Chapter 11
Vic's P.O.V.
I really do like the way he tastes, and feels, and sounds. I can't believe I used to hate the guy with a passion, and now here we are making out in his bedroom. The problem is, this won't be his room for much longer. He was able to negotiate an agreement with his father, that he will stay with Matty until school is over. He's got the house for a few more days, but all the furniture has already been moved. Except for his bed.
"Kellin..." I moan, because my phone has started to ring. "Let me see who that is." But Kellin doesn't stop kissing me, or touching me, and I'm fine with that. I just let the phone jump around buzzing, sending it to voice mail.
He runs his fingers through my hair. "I'm going to hate not seeing you everyday during the summer." He says, and I nod. All the attention is very enjoyable. We kiss some more, until I finally get myself out of the tangle of his limbs to grab my phone. I click through to hear the message, and I'm greeted with the voice of Jenna Whyler, sobbing.
"Vic, please call me back. It's Jaime, something's happened to Jaime, and... and.... Vic, please!" My eyes widen and I can't speak. Jaime... Oh god, no.
"What's up?" Kellin asks me, concern filling his voice. I shake my head, calling back Jenna.
"Vic? Vic!" She exclaims, her voice thick with tears. I can hear her struggling to keep them in, but her worry and shock is plain as day.
"What's happened? Where's Jaime?" I ask, my own worry pushing me to the brink of anger and fear.
Jenna gasps back a sob. "I don't know, he got in an accident. I'm at the hospital, but of course I can't see him. I have no idea if he's okay!"
"How did you know what happened?" I ask her.
"He didn't show up for our date, so I went looking for him. That's when his parents called me and... I can't believe this can be happening!" Jenna is taking shaky breaths in to keep from crying.
"I'll be right there!" I say, jumping off the bed and hanging up. Kellin looks at me with worry and more concern. "I have to get to the hospital. It's Jaime."
His eyes widen. "Well fucking shit! I'm coming with you!" He starts to get up but I hold out a hand to stop him.
"No, it's better if it's just me. I'm his best friend." I hope the last statement is still true.
Kellin sits back down and nods. "Call me if you need anything." I rush down the stairs and out the door, leaving Kellin behind. I barely think as I'm jamming the key into the ignition. Stupid, stupid, stupid! How could I have let something like this happen to the only friend I have? Am I so blinded by the love and attention coming from the brat I used to hate? People change. I've changed. I let this happen. It's all my fault.
I'm speeding away to the hospital, wishing that I had sirens so I could whoosh right through the red lights. But unfortunately, I don't, so I get to the hospital later than I would have liked. I run to the front desk, almost slamming my hand down on the wood.
"Jaime Preciado, is he here?" I ask, panic striking into me. The secretary looks at me reassuringly.
"Calm down hon." She says, patting my hand as she searches through the list.
"No, I can't, he's my best friend, and I don't know what to do!" I choke, and the woman looks at me sadly.
"He's in ICU, hon. He's gotten pretty bad injuries, and visitors are family only for the few couple days after the surgery." She says, probably telling me things she can't because of how I'm acting.
"S-surgery?" I stammer. Nononono!
"Darling, you'll be okay." She says, patting my hand again. "His family is in the waiting room if you would like to join them for the time being."
I nod. "Okay." She directs me to the waiting room, where I find Jenna sitting staring at the floor and the Preciados talking to each other urgently, Mrs. Preciado crying.
"Oh Vic!" She exclaims, running towards me and throwing her arms around me in the way that my own mother would. Comforting and supportive. But she's the one who needs the support, not me. Mrs. Preciado pulls away and wipes the tears from her eyes.
"How are you holding up, Mrs. P?" I ask her, though I know it's a ridiculous question to ask. My voice wavered while asking it and I already know the answer. She takes in a shaky breath.
"J-just fine." She mutters, trying to keep in her sob. That's when the doctor walks in. Upon seeing Jenna and I, he frowns, pulling Jaime's parents outside of the waiting room to explain to them just what possibly could have happened to Jaime. I go and sit down beside Jenna, hoping that she will say something, but she's silent. That's reasonable. I mean, her boyfriend is undergoing surgery, and she isn't allowed to find out what's going on just yet. So I put a reassuring arm around her shouldesr, because I am feeling the same way. Jenna glances at me and smiles sadly.
"Thanks." She whispers, and I nod, because I would also appreciate that if someone did that for me. Just to be there for that person when they really need it. I sigh, hoping and praying that Jaime will be all right. He has to be, he just has to. I need to tell him how sorry I am. If I don't get the chance, then what happens to me? I can't live with that guilt...
Fuck Vic, stop thinking like that! My inner voice yells at me, snapping me out of my reverie. Jenna isn't crying, but her hands are wound so tightly, I fear her fingers will snap and her wrists will break. And all the while, my phone is vibrating like a mad man on meth. I want to ignore it, but now Jenna is glaring at my pocket, so I pull out my phone and check the Caller ID. No surprise there, it's my loving boyfriend. I sigh, feeling suddenly irritated, but I would like the support.
