Well, well, well look who finally got her shit together and wrote the last chapter this thing. I don't have much to say except thank you all for reading it and sticking with me and that I hope you guys enjoy this one.
She knows what's coming, she remembers what's coming, but she has no idea what to expect out of it. She just knows this. She is not ready.
She doesn't have to remind Matteo this week that he is supposed to teach her a new way of flirting he actually reminds her, he appears on saturday with a grin on his face and a glint in his eyes and she is confused for a second because she is sure she didn't tell him to hang out today much less study so she has no idea why he is here.
Her mom is delighted though.
"Matteo." She exclaims happy when she opens the door and Luna chokes a little on her breakfast. "What are you doing here?"
She has the same question for him actually but he just grins bigger and casual kissing her mother's cheek and walking inside of the kitchen like he belongs here.
"I came to see Luna." He answers obviously. "I wanted to hang out."
"Why?" Luna asks with a mouthful of cereal and her mom sends her a disapproving look,her dad laughs and Matteo laughs even harder.
She pouts at him when she can and he kisses her forehead as a hi before shaking his dad's hand.
"Because you are my friend?" He asks amused sitting next to her. "And I enjoy your company?"
"Valid." She says pointing her spoon at him. "But still weird."
"Why?"
"Because you didn't let me know." She tells him and Matteo shrugs as a cup of tea miraculously appears in front of Matteo by her mother's hand.
"Well I just felt like coming by but if you don't want to see me I can go." He tells her. "After this amazing tea of course, thanks very much by the way Mónica."
Her mom smiles at him and Luna rolls her eyes shaking her head.
"Of course you can stay, you dork." Luna tells him and ignores how her mom subtly makes her dad stand up and leave the kitchen.
"You don't seem convinced." He says pouting and she just sighs and keeps eating her cereal with a done face. "Anyway, we need to talk."
"That doesn't seem ominous at all." Luna tells him.
"It's about the flirting thing." He tells her. "I'm not gonna tell you something bad."
"Okay, what about it?" She asks him getting slightly uncomfy and moving to sit crossed legged on the chair facing him.
"It's the last week." He says and Luna just nods. "It means we are going for the final way."
"That I had figured."
"This way will make you uncomfortable." He warns her.
"Unlike how much I loved all the others?" She asks and he rolls his eyes.
"It's the physical way." He tells her and she just nods. "In this way it's all about touching people,making them feel wanted and desired and comfortable too."
"How?" She asks confused,all of these methods are always so much more than what she expected.
"Well you know there are different kind of touches, right?" She just nods again. "So you have these that are nice and sweet and comforting and then there are those made to make the other person all hot and bothered and frustrated."
"So which one are we doing?"She asks not being able to avoid the blush on her cheeks.
"Both of course." He tells her with a wink. "But I will show you tomorrow, now let's go to your room and watch some dumb movie."
She follows him of course she does but she is shaking inside,she doesnt know what to expect from tomorrow and she doesn't know how she will survive it.
Day 1
She can't find Matteo, she has no idea why because she texted him exactly where he was in the cafeteria but she still doesn't see him,the morning bell announcing the beginning of school will start soon and she is really just considering going to the classroom. She looks around once more with a sigh and before she can turn around to leave two strong arms are wrapped around her and some soft soft lips kiss her cheek loudly. She jumps a little but she knows who it is of course she does, she could recognize Matteo everywhere no matter if she is not looking at him.
"Hi." She says a little unsure looking up to him still on his embrace. "This is new."
"This is for demonstration purposes." He says but still doesn't let go, she looks at him confused and he just smiles. "Remember how we talked there are two kind of touches? I'm going to show you one of them today,the one you will be more comfy with."
"You will show me?" She asks and he just nods.
"This is something you know but there are
tiny things you don't do that give it the extra feeling that it's not that you are just a touchy person."
"Like what?"
"I will let you figure that out." He says in a deep very amused voice and she has no idea how she will ever survive this day.
⭐
She was right to be concerned for her mental health because at the end of this day she is a mess a very big one,he has hugged her and touched her so much she can smell his perfume more than hers on her skin. She seems to be surrounded by Matteo all of the time, even when he is not there and by the time she gets home she can barely stand properly.
The worst part is that he is still,physically, with her. She just can't shake him away, not that she wants to but well having a little space to think and breath wouldn't be a bad thing at all.
He says hi to her parents without letting go if her hand and as they sit and talk he keeps her close,playing with her hair and her fingers and kissing her knuckles. All she has noticed so far about this way is that it involves a lot of casual kissing, in the cheeks,on the forehead, on her hands,there's also something different on it,some kind of further intention like he always wants to be touching her more but she doesn't know how she could possibly convey this to someone. If he doesn't feel it already there's no way he will feel it now.
