Lola
If I'm gone, Bastian will be safe.
The sinister thought slithers through my consciousness. If I die, then Bastian will be free. He can pretend that he doesn't know the truth about his father and wait to take over the pack until he's ready.
Bastian can't fight his father, not yet. Even though he and Alpha Ryker are training for just that reason, Bastian is only 18. Most alphas wait until they are in their mid to late twenties to take over a pack. Alpha Ryker is the exception, not the rule, and let's face it, most alphas can't stack up against Alpha Ryker Holden. The man is gigantic and built of stone.
"Do you like mint green, Loles?"
I smile at Mackenzie, "sure," I try to enthuse my voice with something other than flat depression, but who am I kidding? Mac always seems to know how I feel, no matter how good I am at acting.
"Maybe the blue?" she asks a little more desperately.
I shrug and nod, forcing my smile to stretch. It's uncomfortable. "I like the seafoam," I say.
She nibbles on her lips and glances down at the magazine filled with bridesmaid dresses. She and Alpha Ryker can't get married legally until she is 18, but she will be formally introduced to the pack as their Luna. I guess anything she wants to wear is fine, it's not like Alpha Ryker's pack has many traditions. She's mostly concerned with not looking too young.
"I guess that one was pretty, but a little too much with the sequins, right?" Mac nibbles on her lip.
"The red," I respond. Red will go beautifully with her blond hair and light eyes.
"I'm afraid that'll make me look like I'm trying too hard to be older, you know?"
I glance back down at my magazines and keep leafing through them. "What about a dark blue? Not navy," I hold up the picture.
"I like that," she murmurs.
"We can order it for you to try on. You'll need lots of formal dresses," I remind her. I tear out the page and place it next to me on Alpha' Ryker's couch. He has two now, brand-new, arranged so that you can sit on one and have a nice conversation with someone on the other.
We keep looking, both of us trying to distract ourselves from reality while our mates are a floor below us in the gym, beating the hell out of each other.
It's been a rough week, that's for sure. Brutal emotionally, but quiet. No Summons, for either Bastian or myself. Alpha has been out of town, but I know he's eager to destroy my mate bond. It's unnerving that he's been so quiet. My parents are gone again, too. I'm surprised they stayed for as long as they did.
I grab another magazine and let the one in my lap slide to the discard pile on the floor. "This one is risque," I show Mackenzie the red dress with strategic cut-outs.
"You should get that one," Mackenzie responds with an encouraging smile, "you have the coloring to pull it off."
I just turn the next page. My confession to Alpha Ryker has triggered memories that I really wish were allowed to lie. Like, when Alpha would command me to meet him at a hotel near packlands so that I could dress up in one of the former Luna's gowns. I would wear Bastian's dead mother's clothes while being paraded around to fancy restaurants and parties by Alpha. Then he would take me back to the hotel and fuck me.
It only happened a handful of times, all in the last six months. I think Alpha was testing the waters, wondering if he could get away with such a bold move. Maybe he was seeing if he would get caught with a too-young mistress.
I don't want a fancy dress.
The door to the outer office swings open, bringing the sharp tang of freshly-showered males and the slightest bit of blood.
I frown at Bastian's swollen nose. I wonder how many times Alpha Ryker punched him in the face today.
He comes closer, kissing me deeply despite that fact that I know it must hurt. I get the hint of Alpha Ryker and pull back, glancing at the black t-shirt Bastian is wearing. I think it's Alpha Ryker's shirt, it still smells of him.
"My shirt doesn't fit me anymore," Bastian says with a gleam of suppressed glee in his eyes.
I swallow.
"Bastian, come into the office and we'll talk," Alpha Ryker holds open the door to his adjoining conference room.
Bastian kisses me again before walking away.
I take a shaky breath and force myself to look down at the magazine trembling in my hands.
Clearing my throat, I ask Mackenzie, "how about this color green?"
She doesn't answer and I look up to see her examining me.
"It's OK," she says softly.
The tears I've been fighting off for the last few minutes escape to run down my cheeks. "No it's not. I'm sitting here pretending that I don't know you already have your announcement dress while Bastian and your mate make suicidal plans to attack Alpha Roland."
Mackenzie closes her magazine with a snap. She gazes at me sadly. "I don't trust males easily, Lola. You know why."
I nod. I do know why. Her brothers, who still deserve a kick in the balls, if you ask me, always bullied her. Her father, the formidable Beta of the Harbor pack, ignores his daughter. Her alpha Ordered her to reject her mate. She has been let down by the males in her life who are supposed to protect her.
"I guess we both have that problem," I say softly.
"We did," she says with emphasis. She points to the office door that Bastian and Alpha Ryker disappeared behind. "But they are here for us. Those males care. They love us. And they need this. Just like you need to relax your mind and think about the difference between seafoam and mint, they need to plot manly plans without us interfering."
I blink at her. She's really wise, my friend. "Mint is more green and seafoam has hints of blue," I say.
She smiles at me and picks up her magazine again. "There you go, Lola."
I follow her lead and pick up my own magazine. "They're going to tell us their manly plans, though, right?"
She snorts, "of course. Then they'll man-splain them to us."
---
Bastian
"I want to speak with you about my plans after... after my father is taken care of." I grit my teeth. My wolf is pacing, baring his canines in a snarl of pure violence at the mere thought of my father.
I've run out of time. Dad's been visiting another pack for the last few days, but he returns tomorrow. I know for a fact that he'll try to get to Lola. He's addicted to her.
Lola is scared shitless of this. It's too much, the breaking of the Alpha Orders, the revelation that she's an omega, and now the training that I'm going through with Ryker is overwhelming her.
