YOONGI's POV:
Something is wrong.
I don't know what yet, but I just know that something is wrong.
I look at my phone and I just stare at it. No new messages.
Y/N usually texts me. We always text eachother in the morning saying good morning to eachother. Today I was the first to text her, but I got no reply.
Then when Y/N is having lunch at school she always sends me a text to remind me to eat. But again, I got nothing.
I sent her a few more texts, but I never got a reply and it's making me worry.
I try to tell myself that maybe she's busy and she has to study, but I just can't get away from the feeling in my gut that something is wrong.
"What's with the face hyung?" Jimin asks me as he whipes away the sweat from his forehead.
We're all in the practice room and we're having a brake.
"Y/N." I answer him and keep on staring at my phone.
"Are you talking about Y/N?" Hoseok joins in the conversation as he drinks some water.
"Truble in paradise?" Namjoon asks me and sits on the couch next to me.
Just when I was about to answer them the others join in the conversation and beat me to it.
"Paradise? Please don't tell me there's something wrong with Y/N and you again." Jin sighs and puts his hands on his face as he sits down on the chair.
"Again? What did you do this time hyung?" Jungkook asks me and sits on the floor.
*Why are they coming after me like that?*
"I didn't do anything." I tell him and just then Taehyung joins in.
"What are you all talking about?"
"Y/N." Jimin tells him.
"Y/N? What's wrong with Y/N?" Taehyung asks worriedly.
*At least someone cares.*
They all look at me for an answer. I just shrug my sholders.
"I don't know, she just hasn't send me a text the whole day." I tell them and they look at eachother.
"Didn't Y/N say that she has a test this week? Maybe she's busy studying." Jungkook tells me, but I sigh.
"Yeah maybe...but she would have still texted me...ugh, I don't know."
*Maybe I'm overreacting.*
"Now that you mentioned it, I also texted her today and she didn't reply." Taehyung then speaks up.
"What if her phone feel in to the toilet?" Hoseok says and we all look at him with a raised brow.
"What? It was just an idea." He defends himself.
"Don't worry Yoongi, I'm sure she's fine." Jin reassures me, but the feeling just doesn't go away.
"Yeah...maybe she just forgot to charge her phone." Jimin says and I nod. *Yeah...maybe.*
"Hey." Namjoon nudges me, making me look up at him. "She's a tough girl, she can take care of herself." He says and I nod.
Yeah she is but....I don't know...something just feels-...off.
"Come on let's go." The choreographer says as he enters the room. "Brake's over." He says and we all get up.
Taehyung comes up next to me and nudges my arm.
"Hey, try not to think about it I'm sure she's fine, I mean it's Y/N we're talking about after all." He tells me and I nod.
Yeah...maybe I am overreacting.
***
After the dance practice is over I immediately run over to my phone to see if Y/N has texted me anything, but again there is nothing.
"Hey Yoongi you coming?" Namjoon shouts after me, after I have spent about 5 minutes staring at my phone.
"Huh? Oh, um-...no I'm gonna go to Y/N place and check up on her." I tell him and he nods, before walking away.
I then grab my things and quickly dash out of the practice room. Since I can't borrow my managers car today, I have to take a cab to Y/N place.
For some reason the drive to her apartment building feels like it's taking forever. And the more we get closer to it, the more I feel my heart pounding in my chest.
Once we finally arrive I pay and thank the driver and then I just jump out of the car and in to the building.
I go to the elevator, but it's currently going up to the highest floor. I tap my foot against the floor and it feels like it's going to take forever to get up and then it has to come back down.
I decide that I don't have the time to wait for it so I just decide to use the stairs instead. She lives in the 8th floor and I just run up the stairs to get to it. To get to her.
Once I manage to get to her floor I go to her door where I stop to catch my breath. I then knock on the door and wait for her to open it.
I wait and wait and wait, but she doesn't open it. So I decide to knock again.
"Hey Y/N can you hear me? Are you in there?" I say through the door, but there is no response. I put my ear on the door to see if I can hear anything, but I hear nothing.