After a while he leaves saying his goodbyes as charming as always and leaving her with a kiss on the forehead as he puts a strand of her hair behind her ear,his fingers linger for a second,two,three, on her neck but then he pulls away casually like nothing ever happened.
"So what's the deal with that Matteo?" Her dad asks and Luna frowns.
"You have known him for long." She answers confused. "You should know what his deal is by now."
"I think,sweetie."Her mom intervenes from the sink where she is doing the dishes. "That your dad here wants to know what's the deal with you two."
"What do you mean?" Luna asks turning to her. "We are friends."
"Has anyone told him that?" Her father asks at the same time her mom gives her a soft smile.
"Are you sure,honey?" She asks after a while and Luna shakes her head lost and startled by the questions.
"Of course I'm sure." She tells them forcefully. Maybe too forcefully because they don't seem to believe her at all. But at least they drop the topic.
Day 2
As morning comes and she walks around the school looking for Matteo she is not really worried about if she can manage this day but about if she can survive it.
She can be touchy, she can kiss his cheek and knuckles and play with his hair and hug him but a part of her is so scared that if she lets herself to all of this with Matteo she will want more.
She will want more of him and if in the end this doesn't work or if she doesn't get the courage to do it she won't be able to go back to normal, that she will miss having him like this so much it will hurt, she has learned in life that there's nothing worse than wanting something you once had but don't anymore. And she doesn't want Matteo to be this for her so she needs to get a grip,get some self control or finally have the bravery to tell him how she feels. The later won't happen any soon so she is hoping for the first to magically appear.
He is waiting for her outside of the school, standing up against a wall as he usually is, she shivers and it has nothing to do with the cold air that's filling the morning.
She takes a deep breath and goes to him,he is looking at his phone so she can sneak under his arms and hug him by surprise, she tries to kiss his cheek too but without his help she can only reach his jaw so it will have to do.
Unlike her yesterday he doesn't seem any surprised, his arms go around her immediately, she can't stop the sigh that slips out of her lips.
"Good morning, chico fresa." She says hiding on his chest and he doesn't seem to mind at all.
"Good morning, delivery girl." He says in such a soft, sweet voice she is curious to see what his eyes look like,in the end she doesn't dare,too scared what they might do to her so she stays safe, all pressed up against him.
"How are you?" She asks, her voice muffled by his school vest.
"Well now amazing,of course." He tells her and she is sure he can feel the heat if her cheeks even under all his clothes. "How are you?"
"Sleepy." She mumbles before hugging him tighter. "And very,very warm."
"Don't go falling asleep on me,Cucciola." He pokes her softly on the ribs and she pulls away with a pout. "We have class now."
"I don't wanna class." She says hugging him again. "I wanna stay here forever."
She lets herself kiss his collarbone softly, through his shirt and he tenses. Maybe this was too much,maybe he didn't like it, maybe he doesn't feel comfortable with the idea of her being like this and is now regretting this whole thing.
"At least we have friday off, so don't complain too much." He tells her and she hadn't realized how tense she was until he starts softly caressing her arm up and down and she relaxes completely.
⭐
Later they are in the cafeteria, eating with their friends and everyone is sending them weird looks. She has avoided being alone with the girls lately, knowing they will bombard her with question she is not ready to answer not to them.
Those three are way too over invested in her life and there are many times when she doesn't appreciate it, but this time she can't blame them. She can't blame anyone.
Matteo and her have been, touchy, very touchy and between yesterday with him all over her and today being the other way around she can't say she doesn't understand the knowing looks their friends send each other as she kisses Matteo's hair and sits so close to him she is almost on her lap.
She also can't blame how all their eyes go to their joined hands as soon as she intertwines her fingers and how Ramiro's eyebrows raise so high they almost hide behind his curls when she rests their hands on Matteo's thigh and her head on his shoulder.
She knows no one will dare to directly question them about what's happening, and she knows that no one will do it with the other here so she lets herself relax and Matteo seems to have no problems at all as he grins at her.
He is saying something but she can't focus on him because she is too busy thinking of him. That thing she did in front of his parents is still not out of her mind, the way he fixes her hair behind her ear, how his fingers brushed against her skin, it all left her puzzled and confused and she wants him to feel like this.She wants to be the reason he feels like this.
Time goes by and lunch is done but the thought doesn't leave her mind as they are walking she notices that his tie is slightly off the center.
