I laid my head on his hand while I sobbed. "Baby, it's all ready, I just closed on our farm. All of our dreams are coming true."
He's so still, and I heard a few noises come through his mouth. I look up and grab a towel to wipe his face.
"I love you so much, and it's all going to be okay." I reach up and wipe a tear off my cheek.
"Isabella, can I see you for a moment?" Kathleen, Braden's mom, popped her head in the room.
"Um, yeah, sure." I leaned over and kissed Braden's forehead and followed Kathleen to an empty room.
"Have a seat, sweetheart." I felt a little nervous, and I'm still crying.
She sat next to me in the empty bed and took my hand into hers.
"You know I love you like a daughter, otherwise we wouldn't be having this talk right now."
I nodded my head yes.
"Honey, Braden is gone. He's been gone for over a year and a half, and it pains me to say these words to you, but I need...no, Braden needs you to move on, he's not coming back. He has such little brain activity, the doctors say he will never function again. Don't be another one of his victims."
I looked at her with pain in my eyes and she continued.
"He chose to drink and drive that night, and that decision led him to hit that family head on. That was his choice, and he ruined so many lives. Don't let your life be one of them, he wouldn't want you seeing him like this sweetie." She tried to comfort me.
I looked up at her with tears running down my cheeks. "But I promised him we would buy that farm, we would live there until we died. Kathleen, how can you expect me to move on? How do I do that? Because I'm not capable." I cried while I shook my head, then looked back down at our hands.
She moves my hair behind my ear.
"You are capable, more than capable, actually. You are a vet, not a flight attendant, and you're not tied down to anyone. Go find yourself a deserving man, one that will have those babies with you. Invite us to your wedding, let those babies call me Grandma. Don't leave our lives, but live your life." She said.
"Why are you saying this now? Why? We worked so hard to get him where he is, and now you want me to give up on him?"
"After the last pneumonia, his father and I decided to make him DNR. Honey, his physical body might be here, but his soul is long gone. His father and I have no life left in us. This whole thing has drained us, and now they've just confirmed no hope. He wouldn't want to live like this as a 28-year-old vegetable. Honey, I'm his mother, and I've changed his diapers again as a full grown man. He would not want this, and you know it's true. This is torture for all of us. We have to be ready to say goodbye."
I can barely contain myself. "We wanted to see the world after college, we worked for the airlines to travel and save for a few years. I finally did it by myself, and now he's leaving me? I don't understand."
"You will, eventually. Honey, you just wiped the slobber off his face, do you really think it's what he would have wanted you to do? Take care of him as an infant?" She asked.
I shook my head no, and looked down at my hands.
"You're working two jobs just to maintain your dreams with him that will never come true. Take on more vet business, live your life, and to do that, I have something for you." She lets go of my hand and stands before she reaches into a drawer and pulls out an envelope.
"Braden's trust fund has been transferred into your name. This is what he would want, Isabella. Go live, please."
She stands just after she patted my hand.
"Go see the world, pay off the farm honey." She lifted my chin. "Live for him, do it for Braden."
She gave me a hug, then kissed my head before she walks away. I curl up into a ball and cry. Braden comes from money, but refused it because we wanted to earn our futures. It's the trust fund from his grandfather. They had a falling out, and he refused it when he hit the age it could be released to him. Instead, he skipped college and became a pilot.
I betrayed him in London, I'm disgusting, and I hate myself. I hate myself for being in Paris the night of his accident, I hate myself for letting another man touch me, and I don't even know his name.
I betrayed Kathleen and John, and most of all, I betrayed myself. I had to go for STD tests, and I hope and pray I didn't get pregnant. Thank God, everything was okay physically, but mentally, I'm a disaster.
Those piercing blue eyes, his moans, his kisses, and the fact that for those few minutes, I felt alive again. I betray Braden when I dream of that man. His touch, the way he...oh my god, the way we had sex, the way he looked at me. The fact that years with Braden never provided me with that kind of instant physical pleasure.
Those blue eyes on a man that towered above me, sent chills down my spine. He lifted me up like I weighed nothing and thrust himself inside me like our lives depended on it, and it was heaven even just for those few moments.
I decided to pull myself together. I couldn't even say goodbye to Braden, and I ran out of his parent's house and jumped into my truck as fast as I could.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey, Izz..."
"What Cody?"
"Why did God give men penises?"
"Not listening, Cody." I knew it would be horrible.
"So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up." He laughed at his own dumbass joke.
"Why did God give me such a big foot Cody?"
"Why?"
"So it would hurt worse when I shove it up your ass!"
"Hmmm...You can do anything you want to my ass, baby."
I roll my eyes. "You're so stupid."
I finished my exam.
"Okay, she's doing fine. You've probably got a few more days till the calf comes, don't go sending her out to field anytime soon, but it won't be today. Looks like you also have a horse about to drop." I pointed.
"Yeah, everybody but me is getting it these days." He sarcastically laughed at himself.
"You're cute, and you'd probably have more luck with the ladies if you didn't speak." I said, it's true! His jokes are horrible.
He actually laughed? Well, in all fairness, I'm the only one he teases in this way.
I put my bag over my shoulder and start to walk away.
"Hey, Izz." I stop and turn around. "You've done real good Izz, he would have been proud." Cody tipped his hat at me.
"Thanks, Cody."
I hopped into my truck and head home, but I guess my day isn't over yet. I see my dad sitting on my front porch waiting for me.
"Hi, Daddy, what brings you out this way?" I lean up on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek before I unlock my door.
"Do I need an excuse to come see my favorite daughter?" He asks.
"You mean your only daughter?" I look through my mail and see a letter from the airline and set it aside.
"Well, I was hoping you would do me a favor." My father grins.
I cross my arms in front of me. "Sure, anything Dad."
"Will you attend the governor's ball with me next week?"
Except for that...
"Ugh, Dad. Really? I hate those things."
"Well, it's just that...well, I'm getting an award, and.."
"When aren't you getting an award?" I cut him off.
"I just want the prettiest girl on earth on my arm."
"Alright, Daddy, I'll go, but you owe me." I smile.
"And what's the payment?" He crosses his arms.
"Well, I was hoping you'd talk to Montgomery about Braden."
Dad sighs and sits down on a kitchen chair.
"Honey, don't do this. Kathleen has been clear about their wishes. Don't fight them, sweetie. They're suffering, and nobody wants that put on you."
I thought Montgomery could help me fight for power of attorney.
"What if it was Mom? You went to the ends of the earth trying to save her life, how's this different?" I sat across from him.
"Your Mom had a bad heart and there was a chance. Braden is already gone, sweetie. He's not coming back."
"I told you about that therapy in Germany." I pointed out.
He reaches for my hand. "Let go, please, just let go." He shakes his head. "He has no chance of recovery. We had 20 percent chance with your mom, Braden has none, he's gone."
It's been three weeks since I went to see him.
"I'm trying Dad, but I can't get rid of that hope. It just never goes away."
He pats my hand.
"It will, as it did for his parents. There's no love, like the love of our children. Believe me, if Kathleen could do it, you can too."
I change the subject.
"When's the ball?"
"Next weekend in Lexington. I figured we would stay at the hotel it's being held at. Here, take my card and get a dress." He reached for his wallet.
"I already have one, actually. Blair sent it to me from Paris."
"Good, we will leave at 1800 hours on Friday."
"Yes, sir." I smiled at him, and he pats my back.
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