Two months later
Things have been going really well with Sid and I. I enjoy how much we have in common, and the time we spend together is always fun. I'm happier than I ever have been. That is, until this week.
The past few days, Sid has been acting weird. Like, hasn't really called or stopped over. When I've called him, he has been "busy" with "things".
Do we have to spend every waking moment together? No, absolutely not. I respect his career and that he has friends. I also know that I shouldn't be the only thing in his life. But, I don't appreciate being blown off, which leads us to today.
It's Valentine's Day of all days. I'm not much into the day really. I don't need to set aside a certain day of the year to show or tell someone I care about them.
Sid and I hadn't really talked a whole lot about it, but we wanted to hang out. He had told me we would hang out together tonight at my house, since Joey was gone to his girlfriend's house. Sid wanted to watch movies and I agreed to make dinner.
Sid told me he would come over at six. I had made lasagna, and at six thirty, he still hadn't shown up. I looked at Ruby, who I had put a red bow on her collar because she is fucking adorable and I can. Ruby came over and laid her head in my lap. I sat petting her, feeling hurt and sad.
I have no idea what is going on with him the last three days. Whenever I've asked him if he was ok, he gets snappy at me. Am I calling him tonight? Not a fucking chance.
By seven that night, I wrapped up the food and put it in the fridge. I didn't eat any of it because I'm so upset. I looked around my house and realized how quiet it is, and for the first time in four months, I'm alone. I've never felt so empty and alone as I do right now. The doorbell rang and I jumped. I went to answer it, seeing Corey standing there.
"Joey isn't here." I said quietly. Corey looked at me suspiciously.
"What's up? Where's Sid?" He asked. I moved out of the doorway and let him in.
"Fuck if I know." I said, walking to the kitchen. I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and opened it, chugging it quickly.
"Ok, enough of that." Corey said taking my beer. I sighed and sat at the table, watching him sit down across from me.
"You ok? You and Sid have a fight?" Corey asked.
"He was supposed to come over almost an hour and a half ago. I made dinner, he never showed." I shrugged.
"You're fucking kidding me, right?" Corey asked.
"No." I said, petting Ruby.
"He stood you up on Valentine's Day of all fucking days?" Corey asked in disbelief.
"It's the dumbest fucking day anyways." I told him.
"Look, I know we don't have a lot of heart to heart talks, and most days I am pretty sure you hate me." Corey grinned.
"But, I do know how to listen, and I am here if you want to talk." He said to me.
"I don't hate you Corey. I never have." I said.
"I may fall out of this chair." He grinned. I smiled at him.
"Sid has just blown me off the last few days, he's shitty to me when I've asked what's wrong. Now this. I can take a hint." I said, trying not to let my voice break.
"That doesn't sound like Sid. Either something is on his mind, or something has happened in his family or something like that. He wouldn't just act like that out of the blue." Corey said. I nodded.
"Guess I'll never know." I sighed. I took my beer back from him and started chugging it.
"Nope. That's my job, drinking myself to an oblivion. Not yours. You're too fucking smart for that." Corey said, taking the beer back.
"You are too, you know that? You're really fucking smart and you are way nicer than you let on." I said.
The look on his face is priceless. He hasn't blinked, and I have made him at a loss for words. There's a first.
"You fucking with me?" He grinned a little.
"Honestly?" I asked him. He nodded.
"I'm way too sad tonight to fuck with you." I said quietly.
"Holy shit." He whispered. I looked at him.
"You said, like, really nice things about me a few times tonight. You are sad." He whispered. I couldn't stop the laugh that slipped out. He laughed and smiled at me.
"Why don't you call him?" Corey asked.
"No fucking way. I'm not doing that." I told him, watching the smirk grow on his face.
"Too stubborn or too much pride?" Corey grinned.
"Too stubborn." I smiled.
"I figured." He laughed.
"So, what are you going to do? You have to talk to him at some point." Corey said.
"I'm just not sure when that will be." I said.
"Well, I'll give you a little insider tip here. Sid has like zero shame. If you blow him off for too long, he may end up on your front lawn with his DJ equipment until you talk to him." Corey grinned.
"I doubt that." I laughed.
"I don't. You think I'm a pain in the ass? Sid has me beat hands down when he wants something. He is persistent. Just keep that in mind." Corey smiled.
"I kinda have a feeling this was his way of breaking up with me, Corey. I can take a hint." I told him. He shook his head.