When they are saying goodbye he kisses her cheek and as she takes a deep breath she rests her hands on his shoulders and when he pulls away she lets the travel to his tie, fixing it slowly, deliberately. He looks at her confused as she tightens the knot a little and moves it to right, she lets her fingers linger against the small patch of exposed skin by that one button he always leaves undone, counting the seconds on her mind.
One, two, three, four. She needs to force herself to take her hand away.
He is looking at her dazed so she just smiles and says goodbye before turning around to go to class. For some reasons he feels like her fingertips are burning.
Day 3
"I think you are ready for something more." Matteo tells her and Luna looks up from her notebook and to him, he is helping her with her bio homework in the library and for a second she asks herself what more is there to mitosis but the smirk on his face tells her right away that this is definitely not what he means.
"What?" She just asks though cause her mouth is bever the most eloquent.
"I think you are ready for the next step of the physical way." He says casually and she needs to make an effort not to choke on air 'cause sounds way dirtier in her head than what he is imagining probably, even if the smirk on his face makes her doubt herself.
"The next step?" She asks and he just nods. "The other kind of touch you told me?"
"Yes, exactly this."
"No." She shakes her head. "I don't know how to do this."
"This is why I will teach you." He says simply and this time Luna does choke on air.
"We are in the library." She exclaims and Matteo rolls her eyes.
"That didn't stop you from basically screaming just now." He shrugs and gets closer to her. She has half a mind to move back but he doesn't seem to care that much, he still ends inches away from her.
"Okay." He starts after a few seconds. "There are a few things that always work, touching wise."
"Like what?" She asks actually curious and she almost can't believe herself.
"A hand on the thigh is always good." He tells her and more importantly he does it. He lets his hand fall into her thigh, hot and rough and under her actual skirt, just by little but her breath still catches on her throat. "It always feel intimate, it always feels like there's something more waiting for you of you give it enough time, if you just dare."
She has never been a daring person, but right now she would like to be.
"The neck is also good for most people." He says and he softly traces a path with the fingers of his free hand on her skin, starting on her jaw and going slowly, slowly down her neck and onto her collarbone on back again, with each stroke she feels like her skin temperature is rising higher and she doesn't even register that she has closed her eyes until she feels his lips, soft like a butterflies touch against her pulse where his fingers used to be, she gasps. "I have found that kisses work better here, but it's hard to casually slip them into normal interactions."
He kisses her again, lips parted this time and she feels ashamed by the obvious way her body trembles underneath them, heat is going down her spine and his hand on her thigh feels like it's moving higher and she doesn't know how to tell him that she wants more. She has forgotten where they are, she has forgotten that at any point a teacher, the librarian, a student could walk on them and find them in this position, her body is full of want even with just these little touches.
"Whispering in someone's ear is also good." He says doing just that, his voice rough and low and deep, his perfume intoxicating, he leaves a kiss behind her ear quickly before continuing his explanation. "Soft whispers are always enticing and if you know how to do it, how to talk just the right way, you can make the simplest words the hottest ones you have ever heard."
"There are also more obvious ways." He says his voice still low. "But those are no appropriate for such a place like the one we are in."
With that he pulls away and she opens her eyes so fast the bright fluorescent lights of the library hurt them.
He has moved to face away from her and she can see just his profile buried on his book. She sighs, her blood running so fast through her veins she swears she can feel it making its way through her body as it burns her insides.
Her head is spinning, she feels, dizzy, confused, she can't think properly, she feels drunk.
She looks at him and he seems unbothered, but the sound of his heavy breathing still fills the space they are in.
It feels good, to know she can affect him too.
Day 4
Today she feels bold, she feels brave, she has a plan and she will stick to it. It's very simple, but very hard for her at the same time.
She will just make Matteo feel the same way he made her feel the day before on the library, somehow, someway she will find the moment, the perfect moment to have him alone and mess with him like he messed with her.
And meanwhile she will build up to it, she wants to surprise him, with every touch, every movement, she wants to startle him, to confuse him.
It sounds almost mean on her head but she doesn't really care, this is not only revenge, this is a experiment. Today she figures out if he sees her as something more than a friend, in any way, shape or form, no matter if it's just physical right now, no matter if he is only, maybe attracted to her, she can work with that, or she thinks so at least. Because that is better than nothing and no matter if it's not really what she wants she can't just go back to how things used to be. She will take whatever she can get.
As sad as this sounds.
⭐
She gets to school later than usual on purpose, she knows that after some time, when the school starts to get filled with people he just goes inside and wait for her on a bench and this is what she wants.
"Hello." She whispers as she sneaks behind him softly, smoothly. And before he turns back she kisses the spot behind his ear. She feels him shiver ever so slightly under her lips. She has never felt so powerful.
