Tris
We still don't know who's training with who this year. I don't know if I would rather train with Uriah or Tobias. I've never trained with Tobias before. Max is supposed to tell us at breakfast today.
I slip on some leggings and a flowy crop top. My hair is in its usual tight ponytail.
I sit down on the bench between Tobias and Uriah. "Did Max day anything yet?" I ask. They nod. "You're with me, " Tobias says and I nod. "I'm assuming transfers because there's two of us." he nods. "You're with him in more than one way now, " Shauna says, sitting down with a bunch of pancakes. Her plate rests on her large stomach.
She's about seven and a half months pregnant. Zeke is absolutely ecstatic. They both think it's going to be a boy, but almost everyone else thinks its a girl. I think boy along with them and Marlene. I'm gonna be an aunt soon!
"Haha, very funny, " Tobias says sarcastically. "Are you not?" Marlene questions, knowing that we're still together. "Put a cork in it, " I reply with a small laugh. "At least I get borns this year, " Uriah says, trying to rub it in our face. "Let's hope we don't have someone attempt murder this time, " I mumble. "Huh?" Zeke asks. I shake my head. "Nothing, " I mumble and Tobias looks my way, but says nothing.
Uriah, Tobias, and I all head to the net to wait for the initiates. Uriah pulls us down a deserted hall. "I need your help," he says, reaching into his back pocket. "The two of you need to make sure Mar is by the net when I jump." He pulls out a small, velvet box. An engagement ring. Tobias and I look at each other, smiling. We nod and he smiles.
"Thank you so much." We nod. This is gonna be awesome. "No problem, " I reply and we walk back off towards the net. He's giving the speech this year. At least he'll make sure it isn't boring as hell.
Tobias and I stand under the net, leaning against the wall. They shouldn't be here for another half hour. "Don't tell them about us, " I say, breaking the silence. He nods. "Then I'll do this now." He turns and presses his lips firmly against mine, pushing his body against mine.
He smiles against my lips and I do the same. I lightly push him back and he chuckles, leaning back against the wall next to me. "That might have to wait, " I say, a smirk growing on my face. "I can live with that." We like just teasing each other. Just because we aren't very intimate, doesn't mean we can't joke about it.
Mar, Zeke, and Shauna walk over to us and lean against the wall next to me. I wish Lynn didn't work at the fence. She doesn't have to work as much as she does, but she does it anyway because she loves it. I love my work too. We all do.
"I hope there's nobody like Eric this time, " Shauna complains. "Or a Peter." I spit his name like venom. He's not in the landscape anymore, but I still hate him. "He's lucky he ran off, " Tobias growls. "I don't know what you just said but it's probably threatening, " Marlene says. He nods. "If I ever see him again, I swear," he grumbles. They all hear him, but try to ignore it.
I hear Uriah start talking. "Uriah said he needed to talk to you and to have you wait below the net, " I tell Marlene. A nervous look crosses her face. "I'm sure it's nothing," Tobias says in an effort to calm her down. She nods nervously. The three of us walk close to the net.
"Who's first?" I hear Uriah call faintly. I don't hear anything else. Tobias looks over at me. "You think we'll have any abnegation?" He shrugs. "I don't think so." It's really rare. Haven't had one since him. I personally think they're scared of us.
There is a girly shriek as a blue blob bounces up and down on the net. I reach my hands out and large, soft hand grab them. His brown eyes meet mine and he winks. "Name, " I command. "What's yours?" He asks. "Fuck off. I'll pick your name if you don't say it," I reply. He grumbles something under his breath. "Carson," he answers.
When I go to help him out, I 'accidentally' let go and let him faceplant. Zeke winks at me. Of course, he does. Older brothers. I roll my eyes. "Bitch," he mutters under his breath. Tobias, without even thinking, kicks his stomach. He groans and Zeke bursts into laughter from against the wall. That's what he gets.
We end up with nine transfers:
Carson-Erudite
Lila-amity
Sam-amity
Allison-candor
Crystal-erudite
Mark- Erudite
Tristan-candor
Laura- amity
Bella-candor
Tobias sends glares at Carson the whole time we wait for Uriah to come down. Marlene still stands by the net, toying with her fingers. I almost feel bad for her. Nope.
Uriah jumps down and we all watch. "Is everything okay?" Marlene asks in a panicky voice. He shoots us a glance and we shrug. It's not our fault she's nervous. That's what we had to do to get her over there. He nods and reaches into his back pocket getting on one knee.
We can't hear everything they say, but Zeke and Shauna walk over to Tobias and I. "Ohhhh, " Shauna whispers and I laugh a bit. "You had something to do with this, didn't you?" Zeke asks. Tobias and I look at each other and shrug. "I'll take that as a yes." We all turn back to them.
