I brought down the sky for you but all you did was shrug
You gave my emptiness a name
And you ran away
Rise Against - Audience of One (Appeal To Reason)
*********
The applause was loud and beautiful.
His heart was racing and he was shaking.
He looked to his left again and saw Alec standing behind Maia. He gave him a two fingered salute and grinned.
"That was freakin' awesome!!" Maia squealed. "You looked so hot out there. And that song...oh wow!"
His ears were still ringing.
"I don't get the appeal..." Alec said, ruffling his hair. "But I have to admit, you looked good out there. Just get me stuff for Magnus; he made me promise."
"Talk to Bat." Simon grinned. He noticed Alec was staring at him curiously. "What?"
"You and Jace, huh?"
Simon paled and swallowed hard. "H-He told you?"
"Yep." Alec said, his expression neutral. "You two need to talk."
"I know, I know." Simon sighed. "When I get back home...I'm still buzzed."
Alec looked like he wanted to say something, but then he just nodded. "Again, great show."
"I know." Simon grinned.
*
Simon was humming as he made his way back to his hotel room. He wanted to take a shower and get rid of all the make-up Maia insisted he use before the show. Then he was going to join his friends downstairs for a celebratory drink.
"This is what you live for, isn't it?" Simon screamed when he heard the voice come from the other side of the bed.
"Jesus! Are you trying to kill me?" Simon snapped, clutching his chest.
Jace chuckled. "Sorry." He didn't sound sorry.
"You don't sound sorry." Simon grumbled. "What are you doing here? How did you know where to find me?"
"Alec." Jace said.
Of course.
"I take it you saw the show?" Simon said, taking off his jewelry and attempting to take of his shirt.
"You were great." Jace breathed. "I can't believe I hooked up with a Rockstar."
Simon sucked in a breath. "Jace..."
"We're going to talk." Jace said firmly. "So take a shower, I'll be here when you're done."
For some reason, that filled Simon with dread, but he nodded and walked into the bathroom, closing the door and leaning against it.
Jace was here.
He thought he had at least a few days to sort out his thoughts before talking to Jace about what had happened but he was here. Just on the other side of the door.
Alec.
Simon growled.
What was it with his friends and ambushing him?
***
Simon was amazing, as usual, if not more so.
Watching him in his element was like staring at...at...hell, he couldn't even say. Simon was just amazing. It was just so easy to forget he was mad at him.
Yeah, he was mad at Simon.
Simon had used him.
He growled under his breath and rubbed his temples. He glared at the closed bathroom. "What the hell, Lewis?"
He thought they were getting past whatever it was between them.
But then that night was a pleasant surprise. Then it was...
Jace shook his head.
He was going to speak his mind and let Simon do with it as he wanted. He was tired of dancing around Simon wondering if they were friends again.
But what if Simon didn't want him at all. They had pretty much ruined the whole 'just friends' shit with that stunt Simon pulled two nights ago.
It wasn't just Simon, was it?
He wanted to put all the blame on Simon. He had been minding his business at home and Simon came to him. Even though he had just gotten off some hours before Simon came over, it was still the most stimulating night of his life. He hadn't gotten so hot so quickly since...since...
Since the last time he and Simon...
"Fuck!" he muttered rubbing his face.
He sighed noisily.
"I-I'm sorry." He heard a quiet voice behind him. He turned to see Simon standing at the door of the bathroom in only a towel. He looked away quickly.
"Yeah." Jace said. Clearing his throat. "Wanna tell me what it was all about? Why did you...?"
"I-I shouldn't have done that." Simon said. "It was a mistake."
Jace felt his heart sink. There it is. A mistake.
"I wanted you. I-I missed you." Simon continued. "I was feeling really bad about breaking up with Leah; even though we were not really dating. You were there and I thought about how it felt to kiss you and-and, well, you know the rest..."
"Yeah." Jace said, turning to see Simon put on a tshirt over jeans. "So you used me?"