"Hello." He says looking surprised as he bites his lower lip. Whenever he does this there's something raises inside of Luna's urging her to kiss him, to pull that lip with her own teeth, to bite on it and nibble. Whenever he does this Luna's mind fills with images where her lips are on his, moving fast and desperate. Whenever he does this Luna imagines what would it feel like if that were his lip in between his teeth. She takes a deep breath, she can't figure this out right now. But she can take her thumb to it, softly push the soft flesh of his lips from the pressure of his teeth, she brushes her finger against it longer than necessary and when she pulls it away she offers no explanation. His eyes are dark, his pupils so big they almost seem dark and she can see how his hand moves ever so slightly, as if he wanted to grab something, as if he wanted to touch her but she is still behind him and the bench is still between them. So he stops himself and clears his throat.
"We need to go to class." He says in a raspy voice and Luna smiles. There's still thirty minutes for any of their classes to start. But she doesn't comment on that.
⭐
Later in the roller she is a mess, a big, big mess, she managed to sneak touches, whispers, the smallest of kisses but now the big thing is coming and she has no idea how she will ever pull it off. Truth be told she considers herself many things but hot and sexy is not one of them. So she is almost expecting this to fail miserably.
But at the same time she is on a high, on a high from making Matteo lose his cool, stumble over his words, his own feet even, she never even thought this was possible. She wants to see it more, she wants to do it more.
She is waiting for him on the lockers, pretending like she is pulling away her skates whenever someone comes by but after a while he appears and she smiles at him.
"Hi." She says simply leaning against the lockers, she has no idea why her fake confident flirting is acting slightly more like Matteo does but she has no time to ponder over that.
"Hi." He smirks at her, mimicking her moves on the lockers in front of her.
"You know?" She asks. "I feel like I didn't get enough practice today."
"What do you mean?" He asks trying to be casual, but his voice goes down one octave.
"Well, I don't think I really dabbled into this particular way of touching as much as I should have."She starts walking towards him, slowly, but it's a short distance already, she doesn't have to take many steps to be in front of him.
God, she hopes she is not being ridiculous.She hopes he doesn't think she is being ridiculous.
"I think you did great." He tells her and she hums.
"Maybe." She concedes. "But I didn't really get to test everything you said to me yesterday."
"What do you mean?"She takes one more tiny step towards him, until she is so close she can feel his body heat on her skin.
"I didn't get to try this." She says standing up and kissing his neck, she hears him take a deep breath. "And you said it worked so well so I was curious."
She rest her hands on his chest stabilizing herself and she leaves another kiss against his skin, he is not saying anything but he is not pulling her away either. She plays with the buttons of his shirt as one of her hands goes to the nape of his neck, she tangles her fingers on his hair, playing softly with it. Before she can stop herself, before her brain can catch up to what she is doing she sucks on his skin, just for a few seconds but his hand still goes to her hips pressing her against him.
She looks up to him his eyes messy and so, so dark. He is keeping her close to him and the fact that she is sure there was nothing hard against her stomach before makes it impossible for her to breath. She lets out a shaky breath and kisses his jaw before he leans in closer to her.
He is so close, so, so close, his nose is touching hers, his breath is tickling her lips, his grip on her hips burns her, she tilts her head up and their lips almost touch, the smallest space possible is between them and as he moves his head to the side, the tip of her nose caressing hers in a way she never thought could ever be considered hot she thinks this is it. She thinks she will finally make it.
"Luna!" Until Nina calls her name somewhere close enough that it sends them both jumping away from each other.
"I need to go." She tells him and she doesn't recognize her own voice.
"I will stay here." He says, voice as strangely distorted as hers. She keeps her eyes on his doesn't dare to look anywhere else until she turns away completely and then she just runs before Nina can catch them together.
Day 5
They are sitting.Next to each other. On his bed. On his room. On his completely alone house. His laptop is on his lap and Lyra is napping at their feet and she has absolutely no idea how they manage to be casual and normal after what happened yesterday.
He is the one who called her this morning, seeming completely normal as he asked her if she wanted to hang out at his place today and she almost thought that there was something more in there, that maybe he had some hidden intentions. That is until she got there and he hugged her as usual, took her to his room and asked her what she wanted to watch as he opened his laptop.
Luna can say honestly that she has never been more confused on her whole life.
He is acting as if nothing has happened and she is scared, she is terrified that for him it was actually like this, that for him this was just part of teaching her how to flirt, something that doesn't need or deserves to be talked about. After all she is sure she is not the only girl Balsano has ended up in a compromising position on those lockers, or in school, or well in general.