Marlene covers her mouth with her hands as she nods. Uriah jumps up and hugs her, bringing their lips together. Zeke, Shauna, Tobias, and I all start clapping and hollering. They pull back and look at us, both blushing intensely.
"Thank you, " Marlene tells him quietly as they walk towards us. "Thank them too," Uriah replies, pointing to us. "You scared me, " she said, pushing Tobias and I. Neither of us budge. "We didn't try to scare you. All we said was that he wanted to talk to you," I argue. She just gives up.
"Transfers with Six and Four! Borns with me!" Uriah shouts. Our nine follow us to one side while the other follow Uriah.
"You guys are lucky. These two both got first in their initiation and have the least amount of fears. Her getting first with a dislocated shoulder, " Zeke brags. "Shut up. That doesn't matter, " I say, turning to him. "She's mine, " Carson mutters to his friend, Mark.
"Excuse me. Nobody owns me, especially you," I reply, walking towards him. "Oh, a feisty one." I see Tobias tense up behind me. "If you don't shut your mouth, your factionless, " I spit and push him back. "Hot too, " Mark whispers. "I recommend you don't treat your instructors like that. Especially her, " Tobias warns. I can see him trying to stay calm.
"Why would I? She got a boyfriend?" Tobias narrows his glare. "Actually she does and he would kill you if you even came near her, " Zeke answers before turning and walking off. They snort.
"I'm Six and this Four, your instructors, " I introduce and a candor, Allison, smirks. "Something funny, candor?" Tobias asks, stepping forward. "It's a nickname dumbass, " another candor says, Tristan, sounding like a smartass. "I like that one," Tobias whispers and I laugh. They look at us curiously, but we say nothing.
We walk in to the chasm and memories keep flooding back from that night. The night I almost died. The night Tobias saved me. "This is the chasm. It shows a fine line between bravery and idiocy. One daredevil jump and you're as good as dead, " Tobias says, glancing at me. I take a deep breath and close my eyes.
I can still feel the heavy hands groping my chest. "Take that hall all the way down and go through the doors. Its the cafeteria," Tobias says. I don't hear anything else. "Go!" He yells and they scurry off. My heart is pounding out of my chest.
I feel the hands over my mouth and nose, making it hard to breathe. It feels like the blindfold is still over my eyes. "You okay?" Tobias asks. I don't answer, just squeeze my eyes closed more tightly. "I'm so sorry," he says, grabbing my hand.
I feel bile rise in my throat and run down to the closest trashcan. Tobias' hands run down my back. "It's okay. You're fine." I hear footsteps. "Hey, shortie." I haven't heard that voice since the last initiation. He just had to walk up on me throwing up. "Leave her alone, " Tobias threatens and removes his hand from my back.
"So you really are with her. Why would you be with someone like that?" Peter spits and I throw up even more. Tobias doesn't answer. Maybe he doesn't know either. I don't know why he likes me. There are grunts and I lift my head, wiping my mouth with my bare arm.
Peter is on the ground with Tobias kicking him violently, a look of pure rage masking his usually calm features. I grab his arm and pull him back. Tears well in my eyes, but I quickly blink them away. "Let's just go." His face shows a quick look of pity before it disappears. That's what I love about him. He doesn't pity me. Ever.
His lip is split and his knuckles are bruised. He did that for me. Tobias beat Peter up for me. He comforted me when I was puking. I can't think of any reason for him to care about me.
We enter the cafeteria and sit down after getting food. All eyes shift to his knuckle and lip. "Where were you guys?" Zeke asks. Tobias shakes his head with anger. "What happened?" Marlene asks. I shake my head. "Nothing, " I croak quietly. "It is something. Tell us, " Uriah demands.
"You really find it 100% necessary to know I was having a damn panic attack where I was harassed and almost died." My voice cracks and I feel the tears come back. "I was vomiting into a fucking trashcan while Peter made fun of me." I stand up and start to leave. "Please take them to the dorm, " I spit angrily to Tobias. I'm not mad at him.
If you saw your sister shaken up and her boyfriend with a bloody lip and bruises, would you make them explain? I hope not. Is none of their business where we were. I feel like I'm being suffocated again. Like I can't breathe. My lungs hurt as I speed walk back to my apartment. No. Uriah will find me there. I don't want anyone to find me.
I'll go where they won't find me.
Tobias
Why would they bug her like that? It is evident she doesn't look okay. I want to the after her, but I know she'll push me away.
"Fuck, " I curse under my breath, gripping my knife. My bruised knuckles turn completely white. "What happened?" Sharma asks in a soft voice. I take a deep breath, trying not to explode at them. "I shouldn't have let her stop me, " I growl. She pulled me away from him.