*Maybe she's sleeping.*
I type her password in to the door and open in. As I step in her apartment everything seems normal to me.
Yeah, she's probably in her room.
I start walking towards her room, but as I do so my heart start pounding in my chest, making me nervous to open it.
I shake my head and just decide on opening it...but once I do I gasp.
Everything and I mean EVERYTHING in her room is shattered in to pieces.
All of the photos that she had on her wall are torn apart in to small pieces. All the decorations, destroyed. Her desk and bed are fliped upside down and all of her stuff; books, papers, clothes and more just thrown or torn apart and are lying somewhere in her room. I also notice her phone lying one the floor shattered.
But that's not the main thing that catches my attention.
"Y/N?!" I gasp in shock as I see her lying down on a pile of broken glass.
She slowly looks up at me and gasps once she sees me. She then quickly buries her head back in to her kness. Even though I got to see her face for about a second it still broke my heart seeing her like that.
I waste no time as I quickly run over to her, completely forgetting about the room or how it looks like. The most important thing right now is Y/N.
"Y/N look at me." I tell her, but she just keeps her face buried in her knees.
"Go away." She says barely audible in a weak and broken voice that brakes my heart.
It hurts me. It hurts me seeing her like this.
I step next to her and hug her little figure sitting on the floor. It hurts me when she doesn't hug me back.
"Y/N what happened here?" I ask her, but she doesn't answer me she just stays quiet and acts like I'm not even there.
I then look down at her and feel my heart crack once I notice something.
Her hands. Covered in blood.
"Y/N." I say in shock as I carefully take her arms in to my hands to look at her hands.
They are covered in blood and pieces of glass are sticking out of it. As I notice the pieces of glasses in her hands, something clicks in my mind, but I don't want to believe it.
Did she do this? Did she destroy her room? But why? What exactly happened?
I had so many questions. But now was not the time for them. The most important thing here is Y/N and I need to take care of her. I don't even want to imagine, how much blood she has already lost.
I quickly pull out my phone and call the ambulance.
"Leave me." Her weak voice tells me. "I'm a monster." She says and I just hug her even tighter, not wanting to let go, because I feel like if I do she will shatter just like the pieces of glass on the floor.
"Sshh." I tell her as I hug her and brush my fingers through her hair. "You are not a monster." I tell her.
"And I am never leaving you."
We stay like that for a bit, until I feel her calm breathing against me, meaning she fell asleep.
I then pick her up in my arms and carry her bridal style out of the apartment. It hurts me, because I have to look at her hands the whole time. I was suppose to be here and protect her. I love her. She is the love of my life, my everything. And yet I failed protecting her.
"Please be okay." I whisper to her and kiss the top of her head.
As I walk out of the building I already see the ambulance rushing over towards us. As they park next to us, they quickly jump out of the vehicle and put Y/N on the stretcher.
"What happened here?" One of the man asks me.
"I don't know I just found her like that." I say and the man nods.
"And what are you to the girl?" He then asks.
"I'm her boyfriend." I tell him and he nods again.
He then gestures me to jump in to the ambulance with them.
The ride to the hospital feels like forever. And it also doesn't help that I have to look at Y/N like that without my heart braking.
As we get to the hospital they take Y/N to a room, but tell me to wait outside. I nod my head even though I know this is going to be hard.
And so I wait outside. I walk up and down the hallway, sit on the chair, tap my foot against the floor and feel like it's been forever even though it has just been 5 minutes.
I try to relax and think positively, but I can't. The image of Y/N hands covered in blood with pieces of glass sticking out of them pops back into my head and I feel like crying.
Did she want to hurt herself again? Did she fall back into depression?
All these thoughts mess up my mind and I feel like screaming.
I'm suppose to protect her. I'm suppose to make her happy.
Finally after about two hours a doctor stept out of the room and I didn't waste anymore time as I rushed over from my seat.
"Is she okay?!" I immediately asked her.
She jumped a bit, because she probably waasn't expecting me.
