddie finally looked up. The glossy, redness in his eyes was unmistakable as he joined his hand in hers on his stomach and squeezed. "No, it's okay. Don't apologize." He scooted over and, in the process, pulled her down to lay with him, wrapping his arm around her shoulder as she snuggled up to his chest. He began to fidget with the ends of her hair, the wet pieces scattered across the bed behind her. She probably could've dried off better but between spending too long in the shower and knowing that he was out here alone and upset.. Time had to be cut somewhere.
"I can't be too upset that he didn't tell me. It's in the past and it's a.. uhm.. a difficult subject, one that hits pretty close. It's easier to talk to someone you don't really know. Helps get an unbiased answer yknow, it takes away some of the judgement.. Maybe that's why he opened up to you.. But whatever the case.. If anyone should apologize, it should be me. I completely dropped the ball."
"But you shouldn't blame yourself.. You didn't know, you weren't here. I didn't even know and I was with him almost every day. It just means he's good at hiding it."
"No but phones exist, I could've called more, wrote to him or something.. I've just been so caught up in my own shit.. Whenever I called, all we talked about was the tour. He sounded fine, like regular ol' Pops.. But obviously, we missed something." Eddie sighed softly and continued to toy with her hair, wrapping a few strands around his fingers. His jaw clenched as he laid staring at the ceiling, like there was something more he wanted to say but was fighting back the idea. Whatever battle was going on in his head must've quickly ended because he sighed again and began torturing the patch of hair under his bottom lip..
"I also kind of figured that uhm.. After he found out what I did.. He wouldn't want anything to do with me. I expected him to stop taking my calls at some point.. I still can't believe you're giving me another chance. I'm constantly pinching myself, wondering if I'm gonna wake up alone again"
Piper sat up on one elbow and really looked at him, his blue eyes staring back and it was as if she could see right into his soul. He was never one to shy away from his feelings but she had never seen him so vulnerable, so exposed. It was almost childlike.
She leaned over and placed a small kiss to his jaw, moving his hand away from his face but replaced it with hers where she trailed it down to his cheek and rubbed softly.
"He doesn't know what happened.."
The ever present crease between his brows came to light as Eddie stared back at her in what seemed to be confusion or shock, even..
Shock that was well earned seeing how she, too, was surprised. How she managed to keep everything under wraps from Pops, she had no idea. Especially with Chatty Cathy Chris being there. There was several times she had to drag him into the back room to keep him quiet or cough to cover his slip up.. It wouldn't be surprising if the entirety of Seattle knew at this point.. Hell, even all of Washington. Maybe even the whole West Coast.
Even after all that, Pops was still naive to everything. He would ask her every so often how her and Eddies relationship was going, which was like rubbing salt into an open wound. His questioning was innocent seeing as he didn't know any better and despite how much it killed her, she had to lie to keep it that way.
"Whatdaya mean? How does he not know?"
"I didn't tell him that part."
"You didn't tell him that I cheated on you?? ..Why?" Eddie, and his incredulous sounding voice, raised up this time, matching her stance and was now even more confused. Why would she hide it? She's so busy protecting everyone else that she forgets about herself..
Eddie could feel himself starting to become a little angry, in part because it made him think of Dave. How she refuses to tell anyone what he did. The sick fuck didn't deserve to be protected and if Eddie had it his way, he'd rent every billboard in town and make it known.. or just beat the brakes off of him again..
But mostly, he was angry at himself.. For not being able to protect Piper.. For not seeing the signs in Pops.. For cheating and forcing her to lie.. Those things were just piled on top of the other stupid shit he's done in his life. Most of which he didn't regret, but there were a few sprinkled in that took the cake. Like breaking his hand on a brick wall for one, or paddling too far out into the ocean after Piper ended everything or maybe even dangling off insanely tall rafters for instance..
Not to mention, also adding insult to injury by forcing his new band mates to watch him dangle from said rafters after already losing a previous singer..
let's be honest, he's done a lot of stupid shit..
But cheating topped it all.
Piper shrugged a little and turned her attention back to his stomach, gently poking at some of the nearly dried marks on his shirt. "I don't want him to see you any differently cause I don't see you any differently. You made a mistake. You're still the same sweet Eddie who got me cake when it wasn't my birthday.."
Eddie scoffed and fell back dramatically onto the bed, a deep sigh escaping as he looked anywhere else that wasn't her. "Yeah, you mean the same sweet Eddie who lied to get you that cake? That shoulda been a warning sign.. What about the Eddie who basically ignored you for six months? Is that the same one who sent his coat like a douchebag instead of having the balls to come see you when we were back in town??"
"Hey, stop it.." Piper grabbed ahold of his jaw and turned his head, forcing him to look straight at her. Her piercing blue eyes were stern, that nose crinkled up... Despite her best effort though, she would've had a better chance of being taken seriously if he didn't find her so fucking cute.
"It worked, didn't it? And unlike what I had originally thought, you didn't ignore me, you did exactly what I asked.. Even though it killed you.. That's what Chris said, he told me all about it."
"No, I shouldn't have listened.. Chris told me all about it too, about you. How you worked all the time, how you'd space out or excuse yourself to the back room and come back with bloodshot eyes.. Yknow, you shoulda never had the chance to go on those other dates. I shoulda came back as soon as I could and begged on my knees in front of Pops and Chris and whoever else, screamed at the top of my lungs to everyone what I did and if you woulda told me to leave, then I woulda listened.. But if you woulda given me a chance, then..."