"No. He didn't. I know Sid and this isn't him breaking up with you. He's fucking head over heels in love with you, just like you are with him. The only two that don't see this, is you and Sid." Corey smiled, drinking my beer. I stared at him in disbelief.
"What? We haven't been together that long." I protested.
"Exactly the problem. Why do you think he's acting this way? No one falls in love that quick, right? Wrong. They can, and they do. Me pointing this out to you has you freaking out now, huh?" He asked. I nodded.
"Stop it. Just let it happen. You two might as well quit fighting how you feel. It's only gonna make it that much worse on ya." He grinned.
"What makes you think that either of us feels that way?" I asked. Corey rolled his eyes.
"Jesus, Paris. Joey even sees it. So does Paul. They both said something about you two being in love. Goddamn. It's obvious." Corey said.
"You men gossip more than women do." I grinned. He laughed and nodded.
"Yep. But we're right. You know we are." He told me.
"I guess we will see if Sid comes around. The ball is in his court. I don't beg anyone to stay with me. Never have, never will." I said.
"So you want Sid to?" He laughed.
"No. But, he is the one who blew me off. It's up to him if he wants to be with me or not. I want to be with him. He knows that. I, on the other hand, don't know what he wants." I said.
"I understand that. I really do. And you're right." Corey told me. I smirked at him.
"Shit, I know." I smiled. Corey laughed hard.
"Our heart to heart is dead now, isn't? Like put it in a box and throw the box in the fucking ocean, huh?" Corey laughed. I giggled and nodded.
Corey stayed for a while and we talked about Griffin and his now ex wife. He talked about how much he loves that little boy and misses him so much. It was nice to see a different side of him for once. After he left, I got in bed and fell asleep with Ruby right next to me.
I have been moping around for two days now. I am so upset that Sid didn't have the balls to tell me we were done. I just don't understand what I did wrong. The not knowing is what upsets me, well, all of it upsets me. Fuck!
Why is it so hard to find a guy that actually gives a shit about me? Sure, I have my quirks, but don't we all? Yes, I'm a workaholic. Yes, I say what I'm feeling. But, I'm pretty sure I'm not a bad person under it all.
As I laid in my bed with Ruby, I stared at the ceiling. Wiping my eyes, I can hear some of the guys downstairs. I need out of this house, and Ruby needs a walk. I got up and headed downstairs.
"Hey Paris." Jim said quietly. I grinned a little and nodded at him. I went to the kitchen and grabbed my coat, pulling it on.
"Where ya going?" Joey asked coming up behind me.
"Taking Ruby for a walk." I said, looking down at my hands.
"Talk to me. What's up with Sid?" Joey asked me quietly.
"You would have to ask him. I haven't heard from him." I said in a whisper. I looked up to see Joey press his lips together and sigh.
"You should call him." Joey said.
"He doesn't want to talk to me. If he did, he would be here or he would call." I said quietly.
"I'm gonna kick his ass." Joey said. I shook my head.
"Please don't. I don't want to come between anyone. I'll be fine. I just need some time." I told him. Joey hugged me.
"How about you take Jim or Corey with you for your walk?" Joey asked hesitantly.
"Joey, I'm fine. Even if Joss is home, he won't hurt me. I was here by myself all night the other night. Ruby is with me." I told him.
"Got your phone?" Joey asked. I nodded.
"Ok. Be careful and I'll see ya in a bit." Joey grinned.
I walked for close to an hour. I did feel better, and not so depressed. It's still cold out side, and my fingers and toes are numb. Deciding it was time to head back home, Ruby and I headed back.
When I opened the door, I can feel warm air rushing over me. It feels amazing. I'm fucking frozen. The guys grinned at me as I let Ruby off the leash. Paul had shown up while I was gone. He stood up and came over to me worried.
"Paris. Rhino is here." Paul whispered.
My entire body froze. Rhino is my brother's marine buddy. He is about six feet tall, and has a chiseled body. Rhino's real name is Ryan, but no one calls him that. My stomach turned nervously with knots in it.
"Why?" I whispered.
"Said he needed to talk to you." Paul whispered. I nodded and took my coat off.
As I entered the living room, Rhino stood up to greet me. The last time I saw him, he looked good. Like he felt good mentally. Today is a whole other story. Dark circles weighed heavily under his eyes. He looks worn out and stressed. His normal buzzed blonde hair was growing out more.
"Hey Paris." Rhino grinned as I hugged him.
"Hey Rhino. What's going on?" I asked him.
"Do you have a few minutes?" He asked.
