She didn't see Devin again for several days. At first she thought he was just avoiding her, as Lucian did, but eventually she grew suspicious. When she broached the subject at last to Pan, thinking he'd done something he shouldn't have, he waved her off.
"Seems I wasn't the only one who wanted to have a chat with him." He remarked dryly. The two were sitting by her favourite meadow, taking turns believing up fantastical sights to decorate it. Sarah had made a magnificent opalescent oak tree, which Pan had morphed into a gleaming silver tower, and Sarah had in turn changed it to a fountain of what looked like pure moonlight. It was then that she'd found the courage to ask him.
She furrowed her brows at his unexpected response. "As it happens, it seems he's banished from the camp until he apologises." Her gaze turned sharp, and Pan held his hands up in defense. "Wasn't my doing," He promised. "I'd have just tossed him in the cages." His look turned thoughtful. "Or maybe thrown him to the mermaids. They do get cranky when there are no pirates around to eat." Her look now turned to horror, even as Pan changed her fountain to a gleaming crystalline structure woven through with knot-worked gems. Having seen their teeth up close and personal herself, she didn't want to imagine them tearing into flesh.
Pan rolled his eyes at her expression. "Don't look at me like that," He accused, "You're the one that almost burned him to a crisp. Anyway," He pressed on before Sarah could interrupt to argue, "It seems your friends were quite persuasive – I understand they promised to make things rather difficult for him if he didn't meet their demands." Sarah sat a moment, open-mouthed. The Lost Boys had done that...for her? Her heart beat faster, and Pan was annoyed to see the gratitude welling up in her eyes. He frowned.
"You didn't seem nearly so happy when I was the one trying to fight for your honour." Sarah shot him an annoyed look.
"You were acting possessive." She admonished. "Not protective." He opened his mouth to argue, then closed it again – he was, in fact, known for his possessiveness. "The Lost Boys just see me as one of them." She frowned. "Or maybe they're just worried he'll send you on a rampage." That was a decidedly less flattering option, and Pan rolled his eyes at the idea.
"They like you, Lost Girl." She smiled – he sounded annoyed. "Look, enough about Devin – it's your turn."
Buoyed by this confirmation of affection from the boys she was so fond of, Sarah closed her eyes. Pan's crystalline net was beautiful, and she would need something truly amazing to outshine it. In her mind she saw the ropes of jewels unfurling, twisting up and outwards as the petals of a flower, with the crystal coming in to fill the gaps. That wasn't enough. She pictured the crystals hollowing out, until instead of solid they stretched as spindly rods in the petal-like structures, and she saw golden strings interspersed between them. Vines grew out from the gemstone flower's base, plucking at the strings and striking the crystalline rods to create a soft and delicate music, like the kind she heard when her mind was just starting to drift into sleep.
As she heard the notes begin to play, she opened her eyes – and swayed backwards, her vision browning out. "Sarah!" Pan's voice sounded far away, and it took her a moment to realise he was gripping her arm. She blinked, hard, to clear the static from her vision. Pan came into focus, anxious concern evident on his face. She felt a little nauseous. "Sarah." She could hear his voice clearly again, at least. "What was that?" He covered his concern with a tone of annoyance.
Sarah took a deep breath, steadying herself against the ground. "I'm not sure," She said carefully. "I guess I Believed a bit too hard." Pan glanced from her to her creation, playing merrily away on its petals. "It's happened before, I'll be fine." His expression darkened.
"What do you mean, it's happened before?" Did he have to speak so loudly? Sarah winced.
"Not quite this bad, I think – but sometimes, it does make me woozy." She tried a chuckle. "Guess that will teach me not to try and beat you, huh?" His jaw tightened. She shouldn't be laughing about this. This shouldn't be happening – Believing never made him sick, no matter how big or small he went. Maybe she wasn't as strongly connected to the island as they thought. Or maybe...he stood abruptly. Sarah looked up at him, confused.
"Come on." He reached down a hand to pull her up, which she took with some perplexion. "Let's get you back to camp to rest. I think it's time I saw my Shadow again." Her face fell.
"Peter, you're overreacting." It was just a little dizziness. She didn't want anything to do with the shadow that had suggested she wouldn't belong on Neverland forever. "I'm feeling fine now, really. It's just a momentary thing!" Pan was not to be dissuaded.
