CHAPTER 41
"YOU KNOW THE RULE, BLAKEY," sabi ng ina ni Blake habang sinusuklay ang buhok ni Lucky. "Out. Dapat hindi kayo magkita bago ang kasal n'yo bukas. It's bad luck."
Kanina pa nito pinapaalis si Blake na matigas ang ulo at ayaw makinig.
Nalukot ang mukha ng kasintahan. "Come on, Mom, you actually don't believe that crap—"
"Out," may diing sabi ng ginang. "And take Blaze and Bailey with you."
Agad na umangal si Blaze. "Mom—"
Mommy glared at Blaze. "Hindi ko pa nakakalimutan na inutusan mo si Blake na magsinungaling sa 'kin."
Agad na tumikom ang bibig ni Blaze.
"Pati ako? Kasama?" tanong ni Bailey na inaayos ang pagkakasuot ng bull cap na bigay rito ni Blaze. "Ayokong sumama sa kanila."
"Now, now, buddy." Blaze tsked. "You're a man. Dapat sa bachelor's party ka, hindi sa bachelorette."
Bailey pouted. "I'm not a man, I'm still a boy!"
"Same difference, kiddo." Blaze grunted before scooping Bailey into his arms. "Now off we go before Mom kick our asses."
But Blake didn't move a muscle. He was just staring at her, stubbornly.
"This is a girl's night," sabi ng ina ng kambal. "Since Lucky's grandma can't make it because of her arthritis, it's just me and Lucky. So, go. Have fun before your wedding tomorrow."
Lalong sumama ang mukha ni Blake na tumingin sa kanya. "You're not agreeing to this, are you? I mean, hindi mo ako mami-miss?"
Napangiti si Lucky, saka nagkibit-balikat. "Mom said it's bad luck. Can't take any chances."
Bumuga ng marahas na hininga si Blake. "You're ganging up on me again. You're always siding Mom. I'm getting jealous here."
Napailing na lang si Lucky at nakagat ang pang-ibabang labi bago nagpaliwanag kay Blake. "Kasi 'di ba, bachelor's party mo ngayon? Dapat mag-enjoy ka bago ang kasal natin bukas. That's the tradition. So, go. I'll stay with Mom—"
"I don't need a bachelor's party," sabi ni Blake na halatang iritado at hindi payag sa sinabi niya. "What I want is to be with you! Tonight! Before our wedding. Gusto kitang makasama."
Umiling siya. "No. Have fun tonight with your friends. Please?"
"No!" Blake was so thickheaded. "What if someone tries to harm you or anything—"
"We're in a hotel, Blakey," sabi ng in ani Blake, saka malakas na bumuntong-hininga. "Walang mangyayaring masama sa amin. I swear. Tomorrow morning, I'll make sure to accompany Lucky to the church. Now, go."
Bumuga ng marahas na hininga si Blake. "May magagawa pa ba ako? You two are ganging up on me." Napapailing na lumapit ito sa kanya, saka masuyo siyang hinalikan sa mga labi. "Call if something happens—"
"How about if I miss you? Can I call?" Lucky asked softly, with this smile on her lips.
And his irritation just vanished. "Okay." Napangiti na rin siya. "Of course."
"Pussy whipped," Blaze murmured.
Blake looked at his mom. "Mom, Blaze just say bad words."
Tiningnan nang masama ni Mommy si Blaze. "Do you want me to whip your ass?"
"Nope, not really." Agad na tumalikod si Blaze habang karga si Bailey at lumabas ng hotel room.
Si Blake naman ay napipilitang humakbang paatras habang nakatitig sa kanya. "I love you. Remember that," sabi nito.
Nakangiting tumango si Lucky. "I know. I love you too, Blakey-baby."
Blake heaved a very deep sigh. "Aalis na ako. I'll miss you."
She smiled. "I'll miss you too."
Blake's face softened. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay, baby?"
Tumango siya. "See yah."
Nang makalabas si Blake ng hotel room, sabay silang napabuga ng hininga ng ina nito.
"Thank God he left already," sabi ng ginang. "Handa na akong hilahin siya palabas."
Natawa si Lucky. "Nag-aalala lang siguro siya kaya ayaw tayong iwan."
"I know." Mommy, then, started braiding her hair. "Look, Lucky. I want you to know that I'm happy for you and Blake." Masuyo nitong hinaplos ang buhok niya bago ipinagpatuloy ang ginagawa. "I'm happy that you made my son very happy. And I want to thank you for always understanding him even when he's difficult sometimes."
Mahina siyang natawa sa huli nitong sinabi. "Madali lang namang kausap si Blake. Mahilig lang siyang magpalambing."
Natawa na rin ito. "Napapansin ko nga na mahilig siyang magpalambing sa 'yo."
A smile stretched her lips. "Blake has always been like that since I met him. I mean, not always, but some time after we met, he's the sweetest."