"Yes, don't worry she'll be alright. We had to get all of the pieces of glass out of her hand and she lost a lot of blood so we had to give her some. Also the cuts on her hands we're pretty big, so we also had to stich them up. She's just getting her hands bandaged right now, so don't worry she'll be fine." She tells me and smiles at me.
"Thank you miss..." I loked at her name tag. "Miss Che." I thanked her and she nodded and smiled.
"No problem, it's what I do...now go and see your girlfriend." She tells me with a smile and I nodded my head.
I quickly rushed into the room and saw Y/N sitting on a hospital bed, while two nurses were bandaging her hands.
She looked up at me once she heard the door open. Our eyes met for a split second before she averted her eyes away from me.
I looked at her bandages and gasped when I saw that they reached up to her elbow.
"Here all done." One of the nurses said to her and then they went out of the room, leaving us all alone.
"Y/N." I whispered and slowly started walking up to her.
But she didn't.
She acted like I wasn't there, like I didn't exist. She didn't even spare me a glance. She just got up from the bed with a blank face and started walking away from me.
"Y/N wait! Where are you going?" I asked after her, but she didn't stop.
So I went up to her from behind her and gave her a back hug, but she resisted.
"Let go of me Yoongi." She said and tried to get away from me.
But I wouldn't let go.
"No. I'm not letting go...I'm never letting go." I whispered to her in her ear.
She stoped trying to get away from my grasp and sighed.
"Yoongi let go of me. I need to go home and fix my-" I cut her off.
"No." I simply told her.
"No?"
"I said no. You aren't going away from me for a while. You can't take care of yourself right now....I can't let you go, because I need to take care of you." I tell her and she frees herself from my grip.
She turns around and looks at me then sighs. "Fine."
She tells me and walks out of the room with me behind her.
Why isn't she talking to me? What did I do? Did I do something wrong? And why does it hurt so damn much?
We get outside where I call the driver to take us to the dorms. The ride is silent and not once does she look at me. She just keeps her gaze out of the window, looking at the lighted up city.
As we arrive she gets out of the car without a word and walks ahead of me as I try catching up.
"Y/N can you please just look at me." I beg her.
But she ignores my begs. She just opens the door and walks inside without saying a word, braking my heart with her actions.
What did I do?
The guys are sitting in the living room on the couch and they all gasp in shock once they see Y/N's bandaged arms.
"Y/N what happened?" Jin asks her with concern in his voice, but she avoids him as well.
Taehyung gets up from the couch and walks over to her.
"I need to talk to you." Y/N tells him and he nods and they go in to his room, leaving me there standing confused.
I guess...at least she'll talk to someone about what happened.
I then flop down on the couch and let out a sigh. The guys turn to me and started asking me what happened, but I just stayed quiet, since I was to busy lost in my thoughts.
Please tell me what's wrong...I want to help you...
I love you.
YOUR POV:
"I said no. You aren't going away from me for a while. You can't take care of yourself right now....I can't let you go, because I need to take care of you."
I turned around and looked at him then sighed. "Fine."
I then walked out of the room with Yoongi behind me.
I feel ashamed. I feel ashamed taht Yoongi had to see that. He had to see what I'm capable of...he saw the real monster. He probably thinks now that I have fallen back into depression...I saw the look in his eyes when he saw my hands. He probably wants to send me to a therapist.
Maybe he's even scared of me now.
I know he has questions. I know the others have questions...but I don't know if I'm capable of answering them.
Tahyung snaps his wingers infront of my face snapping me back from my thoughts.
I look at him and he's looking at me with a sad face.
"What happened?" He asks me and I let out a long sigh.
"I snapped."
He looks at me for a while and then without saying anything he pulls me in to a hug.
I hug him back and I bury my face in to the crook of his neck as I hold back my tears. My hands don't hurt me. They didn't hurt even once...but my mind...and my heart...there is so much pain in them that I don't want to take it anymore.
I pull away from the hug and Tae looks in to my eyes.
"Past." I whisper out to him.
"What?" He looks at me confused, because he couldn't understand me.
