'What about me?' Tau said sadly, 'Will you hand me over to the UNSC for evidence?'
'No, you have become a close friend, Tau, I am keeping you with me.' I thought back as I followed Wash.
"What's up with that bag, did you like start packing it the minute I left blue base?" Wash asked.
I pretend chuckled and nodded and pointed to the ground.
He seemed to understand, "You planned on joining me on this mission as soon as you heard what I asked?"
I nodded vigorously.
"Huh. The mute one of this cannon is the smart one." Wash muttered.
I pretended to break down laughing.
"So are you really mute?" Wash asked.
I nodded as we got on the pelican.
"What caused that?" He asked.
I pulled out another piece of paper as we sat down and wrote. 'Fought some aliens in the war, suffered an injury to my vocal cords so they sent me here instead.'
I wrote this as Tau made up the story.
"Oh , I'm sorry, I guess you have more training than the average Sim trooper then?" Wash asked.
I wrote, 'Yes, I am the best at stealth though, I stole all the junk foods from red base for years.'
Wash chuckled, "So, what's your real name? Or do you prefer Mutey?" He asked as the pilot called out that we were nearly there.
'I hated Mutey at first, but I have grown to like it. It was Caboose's idea.' I wrote down before folding up the paper.
Wash stared at me in shock, "Is this Caboose this odd?"
I nodded my head.
'Hey, Caboose is awesome.' Tau said.
Caboose is the only other person to have met Tau and that was by accident. The one time Tau appeared in hologram form in the caves Caboose caught us, I signed to him that Tau was our imaginary friend. I hoped he didn't bring up Tau when talking to Wash but then again he had not told Church or Tucker at all in the two years he knew Tau.
'Ya. Hes our odd good friend.' I thought back as we landed.
"Oh no! Hell no! Excuse me, sir, but no goddamn way!" Said this blue based leader, Lieutenant Miller.
"You must be Lieutenant Miller." Wash replied, unimpressed.
"I got Reds comin' out of my ass here boss, and you wanna take away one of my men for a... what did you say this was for?" Miller said, turning to one of the blues.
"Secret mission, sir." One of the blues said.
"Aw, you gotta be-a what!?" Miller said.
"I think you have bigger issues than troop assignment, soldier. Like getting some of these vehicles back in working order. " Wash said, waving his hand to the burning vehicles.
"What do you think I'm talkin' about? This is YOUR fault! You sent us the new guy; he said he was good with vehicles. All he does is talk to 'em. Talk to 'em! What the hell is that all about? And now look at the damn things!" Miller yelled while gesturing to the broken vehicles.
Tau snorted in my head, 'That is definitely Caboose, I wonder if he thinks all vehicles are Sheila?'
'Who knows what happens in that dude's brain? Only ghost Church and Tex have seen that crazy show.' Tau and I constantly joked about how both Church and Tex seemed to believe they were ghosts. Tau liked to joke that he was an immovable ghost as he couldn't jump from suit to suit.
"I don't need to discuss your problems. I have orders, and those orders say I need Private Caboose and I need him now. He has information that could be vital to this-" Miller cut Wash off, seeming excited.
"Wait a second, Caboose? You're taking Caboose? And I don't have to pay you or anything like that?" Miller was definitly excited.
"Is that a problem?" Wash asked in confusion.
"A problem? Hehe, hell no! It must be Christmas morning n' no one told me. You stay right there, I'll get 'im for you. Private Jo-a-nes? Jo-a-nes? Jo-a-nes, where the hell are ya'!?" Miller yelled as he turned to his troops.
The Sim trooper named Jones sighed, "Sir, for the millionth time, my name is pronounced 'Jones'. Jones."
"Shut up, Jo-a-nes!" Said one of the other blues
"Seriously, lots of people have the name, it's very common. How am I the first person you've met called Jones?" He exclaimed.
"Jo-a-nes, I need ya to go down to the brig, untie Caboose and get him up here." Miller said.
"Me... alone?" Jones said, looking scared.
'Yep, classic Caboose, whats that name Tucker gave Caboose?' Tau said in my head.
'I believe it was 'Team-Killing-Fuck-Tard'' I thought.