He stopped mid sentence and shook his head, his eyes blinking quickly a couple of times as he raised his eyebrows..
"Then I woulda became a religious man cause obviously, there's some kind of higher power at play here..."
A small smirk spread across his face despite his seriousness and Piper couldn't help but laugh at his ramblings.
Her laugh made him laugh and he loved to hear it, having not heard it in a while.. And it was hilarious, the mere thought that he could step into a church and not burst into flames. Although that luck was running out cause whoever's looking out for him upstairs was probably getting fed up at this point. If that was the case, he'd just have to stock up on a shit load of aloe and hope for the best cause there's a lot of god and goddess ass to be kissing apparently.
Piper smacked his cheek playfully and laid back down, rolling over and pulling his arm around her waist. Eddie rolled with her and wrapped her up tight, snuggling into the crook of her neck and sighed contently as she tangled her feet into his. She could tell by the tone of his voice he was starting to get sleepy, his words were slower, softer and rattling in his throat.
Guess a good cry would do that to anyone.
"Well then.. I guess you're gonna have to start goin' to church.. Better find a fireproof tux."
Never know, maybe he'll see Chris there too.. Maybe on one of the crosses..
"Mm.. Not just any church though. One that I make up.."
"..And why's that?"
"Cause I'm not lookin' to worship a god.. Just you. Only you for the rest of my life." He squeezed her left hand and whispered right by her ear. Even though they were just joking around, the way he spoke those words seemed as if they were hinting towards something else.. Something else that involved two rings.
Realistically, it was probably just reassurance that he could still be faithful since that was the hot topic.. But that little voice in the back of her head hoped otherwise..
Of course, they still had a ways to go with him earning her trust again. That came before anything..
Maybe it was naive of her, maybe she was dumb for being back with him. For even giving him another chance to begin with.. Only time would tell, really.
But few months ago?
She would've laughed square in his face. Probably punched him in it too if he made the grand gesture of professing his fuckups in front of everyone. Society, for some god awful unknown reason, views those types of things as romantic. That women dream of having someone beg for their love, of being swept off their feet, dipped and then kissed while everyone around them applauds..
Really, she'd rather step on a rusty nail than have that happen.
"Hush.. Go to sleep. You're exhausted." Piper smacked him on the arm and felt him smile against her neck. She didn't even need to look, she could just imagine those cheekbones sitting high on his face, those soft blue eyes crinkling at the corners. He definitely was fighting sleep, seeing how he was practically talking out of his head now.
"I am exhausted but I meant what I said six months ago, Pipes. That I wanna grow old and grey with you.. Have lots of babies... I just wanna be in love with you forever if you'll let me."
Hearing those words again made her chest ache, for a total different reason this time. Before it was just a reminder of what they'd miss out on.. But now, it was something they could look forward to.. Together.
"Of course, I'll let you.."
Eddie kissed the back of her head softly and hugged her tighter, his sweet words and the warmth against her back soothing and relaxing her, which was the polar opposite of how she had been feeling the past 24 hours. But that was done and over.. She didn't even want to think about what happened, it was bad enough to be reminded of it every time she fell asleep or when she saw Eddies still blackened eye and busted hand.. Piper closed her eyes and let the thoughts drift away. Can't risk having them ruin another moment, not when she was bound and determined to move on and forget it.
What she was thinking about though was that one word that stuck out amongst the rest..
Forever.
It seemed like a nice thought in theory but hearing actual plans for the future was scary.
It made it real.
It brought forth things she hadn't thought of, things that she thought were long gone.. Like moving in together, maybe even buying a house at some point.. Where would they choose to live? Would they stay in Seattle? What neighborhood? What kinda house would they want? How big? Would all the guys want to live there like some sort of religious sect? She wouldn't be against it but really, it wouldn't work. Especially if they wanted a baby at some point..
And that was definitely uncharted territory.
A kid of their own.. or lots of them as he said..
He had never mentioned kids before, making Piper wonder what changed his mind. The thought of being responsible for such a innocent little thing was terrifying.. She barely knew how to take care of herself, let alone a helpless, solely reliant on them baby..
Eddies soft snores brought her out of her thoughts and back into reality. Although it was easy to feel overwhelmed if she thought of everything for too long, despite whatever happens, as long as he was by her side and snoring in her ear, they could get through it. They had all the time in the world to worry and plan for babies, if that's the route they took..
But for right now, she had to remind herself to live in this moment..
The one where they were back in her bedroom in Seattle, together, where both of them belonged..
"Yknow, maybe we could start uhm.. practicing for those babies later.. They say practice makes perfect." Eddie mumbled out and a shocked gasp rang out through her bedroom, followed by a loud smack and a deep, sleepy chuckle. Piper thought he had fallen asleep but apparently, there was something else on his mind.
"Well yknow what I say?"
"Hmm?"
"Go to sleep."
"You sure.."
"Close your eyes, loverboy."
"Mm.. Yes ma'am."
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Hello everyone !!!
also a quick hi to the new people following me, thank u so much! hope u guys are doing well, hope school is going okay so far and if not, i hope it gets better. school was always tough for me so i understand.
ANYWAY!
we're well over 8k now which is completely outrageous to me, u guys are insane. i was gonna make this into a longer chapter but split it cause really i wanted to get something out yknow so here it is, just some slight fluff i guess lmao a light fluffing for ur tuesday.
if there's any mistakes, ignore them lmao i can't be bothered to reread. i feel like i've read through this a million times already.
luv u guys, be kind to urselves.
♡