"And he talks to you." May kaunting inggit sa boses ng ginang. "I mean, nagsasabi siya sa 'yo ng mga saloobin niya?"
Tumango siya habang umaayos ng upo. "He's open to me, well, after he lied to my face—"
"He lied to you?" parang hindi makapaniwalang tanong nito.
Tumango siya. "Pero nagtapat din naman siya agad sa 'kin. At maliban sa pagsisinungaling niya sa 'kin noon, wala na siyang ginawa na makakasama ng loob ko."
"What did he lie to you about?"
She took a deep breath. "About his intention and how we met. That it was all planned. Pinapabantayan pala ako sa kanya ni Count Knight Velasquez."
Naramdaman niyang natigilan sa pagtitirintas ng buhok niya ang ina ni Blake. "Alam mo ba kung bakit ka pinapabantayan?"
Napakunot siya. Oo nga pala. Hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin niya alam. "I don't know. I forgot to ask. Pero sa naaalala ko, hindi rin alam ni Blake kung bakit."
Tinapos nito ang pagtitirintas sa buhok niya, saka umupo sa tabi niya at pinaharap siya rito. "Lucky, trust me when I say that that organization, that count, they're bad news. Huwag na huwag mo siyang kakausapin. At kung kausapin ka man niya, huwag na huwag kang maniniwala sa kung ano man ang sasabihin niya sa 'yo."
That made her frown. "Like what?"
"Just don't believe anything he says, okay?" She cupped her face and smiled softly at her. "I want Blake to be happy and you are his happiness. Regardless of what happen in the past, you have to stay with him, okay? Whatever happened. Stay with him."
Tumango siya. "I will."
"Promise me," may diin nitong sabi.
Tumango siya uli. "Promise, Mommy."
"Good." Pinangigilan nito ang magkabilang pisngi niya, saka nginitian siya. "Thank you... for making my son happy."
"He makes me happy too," sabi niya na nakangiti.
"I know." Hinalikan siya nito sa noo, saka tinitigan at nginitian. "Anyway, ano'ng gusto mong gawin ngayong gabi? Should I order some champagne or something you like to eat?"
Bumaba ang tingin niya sa dibdib bago umiling. "I'm okay. I have a strict diet."
"Oo nga pala." Natampal ng ina ni Blake ang noo nito. "Nakalimutan ko. Sige, maliban sa mga binanggit ko, may gusto ka bang gawin?"
Nag-isip siya ng ilang minuto bago umiling. "Nothing really. Ayokong lumabas baka may mangyaring masama sa 'tin, kasal pa naman namin bukas ni Blakey. Maybe just talk?"
Natawa ang ginang. "Okay. Let's talk while I sip some wine."
Sinundan ng tingin ni Lucky ang ina ni Blake hanggang sa makapasok ito sa kusina ng hotel na tinutuluyan. Nang makabalik, may dala na itong bukas na wine at wine glass na may kalahating laman.
"So..." Umupo ito sa mahabang sofa, ilang pulgada ang layo sa kanya. "Ano'ng gusto mong pag-usapan?"
"Ahm, I'm curious, though I didn't mean to pry but..." Humugot siya ng malalim na hininga. "Wala na ba ang daddy nina Blake? Okay lang kung ayaw n'yo pong sagutin."
Mahinang natawa ang ginang. "Ano'ng ibig mong sabihin sa 'wala'? Wala as in patay na or wala as in nasa ibang lugar?"
She shrugged. "Both?"
Mommy smiled. "Well, naikuwento ko na kina Blaze at Blake kung bakit wala silang ama pero hindi ko pa sinabi sa kanila kung sino." Nagbaba ito ng tingin sa wine glass na hawak. "Sa tingin ko, nawalan na sila ng interes na malaman kung sino ang ama nila. They didn't even ask his name. But the truth is, their father is still alive. Isang pagkakamali sa parte ko na nabuntis ako pero hindi isang pagkakamali na ipinanganak ko sina Blake at Blaze. They are the love of my life. My joy and happiness. I'm glad that I keep them."
Napatango-tango siya habang nakatitig sa ginang. "It must be hard for you, Mom, to be a stranger to Blake and Blaze after what happened."
"It is," sabi nito na nanubig ang mga mata. "Noong galit pa sa 'kin si Blake, ang sakit-sakit. Parang may sumasakal sa puso ko pero wala akong magawa kasi karapatan niyang magalit sa 'kin. I deserve his anger. After what he'd been through, I deserve it."
"But he loves you," pagpapagaan niya sa loob nito.
"I know." Tinuyo nito ang gilid ng mata ang mga luha. "He's just clouded with anger. Kaya nga malaki ang pasasalamat ko sa 'yo kasi malaking bagay ang naitulong mo para tuluyan akong mapatawad at kausapin ng anak ko."
She smiled. "Maybe Blake just needed a push. He loves you, maybe that's why he was hurt. I mean, hindi ko alam ang bawat detalye ng mga nangyari sa kanila ni Blaze sa nakalipas na taon pero alam kong marami siyang isinakripisyo para kay Blaze."
