*Revised on January 12th, 2020
Alexander Hamilton
I woke up at three in the morning, still wrapped in John's arms. He was out cold.
At first I was confused, but then I remembered the storm. It was still drizzling outside, but I was fine with light rain.
I somehow got out of John's grasp without waking him. I smiled at his sleeping form.
He looked so peaceful.
I then sat on John's bed after finding my laptop and began typing again. I wrote about John and how he held me when I was breaking down; how he kept kissing the top of my head and apologizing even though it wasn't his fault. I liked to keep an electronic diary.
I couldn't deny that I had feelings for this man. I was in it deep this time.
A few minutes passed and John began to stir in his sleep. I saw him stretch out of the corner of my eye.
He smiled at me, "Mornin', Lex." he greeted with a slight Southern drawl. That made him even more attractive to me.
I smiled back, "It's three in the morning, John."
"How long have you been up?" He asked, sitting up.
"A few minutes." I said, closing my laptop.
"You should try going back to sleep." He said.
"I'm not tired." I said.
"Oh, okay."
"I mean, I did sleep from six p.m. to three a.m."
"Good point." He said.
I nodded.
"So, what made you open up and tell me everything yesterday?" He asked after a short moment of silence.
I shook my head, "I don't know. I just... didn't want you to think I was weird for breaking down like that."
"Like I said before, it doesn't make you weird. The past can bring up all sorts of shit. I'm still not over my shit."
"What's your shit? You don't have to tell me if it's uncomfortable for you." I said.
John chuckled, "Might as well. My mother passed away when I was young, leaving me with my father and four younger siblings back in South Carolina. It was fine for a while, I mean, my dad was out of the house a lot and I was the one that took care of my brothers and sisters, but it was manageable." He said.
I nodded, signaling him to continue.
"Then, a few years ago, when I was around fifteen, I... I came out as gay." He said, slightly grimacing at the thought, "His response was to hit me with a belt and kick me out. I had nowhere to go."
"I-" I began, then John continued.
"I came back a couple days later after living on the streets." He said softly. We were both sitting up on the sides of our beds now, facing each other, "He told me he'd set up a therapy appointment for me - for my sexuality - and I guess I just pretended that I was straight to make him happy. I had a secret boyfriend for a little while after that, but that didn't end up well. Now I'm here, the only reason I am is because my dad's paying... I just want to be myself around my family, but I can't. It fuckin' sucks."
I stood up, approached him, and wrapped my arms around him. He sniffled and began to cry.
I rubbed circles on his back, resting my chin on the top of his head, similarly to the previous evening, although this time I was standing and he was sitting.
"It's gonna be alright." I said softly. I wasn't the best at comforting people, but I was trying, "Your father can't control you anymore. Nothing's going to harm you, John."
"I'm sorry." He croaked out, pushing himself away from me, "I'm being ridiculous."
"Now you know how I feel: ridiculous." I said, "But it's not ridiculous. It just feels like it."
He cracked a smile.
"It's okay to be vulnerable, John." I said.
"I know," He said softly.
"You should sleep." I said, pulling away from him, "Do you want to go back to your bed?"
"No." John said, "I'm not tired. My sleep schedule is seriously fucked up."
"Welcome to my life." I said with a laugh.
"You know what I do want to do? Make mac and cheese." John said.
I laughed again, "Okay, have fun with that."
"No, you have to help." He said, standing up and taking my hand in his. We exited the bedroom and went into the kitchen area.
I sat down at the table while he reached up in the cabinet to get the box, "Mac and cheese is easy, I don't need to help."
"Then you can be here for moral support." He said, taking out a pan from the cupboard and filling it up with water. Then, he put the pan on the stove and turned it on to boil the water.
"You're cute." I said without thinking. I immediately hid my face with my hands.
"So are you." He replied. I looked up at him who was holding the box and reading the directions. There was a small smile on his face. I felt my cheeks heat up.
Soon, the water was boiling. John poured the noodles in and began cooking them. When they were fully cooked, he drained the water from the pan and placed it back on the stovetop.
"Okay. Four tablespoons of butter and one fourth cup of milk. This is where you come in." He said.
I stood up and went to the fridge, grabbed a stick of butter and the gallon of milk.
I cut the stick of butter in half as John poured a tiny bit of milk into the pan, "Who needs to measure?"
I laughed before putting the butter in the pan. John stirred it up until it was melted.
I opened the packet of powdered cheese and poured it in while John was stirring. Soon enough, it was all mixed and we could eat.
We sat at the table with our bowls of mac and cheese, "Nothing like making mac and cheese in the middle of the night with your roommate." John said. I laughed.
After we were done eating, we washed the dishes together. There was no dishwasher so we had to do it by hand, but it was fun.
Later, we watched another movie, but we talked the whole time. It wasn't long before it was time to for ready for class.
-----
As Tuesday classes were different than Monday, John and I's classes were different.
I had a public speaking course at nine in the morning, an English class at ten, and debate at eleven. After that, my classes were overwith.
The first two classes seemed to drag on, the boring professors only went through the syllabi and talked about the class schedules.
It wasn't long before debate. I found the classroom after a moment of searching without too much trouble.
I walked to the front of the room and sat at a desk as I brushed a piece of my hair back with my hand. It was down today, I wished I brought a hair tie. It was getting on my nerves.
Other students filed in, and it was soon eleven.
Someone then sat next to me. It was a man looking to be my age, maybe a little older.
"Alexander Hamilton." I said, introducing myself.
"My name is Aaron Burr, sir." He said back to me.
"Nice to meet you." I said just as the professor walked in. He set his things down on his desk and began speaking.
"Hello, class. I'm Professor Washington, welcome to debate."
We all murmured half-hearted responses.
He mostly went through the syllabus as well, but the class went by rather quickly.
Burr and I made small talk when we were supposed to introduce ourselves. He seemed nice, but he told me I talked too much, and that I needed to smile more or something.
It wasn't long before that class was finished as well, so I made the short walk back to my dorm.
I walked in and set my messenger back on the ground. I found my hair tie and put my hair up into a loose bun.
John wasn't back yet. He had class until one o'clock.
I decided to begin writing on my laptop again. It only felt like five minutes had passed when John walked in, but when I looked at the clock, it reads one o'five.
"Hey." I greeted, returning my gaze to my screen.
He just groaned and fell on the couch next to me.
"What's wrong?" I ask, looking at him.
"Nothing." He said, his voice muffled by the pillow under his face, "I'm just tired. I hate college."
"It's not that bad." I said.
He turned his head to look at me, "Classes suck."
"What classes did you have today?" I ask.
"Stupid ones." He groaned, "The only class I'm kind of excited about this semester is environmental science, and that's Monday, Wednesday, Friday."
I nodded then continued my work.
It was silent for a while when John spoke up again.
"What're you writing about, Lex?"
You, I thought, but instead said, "Just practicing debate essays."
"Cool." He said, "What do you want for lunch?"
"I don't care." I said, "It's up to you."
He thought for a moment before saying, "Ugh. I don't want to make anything.
"Then let's go to the caf." I said.
"Oh yeah. Sometimes I forget that that's an option."
"Let me finish this paragraph, then we can go." I said.
"Okay." He replied. He sat up and began to scroll through his phone.
I finished my idea on the word document and saved my work. Then, I closed my laptop and put it away.
"I'm ready to go." I said, and after getting my shoes on, we were soon out the door and on our way to the cafeteria.
/a/n this chapter had a weird ending whoops
I love this book
I hope you enjoyed this chapter
Thanks for reading!
-Emily