chapter eight
something
Friday 26th January 2018
"I told you earlier that I haven't dated many woman before, would it be too early for me to ask about your history?" The pair walked hand in hand through the park near the ice-cream parlour. As Tom spoke, icy air left his lips and sent clouds of breathe circling into the air. When Olivia remained silent, Tom squeezed her hand. "It's okay if you don't want to-"
"I had a husband once." Olivia interrupted, staring straight ahead as she talked, showing no signs of weakness and no signs of regret. "A long, long time ago. But he still holds me back." She fell into silence, not knowing what else to say. But Tom was struggling to muster any words, he wasn't sure what he could say. "I bet you're wondering what happened?" She whispered, finally moving her head to look at Tom with a sad smile.
"I am, but it's not my business if you don't want it to be." The man comforted as he didn't want Olivia to tell him anything she would regret.
"No, I think you deserve to know." She went on. "I told you I hadn't been on a proper date in nearly 15 years, well it's probably longer than that. We met when I was 18. I had just moved to America for university and he was in my class. Gosh, I was such a fool back then. I had never had a boyfriend, let alone fallen in love but I fell for him, hard.
"We went on dates for about a year or two but then they just kind of stopped. He proposed to me one night, nothing special, and we got married as soon as both of us graduated. About 8 years ago he left me. Not one note, text, phone call or message. He had been cheating on me with my best friend for years, and I was so lovesick that I didn't even notice the signs." Olivia finished by letting a sigh out of her lips.
"I'm sorry," Tom mumbled quietly as he looked at Olivia, who's face bare of any emotion. At this statement, the woman scoffed and rolled her eyes.
"You don't need to apologise for anything."
"I do. I'm sorry that it happened to you and that I wasn't there to stop such an awful thing." Tom explained and pulled his date to the edge of the path to stop and face her with caring eyes. Olivia smiled the best she could and pulled her hand from Tom's grasp and moved it to his face. Her thumb stroked along the surface of his skin in a caring motion.
"Oh, Tom," She whispered as she was afraid talking too loud would break her heart further. Tears gathered in her eyes as Tom stepped closer to her and cradled her face. "We both know nothing could've stopped it. And honestly, I wouldn't change any of it. Because I never would've had..." She sighed. Without her former husband, Asher wouldn't be settled quietly in bed at home. She couldn't imagine going home without her son, so she had him to thank for the little miracle she bought up. Even if he did leave them.
She never finished her sentence. Olivia couldn't. Everything with Tom felt so amazing but like it could crack in any moment as it's walls were as fragile as glass.
"You loved him. You deserve to miss and still love him, Olivia. What he did was one of the worst things, but it's okay."
"I think I stopped loving him years ago. I just miss the security and being a half to someone else's heart. I miss love." Olivia admitted. She felt foolish for saying it as she looked at the ground. Tom placed his fingers under her chin and tilted her face to look at his.
"Do you..." He started. He looked so vulnerable as the pair stood gazing into each others eyes. "Do you think you could ever love again?"
"I would like to." She replied easily. Of course she did, who wouldn't want to fall in love again? She just had to find the right man. But everything inside Olivia said that the right man was stood in front of her.
Tom leaned forward so that he was close to Olivia. She was sure his eyes flicked to her lips, but he hesitated and leaned forward to kiss her cheek. As his lips lingered on her skin Olivia have a slightly exasperated sigh and leaned back. Tom tried to hide his panic by frowning.
"Oh, I wish you would stop doing that." Olivia laughed lightly, letting Tom know that there was nothing wrong with what he did, just that it wasn't enough.
"I'm sorry, was it here," He kissed her forehead playfully. "that you wanted?" Olivia shook her head violently and tried to hide the smile on her lips as her forehead tingled from his touch. "Here?" He bought her hand to his lips. "Or here?" Tom brushed his lips softly against her nose which made the woman giggle and crinkle her nose up.
"Neither." She laughed as her hands travelled around the back of his neck and got tangled in his hair. He leaned forward even more and looked at her lips, silently asking her a question. To Olivia's surprise, he carried on the slight tease and kissed the corner of her lips. "Nearly," She mumble as his lips remained on her.
Olivia decided to take charge and moved her head slightly so that their lips finally met. She swore that Tom made some sort of surprised noise but it made him all the more cuter.
