"Fuck.. " Edward felt fresh, warm tears gathering in his eyes, as he tried to hold back the loud cries by roughly biting down on his bottom lip. He didn't know why it bothered him so much when he replayed the scene in his mind over and over again. He felt his heart beating rapidly, thinking about how the slightly shorter boy held him with such a gentle and protective touch. Would Zayn think of him like he had two heads if he ever read his thoughts? He also didn't know why he cared so much of what the golden eyes boy thought about him. It wasn't that big of a deal, was it? It didn't mean anything when he felt so empty, as he didn't see him for quite some time, did it? And even if it did, why would he feel like he needs and craves for him? He ignores the tug at the bottom at his heart when he remembers how Zayn teased him because of his flushed face.
But, he just couldn't understand. He couldn't understand what did he do to deserve this pain? To deserve to be alone in this chaotic world, where no one could care less about anyone else other than themselves. Edward was sick and tired of fighting. He was tired of thinking there would ever be a chance that someone would love him in a way he needed to be.
There was always a voice in his head, trying to convince him that he was pathetic. Worthless. Stupid. Ugly. A depressed little shit. Unlovable. They wanted to just reel him into that dark misery he was once in. It was slowly pulling him down. But now... it dragged him down there completely.
Taking in a sharp breath, he steadies himself, holding on onto the wall to support his limp and weak body. He was currently outside the school campus, and the gates were closed. No one was at sight or anywhere near the place and Edward could've just sobbed right then and there, but he'd feel to ashamed to do so.
He'd feel embarrassed even though no one was there, and maybe because he was used to being judged or stared at, and if only looks could kill, he would've been dead a long time ago.
Shaking his head, he sighs deeply, hearing nothing but silence while he started to walk down the cold streets as the night took over the day.
To Be Continued ...
Unedited