"My past...I dreamt about it...every single thing that has happened to me in my life...I saw in at once...and every single emotion that I have ever felt, I felt all at once...and I couldn't take it anymore...so I snapped."
He listens to me carefully and then he thinks for a bit.
"Have you told Yoongi?" He asks me and I shake my head.
"Have you told Yoongi about your parents?" He asks and I shake my head once again.
He then thinks for a bit again, before looking in to my eyes.
"You should tell him. No-...you need to tell him." He says and I shake my head as fast as I can.
"I can't."
"Yes. You can." He tells me and grabs my shoulders.
"Y/N- the reason why this happened...why you snapped, is because you have been keeping this inside you, your whole life...and you can't take it anymore, it's destroying you and driving you insane. And I know it's hard for you to talk about it and that's why you have to tell Yoongi...because he is the only person you are capable of telling this."
This time I am the one who has to think.
Will I really be able to tell him this?
I look at Taehyung for a while and then my mouth acts, before my brain.
"Okay."
I hate my mouth.
YOONGI's POV:
After a bit the door to Taehyung's room opens and Y/N and Tae come out of it.
Immediately once I see Y/N I jump up to my feet from the couch. She walks up to me and I watch her take every step.
"Hey." She says once she gets to me.
"Hey." I say back, happy that she's finally talking to me.
She looks down to the floor embarrassed.
"Do you want to go for a walk...with me?" She asks me with a blush on her cheeks.
I nod my head. "Yeah of course."
I tell her and we both grab our coats and head outside.
She doesn't say a word as we're walking. And so I decide to not brake the silence either and just let her take us wherever she plans on taking us.
People aren't really outside right now since it's winter and it's also dark already, so I don't have to wear my mask.
After quite a while I finally figure out where she's taking me.
The Han river.
We go on to the bridge that is empty, because the road on that one is currently closed, because the road is frozen and slippery.
As we get to the middle of the bridge Y/N stops and leans on to the fance and watches the river.
The moon is shining bright and it makes Y/N shine as well, making her look even more beautiful than she already is, if that's even possible.
"You must be wondering why I brought you here." She says.
I come and stand next to her and nod my head.
"The reason is...because I'm about to tell you something that makes me feel sad, hurt and angry, that I thought the only place I would be able to tell you is somewhere I felt really happy and safe...and that's here, because I felt so happy when I was here with you...happier than I have ever been before."
She then turns around and looks right in to my eyes, making me feel intimidated, because I feel like she's staring right into my soul and seeing well...everything.
"You have asked me about my parents a few times already, but I always avoided the topic." She says.
Now that I think about it she has avoided the topic. But why?
"Yoongi...my mom is dead."
As those words leave her lips my jaw drops to the floor in shock.
"What?!"
"And my father is in prison for life." She says and I just stand there in shock.
As I was finally about to say something she cuts me off.
"Don't speak until I finish." She says and I gulp and then nod.
What? I'm not afraid of her...okay maybe I am a little bit...but have you seen her beat up people? I don't even want to imagine what she would do to me if I pissed her off.
She sighs and tries to explain further, but everytime she opens her mouth she closes it back up. I can see that she is struggling so I carefully take the tips of her fingers and hold them in my hands, trying to comfort her.
She looks back up in to my eyes and sighs again.
"Once I was five years old..."
She says and then stops. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and opens her eyes again.
"Once I was five years old...my father hit me for the first time." She says and I start to feel two things.
Sadnees and anger.
"He hit me for the first time and then he continued hitting me for a whole year...but he also started to hit my brother, but that was just usually at times when I wasn't enough...this happened everytime he got drunk...but the problem is...he was drunk every day...that's also the reason why I hate alcohol."
I gulped as she said that. Now I understand why she felt weird around us everytime we drank alcohol.
"My mom didn't find out until she saw a huge bruise on my back...and the same night my mom, brother and I ran away from my father...we lived happily until I was 8 when I found out that my mom had breast cancer, but still we tried to be happy...but I wasn't happy anymore once she died when I was 10 years old."
I can't take it anymore so I pull her into a hug and hug her tighter then ever before. She gets shocked when I do that all of a sudden, but she then also puts her hands around me lightly.
