Ari
I walked into my house, laying all of my bags on the ground by the door, I closed and locked the door, I walking to the kitchen, grabbing a water bottle out of the refrigerator. I laid my bag on the counter, hearing my phone ring.
"Hello?" I answered running my hands over my face.
"Hey, I'm walking up." I hear.
Click. The line went dead.
"Great." I groaned. I heard the front door open so I walked into the living room, seeing my bestfriend taking her shoes off and smiling at me. "What can I do for you, ma'am?" I asked her smiling back.
Paislee. In the last two years, she has bought her own house about 10 minutes away from me. We lived together for a bit before, but her and Alexa moved out a while back. Paislee had met someone about two years ago, they had gotten serious pretty fast, and decided to get a place together. Her name is Danielle. She also came out as Bisexual around then, too. Of course she had nothing but support from her friends, especially me. Alexa moved into student housing, something about "Experiencing college to the fullest." Which had me and my parents worried, but I made her promise to have dinner with me at least once a week, and to call me every few days.
"Hmm, I don't know. You came back to town two days ago and I haven't heard a peep. No call back, no text back, and you haven't been active on any of your socials in almost a week." She said cutting me a look and walking past me and into my kitchen.
I squeezed my eyes shut as I followed behind her.
"You know when I'm with my family I'm not super active on my socials." I said back, ignoring her other comments. She whipped around leaning on my counter. "That was not the thing I cared about. You have been completely silent for days, what's going on? I'm kinda worried here." She mumbled the last part. I immediately started to feel bad when I saw her face, she looked like she was fixing to cry.
I walked to the counter standing across from her, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. I just needed to be alone for a while. It wasn't anything against you, I promise. I didn't think about how much I would worry you." I said, suddenly feeling awful.
"I called Alexa, she said you worried her too. And that you left Texas two days ago. You told her you were home," She looked over at me, her face wrinkling from worry. "I don't mean to get in your business, but you aren't acting like yourself, and we're worried. Where have you been?" She asked, looking kind of angry now. Shit, great.
I sunk down, resting my arms on the counter. "I'm okay. I told you I just needed to be alone for awhile." I really didn't feel like having this conversation right now. I turned around and walked away, going down hallway and into the living room.
I heard her walking back behind me, "I called Niall." She said. I stopped in my tracks and turned to face her. "He told me I needed to talk to you."
Niall. My Fiancé. Most recently, Ex Fiancé.
I had been in Texas visiting my parents for the last two weeks, with my sister, who was on summer break. But, prior to that I was here, in my shared house with Niall. We got a house together two years ago, after getting engaged October of 2019.
We were doing great, planning a somewhat small wedding set for this year, November of 2021. Then we suddenly weren't doing great. He started his second solo album, 'Heartbreak Weather', I shot a series for Netflix, then he started spending more time recording in London, while I was filming in Burbank. We started fighting more when we were together, over the stupidest stuff. It had gotten to where I dreaded being with him because of how much we'd argue. He noticed too, we planned to be at our house together two or so weeks ago. We decided then, we needed to take a break. I love him, and I know he loves me. But, we couldn't keep living like that, and he knew that.. I knew that.
Two Weeks Ago
"How did we get to this?" Niall asked, sitting across from me on the couch. We'd been going back and forth for over four hours. Talking, arguing, trying to figure out what was going on, and what we were thinking.
"We never see eachother. We barely talk. We haven't even talked about the fact that we're supposed to get married in a few months, and we avoid the subject like the plague." I said looking up at him.
He nodded, "Yeah, I know. I'm under so much pressure with this album, and everything going on. You've been filming, and it's almost like we don't have time for this relationship anymore. But, I don't want to lose you, Ari." He said, honestly.
Honesty. One of the best things about our relationship.
"And you won't. I still love you, I still wanna be with you, and I feel like that's how it's supposed to be," I looked down, playing with my fingers nervously, "Just I don't think it's where we need to be, right now." I finished as my eyes started to cloud over.
"You know I love you more than anything in this world.. right?" He asked me. I nodded, tears threatening to spill out.
"Of course. And I love you, so much." I said softly. I was afraid If i talked too loudly, I would start to sob uncontrollably.
I saw his eyes had turned red, and I knew he was fighting his own kind of emotions. "We can't keep doing this to each other. I think you know that." He said sniffling.
I definitely did. I stood up and walked over to him, standing in front of him. He grabbed my leg and rested his head on my hip, looking down. "I do." I spoke softly, resting my hand on his head.
He looked up at me, his eyes red, nodding slightly. He stood up, and hugged me, tightly. "Please stay in my life." I said softly.
"Always." He said back, kissing my head.
Now
I looked up at Paislee my heart pounding, "I have to tell you something."
She nodded, walking closer to me. "Anything."
I broke down crying, "The engagement is off, and uh, so is the relationship I guess." I stuttered, tears spilling out.
Paislee ran over and hugged me, "Oh my God babe, I'm so sorry.. I had no idea." She said, sighing. I could tell she had started to cry.
"There was no way you'd have known. I blocked everyone out, I needed to think, and be to myself for a while. I needed to do that, I'm trying my best to come to terms that I don't have him anymore. He isn't my almost husband anymore, and I still can't seem to come to terms with that. Even after crying, yelling, screaming the last two fucking weeks, I'm still not okay. When will I be okay again?! I feel so weak." I confessed, holding on to her as I looked at her.
She started crying, holding on to me. "I am so sorry. I wish I had the answers for you. I know you will get through this." She said softly, holding me. "You don't always have to be so strong though, Ari. You can have these emotions. You NEED to have these emotions to get to the end of this."
I nodded, realizing she was right. I was always expressing the Importance of Mental Health, and here I was experiencing these emotions, and trying to offset them, claiming weakness.
"You're right." I said, straightening up. Weirdly, that made me stop crying. "Okay, I have done enough crying the last two weeks to water an entire botanical garden. I have to stop talking about this right now." I said, drying my face, and smiling at Paislee. I was super happy to be with her, with us being so busy with work and personal lives, we've barely seen each other.
She nodded, looking at me warily, "Okay. Other then the obvious, how are you? How are you parents?" She asked, smiling brightly and grabbing my hand.
So we sat, talked, and cried some more.
Niall's POV
I walked out of the elevator and up to my door to the flat I have in London.
I sighed as I walked in, laying my keys down. Sitting on the couch I put my head in my hands. "Christ, will this ever get any easier?" I asked myself. Pulling my phone out, my lock screen catching my eye, a picture of Ari staring right at me. I stared at it for an embarrassing amount of time, before throwing my phone to the other end of the couch. Rubbing my head, I look up and see a picture frame on my coffee table, a picture of us the night we got engaged. I groaned and grabbed it, shoving it in the nearest drawer.
"I guess not." I grumbled walking into the bathroom to take a hot shower. I came to London for some album work, and I was sick of hotels. I told Ari I wanted her to stay in the house we got together. I couldn't bare living there anyways, at least not right now. Everything I do, think, or say reminds me of her. I'm starting to think this "break" is only hurting us. Or at least me..
AUTHORS NOTE
Hahaha, hi! I'm baaaack. I don't even know if anyone is even gonna read this, I took such a long ass break, I may have lost yall. But, i hope some of you are back, or find this book again. I'm editing previous chapters, I'm not changing names, or events, just grammar, and cleaning up some paragraphs.
Also.. please don't hate me. I'm drafting another chapter, but this book will be ending (finally) soon. It's time to put this to an end lol. But its okay, i'll be starting another book eventually, but no other projects will be started until this one is over. Don't worry, I'll do this book, and my characters justice.
k byeee, - brooke :)