'Ah yes, the good ole days.' Tau sighed sadly.
"Double time, Jo-a-nes." Miller yelled.
"Its pronounced... never mind, Christ." Jones said, walking away angrily.
"You keep him in the brig?" Wash asked in shock.
"We keep him tied up in the brig. I'm not taking any more chances." Miller said.
I hear a gunshot and the sound of Jones crying out 'Why!' and then Caboose runs out.
"Be careful." He says before he stops in front of us.
Miller quietly says to Wash, "You'll understand soon enough."
"You wanted to see me, Principal Miller?" Caboose asked. Tau chuckled in my head and thought 'Principal Miller' with a snort.
"Where's the guy I sent to get ya?" Miller asked, suspicious.
"Oh, him, yeah... um, he let me out then somehow shot himself in the back somehow. But we don't think it was anybody's fault. Everybody agrees it was an accident." Caboose said confidently. I smiled under my helmet, I sure did miss my idiot blue friend, I couldn't get away with as much stupid stuff without him around.
"Jesus! Would someone go and check on him?" Miller yelled to his troops and then turns back to Wash.
"This here is Special Agent Washington, from Blue Command. He has something fantastic he needs to talk to you about." Miller said to Caboose.
Caboose spaced out and saw me, "MUTEY!!!! Oh, it is so nice to see you, hows our imaginary friend?!" He asked excitedly.
I signed to him, 'Later Caboose, did you hear what Miller said?' I feared he would say Tau's name, it would be a dead giveaway to Wash. I also had the feeling we were being followed, so keeping Tau's exsistance a secret was never more important.
"Command? Oh no, they never have good news. Did somebody die? Was it my mom, is she dead? Or my dad, did my dad die again? Oh no." Caboose said, turning to Wash.
"What is this? I don't..." Wash asked in confusion.
"Hehe, you see, he's yours now. Hehe, no take-backs." Miller said excitedly.
"Is it my brother? Was my brother killed? That's it, isn't it, my brothers dead!" Caboose yelled.
'Caboose has a brother?' Tau started searching his records of the Sim troops of our canyon for the error.
"What... no, nothing like that." Wash said loudly in his confusion at where Caboose's thought process came from.
"Oh, good, because I don't even have a brother. H-how sad would it be to not have a brother and to lose a brother all in the same day." Caboose said in relief.
'Ah, well that explains it.' Tau said laughing while he stopped searching the records.
"No one died!" Wash yelled.
The blue that went in search of Jones returned, "Jo-a-nes is dead, sir." He said.
Wash froze, "Ok, no one besides him."
"Once again... nobody's fault. Pst... I think the new guy did it." Caboose whispered to me. I did my fake chuckle.
"Private Caboose, you were stationed at Blood Gulch, correct?" Wash, said steering the conversation back on track.
"Yeah... that was fun." Caboose said happily.
"And our records indicate that you were infected by an aggressive artificial intelligence program at one point. The Omega AI, is that correct as well?"
"Yeah... that wasn't as much fun." Caboose said in the same happy voice. Tau snorted in my head.
"Ok, well, I need you to come with me. I'm investigating a critical issue and you seem to be the only people with the knowledge and experience necessary to help me." Wash said, I turned to stare at him as everyone went silent.
"And I just realised how ridiculous that sounded once I said it out loud. Nonetheless, I need you to come with me." Wash said.
"Can I have a word with him first, sir?" Miller said, turning to walk away.
"Sure, I guess." Wash said.
Both Caboose and Miller walk away for a little talk while Wash and I stand in awkard silence.
"He's all yours!" Miller yells to Wash once they finished talking.
"Great, let's get going." Wash said, turning to walk away.
"Okay." He said to Wash and then whispered to me as we walked, "Is our imaginary friend doing good?"
I signed, 'Yes, Caboose, but lets not talk about him, Wash doesn't like imaginary friends.'
"Ok" He whispered.
Caboose immediately went to talking normally again, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet!?"
"Just... try and be quiet, ok." Wash sighed.
"I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. I need to go to the bathroom again..." Caboose kept repeating, both Wash and I sighed, him aloud, me internally while still trying to figure out the feeling I had of us being watched.