"I could see her getting nervous when we passed the chasm where you know what happened, so I sent the initiates here. She threw up and Peter showed up. He was talking shit about why I would be with her and I started to beat the shit outta him, but she pulled me away." I feel even more anger deep into it blood, making it boil in my veins.
He is lucky she stopped me or he would be dead right now. "I'm gonna go find her, " Marlene says, standing up. "She won't be at her apartment or the training room. She won't want to be found, " I blurt out. I was just gonna let her look, but my body refused.
"Transfers with me!" I shout, standing up. The gang looks at me, confused about where she might be. I honestly just want to buy Tris some alone time. She is already self-conscious enough.
They follow as intake hem to the oh so familiar dorms. "This is where you'll be staying during your initiation. The training room at eight tomorrow, " I say and hear snickers. "Girls or boys?" An amity, Laura, asks. "Both, " I say before walking out to find Tris.
I call her, but it rings twice before going to voicemail. She declined me. She doesn't want to talk to me. Did I do something wrong? I just decide to leave a voicemail. "Where are you? You can't be alone right now. I love you so much. Please call me back." I sounded so desperate. I am desperate. I need her back.
I feel empty without her. She means more to me than anyone. The chasm. I run towards the put, weaving through the heavy crowds of a Saturday night.
I reach our spot and she isn't there. Where else would she be? Oh God no. She better not be where I think she is. Probably her strategy for me not getting to her. Damn her intelligence.
I jump into the train, looking for any sign of her. Nothing. I stand by the door, scanning my surroundings for her. Again, nothing. She's like my air. I feel like I can't breathe without her. Can't live without her.
I look up at the tall circle, cars dangling every ten feet from it. The small platform is still there and I see a lump on it. There she is. "Tris?!" I scream. No movement. "Tris?" I ask more softly as I begin my ascent up the ladder.
Don't look down, Tobias. This for Tris. You love her. She would do it for you.
I look up the whole time, focusing on how close she was to me. I haul myself onto the platform, breathing shakily and heavily. She jumps up, pulling a knife from her shoe. "It's me. Its Tobias, Tris, " I say, raising my hands innocently and standing up. She tucks it back in her shoe before sitting down again.
"How did you find me?" She asks emotionlessly. "I just guessed. I was really hoping you wouldn't be up here, " I reply, trying not to look down. "That was the point." She hesitates. "So you wouldn't find me." I was right! "Why wouldn't you answer me?" She shrugs. "I didn't want to talk to you."
I shouldn't have come. She didn't want me here anyway. I stand up, getting ready to go back down. "I'm sorry." I grab the ladder. "Stay." I see the glint of her shiny teeth in the white moonlight. I obey and sit next to her.
"This isn't gonna work, " she says after a while. What isn't gonna work? "You have expectations and need someone who isn't flat, ugly, and stupid." How could she say that about herself? I have to admit, she is small, but I don't give a flying fuck about that.
"Expectations? Do you think I'm just using you? For sex?" She shrugs, not giving me a direct answer. Tris does. The person I love thinks I'm using her. "Actually... I've never..." I trail off. I guess she didn't know I'm still a virgin. "Why else would you be with me? Wait, what?" She asks, realizing what I said. "I'm a virgin, " I reply shyly, feeling my cheeks turn pink. I miss seeing her blush even though she did earlier today.
"I'm sorry. I just-." "No, it's alright. I know I'm super hot and jacked, but that doesn't give you the right to assume, " I interrupt, trying to make her smile. It works. She even laughs. "You aren't wrong," she says with a sly smirk.
"I love you, for real. I'm not just using you. I've never cared about anyone as much as I care about you. I don't care if you feel differently, " I say, trying to comfort her. "I don't care if your fear is there forever and beyond. I don't care if I never come within a foot close to you. I love you no matter what." I see tears shining in the corners of her eyes.
I take a deep breath and swing my legs over like she does. "I love you." I grab both her hands in mine. She's silent but turns her head to face me. "I don't understand why you like me, " she says quietly. "I don't like you," I reply and a look of hurt flashes across her face. "I love you more than anything in this world." Even in the dark, I see her cheeks turn red.
"I love you because you're absolutely perfect. You're beautiful, brave, kind, smart, tough, selfless. You're the best thing that ever happened to me." She leans towards me and crashes her is against mine. My hands find her lower back and pull her closer to me.
Her hands hold the side of my face as she scoots closer to me. We move back on the platform so we don't fall. She kneels and continues to push her lips against mine, making me melt into her heavenly touch. Tris pulls back breathing heavily and rests her forehead on mine. "Wow, " she whispers through an exhale. "I love you too, " she says and presses her lips to mine again. In the luckiest guy in the world.