"Kells?" I say into the receiver, and my voice cracks. I'm flooded with more emotions, but there's that ever swirling cloud of guilt and sorrow. One that stands out though is my desire for Kellin to love me, a lust so strong that it almost feels wrong. Not now, not when my best friend could die or when I'm feeling so horrible. But that's the thing. I feel terrible, and I want, need, someone to make me feel better, even if it's only for a short period of time.
"How are you? How's Jenna? Jaime?" He asks rapidly, he's concern overwhelming me. I never knew he cared about Jaime so much. Or maybe it's just because that's my closest connection other than him, and it's ruining me to think about it.
"Jenna is okay, trying her best not to crack. I'm doing just fine as well. And Jaime..." My voice fails me, and I want to scream. Godammit, I want Kellin. I want to punch the wall too. "I have no idea if he's okay." I whisper.
"Aw, babe, don't worry. Hell, I'm worrying." He laughs humorlessly, but it turns into a quiet sigh. "I want him to be alright so you'll be alright." I nod, but he can't see me, so I mutter a quiet, "Yeah."
"I'll be at Matty's if you need me." He says, and I whisper, "Okay," Because it seems like I can't come up with anymore words. I just want to sit in silence and wait for it all to get better.
***
The doctors said that Jaime is in a coma, and they're not quite sure when he'll wake up. Apparently, the surgery was a success, but if he's in a coma, doesn't that mean they failed? No, I guess not. I bet it went fine, I bet he didn't feel a thing. Yeah sure, tell me what you want. But he's in a fucking coma, and I can't get over the fact that he may never wake up.
I'm sitting beside him now, grasping his hand. It's already been a few days after he was released out of ICU, and now he is permitted visitors that aren't just family. I try to stay with Jaime as long as I possibly can, but there's the last week of school to deal with and the nurses are constantly bugging me. I just want to have as much time with my best friend as possible, is that so wrong?
I tell Jaime the same things I always do. "I'm sorry..." So on and so forth. I tell him about Jenna and how she's doing, and I tell him about how my days are going and how I miss laughing with his sorry ass. I tell him about Kellin, because I think we're working out. I don't know what's going on really, but I've decided to go with the flow for the time being. I tell him that he shouldn't worry about Jenna having a new date to the prom, she refuses to go with anyone other than him. I tell him all these things, hoping he can hear me. I wish he would just wake up and smile, laugh it off and talk about how crazy that was. But no such thing happens. I lay my head on the bed, sighing and choking back a frustrated cry.
There's a quick knock on the door, but the nurse doesn't wait for me to answer. She swiftly opens the door, smiling at me. "Visiting time's over, Mr. Fuentes." I glance back at Jaime, checking to see if he moved, but no luck there. I get up, and the nurse sternly leads me out of the room. I shuffle back to my car, wanting desperately to spend every single passing minute in that sterile room with Jaime, but I can't, and I know that.
I drive out to meet Kellin at the park. He's sitting on the grass under a tree, fiddling with his fraying jeans. I can't help running up to him and practically throwing myself into his lap. I wrap my arms around him, enjoying the comforting feeling of his arms winding around me.
"Is Jaime...?" He begins to ask, but I shake my head. He buries his face in my hair, and I close my eyes. God, do I want it badly. But for now, I settle on this affection. It's sweet.
All I need is to forget. I want Jaime to get better so badly, but I'm starting to lose faith in myself. I know this is all my fault, and if I try convincing Kellin that it is, he'll just tell me I'm being ridiculous. Though I've never brought it up...
"It's my fault." The words burst out before I can stop them. I don't want to have this conversation now! But oh well, now I have no choice.
"What?" Kellin looks up from the position of his face in my hair. His eyes search my face as he says, "What is?"
"You already know. All of this. It's my fault! Jaime getting in the accident, all the friction between him and I before. My fault. Everything is always my fault, and I fear that I'm going to hurt you one day and have no one." I spew out all these things like a fountain, trying my best not to get wound up. Kellin gently runs a hand down my back.
"Vic, stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have to realize not everything is your fault. What happened to Jaime was the dude who ran his car over's fault. Not yours. And the problems between you two started with me, so that is partially my fault." He pauses."I'm afraid of losing you, because I don't want to be left with people who don't care for me. So even if something did happen, I'd either come running back or get really pissed." I smile at the last remark. It fades quickly though.
"I just... I feel so lost." I whisper, and Kellin hugs me tighter.
"I know... I know."
A/N: I feel too lazy to proof read right now, so my apologies if there are any mistakes. I'm going camping once again, I know, my mom organized a weird schedule, so I'll write the next chapter once I get back.
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Peace, Love and Chicken Grease
Rebeka >;P