I force my canines to recede. My wolf is breaking out of my skin more often than ever before. He's eager for blood. My father's lifeblood and then the sweet taste of our mate when we Mark her.
"Retract the fangs, Vamp." Ryker smirks at me.
I glower at him. It's not funny that I have so little control. It's natural to Mark your mate quickly. "How long did you wait to Mark Mackenzie?" I say a little too petulantly.
Ryker's face falls into a stone-cold hardness. "Your father made her try and reject me, did you know that?"
"The fuck?" I ask, astonished.
Ryker growls and slams his fist down on the windowsill next to him. The wood sill cracks and a piece falls to the carpet. Ryker ignores it. "Lola brought her to me. She's brave, your female. Your father underestimated her."
I swell with pride, then deflate. It's only recently occured to me how fucking awful it must be for Lola to be stuck with the son of her rapist. Shit.
I refuse to deny my parentage. I force myself to remember that Alpha Roland Louvel is my father, my own flesh and blood. The man who is destroying his pack, who violated my mate and nearly destroyed her, is my own father.
My wolf doesn't see his father anymore. He only sees a rival male. It's simpler when you're driven by instinct, I guess.
"My father is an asshole," I tell him.
He nods. "You can Challenge him, Bastian. You're ready."
I nod, slowly. That's not the issue. It's not as simple as killing my father. I am not just a wild wolf. I have to live in the human world, too, and my Lola needs protection that can't be found by my father's death.
"I have a plan for the pack, after... after my father is dead." I repeat my earlier statement.
"And?" Ryker prompts me.
I walk to stand next to Ryker at the office window. My fists rest above my head on the large wooden frame as I stare out at the street. I see nothing. My entire focus is on selling this idea to the male standing next to me. First, I need to explain my reasoning.
"My pack will never accept Lola as my Luna." I say quietly. It's not fair, but when is life fair? I will make this right for her, no matter what it takes. I won't send her to the guillotine of pack opinion.
"Tell them the truth. Let everyone know what an utter disgrace Alpha Roland is."
I smile bitterly. "I want to, Ryker. I want to waste him, watch him bleed and writhe in agony. I want all of the older Alphas who saw the signs, who maybe even knew he had taken a young lover to squirm with the truth." I pound my fists against window frame. It creaks.
"It would hurt her," I murmur. "My Lola would suffer the embarrassment, the humiliation of having every wound bled for gossip. I've read everything I can about this. They suggest that rape victims don't deal well with having everyone know they are a victim. It would be worse for Lola if it is known what my father did."
"You want to protect your mate," Ryker mutters. His voice has lowered just like mine. "I know little about victims and their recoveries, but, if you hide the truth you're right, Lola will never be accepted as Luna. The pack will shatter."
"I'll protect her. I failed to protect her, Ryker, too often I failed. That's why..."
I take a deep breath. This is it. The only solution that spares my mate any further pain. I turn to look Ryker in the eye. I want him, no, I need him to understand how dead serious I am right now.
"I propose joining our packs." I swallow and rush it out, "you'll be Alpha. I can be your First Beta. I'll fight for the position. Hell, I'll be anything if it means Lola is safe."
---
Ryker
Goddess.
I have no idea what to say. I owe Lola. Her strength and inner sense of justice saved my Mackenzie, saved me. I would do nearly anything to help Bastian and Lola be happy together. My wolf and I already feel a heavy responsibility for them. This, however, is insanity.
"Fuck, Bastian."
He grimaces at me. "I've thought this through, Alpha. All I ask is that you consider it. Lola wouldn't have to be a Luna. She and I could still care for my wolves, just not as Alphas."
"Fuck." I sink down to sit in my chair. Damnit, the Harbor pack is large. My own RueClaw is huge. Together we will be formidable, but it will also make leading all of those wolves next to impossible. I will need several Betas, more Deltas and Gammas, to even consider making it work. Such a large pack is almost unheard of. I am not a wolf king and have no desire to be one. Only they have so many wolves under just one Alpha.
Do I really want that many wolves as my responsibility? Teaching at Louvel Prep taught me all about how difficult it is to monitor that many different individuals. Granted, teenagers are dramatic, but still.
The other problem is Bastian. He is meant to be an alpha. Will his wolf be able to submit to me? If he can't, what then?
"Giving over your position, Bastian, your birthright-"
His derisive snort interrupts me. "My birthright? My birthright is shame, Ryker. My father's shame. My shame."
"It is not yours," I say it quietly. I may be lying. I have not really pondered that question, but I'm sure that Bastian has.
"No?" He smirks and turns back to the window. "How often did I let Lola be used? How often did I use her? We were friends forever, since we were pups. I knew she was reluctant to be with so many males, but I never looked beyond my own selfish needs. She was only fourteen, Ryker. Fourteen! And she never wanted power or position, she never used sex to get ahead. Now I know why, huh? She was forced. I may have been able to stop this years ago if I just paid attention to her."
The window frame cracks under his fingers. I'll have to have the whole damn thing replaced.
"My shame, Ryker, my legacy." It colors his voice, that shame, and I can't help but think that he is right. I have no 'Lolas' in my pack, no girls designated to be whores. The ones who sleep around do so willingly and privately. Rumors might abound, true, about one girl or another, but nothing that would make a mate reject her. Lola has been ruined by Roland in more ways than one, and Bastian had played his part in her destruction.
"Let me talk to Mackenzie, first." I finally say, my voice hoarse.
"All right." Bastian's voice is raw, too.
Everything has become beautifully complicated.