"No more Believing until I get back." He ordered. "Or nothing big, at least." Irritation crossed her face.
"I've told you before, Peter, I don't take –"
"Then consider it a request," He interrupted smoothly, brushing his hand over her cheek. "For me." Her brows furrowed. Sarah Everett did not take orders – and Peter Pan did not make requests.
"Ok." She agreed at last. It wasn't as though she performed large acts of Belief all the time, so it wasn't that big of a deal. The only thing that worried her about it was the fact that Pan was worried – a rare occurrence from someone so often in control. Still, sitting in camp when she felt anxious would hardly do her good. "Peter," He brushed his thumb idly over her hand. "Bring me back to my willow instead?" Pan raised an eyebrow.
"Will it let me near it?" He hadn't forgiven the tree for barring him entrance the day he had found her again in the jungle. Sarah smiled – the boy king could certainly hold a grudge.
"I think if it feels me with you it will be fine." She stroked his cheek. Pan set his face in a way that told her he harboured his doubts – but nonetheless when they disappeared, they reappeared just outside her willow. She could sense it didn't quite trust him – but since its girl didn't seem to mind, it wouldn't keep him out just yet. "See?" She needled. "I told you." Pan rolled his eyes, but then blinked, looking at her with a seriousness that only made her worry even more.
"Remember what I said." Sarah raised her hands.
"No Believing." Pan nodded firmly, then vanished from before her. With an unsteady sigh, she climbed into the willow's homey branches. He said no Believing, she mused to herself. But if he's going to talk to his Shadow... He wasn't the only one who had a magical being to seek answers from.
She spoke softly, tentatively, not sure she'd get a response. "Neverland?" No answer yet. "Do you know why...I mean. Is Peter over- am I on the right track, with the Believing?" She felt a warm hum. She couldn't quite explain it, it wasn't even a presence so much as it was a feeling – or perhaps a particularly strong thought.
You've done so well, my Dreamer. Sarah's heart swelled as the familiar voice sounded in her mind. You've made so many beautiful things all over my forests, and meadows, and beaches. Your imagination has truly grown. "I'm glad you like them," Sarah whispered bashfully. I love them as I always have always loved your dreams. Sarah furrowed her brows as she felt a sadness weight the air around her. I wish I could spare you from what is to come.
Her heartbeat accelerated. What was to come? What did that mean, and why was Neverland so sad about what it would do to her? A dark thought filled her mind. Maybe the Shadow was right – maybe she didn't belong in Neverland forever after all.
"I'm not sure it even exists, honestly." The muffled sounds of conversation from outside her haven's branches grabbed her attention. The presence evaporated, leaving Sarah alone with her willow, her worries, and the muffled strains of Lost Boys' conversation. "I mean, the heart of the truest believer? It sounds made up."
"Shut up!" Another voice hissed. "What if someone hears you?" Her ears perked up. If there was one thing she couldn't resist, it was a secret.
"She's probably off with Pan right now anyway." The first voice grumbled. Was it Koya? She couldn't say for sure. If her interest wasn't piqued before, it definitely was now. Just what was it she wasn't supposed to hear? "Look, all I'm saying is that if it means getting pricks like that Devin kid, maybe searching for it isn't really worth it."
"I'm not trying to die of old age all at once here." She was pretty sure the other voice was Loto. Her heart began beating faster. Was this what Neverland had mentioned? Oh god. The thought was too horrible. If their ages caught up with them all at once, she'd be alone. She'd watch her friends die – watch Pan die, and then she'd be alone. Her hand moved mutely to her mouth. There was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind once more, as though she was on the tip of remembering something – but if what she was remembering was a horrible death for her friends, she didn't want to remember. Not unless she could do something about it.
There will be a price. Once again, words floated back to her like something from a dream. It felt like Neverland's words, but they had never said them to her, had they? I have always loved your dreams. Always. Always as in since she came to Neverland, or...before? Her head felt strangely spinny once again. But spinning or not, she slid down from the branches. The leaves of her willow quivered, sensing her distress. "I'll be fine," She told it gently, though she wasn't sure she believed herself. "I just have to find some answers." Stroking it lovingly to say goodbye, she closed her eyes and vanished, reappearing in the one place she thought might have the answers she sought: the waterfall.