I nodded and glanced at Joey and Paul as they sat nervously. I led Rhino to the kitchen and we sat at the table.
"Rhino, what is it?" I asked.
Rhino put his head in his hands and sighed. He looked at me with his bright blue eyes and grinned weakly.
"I don't know how to tell you this. Joss is in the psych ward." Rhino said quietly. My heart sped up.
"What? Where? When did you guys get home?" I am so confused.
"Three months ago we came back. Joss has been on the edge since we got here. Last week, he overdosed on pills and booze. They are keeping him for the next three weeks. This is going to get back to our commanding officer, and Joss won't be able to come back to the Marines. He's gonna snap, Paris. He doesn't know how to be a civilian anymore." Rhino told me.
"Oh god." I said, letting a sob out. I laid my head onto my arms and cried on the table.
"I'm so sorry. I just saw your parents. You know how they are about dealing with shit like this." Rhino said. I nodded, not looking up at him. My parents hate reality. I'm sure it was no big deal to them.
This has been a shitty week. Between Sid, and now my brother, I'm done. I want to just leave the fucking state and not come back. I can't stop crying.
"I'm really sorry Paris. I am. I tried, you gotta believe me." Rhino almost begged. I nodded, sitting up. He reached over and held my hand.
"I know, and thank you. I don't know what will happen when they let him out. You remember last time." I sobbed. He nodded and looked down.
"I know. You know he wouldn't hurt you, right? He talks about protecting you all the time." Rhino said.
"Which is just as scary. I'm afraid he won't recognize Joey or Paul and hurt them when he thinks he is protecting me." I wiped my eyes.
"Look, I know he is your family. I know this. But Paris, do yourself and everyone you care about a favor, and call the cops if he shows up." Rhino said looking down.
"What?" I whispered. He didn't just say that, right?
"Paris, when you saw him last time he was bad. He is ten times worse." Rhino told me looking up. I may be sick. I nodded at him.
"Here is my number. You call me whenever you need to." Rhino said.
I stood up to hug him, watching him leave me in the kitchen. I heard the door shut, and grabbed a mug off the counter. I threw it as hard as I could at the wall.
"Fuck!!!" I yelled.
Multiple set of feet are running into the kitchen. I panted, looking up to see the four of them.
"Hey!" Paul almost yelled, surprising the hell out of all of us. When he had my attention, he walked over to me.
"Sorry. Wanted to make sure you are with me, and not some place else." Paul said quietly. I nodded.
"Tell me what he said, ok?" Paul asked. I went into to everything Rhino just told me, sobbing as I talked. Joey grabbed me and hugged me hard.
"Then that's what we have to do, Paris." Joey said.
"He is my brother, Joey! I can't call the cops on him!" I yelled at Joey.
"You need to think about this and be smart about it, Paris." Joey snapped back at me. My eyes went big.
"Sure, Joe. Let me just tell my own brother to fuck off. You're right." I yelled. Joey is quickly losing his patience with me.
"Paris, I'm sorry. I will call the cops if he shows up here." Joey told me. My jaw hit the ground.
"Are you fucking kidding me!" I yelled.
"Kids!!!!" Paul yelled again. Both Joey and I jumped. Corey and Jim both look just as surprised as we do.
"Thank you. Listen, I don't think right now is the best time to talk about this. Paris, you're in shock at what you just heard. Same with you Joey. We all need to calm down and think this through. Please, guys. I hate it when you two fight." Paul said. Joey and I looked at each other then away.
"Dick." I muttered at Joey.
"Asshole." Joey hissed.
I heard the Jim and Corey laughing, and I am fighting to not crack a smile.
"Gonna be a dick still?" I glanced at Joey.
"Gonna be an asshole still?" Joey smirked.
"Fuck, man!" I laughed. Joey laughed and hugged me.
"I'm sorry." I told him, not letting go.
"Me too. I just want you safe." Joey said. Another set of arms came around us.
"Love you too Paul." I grinned, not looking up.
"Not Paul, but I'll take it." Corey laughed.
"Ugh! Get off of me man!" Joey laughed, pulling away. Corey just hugged me without asking.
"Can you start telling me to fuck off sometime soon? You being nice is almost creeping me out." Corey grinned at me as we pulled away.
"Don't worry man. Today was my last day of a pity party." I grinned.
"About fucking time." Corey grinned.
"Let's talk about this in a day or two, ok? We both need a little time to process this." Joey told me.
"Ok." I nodded.
Can my life get just a little more fucked up right now?