"Y/N. I'm sorry." I tell her and she pulls away to look at me.
"It's not your fault Yoongi." She says.
"I know...it just feels like I need to say it." I tell her.
And then she smiles.
For the first time that day she smiles at me.
But her smile dropps once she continues telling her story.
"But everything didn't stop there...after my mom died, my father came back and made the next three years of my life hell for me. He would beat me up all the time and he would even tell me things that I don't ever want to remember."
She looked away and sniffled a bit before turning back to me and continuing
"But thankfully that man finally went to jail. He got so drunk that he killed someone and was sentenced to 20 years of prison, but after my brother told the police everything that he did he was sent to life time in jail, meaning that I would never have to see that sick bastard again."
"Yoongi do you remember, when I told you that I use to be a very different person that I am now and that you wouldn't recognize me?"
I think back to the time she told me that and nod my head.
"Well I was...I beat up people, acted cold towards everyone, had manly F's in school and when I was 10 I joined underground fighting and did that for 6 years...it didn't stop until I finally completely fell into depression."
"I still remember the day when I looked at myself in the mirror and slid the razor up my skin like it was yesterday...everything that happened after that, I already told you."
She finishes her story and brings her hands up.
"The reason why this happened, is because I dreamt about all of this and felt every single emotion I have through out my entire life all at once and it just made me snap. I completely destroyed my room and also my hands because I punched in to a mirror."
I look in to her eyes and stare at her beautiful eyes for a while.
They have been through so much...seen so many thing and kept all of this inside of them for soo long hurting her all this time.
For soo long she has kept this inside her and never told anybody...and cannot even imagine how much that must have made her go insane inside, not being able to tell anyone about this.
I then quickly pulled her in to my embrace and hugged her as tight as possible, not wanting to ever let go.
She didn't shed one single tear as she told me this. She told me before that she crying to her means that she is weak, so she doesn't cry infront of other people...but it doesn't makes you weak, it makes you a human.
And I know that she probably wanted to cry soo many times right now, but she didn't.
"I'm sorry I kept all this from you. I just...I just couldn't..." I cut her off.
"Y/N you are the toughest person I have ever met. I can never ever imagine going through the thigs that you have been through...and for you being able to tell me all of that is really hard, and not many people would be able to handle it, but you did. You fucking did it Y/N."
She giggled at me in to my neck and then pulled away to look at me. "Yoongi it's not only because of that but because...I trust you." She told me.
To a lot of people that would make no sense, but to Y/N trust is everything. With everything that she has been through in life trusting people has been very difficult.
Everytime she tried she ended up backing away, because she was afraid and so she never trusted anyone exept her brother.
She then started opening op and trusting all of us in Bangtan, but complete and full trust she only had for her brother...well I guess until now.
She then leaned in and kissed my lips. Her sweet soft lips on mine.
"Thank you." I told her.
"Thank you for trusting me." I said and kissed her forehead.
"What do you plan on doing now?" I ask her.
She looked at me and smiled.
"I think it's time for the rest of the guys to find out the truth."
YOUR POV:
At the dorms I told the guys my story as Yoongi held my hand carefully in his. They were all shocked to find out the truth.
They felt angry and sad and angry again and then sad again. Basically it was just a ride full of emotions.
Huh...it's like they were on their period.
But the most important thing that day was that I copletely gave all my trust to Yoongi. I was finally able to trust someone fully besides my brother and it feels amazing.
I trust Yoongi with all my life, the same way he trusts me.
______________
A/N: Sooo...I'm sick...again...
But this time I'm like really sick and I just hope that I'll get better soon, because I feel like I'm dying.
But besides that I have something else to say.
I want every single girl/woman to take a little bit of time and go and watch Little Mix-es new MV Strip ft. Sharaya J.
And please do two things through out the video...WATCH AND LISTEN.
If you do not manage to hear all the words than after you watch the MV go and search up the lyrics, because I really want you to hear them.
If you are feeling insecure about yourself I hope this helps you love yourself just a tiny bit more.