With her eyes closed and ears muffled from Tom's long fingers, only the most important of her senses remained. She breathed in his scent, letting it swirl inside her and intoxicate all her nerves. Her fingers brushed at the back of his neck, gripping his hair tightly as Tom decided to move his mouth against hers. She could feel his body pressing against hers and it was like nothing she had ever experienced before. Olivia could taste the lingering sweet taste of ice-cream on his lips as their mouths brushed together in an innocent admittance of love. Not that either of them could see this love, however.
When they finally pulled apart, they rested their foreheads together, breathing heavily but smiling goofily.
"Wow." Olivia gasped.
***
"Mum! Get up, get up, get up!" Olivia Jones was rudely awoken from her slumber by Asher. The mother groaned and swatted a pillow at the little boy who bounced on his knees against the soft white mattress.
"Honey, it's half six." She groaned as she looked at her watch.
"I know but Lyra has acting this morning so you need to be up!" Asher exclaimed as he leaned over his mother and shook her shoulders aggressively before pulling the mattress off of her body.
"Oh, Asher!" Olivia shouted with annoyance but Asher only giggled. "You know we get up at 7 for that."
"I thought the extra half hour would give us enough time to decide the film for later." He decided innocently. Lyra then ran into the room, her bunny slippers making it impossible to hear the patter of her feet.
"Oh, Asher, don't be silly. We all know you want to go and see Early Man, which was released yesterday." Lyra stated with hands defiantly on her hips.
"Like you don't want to see it either." He poked his tongue out at his sister.
"Well, I guess we'll get ready then." The mother sighed and got out of bed. She patted her kids' backs so that they would exit with her until they made it to the kitchen.
"Tell us about your date, mummy." Lyra clapped her hands excitedly as she remembered what her mother was doing last night. Olivia laughed lightly before explaining most of it as simple as she could.
After nearly 3 hours, Asher and Olivia arrived back home from dropping Lyra at acting school. She did two hours there every Saturday, as suggested by Sarah.
"Can we watch a film, mum?" Asher asked as he plonked himself onto the sofa and already had the remote in his hand.
"Of course, sweetie. Whatever you want-" Olivia was cut off by the shrill ring of her phone and she glanced down to see it was Lizzy calling her. "You put the DVD in and I'll be back after this call, okay?" The mother suggested and Asher nodded eagerly before making his way over to the DVDs. It's not as if there was much choice though, because they not knew it would be one of the marvel movies.
"Hey, Lizzy-"
"You didn't tell me you were dating the Tom Hiddleston!" Olivia's sister exclaimed. Olivia frowned as she closed her bedroom door and sat on her bed.
"What do you mean?" Of course she knew she was dating someone called Tom Hiddleston, but how did Lizzy know?
"Wait...you don't know?" Lizzy asked hesitantly.
"Don't know what?" She snapped, getting slightly frustrated.
"You don't know who Tom Hiddleston actually is?" Olivia remained silent, trying to figure out what her sister meant. When Lizzy got no response, she continued. "Oh, Liv. I'm sorry, I thought you knew."
"What is it, Elizabeth?" The mother inquired, using the name that she rarely used with her sister.
"Tom Hiddleston is one of the biggest male actors in Britain. He plays Loki in the marvel universe, and he was in that horror movie, Crimson Peak, we absolutely loved when it first came out. Olivia, he went to school with bloody Prince William." Olivia stayed silent. All she could do was sit on her bed with her mouth parted in shock. "He didn't tell you this?"
"No he didn't bloody tell me this!" Olivia fumed, finally letting it all sink in as anger bubbled within her. "Gosh, I feel so damn stupid! I watch him as Loki every week, I knew I recognised his voice."
"Olivia, I am so sorry. You should call him, he wouldn't do this to hurt you, Liv. He wouldn't treat you like that. Give him a chance to explain." Lizzy tried, knowing full well that her sister was one second away from either crying or screaming in anger.
"Explain what!?" Olivia grumbled. "That he lied straight to my face, that he used me?"
"As if you haven't lied to him, too, Olivia!" Lizzy snapped but immediately regretted her decision. The woman sat on her bed sighed, letting tears swell in her eyes.