Malungkot na ngumiti ang ginang. "And it breaks my heart," sabi nito, saka mapaklang tumawa. "It really does. Siguro kung wala ka sa buhay niya, kinamumuhian pa rin niya ang sarili niya at ako. That's why what happened eleven years ago doesn't mean a thing to me now. Matagal ko nang napatawad ang dahilan kung bakit nangyari ang lahat ng 'to."
Napakunot ang noo niya sa sinabi nito. "Napatawad mo na ang ama ko? How come?"
"I'm not talking about him." Mommy looked at her in the eyes. "I'm talking about that other person. Pero nakaraan na 'yon." Ipinilig nito ang ulo. "Napatawad ko na siya."
Napatango-tango siya habang nakatitig pa rin. "Paano mo nagawa 'yon? I mean, paano mo nagawang pakisamahan ang mga taong gumawa ng kasamaan sa 'yo?"
"It's just a matter of strong will and priorities." Mapait itong ngumiti. "Ang nasa isip ko palagi ay ang mga anak ko. Ginagawa ko 'yon para sa mga anak ko. They will always be my priority. They will always come first. As long as their life is good and they're happy, I can do anything for them to stay that way. Kaya kong isakripisyo ang lahat-lahat na mayroon ako, pati na ang mukha ko, para sa mga anak ko. Because that's what being a mother is all about for me. Caring and loving their children, putting their life above theirs. Sinasabi nga ng matatanda noon, ang anak, kayang tiisin ang ina niya, pero ang ina, hindi kayang tiisin ang anak niya."
Lucky's tears fell remembering her mother in the middle of their conversation.
"I wish my mom was like you." Agad niyang tinuyo ang luha sa pisngi. "'Yong kasabihan ng matatanda na kasasabi n'yo lang, hindi ko alam pero parang hindi iyon totoo base sa mga naranasan ko sa sarili kong ina. Maybe because I was a rape child. I remind her of the darkest moment of her life, maybe that's why she couldn't love me. But nonetheless, I love her." A tear fell from her eyes again. "I love her so much and all I wanted is for her to call me baby. Never, not even once, did she call me her baby. I'm always the monster and the abomination. I didn't know until recently. Nito ko lang nalaman na kaya pala hindi niya ako kayang mahalin dahil biktima siya ng panggagahasa at ako ang bunga n'on."
"Oh, Lucky..." Umusod ito palapit sa kanya para tuyuin ang luha sa pisngi niya. "I'm sure your mom loves you, in a way."
She smile sadly. "'Yon na lang ang iniisip ko. That's why I was pushing Blake to reconcile with you. Because he doesn't know how lucky he is that you're alive. Kasi kung katulad mo na buhay pala ang mommy ko, wala akong pakialam sa sakit na idinulot niya sa 'kin noong bata pa ako. I would accept her wholeheartedly, just so I can add someone to my family tree."
"Oh, my baby..." Niyakap siya ng ina ni Blake, saka hinagod ang likod niya. "Sshh... don't cry, don't cry, Lucky. I'm here. Hindi ko man mapantayan ang mommy mo, makakasiguro kang mamahalin kita na parang anak ko. You can count on that."
Napayakap siya rito habang mahinang humihikbi. "Thank you. That means a lot, Mom."
Hinagot uli nito ang likod niya bago pinakawalan siya sa pagkakayakap at tinuyo ang basa niyang pisngi. "Don't cry. Enough with our dramas. Let's talk other things that doesn't make us cry."
Natawa siya. "Okay." She took a deep breath. "I'm curious—"
"Always," natatawang sabi ng ina ni Blake.
Lucky chuckled. "I was just wondering... ahm, what do you look like before the surgery? I mean, sa 'yo ba nagmana ng kaguwapuhan sina Blake at Blaze?"
Natawa ito. "You flatter me, Lucky, but you tell me." Inabot nito ang bag na nasa center table at kinuha roon ang pitaka nito. And from the secret pocket of her wallet, she took out an old photo. "Heto." Iniabot nito sa kanya ang larawan. "That's me and my sons before the incident. Ibinigay sa 'kin ni Blaze noong nakabalik ako. Nasa wallet ko kasi ito noon bago ako nawala."
Tinanggap niya ang larawan, saka tiningnan 'yon. She was expecting herself to compliment Blake's mom for being pretty, but when she saw the picture, her head started spinning and it was like something was hammering her skull.
Napasinghap siya at nabitawan ang larawang hawak, saka mahigpit na sinapo ang ulo habang namimilipit sa sakit.
"Lucky? Lucky! Lucky!"
Lucky could hear panic in Mommy's voice but she couldn't pull herself together. She was lost and all she could see are the flashing moving pictures in her mind.
And it contained her and Blake's mom, in her father's mansion.
CECELIB | C.C.