For him all this stuff it's not as big as it is for her, it's not as important, so she is scared he failed to see how big of a step that was on her side, how big of a declaration.
When he starts to complain after a few episodes of Gravity Falls she realizes that if she wants this to be something she needs to make it so herself, so she moves closer to him, their arms brushing against each other. He doesn't react at all , he is still complaining about how they should watch a movie, he just nods and lets him put whatever he wants.
She needs to think here.
She moves so she is cuddles against him and this is nothing unusual so she doesn't expect him to react but the little surprised jump when she slides her hands under his shirt is exactly what she wanted, he doesn't say anything but she can see the way his chest raises faster and more erratic when she starts teasing his skin with her nails.
She hides on his neck, leaving small, soft, barely there kisses on his skin as she hears the beginning of the movie he picked and Lyra leave, annoyed by the loud explosions. This worked yesterday and she really hopes it works now, but even as her kisses get bolder, longer, as she starts to suck on his skin like she did yesterday all he does is absently play with her hair, she bites him slightly out of pure frustration, wanting something more, needing something more from him.
And she finally gets it.
He lets out a deep, small moan and she is so surprised with it that she freezes for a second but she wants to hear it again, she needs to hear it again.
She moves the laptop aside and he is looking at her confused but she has no time to explain, she just straddles him in the bed and kisses him.
It's by no means a soft kiss, it's desperate, hot, needing. It's fast and hungry. She can't breath, she can't think, she can't feel anything that is not Matteo and his lips on hers, she doesn't care about anything else either, so she has no problems here.
His hands go to her hips, moving them against his slowly, teasingly, she can feel the heat pool on her lower stomach and she can feel him get hard under her.
She can't believe this is happening, she can't believe she is doing this with Matteo, she can't believe she is doing this at all.
But even then, she is enjoying it.
His hand slides under her shirt going up her stomach before he take sit to her back keeping her close to him, as if she ever wanted to escape this moment. As if there was something that could ever compare to being on his arms,kissing him, touching him.
There's no other place she rather be.
"I don't think your guy will like that you are doing this with me." But he doesn't get it apparently.
"What?" She pulls away, he hadn't before, he had just mumbled the words against her lips as if no thought could have made him stop kissing her.
"Your guy." He explains and now his whole stance is getting colder, she is still on his lap, his hands are still on her hips, he is just as close as she was before but now he feels impossibly far away. "The one you wanted to flirt with."
"God, Matteo." She exclaims rolling her eyes and dropping her head on his shoulders. "You are so fucking dumb."
"Excuse you?" He asks offended and she takes a deep breath before she straightens her back and takes his face between her hands.
"You are that guy." She says slowly and surely but he just blinks in confusion. "You have been that guy since the very beginning. "
"You asked me to teach you how to flirt so you could flirt with me?" He asks and his tone is trying to tell her that this is the dumbest idea ever, she is happy her cheeks are red already so he can see the ashamed blush that takes over them.
"It made sense in my head, okay?" She asks defensive. "Who better to teach me how to do it than you?"
"That's true." He admits. "But you never had to flirt with me,Luna, please."
She has no idea what this mean so she just tilts her head to the side , completely lost.
"Luna." He starts again with a deep breath. "I like you, I like you very much, in every possible way one can like a person."
"Really?" She asks and she feels so dumb but she needs to make sure, she needs to make sure she is hearing this, that he actually means this words, she knows that Matteo wouldn't lie to her, not about this but there's still some small irrational part of her mind that believes that maybe she is hearing these words wrong, that maybe they don't mean what she thinks they mean.
"I do." He says, his hand going to her cheek to caress it it softly. "And I have liked you like this for a very long time, all you ever had to do is ask, damn it, whenever you want something from me all you have to do is ask, I'm a complete fool for you, Luna, I could never deny you anything."
"I love you." She just says, works barely audible between her breathy laugh. But he hears them, she knows that he hears them because he looks stunned for a second before a grin takes over his face. "I love you so much."
"I love you too." He whispers and he is leaning close to her again, slowly, building tension. But she has no time for that shit, she just kisses him again, bringing him closer with her hands on his nape.
This kiss is so much softer, so much sweeter, so much more tender and just as perfect. It fills her with warmth instead of heat, it makes butterflies come alive on her belly and fireworks on her mind. She doesn't care how cheesy this sounds, it's true. She has never felt quiet as happy, quite as free as she feels right now. She has never felt like she could touch the sky quite in the way Matteo's lips make her feel.
She has never felt like this before but now she is sure that she will again.