"You bloody well know that's different. I think I'm entitled to know if I'm dating a celebrity, Lizzy." She countered back and heard her sister sigh.
"I know, I'm sorry. I just- I feel bad for him, Liv. And I know you're too angry to see it, but he must be tired of the press prying into his private life every waking moment. He probably wanted you to treat him normally." Lizzy tried to counter her sister so that she calmed down. The mother sighed and ran shaky fingers through her hair.
"Lizzy, how did you find out?" She asked but Lizzy remained silent. All the possibilities started tuning through Olivia's head and she started to panic internally. "Elizabeth?"
"It's everywhere, Liv." The actress breathed out, creasing her eyebrows together in fear of her sisters reaction. "It's all over the Internet, on the front of all the newspaper's."
"What have they said about me? About us?" Olivia whispered, her heart dropping considerably.
"They just know who you are. They talked about your career, mine and Eric's. The kids weren't mentioned." Olivia sighed in relief but nevertheless bought her palm up to her forehead to try and calm down. This story was everywhere. She'd be pestered about it by everyone, in the playground, in the supermarket and even at Asher's football. It wasn't going to be the same for a long time.
"Shit." Was all Olivia could get out.
"If you want, I can come round, Eric can take the kids out whilst we talk-" Lizzy tried to think of anyway to comfort her sister and desperately suggested anything that came to mind.
"No, no. It's okay. Honestly. Me and Asher are about to watch a movie." Olivia stood up and walked softly out of her bedroom and to the lounge.
"Please tell me it's not Thor." Lizzy groaned softly to try and lighten the mood. Asher was still sat on his place on the sofa as the disc menu of Thor: Ragnarok was shown on the TV.
"It's Thor Rangnarok." Olivia replied to her sister and she let out a shaky breathe. "Well, I uh...I better get going. I'll see you soon?"
"Of course, Olivia. Just, call him, okay?" Lizzy pleaded. "Bye." Olivia hung up the phone with a slight sigh. Asher turned to her with a worried frown so she immediately put on a fake smile for him.
"Come on, Asher. Let's start this before we go collect Lyra."
***
It was Sunday evening, and Olivia hadn't so much as texted Tom. The whole weekend had seemed to go by in a blur. Everywhere she looked, she saw Tom. He as on her TV, his voice was in her ears when the trio went to see Early Man, his name was splashed upon posters.
After collecting Lyra, Sarah had called Olivia to check how she was doing, though even the mother herself didn't know. She felt numb in every bone of her body. Everywhere Tom had kissed her on Friday no longer felt warm but burned her skin as if laughing at her foolishness.
He had tried, desperately, to get a hold of her in the two days. Numerous phone calls, voicemails and texts had made it impossible for Olivia to not think of Tom Hiddleston.
As Olivia finished her third glass of white wine, she stared into her lap, where her phone was open on Tom's contact. After gaining the confidence she needed through alcohol, she pressed her thumb against the screen and bought it to her ear. Tom picked up immediately.
"Olivia?" His voice sounded raw and broken.
"Hi, Tom." She didn't let any weakness show, but all Olivia wanted to do was cry.
"Look, give me a chance to explain. Please-"
"Not now." Olivia interrupted but her voice cracked slightly. "We...we have things we need to talk about. And I'd like to do it in person."
"Okay, when and where?" Tom asked, feeling utterly helpless as he could hear Olivia trying to hide her pain.
"Monday night? It has to be somewhere private. My, uh, my place isn't private enough." She suggested although she would stand her ground and make sure they were not spotted out in public again.
"We can do it at my house. Is 8 okay?" He replied, making his hands busy by tapping nervously on his knee.
"Yeah, its fine." She sighed.
"I'll text you my address. And Olivia, I'm so sorry." Tom whispered out the last part, desperately wanting Olivia to show him some sort of emotion; hate, anger, sadness, regret.
"Okay." Was all Olivia said before she hung up the phone and settled it back on to her lap. The stressed woman leaned forward to grab the wine bottle and drained its contents into her glass. After rubbing her eyes furiously, Olivia made her way to her bedroom and lifted the sheets up to drown herself in. She held her glass tightly in her hand as she switched on the tv and let Graham Norton on catch up soothe her into sleep.
word count: 2614
note: tysm for 2k!!