It was one of those days.
One of those days when I had no control over myself and my body.
I could see my hand moving towards my mouth, but I could not control it from placing the bit of food into my mouth. Happiness washed over me in a swift motion while I chewed, but it was soon replaced with guilt and hatred.
I'm already fat and ugly. There isn't any point in stopping.
And so I continued. I continued to stuff my face because deep down, I knew I could not change.
No matter how much I wanted to.
This was rooted in me. It was far too deep for me to control.
I knew for a fact that tomorrow I would wake up again in the morning, and pretend that nothing had happened. I will smile and laugh and nod in all the right places.
I will convince everybody that I'm fine.
I will convince myself that I'm fine.