"No...I don't know." Simon sighed. "Look, I have spent the last four years trying to hate you. Or at least forget you. But you came back and you stirred all these things again. I don't know how to handle it. I don't know how to handle you being back in my life."
Jace stared at the boy he had loved for so long and sighed. He couldn't even manage to stay mad at him. It was his fault.
If he hadn't run away back then.
"Simon." Jace said. "I love you. I love you and I'm so so sorry for hurting you." He walked slowly till he was standing in front of Simon. The brunet was staring at him with his eyes wide. "I was a fucking stupid kid. I was scared and I ran. But I am back...I want you back. I'll do anything you want me to do. Just please..."
Simon swallowed hard, still staring.
"You-You promised that you'd always be there." Simon said in a tight voice. "You promised. And you left. You destroyed me. I thought I was going to die. You were my everything."
"Simon..." Jace started.
"I wouldn't be here if you didn't believe in me." Simon continued. "We were going to do this together. And-And..." Simon inhaled shakily. "I love you."
Jace blinked. He wanted to grin in relief but the look on Simon's face held him back. He looked...broken.
"I love you, Jace but I don't know...if..."
"Please..." Jace wasn't above groveling. "I'll do anything. Nothing has to change...please."
***
Simon was trembling.
Jace looked almost as tortured as he felt.
He was prepared to tell Jace that nothing was going to happen between them and try and salvage the whole mess.
But seeing Jace here, in his hotel, something held him back and he found himself telling Jace he loved him.
"I-I..." I can't. "I can't go through it again Jace. I can't trust you not to hurt me."
"So you'd hurt me instead?"
"Jace, that's not..." Simon stepped back from Jace, suddenly angry. "You don't get to ask me that? You left. You ran away f-from m-me. You left me alone."
"I'm sorry." Jace said, his hands up in a placating gesture. "You have no idea how sorry I am. It felt like-like I ripped my heart out. And the worst thing was, I didn't to myself." Jace swallowed; his eyes shiny. "I know it was my fault. I take the blame. But I want to fix it. Please let me..."
Simon stared at him, torn. "How-How am I sure you...?"
"I'd rather die than hurt you like that again." Jace said fiercely. "Simon, please...let me make it up to you."
Simon stared at him.
"Look, I'm not saying you should forget everything that happened. But you need to sort out this mess. 'Cos if you don't, it'll eat you up and you'll be bitter."
Maia had said that.
"I'm scared." Simon whispered. "I can't..."
"We'll take it slow." Jace said quickly. "I'm not saying we have to pick up where we left off. Just-Just give me a chance..."
Simon shook his head. This was too much...
He turned and sat down to put his boots. He needed a drink.
"I need a drink." Simon said. "You down?"
Jace sighed and nodded. "Yeah..."
Simon smiled. "Let's go..."
Jace seemed resigned and followed Simon out of the room. On their way to the elevator Simon reached for Jace's hand. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but...I-I know I still love you." He swallowed hard and looked at the blond. "Let's start from there, OK?"
Jace smiled and Simon blushed. It was a genuine smile. It reminded Simon of the time Jace had told him he wanted him
*
"What are you up to Wayland-Herondale?" Simon asked. "You look a lot more creepy than usual."
Jace just smiled at him. Not a smirk or a leer or one of his trademark sneers. It was a genuine smile. "You and I would be good together."
Simon gulped. "Wha-What?"
Jace leaned close to him and pressed a quick, hard kiss on his lips. "I'm gonna woo the hell out of you."
"What?" Simon spluttered. "Woo? What am I, some Victorian virgin? Who uses 'woo' anymore?"
Jace rolled his eyes and thre his arm around Simon's shoulder and ruffled his hair. "Just so you know..."
*
"I can live with that." Jace said.
On their way to join the others, Jace threw his arm around Simon's shoulders. "Just so you know...I'm gonna woo the hell out of you."
Simon laughed out loud. "I can't believe you used that line again."
"Just saying."